Many in the world, are aging and it is normal to do of course we all do it, no matter race, creed or color. Sadly there are somethings we can not change about aging, physical problems are always a things for humanity, for as we age our body, fails us in certain areas. If we exercise physically and mentally and stay alert we seem to be fine, but even though, we still age and ultimately pass away.
The hardest thing in life is the cycle we go through socially. When young we don’t care much about social interaction, for our youth keeps us strong and going and we do attract each other as humans. As you age more you reach the teen years, then hormones and fermones kick in, in each sex. Physical needs become a major part of life and sex drives us through many years. Yet, once you get to a certain age, even your sexual prowess and needs begin to fade, the drive, starts to disappear. We marry, have children, get responisible and work to take care of our families, that we form.
Then marriage ends for many in different ways, divorce, death happen. After years and decades for many, we find ourselves suddenly alone due to these processes. Some grow apart as we age, we go our seperate ways, we wander, we are all searching for something that works for us and ultimately we find a new love, or we end up single again and alone. This then becomes a struggle to find and search for a companion once more, and for many americans in today’s world, loneliness becomesa syndrome we all face and learn to slowly live with. We fall into a state of being alone, and we fall at times into states of depression, some of us, it is a lite depression, for others a deeper one. The level of depression depends on the interactions we have with others and how we feel about ourselves, as we go along.
Is there help for us as we age, is there a way to stay active and interacting with others? Ageism isa factor few of us realize we are facing, until we try to reach out, to find others to onteract with, in a dating way. Dating as we all know, is how we meet others, and get to know them, on a friend basis, a realtionship basis and a sexual basis. It is also how we make permanent friend sthat help us survive longer in life. We age, we lose our partners, lovers and sometimes friends, and then we wander, and struggle to start over and meet new people.
Now many, belive the best way to get restarted oncea divorce or death occurs and we find ourselves alone is the bar/ tavern scene. But again we run into a problem because, even this scene of dating is geared for the younger crowd. Go to any bar/ tavern and you can see, the active ones are younger, 20’s, 30’s, early 40’s, mainly. When you hit 55 and up, you are looked at as being old, senior, boring. It’s true, you know it I know it and we have now lived it too. We get seperated from the youth, and we settle into a slow, deliberate lifestyle, we pay our bills and get into our own habits and likes and go day by day, plowing ahead surviving.
So what does one do, when you get over 55, if you suddenly single again? We look for social events and activities, and we attempt to get involved, some of us move to condos, apartments and places to live, for the 55 plus crowds. While these places are built for the 55 plus generation, it is many times an adjustment many of us, find ourselves having a difficult time to go through and live out. And even when we do accept it and start to live it, we realize, it limits us in many ways and we age quicker due to it. Sadly, is there a way around it, a place we can go to find that companionship and those relationships many of us wish to stay in and have?
Online dating helps some people, but we all try it andfind out, it is scarey, it is sad, and it seems like desperation for all of us. We pay sites like Zoosk, Match, Our Time, to help us find someone we can enjoy life with. In the end it doesn’t work for all. Many can’t connect, because we have memories, or fears, of being taken for money, or used of abused. It happens believe me, I have lived it seen it and wonder why I even tried it. Again desperation leads us to it, for organially finding someone is for the youth, so what is for the aged, 55 plus? Is there anything that works, not really. Is there anyone out there that can find the answer to this question, I do not know, but, I do know ageism ends more lives then anything else in America. Isolation, loneliness, is a killer for all of us as we age. Our bodies fail us, our minds do too, and we fall into ruts and depression, and that is like a winding hole from which we can not climb back out of, for many. To avoid it all, we must choose what to do about it.
Find a hobby, find a sport, read, write, speak, go to events, force yourself. I know it sounds crazy, I know some are looking at me , going your nouts, you don’t know what your doing or saying, but I do. Once your interactions with others start to end or stop so does your life force. ZDo what you love first, like to walk walk, like to run run, like to draw, paint, dance, write, do it folks, whether you have a partner of not. I once told a very old friend of mine, when we were both single again, don’t write letters to magazines or personal ads, it gets you no where and wastes money and time. The best way to meet someone and find someone is what he asked me for, so I gave him this.
I don’t care if your male or female, what color or creed or nationality you may be. Be you, do what you love, be yourself. Go do what you love to do, be happy doing it, stay active in it and someone will notice you. Your not alone out there looking for love or companionship, many people are searching for it too, but they are attracted not just to looks, the attraction is happiness, joy, it’s infectious and it attracts too. Ever notic ethe more you laigh, the more you have fun at what you do, the more people notice you, why, because everyone searches for interactions, and things to do that makes them happy and smile. people get bored with the same daily routine folks, so do yourself a favor change things up, explore, learn if you can, teach if you can, assist if you can, volunteer if you can. Lecture, entertain, and go to events, stay active. Push it, but never surrender.
We will all if we live old enough, of course if we are lucky, to be 55 plus. If you are lucky enough to reach that age, keep active, walk, run, play pickleball, tennis, golf, dance, do art, hobbies, read, but do what makes you happy. I know I can’t guarantee, you wil find someone if your single again at 55 plus, but I can tell you this much, and it is a simple truth, the happier 55 plus people do what they love and what makes them happy and that helps them find someone because they are themselves. Always be you, be honest, but be open to all. Doesn’t mean love all people, it means be accepting of all, you don’t have to stay and like all, but you choose, and it makes a difference. The more positive, and smiling you are the more people you attract. Period.
One problem I have as a 67 year old widower is a simple one, I don’y really drink. Many love bars, taverns and like to drink socially. I avoid booze or drugs, so that eliminates a place to meet the opposite sex. So, I walk, I try to find places to rea dor write, or even dance, bowl, play billards if I can. I like fishing, but all of it isolates me if I fish. I drive around trying to explore my area, but I live in Westboro, Mass here, you have to drive forever to find anything it seems to me, I am new to Mass and the area. So, I now must try to search, for things to do, places to go in a new area, I have no idea of. You tell people you know nothing of the area your in, your new to it and no one voluteers to help you, it doesn’t work that way it seems. So, one must search when your 55 plus, for places to fit in, none of it is easy as you age. Ageism always comes into play.
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