I was asked, by some people why I do not attend events at the clubhouse here at DWCL. My answer is many things. 1) Some people don’t accept everyone who live here. 2) Some people are rude, impolite and inconsiderate of other’s feelings. 3) I do not agree with all the rules enforced in said clubhouse, nor do I believe anyone should be banned from it for asking questions. 4) Between the HOA and Arch Emedias The rules are enforced unfairly and unevenly.
I tried to attend events and found myself feeling like a fifth wheel and that did not feel well. Some asked me to give it another chance to get involved more, I am sorry but, I say no. If you go to play a game and your told to tone it down, not to laugh loud or talk too much, that is not a social interaction to me anymore. Next problem is simple really, I do not do large crowds well, my ADHD kicks in and my PTSD, from my childhood and military career. I barely handle playing pool on Monday evenings, or going bowling on Friday afternoons. Yet I force myself to do so. Some have said, well, you don’t like it move, my response is simple, no energy for it, too old to do so, and money is tight.

This is not meant as a critsizing of anyone person, nor, do I mean to say this neighborhood is all bad. I do say, there are ways to make people feel welcome, who live here, and ways to treat people with respect, caring and just be nice, even if you do not like them. We live in a neighborhood of 55 plus individuals, who should know how to treat others with respect, decency and politness at least. People make decisions in their own ways and not all will like one another and that is understood by me and all who live here, I am sure. I walk alot and mind my own business, and I say hello to almost all I see when I do. I do not ignore people, I do not anger people or upset people in anyway. I live here so I try to get along with all, even if I do not like someone. I thought moving here would be a good idea for a widower of my age, I did not know I would be judged for what I say, or how I laugh, or if I talk loudly. There is a very old saying, Do not judge others, unless you wish to be judged yourself. For you will be.

In the end, Dell Webb Chauncy Lake, is like a modern project, just built like condos, and an enviroment much like the old TV Show Peyton Place was. Since i have been here, already two have committed suicide here. It is a place, in my opinion, built by Pulte, to milk seniors out of their money. It is also a place, that some are moved to because their families do not want to care for them. Sadly, today’s Amercian Society is failing it’s ederly generation and forgetting or ignoring us. Would I recommend Dell Webb Chauncy Lake to another person? No, I would not.

It’s not what they advertise online or on the television screens, and the people are not the friendliess around. It is a place built on cliques and groups, like a project is. So if you don’t fit in, you get pushed out, left out, or ignored and end up alone. Thus the suicides that have happened so far, and will probally happen again. Just because you live in a compound of so many people, it does not mean you will be accepted by them. Suicide is an option I am sure many have thought about living here, for that comes to mind when you feel isolated and alone in such an enviroment/ community. Depression will seep in, it happens, to many.

So, if your a widower, or widow, or divorcee, alone and on your own, this is not the place to find a future partner or lover. It’s a community where word, travels quickly, fingers get pointed fast, and talked about. Like I said it is a Peyton Place, of 55 plus people. While it is nice to have a clubhouse, an entertainment directer, a HOA to care for the grounds and such, it is also a cost to each resident each month. Keep that in mind also. Last thing, the build is not grerat here by Pulte in my opinion, mistakes are made and units are sold to people. Appliances are construction grade, and they go too. Maintance costs include, mainaince on your AC and HEAT/Hot Water units too ,each year. Plus your normal Utilities, TV services, Internet service too. Just so all know. Is there really an advantage or a pleasure thing about living in DWCL, in my opinion not really. yet many rersidents here , who have bought, play along and try to enjoy it to the best of their ability. Additional costs comes into to. play, if you get a parking space under your building. So, I always tell anyone, if you move here, make sure you have money in the bank, or a steady income, to cover these items and upgrades that may be needed.

I only want to say, Nothing and I mean Nothing, should stop, delay, or avoid for any reason, the Epstien Files and their release! The hundreds many thousands of victims who were young girls used by Epstien, Maxwell, and yes, it looks like Trump in everyway, was totally abusive, rapes and more. If Trump is named in those files, it should all be included and given out to the public immediately. Those young women now a days are suffering from it all and they deserve justice fully, not partially. If Melania Trump was Jeffery Epstien’s girlfriend or intimate with him she should be questioned legally before Congress and so should Donald J. Trump and anyone else named as a friend, associate of Jeffery Epstien, immediately. Thousands of Pictures of Trump half naked with these young girls are all ove rthe internet and in papers in America. Just because Americans were foolish enough top vote him to the Presidency for a second term, does not excempt, excuse or pardon Trump if he or anyone else touched these young girls. It is sex abuse at it’s worst and a shame and against all laws in all states of our Country. If Congress does not act and do something and release these file sin full, they should lal be removed from office as soon as humanly possible an dmade to face charges of aiding and abetting a pedophile and his associates.

The biggest shock of my life is how the Supreme Court is doing nothing about the Epstien files, the victimes and those who victimized the girls. Why are they not acting and why are they not forcing the release of all the files? Someone explain that please!

As it is now, Donald J. Trump is a 34 time convicted felon, who owes E.Jean Carrol for rape now, 5 million an dmore for it. On top of that he is a con man, corrupt as hell and a theif who is stealing from America. Someone needs to act and if Congress, either House or Senate does not act or take action, then, we need to clean out all Republicans from their offices they now hold. They are aiding and abetting Donald J. Trump and all who, touched these victims. Period!!!

Donald J. Trump started a damn war with Iran, to distract and slow down the release of these records period. Now we fight a war we don’t need and use up our weapons and money too. The economy is shit, prices rising daily on all items costing the average Americaqn more money each day. gas prices flew up on all Americans and oil prices too. Inflation, Illegal killing of Immigration and deportions, ktrying to kill American Citizens for people born here? Come on now. Add in Interfearing in Elections, and trying to stop mail in ballots an dmore. Be Real! The saddest thing I have ever seen on my 70 years alive in America is the fact, Americans voted Trump a second term in Office and now they are paying for it big time. It Must Stop, Trump should be Impeached again and removed under the 25th Admendment, he is incapable and incompetent in my opinion. What President would hold a Wrestling Match on the White House LAwn, none, it’s a disgrace to all Americans, period.

The United States was put together with three seperate Branchs of Government,what it is now, is run by one man and controlled by his party the Republicans. Sadly, America is now tipped in one direction under Donald Trump and The supreme Court is even in his favor at all times. America is being destroyed unde rthe current situation. I advise all Americans to neve rgive control of all three Branches and The Presidency to one party ever again! We are seeing the reason why each day we live in America since the last Election. How one man can scare so many Republicans into voting for all his decisions an dthey have no will or backbone of their own to say no to him. It’s sad as hell folks. Politicans on the Republican side are scare dof getting primaried by others at Trump’s direction, because they went against him. It’s a sad thing to see.

June 25th, 2026, Good Morning! As I sit here and think and after numerous conversations with other people regarding the state of the dating scene in Massachuetts and my area or Westborough, Worcester County, I find the odds, totally against finding anyone to date. Seems to me I may be too old at 70 years old first, secondly most women 60 and up, if widowed or divorced, are afraid of being used, abused or taken, and I get it I do.

Yet it is nice to have female friends first off to balance a man out. Secondly, their company and companionship is good for the soul.What isn’t good, is the fact the above is happening in todays world. Seems to find someone to date, is like pulling teeth first off, secondly, I get hesitatnt and frankly scared of asking anyone out, because of my age. while there are plenty of divorcees and widows around where i live the third problem comes up of dating someone where I live. Because as we all know whether we are men or women, women do talk big time. So make one mistake, and it will be all over the compound i live i and that would be like forcing me to move. So, it is all a catch 22 situation in many ways. Even if you ask, you have to think twice, and if it doesn’t go right well you get my drift.

I tried dating apps like Match, and others, and found out yes, even the women lie about things too. For one thing age they lie about, looks they us eothers photos at times and they make fake profiles. Been there seen it! I don’t need to be taken for money or belongings anymore than a women would want to be. So, I am at the point of surrender when it comes to women, because to approach and ask, is dangerous her in my book. I know of the story of a man who trie dthat here where I live and six months later he had to move and sell his condo. I am not going anywhere, I am too old to move again in my mind.

If anyone has a solution to the above dilimena, please feel free to let me know. I keep hoping, but never getting anywhere because of self doubt, fears and in the end my age. So,if ya have a solution I would love to hear it, feel free to make suggestions or give ideas to me at wmccurrach20@gmail.com, or if you know me in person.

Saturday May 23rd, 2026 is upong us and it is what is called Memorial Day Weekend. Which believe it or not has been commercialized into a party weekend, across the USA. People pack up and go to beaches, or picnics or parties together and have fun and some get drunk and fall down and so much more. But, it is important that we remember what Memorial Day Really is folks. IT’s a day and time to reflect on the men and women who gave their all to preserve and protect what we all have, Democracy, our Republic,our Bill of Rights and our Constitution. Our way of life and those who gave their for all of us to enjoy the life we have in America.

I know as a Disabled American Veteran who served and did my duty for 16 years, all Veterans and all who have given and gave all we could, just like to be reconignized and a simple Thank You said to us, for all we did. There have been questions asked like, why did we do what we did, why did we serve so well, or so long? I shall tell you what many do not understand, we do not do so for ourselves as members of the military, we do it for the families we leave at home, the wives, the husbands, the sons the daughters the relatives we love so well. We do it so they may stay free, so they may stay happy and flourish and enjoy all the freedoms we have. Across the world there are countries that don’t have free speech, that don’t have rights like we do. They don’t and can’t do as they please because they will be persecuted, attacked and banned or killed for doing thinhgs wrong or not in accordance with what they are told to do. And we should ge grateful that, it hasn’t come to America that way as of yet. But, we should also, guard against it and stop it when we see it coming!

No man is a King in America folks! No one should be a King in America, so said our Forefathers, almost 250 years ago now! They believed in No Taxation Without Representation. They Believed in the right to speak and say what was right or to voice their opinions. They believed in the Right to Bear Arms, for the protection of self and home. These are basic beliefs in America today and they should stay and stand. There is no place or reason to change them, for they have worked for 250 years folks. As KIng Charles of England said, Power Unchecked kills folks, it destroys and checks and balances were built into our laws and Constitution and our Bill of Rights. Congress needs to wake up, it needs to use it’s checks and balances and guide and protect and defend our Constitution, our Bill of Rights and stop anyone one man from becoming a King or Dictator.

If Your Congressperson or Senator is not voting to protect and defend your rights and not voting to stop one man from becoming a King or Dictator, than they do not belong in office. They should be Voted out come November, I don’t care how much money they have, or how long they have been in office. They need to go, for they have lost the ability to think independently, to make decisions on their own, and the ability to be apart of the checks and balance system the Forefathers invented and maintained. If one can not stand tall and say No More Wars and mean it, or they can’t stand and say stop it, they need to go. If they can’t help American get Healthcare or pay their bills or feed our families, they need to go. If they can’t come to work daily in Congress like they are supposed to, they shouldn’t be there or get paid or have the benedfits they have. They are not earning them folks.

Do me a favor this Memorial Day, as you think of those Veterans who gave their all, think also of the ones who are doing nothing to defend, protect and help those of us at home here. The citizens of America need people in office, who can say no, who can explain why they say no and know how to build, and create, and block the want of one man to be King or Dictator. We don’t need a bunch of kiss ass, whiney people in Congress who go yes sir, yes sir, two bags full, we will voted for whatever you wish to do! It’s time American stood tall, it’s time we all wake up and say no more! Billions of our dollars are being used for toys and to build bullshit projects for one man’s whims. Millions of Americans are being sent to war, for one man’s whim, with no justification or reason given. I know I have heard the call, of No Nukes for Iran. That same call was used on other nations too, that now have nukes and didn’t and havent used then since getting them. So, the No NUkes for Iran doesn’t fly with me and shouldn’t with you either. It’s stupid, our wives, husbands and sons and daughters are fighting a war we do not belong in, and for what reason, one man wanted it and made it so. Congress needs to stop him, now and bring our military home!

We need Health care for our ederly, seniors and disabled implimented. We need our economy turned around and lower gas and fuel prices, We need lower food costs and utility costs too. We need people in office who care about America and it’s people an dour way of life a lot more than we need to be policing the damn world! We are not the police of the world, it isn’t our job to fix everything for everybody. And yes, we say we are the most powerful forces on the planet and we are, but, we won’t be forever folks. Not if we waste our munitions and man power and knowledge to fight every war and everyone the world doesn’t like. we wil lbe diminished, weaker and less capable, in no time. It is not always the biggest gun, that wins folks, sometimes, it is the smartest, mast capable who wins and that should be us.

This Memorial Day, The United States of America, should rededicate itself to the ways and thoughts of it’s Forefathers. We should dedicated our country to Freedoms, to Equality, to Peace, to no Taxazation without Representation. We should remember what was fought for in the Revoluntionary War folks. We should remeomeber those who gave their lives for all we have an dbuild on it, not let one man, one tyrant, or dictator or would be King destroy it! Since when does the United States Governement, allow people to attack it’s capital and the police and defenders of it and then pay them for doing so? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! They attacked the capital, but now, they want paid for doing so, and we the people are stupid enough to allow it to happen, nooooooooooooooooooo! Call your Congress Person, Call your Senators, protest and stop this from happening. Thats our tax dollars they want to hand over to people who attacked our capital and way of life at the bidding of one man. Wake up folks, ya gonna pay your neighbor to attack your home next? Hell no, not in my life, would I allow it and neither should you.! Stop this stupid Fund from being paid out or used to pay these people now!

I do hope and pray, This Memorial Day of 2026 for all of those who gave their all to protect and defend and establish this Country and Union. I also HOpe and pray that America wakes up, and changes what needs changed to keep us going. Vote out the people who say Yes to everything one party wants or one man wants. Lets change this now, or we shall all be sitting here, soon enough wishing we did, soon enough. I didn’t serve my country, to see one an come in and take over and estroy it from within and i don’t think anyone Veteran alive or deceaseddid either folks. Vote out the Yes Sir, Yes Sir , Two Bags full people and lets take back our country and find a way to fix the affordability factor too. LIFE in America is supposed to be for the LAND OF THE FREE!

My Life is a slow paced moving one and at 70 even slower than ever before. Why, some may say, well, I am not Mr. Popular, or Mr. Comedy, or Mr. Music or Mr. Know it all. I am not Mr. Handsome or pretty either. Years ago I wrote a short story and called it An Ordinary Man thats me. Someone who plows through each day at a steady pace, takes care of just what I need to and doesn’t interfear or bother anyone else. I gave up on trying to fit in all the time. I don’t care what anyone thinks of me anymore, I am 70 now, I did my life and did it decently.

I started slowly as a kid and was not really liked or wanted even by my own mother. I have attention deficiet disorder and hyperactivity and it always got me in trouble. I didn’t like school like other kids at 5 years old and I fought the system and wanted to do my own things always. By, my 10th, birthday, I was such a bother and pain in the ass, my mother signed me away to The State and had me put away for two years. I survived that too in my own way. While put away I saw drugs used for the first time, I saw a suicide happen, and saw fights like never before. I argued with the State and Social Workers for the two years and always avoided physical violence. At least the best I could, for my own safety.

By the time I returned home, The house had all new furniture and carpets. My living was arranged, in such a way I was on my own mostly and got shafted by my elder brother into caring for our younger siblings as our parents worked. I had a step-father who was physically abusive to me and a younger brother too. My elder brother escaped into sports and still says to this day that is his excuse for abandoning the family. It is all kinda sad in many ways.

By the time I left High School, I had, exactly one girlfriend who I drifted from easily. I had a handful of friends was all, and I was basically on my own. The High School, Suspended me for something I did, and they wanted my parents to come in to get me back. My Parents refused, so I was told by my step-father, get a job or get out of the house, pay my way. I did for a few years. But by the time the job went under, I still had to move out. He refused to pay for a kid not in school anymore. I moved in to the YMCA in town for a while, about two or three years. Doing odd jobs and jumping from Factory to Factory which I hated.

I surrendered one day and joined the Army and I hated that too and was given a Trainee Discharge, under Honorable conditions. Army life was not for me and I knew it and so did The Army Drill Sargent, who recommended it. I went back home to the YMCA basically and lived alone again, till I couldn’t find a way to survive. I wandered ito a U.S. Navy Recruiting Office one day and signed up and became a US Sailor for 12 years after being a National Guardsman for 3.5 or so. In the End I ended up serving my country for 16 years total. I grew up and matured while in the Navy mostly, and even married and had two daughters. I lost them, when my first wife divorced me. But, life went on anyway and they did grow up ok in their own way. For me, it was a lose, that was hard to overcome but I did do it. I moved on and fought, and ended up marrying a second time for 28 years and no more kids. The total of years I was married came out to 40 total between the two marriages, believe it or not. 12 for the first, 28 for the second. Not bad I say for a 70 year old man.

The Veteran’s Administration put me back to school in my late 30’s and I graduated from college with a Hospitality Degree, two Honor Societies and Awards in 1997. I won a Reward for the best Hospitality and Hotel Management Student and more. While the education was vital and helpful, it didn’t do much for my job prospects or the way I did my life. I lasted a few years running hotels until I couldn;t anymore due to my back injury from the Navy. My Honorable under Medical Conditions DD-214 was vital, I did something right for sure.

Life would move on for me, and in the end I can honestly say, I think I did ok. My second wife was a blessing in many ways, patient, understanding and guiding me. I loved her to pieces believe me. we had a beautiful home and a life of joy and laughter and love. I dealt with all she threw at me and vice versa I can honestly say. We rented rooms to many individuals over the 28 years together and made friends with many. We had friends all over the place, but, by the time my second wife, passed of cancer in 2021, we were always together and alone.The runs to the Doctors, tests, scans, chemo and radiation were killers and took our times away. Yet, we always had one another and I stayed with her always. 16 years, we fought her breast cancer and kept her going. Scans, doctors, Mayo clinic and more. Each day was run to the Medical Hospital first when she needed it. In the end the battle was a great one to keep her alive, as long as we did. I also suffered in the middle and ended up with lung cancer in 20213 an dhad a lobe and a third of my right lung removed, no chemo, no radiation, nothing I survived.

Then, one day it all came to an end suddenly. we were watching tv, in the evening when she suddenly slumped to one side. I propped her up with pillows and tried to keep her comfortable. Then I called an ambulance and away we went. The emergency Room was first. Then a few days later she came home again and seemed normal. We were watching tv and it was bedtime again, so I asked her to come to bed. She said no she was staying in the recliner and sleeping there. I couldn’t get her to move. So I went to bed alone.

At 3 am, I was awaken by banging on the walls. I got up and ran downstairs and there she was, in the half bathroom doorway on the floor and couldn’t get up. I examined her and got her to her feet and to a chair. Told her i was calling the ambulance again. She fought me over it and I had to call her daughter for help. The daughter called her mother’s sister, and the debate went on too long for my liking I called the damn ambulance and followed her to the Hospital. It was the beggining of the end folks. The hospital admitted her, did all testing and scans over the next few days, and held her. Then, they transferred her to a Rehab Facility and tried to rehab her. She would never come home again with me. From the Rehab Facility she was transferred to a Covalencent Home down the street from our home. Every Day I would get up and go see her and sit by her side as long as I could watching tv with her, feeding her and talking to her the best I could. It became a routine, Wake up, shower, shave, get dressed rush down for visiting hours and stay. I ate very little and tried to keep her company. we had covid at the time in the air and, many were not allowed to visit patients except immediate family.

So July of 2021, at the end of the month to be precise, July, 29th, 2021, I went to visit her like always. I walked in and she couldn’t feed herself anymore, her arm would not respond to going to her mouth she was frozen trying to eat. I fed her and she fell to sleep. I decided then and there to find out what was happening here. I was upset po one was feeding her or taking care of her anymore. I went to The Administrator’s office and asked why. The answer was they had too many patients and were understaffed. I then asked how long she had left on her medicare coverage. They said three days, and it would be 350.00 a day to care for her. I asked for Hospice to come in and evaluate her for home care and they did. The next day the equipment showed up at our home and, she was delivered at home on August 1, 2021.

I called in my sister and we took care of her the best we could. It would only be ten days. I had to sign a DNR for her, to be on hopsice and get help. I talked to my wife and she knew she was on a DNR. I went in and talked to her on August 8th and it would be the last time she talked. I kissed her forehead and told her I loved her dearly and to go ahead and join her parents, and rest peacefully. Her last words to me were she loved me too. She never spoke again to me. On August 10th, at 5;45 pm, she took her last breath and departed this planet. I miss her deeply thats for sure. My life changed forever more and I am humbled and sad when I think of her these days.

Never once in the 16 years we fought her cancer, did she complain, cry out in pain, or anything, She kept a positive outlook, and always helped, all she loved. I still remember the day I married her and what our vows were. we promised to love and cheerish one another and to learn and grow from one another, we did for 28 years. God bless her for all she did and all she was, she is well missed in many ways these days.

As to me these days, well, I am 70 now, I sold the home we had and everything in it with my sister’s help. I couldn’t stay there where my wife had passed, I couldn’t handle it emotionally. I ended up in a Condo in Massachuetts alone of course. These days I remind myself of our life together and think of the memories each day. I live alone in a 55 plus community, and stay by myself, afraid of getting involved with anyone. No I don’t date much, no, I am not chasing women around, for any reason. I still love women and alwys will, but, I have learned over time and my life, any relationship is a two way commitment and I can’t afford taking care of a woman constantly anymore. It’s nothing personal against women, it’s just a logical fact to me, from a finacial stand point, anyway. I am a Disabled Veteran, who lives off his disability and social security, and no woman wants a a man, my age anyway. When you reach 70, you learn, these things and accept it all and just try to enjoy what time you have left. So, I try to stay mentally active by writting poems, blogs and stories. I play pool once or twice a week, depending on moods and weather and such. I try to bowl when I can, for fun and even joined a Senior Bowling League for fun. Otherwise it is a date or dinner here and there, now and then, and I walk alot, alone, these days. I sometimes stop and wonder, did I do right by moving to a 55 plus community or not. I do not participate in Community Events here. I can’t take large crowds, I shy from them, most people find me noisey and loud at times because I laugh. And some even have told me to tone it down so others can think to play games. So I did, I curtailed any appearances at public events, I don’t attend them now. I stay alone and talk to very few people, I find myself, just thinking and hoping I go out in my sleep. But, I am still here so, I go on the best I can. That is where I am now, alone and writting this blog. God Bless, to All, time shall tell what is next for me.

I have like all, lived through stages of life. Childhood, Teenage years, leading to first loves. First relationships and on of course. I also survived dropping out of High School, and wnet back to get my GED. Then Joined the Military, and became a husband, a father of two, and went through a divorce I didn’t want. I survived that and military life for 16 years, and became disabled asa Veteran. The VEterans’ administration put me back to schooling, and I got a Associates Degree in Hotel Management at 41 years old. Yet the Disability stopped me from working. I married a second time and between that and my first marriage I was married 40 out of the 70 years I have been alive. Not bad if you ask me. My second wife passed in 2021 and I am still here.
Now i have entered the closing years i believe. My bodt aches, the pains ramain and i carry on the best I can. The final question still remains for me, how much longer can my life be. A great question no one can answer abouth themselves for sure. So, I try to carry-on the best I can, laugh when I can, and enjoy what I can do. The slow coasting to an end, will happen I know, so all I can do is let it. we all face the ending at some point, I know, I have outlived my parents who died respectfully at 55 and 59. My Grand Fathers passed, at 74 and 72. I am now 70, I await what God and Destiny and Fate have in store is all, and that my friends, is all a man, can do.

May 3rd, 2026, has arrived. As we head into the end of spring and beggining of summer for 2026, I believe Americans need to realize some facts. Number one- We elected the wrong man to the Presidency for a second a term, and he choose a worse person for his Vice President too. Secondly, the American Economy is now shit, prices rise daily on all items from gasoline to food to clothing. Thirdly, Health Insurance is now, too costly for the average American to Afford and needs to be brought down. 4) Forthly, We do not belong in a war with Iran in anyway. We are not the world’s police force folks, our people are dying and the Strait of Hormus is not gonna get opened by what is being done. Sadly, Trump is not smart enough politically or otherwise to win in this case. We can not maintain our military posture halfway around the world and win.

We need Health Care help for Americans, We need Social Policies to save our own people. We need jobs, we need lower prices on everything, we need help. Americans made a bad choice for President and now we must deal with it properly. The Mid-Terms must balance the power in the House and The Senate now. That will have to be the first major change needed. Second Trump must be held to to the War Powers Act and he must turn to Congress if he goes any further we are over the 60 day limit now. Trump is breaking U.S. Policies and laws in all ways. We should have known this when he was reelected. Americans were foolosh enough to run from electing a female President now twice, instead it choose to elect a 34 times convicted felon, a con man, a suspected pedophile, why? Where are the rest of the Epstein files too?

Let me say this as plain as I can, America is not the world’s defender or babysitter. We can not continue to support and defend the world when we can no longer take care of our own at home here. We have homelessness, hunger, joblessness, Veterans begging for help, jobs lost and losing more and an Economy thats in the trash, look at the numbers. Gas prices are topping 5 dollars a gallon soon or more across the country. Food prices climb daily, health care prices are high and getting worse. Folks if we can not get our own country in order and fix our own economy, and health care and help our own domestically, we can not and should not be spending BIllions and Billions on fighting a war elsewhere. we have children who need medical help, Seniors and Veterans who need help here at home. if your an American and don’t realize what I am saying here, then you are blind to what is really happening, to Amercia these days.

We need to help our own before we babysit and correct the world. We have no business, fighting Iran on our own, no business correcting Ukraine and Russia or listening to Israel. There comes a time Americans when we must pull back and tell these countries, they must fight their own wars and we must defend and help our own. We are falling in social and political status in the world and slowly but surely under Trump, becoming a third world nation and not maintaining our Republic and Democracy well, at all at home. here.

Now, let me say this, and I say it with pride as an American Veteran who served his country for 16 years, we need to help our own first. The American Military does not belong spread out, and fighting wars we have no business in at all. Iran having Nukes or not, is an important issue yes, but, it should also be a concern for all nations, and all countries around the globe. The Strait being closed is an issue not just for Americans but for the world, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Greece and more should all be working and fighting to open the Strait. The fact they are not tells us they are weak or scared to do so. We as Americans are not the world’s police force folks and nor should we be. Why are we doing this and why has Congress not curtailed and stopped Trump? Sadly, it is based in a major mistake made by the American people. Simply put, we should never again allow one political party to control the House, The Senate and White House at one time. We should be embarrassed and humiliated that The King Of The United Kingdom had to come to America to remind Congress that no leader or King is without checks and balances, or beyond control. He reminded Americans that the Magna Carta was written to prevent a Leader from starting wars on their own. Checks and balances were built in for a reason folks, wake up, it’s time Congress and the American People put in use the checks and balances they were given now.

Let me conclude this in this way folks. There is no shame or humiliation in admitting Americans made a mistake in Electing Donald J. Trump President! There is no shame in saying enough either, or stopping what he is doing to us and the world. There is shame in not admitting the mistake, covering it up or ignoring it. There is shame in allowing one man, the power to destroy what it took America 250 years to establish, and enjoy. The Free Press, Freedom of Speech, The Civil Rights Acts, the power of the People to Vote, All vital in America folks. The killing of the 1965 Voting Act is a serious problem and infringement on the Rights of the People of America no matter the color or race they are a part of. Yet, here it happened and the Supreme Court Trump put in place killed it, why? It worked just fine from 1965 till 2026, so why kill it? Simply put Trump wanted it gone is all and sadly they followed him and his wishes. Don’t you get it folks, Trump is hiding his crimes, stealing from America left and right and getting away with it. Why? Simple folks you allow him to do these things, you did it it, you voted him President, you voted the House and Senate, all one party. Now in the end Americans and our country are in serious trouble and no one is acting to stop him yet. How Far will Americans allow this to continue?

I was told when I was young, to always be careful and think before doing, and then get it done! Dad, was a machinist and a fisherman and musician, mom was a Nurse life would go right, so we were warned to be able to make adjustments as we go. It is a lesson, I think all learned as we grew up.

We adjust to losing friends, lovers and yes spouses. we adjust to losing parents and relatives too. Jobs come and go and we all know, not every job is for us. we make our money, we take our loses, we enjoy our victories and we go on. Moms and Dads, build into each of us, the drive to survive, and the knowledge to do so. And as kids we do not realize it until it hits us in later life. The realization that they were right when they taught us, hard work, dedication, loyality and determination. The realization when they taught us, don’t be too greedy, don’t treat others with disrespect, be kind, but, be careful. It’s amazing, the things, that are passed on from one generation to the next in families.

We carry forward traits, talents,patienance, determination. We carry forward the ability to learn and grow and we pass it on to our children too. What no one can teach, although we try to, is how to overcome grief. How long does it take to do so? That is not handed down or found in any text book or podcast or blog. That is a feeling of knowing for yourself, inside, how long to grieve for the ones you have lost. Each of us do it in different ways. Some walk alone forever once a spouse is lost. Some, move on overa period of time and let the memories stay, but the connection evaporates, and we determine it is time. It is a process I know, I have lived it now for the past 5 years come August of 2026. Yet, I also know as i was recently told, it is one thing to survive and be a live, it is another thing to be alive and actually live fully, and enjoy life. many see us daily, he ones who have taken the loses, and just scan right by and go, oh they will be ok. And thats fine in such a fast moving world and society that we live in. Few slow down enough to realize, they are leavingbehind the ones who took the biggest loses. And until we the ones, who suffered said loses, wake up and go, wait a minute, I can change this, and be happier, we don’t do it, do we?

An old saying comes to mind as I write this, time heals all wounds. It heals illnesses, that can be healed, broken bones, broken relationships if you try and make it so. Time also eases the pain of loses folks, and the grieving will always be a part of me, yes, but, I also know, no two people are the same and the world goes on. As my deceased wife who passed in 2021, told her daughter regarding me, after she died, ” He will be fine, fo rhe is a realist, he knows what he has to do to continue on and will do so at his own pace!” I believe fully she was right, she knew, she knew me well enough, she knew how I thought, how I react and that I would grieve her, but she also knew there would come a time, when the loneliness, would be too much, and I would have to move on to live more. She was wise, she was loyal, she was kind and she was pure smart. I miss her counsole, I miss her guidance, I miss her wisdom, and I miss her love and kindness. I am now without it all, and have learned such a relationship, is not easy to find in todays world.

So I do what every other person who is widowed does, I struggle through day by day. I take care of myself the best I can. I try to find what I like to do and do it, for we are only here for so long. I read when I want, I write when I want, I walk when I want. I play games when I want, and I go for drives when I want. Each day is a challenge to wake up to, what pills must I take, what Doctors must I see, what can I find to do, to make me busy and happy? It is all a challenge as we age is it not? What makes it a harder challenge, is when you lose the one you were doing it with. Then you begin to fly in circles, that can turn into a downward spiral if not careful. So, you have to come to a time when you realize, I have to climb up out of the despair and grief, I am still here and alive. That is where i find myself folks, looking for that magical connection, that one thing or more, that will make me want to live again, in happiness. Is it out there for me, I do not know, but like one person told me, if I don’t look and be open to finding it, it won’t just find me. So, I try to stay open, I try to laugh, I try to talk, I try to interact. I amnot good at it of course, I spent 28 years with the same woman, married and happy. We fall into patterns of life we know, and when we lose out spouse, we try to keep the direction we were in, but like a bird with abroken wing we falter some, and learn to slow down and not run. I am not looking to run again at 70, but I want to briskly walk on, and find that one woman who can walk with me, laugh with me, converse with me, and enjoy life again with. Is it asking too much at 70? I don’t know, but I will be damned, if I won’t at least stay open enough to try!

Saturday evening has arrived on March 21st, of 2026. and like usual I am home alone, and nothing to do, and no one to talk to, except myself, lol. I knew when my wife died in August of 2021, my life was going to be over in many ways. I just didn’t know, how much so that would be.

I do not drink so I do not go to bars or taverns. I do not smoke or do drugs, so, I just do me each day. What does my normal day look like some may ask, well, here it is. I awaken each day between 4 and 5 am. I have coffee and move my broken arm in circles and try to loosen it up. I get dressed by 7 am if I can and take all my medications, I need to take.

By, 8 am I am eating breakfast and watching the news on CNN. Then I head to my laptop and either write a blog like this, or look things up. Then it is on to TV and puzzles, and maybe reading. I do my shopping as needed, my laundry as needed and I clean my condo, which I call my 956 Square Foot cell, in a community of such.

I check for Doctor appointments daily, I look and see if I need to shop. Otherwise the day is then filled with watching the news, playing video games, and walking. Dead silence greets me daily, without a partner to talk to. I am now used to it since my wife passed from cancer in August of 2021. Boredom comes fast when you live this way, and I will get in my recliner, start to watch tv and pass out for an hour or two. Wake up, eat and then if I feel well, walk for a while outside, alone, of course.

Now some have said they are worried about me, I am not worried. I have no fear, of what loneliness can do to me, for I am 70 and on the downside of life. On Mondays I play pool, on Wednesdays I play Dominos if I can. I used to Bowl on Wednesdays and Fridays, until I broke my right arm, in Febuary. I try hard to avoid people the best I can, for I do not like answering questions and I try not to ask any either. I know myself well enough that I check myself before I open my mouth about anything or anyone, I do not want anything coming back at me .

As I said before, and I shall say again, I am not a social butterfly of any sort. I avoid crowds or events. I am not Mr. Handsome that the ladies like either. I am not Mr. Comical and Witty either. I am just me and many women, don’t even notice me. I know that. I have no chance at finding anyone to spend time with in anyway, especially, anyone, of the opposite sex. So, I know to walk away all the time and not try to say a thing. I never learned to flirt and even if I knew how, at 70, it would get me, no where, and I know it.

I tried dating apps and surrendered to them, because they just don’t work. also, most who would answer me, want something from me, like money or me to do work for them or something along those lines. Not for me at all. I do not want a woman’s money, I have my own, I do not want a woman’s belonging or to abuse them. So knowing all of that myself, I avoid any involvement at all. Now thats honest, and the truth of my life these days.

I may write poetry or stories or blogs if inclined to do so and the mood hits me. Otherwise it is stay home alone, watch tv, play video games and walk, when weather permits and my health permits. No woman wants a 70 year old man, it’s just a fact of life, they want younger men. I know it and so do they, lol.

I moved into a 55 plus community four years ago as of 22nd of March 2026. I was looking forward to meeting people and having fun in my older days. Yet, DWCL, where I live, not only discorouged me, and I lost any purpose I had and fell into decline and depression here. I tried participating in events and happenings here, and found myself nervous, scared, and not fitting in and then, cast aside by some, with their words. I don’t handle rejection well, so all you have to do is tell me once and I leave permanetly. I don’t care, I know, when I am not wanted.

I accept myself and the fact I am not a very popular person and I know it. I live with it and I deal with it daily. I see people when I walk and say hi and bye basically, have very few conversations with anyone and move on. I am intelligent enough to sense when I am not wanted, and smart enough to not return when that is so. I started life alone and I am guessin, I shall end it that way, too. It’s not a big deal, to me, anymore.

I did it all in my life as far as I am concerned. I survived childhood and my teenage years. I survived military life for 16 years too, serving my country. I survived two marriages one 12 years and one 28. I have two daughters and four grandkids as far as I know and see none ever. So I am used to being alone. I will never be a burden or pain in the ass to anyone, I refuse to be so. I don’t ask anyone to help me and I would never do so. I am alone and used to it. This is not a plea for help, or for someone to pay attention to me, it is just the facts.

I am proud of who I am and smart enough to understand I can indeed stand alone and be fine. As my years move on and I age, I am determined to live them out alone. Why, because people take, they use, they abuse, they insult and have no care about whom they hurt or how. And for me I don’t need it, I have had enough pain and suffering in my life as it is, I don’t need anymore. I hope that makes sense, to anyone reading this. Look, life is great if you have someone to share it with, engage with, and enjoy it with. I get it, I do, but for me there is no one, so I go on alone. I don’t want to be matched up, hooked up or setup either. My relationships in my life, with women, I can count on one hand. The biggest, were the two marriages. One I met in the service, and the second I asked to dance and, between the two I got 40 years total, I would never trade in, for anything.

When I was a boy, I was told , I would never amount to anything. I was told I was a loser and failure. truth is I wasn’t, I suffered from Attention Deficiet Disorder and Hyper-Activity. No one knew what they were in the 1960s or how to handle a child with them. I overcame anyway. I overcame the physical violence from my step-father, the anger from my mother and my elder brother too. I went thru it all and came out the otherside. I went on to Military Life, to Two Marriages, to Getting a college Degree at 40 years old. I earned membership in Two Honor Societies- Alpha Beat Gamma and Phi Thetta Kappa. So, I did fine on my own. I ran Hotels and Resturants also. And in the end when I couldn’t work anymore due to six herniated discs in my spine, I took care of my second wife and home and hospiced her till she passed. That folks is how life goes sometimes.

Now I am 70 years old, and have lived in this 55 plus community for 4 years. Others find it a fun place to be and they have fun. For me it is not that way. I look at it, as a return to my childhood days, when I lived in the Projects in Connecticut. For me like i said, it is a 956 Square Foot cell, in a prison yard enviroment. Sounds extreme does it? Well it is how I feel about it all. For me, it is like building a puzzle in life, all is great, as long as you have all the right pieces and can finish it. But, if you have been building one all your life, and you get near the end and get a feeling a piece is missing what do you do? You keep searching till you find it and plug it in. Thats the point I am at these days. I find myself surrendering to the facts and the times, I live in and with, is all. Best to be honest with myself, is all.

I face each day the same, and hear people say, they want me to live a life, I tell them I am surviving, and fine. It is what I know to do is all, survive and keep going, till my mission whatever it is on this plane of existence is done and I am recalled, to, from whence I have come in the beggining. The cycle must be completed and the mission completed, by me, even if I do not know what it is, for it is not my choice but the choice of the good lord who puts us here.

March 20th, 2026, the day starts early for me once more. I awaken from pain, in my right broken arm again. Since I broke it back in Febuary, sleep has been a problem. No position is comfortable for me, and my sleeping only goes at best 6 hours a nite at worse 3 or four. Yet, life goes on, and I do the best I can with it.

Physical Theraphy helps for a day, until it tightens backup again, over night and the next day is a painful one. Then it will start to release a bit overtime, unless i move it the wrong way by accident of course. Stretching, when I awaken is not good for me, for the arm will pop on me and the pain begins, and each time I do it on auto-pilot so to say, the pain lasts for a good 30 to 45 minutes before it starts to recede. So careful is indeed what one has to be. Very gingerly, is how I use the arm. I played pool with it now twice, the first time was fine, the second well it became sore on me and I had to stop. But, I have few things I like to do, these days at 70 years old, one is pool, the second was bowling. So, I figured pool is light weight and I would be fine. The only thing I have going for me, is, I have been through pain before, that was worse than this, six herniated discs in my spine from my Navy time. I deal with that daily since the injury in January 1982. So, tolerating pain has become something, I learned to do.

Anyway, next subject. The world is going to hell in a handbasket under the current President. Everything is costing more and the violence and wars have now doubled, in the world. I can’t change it I know, no one can now, but, somehow, it must stop for us to survive.When it stops is no longer up to me or you, folks, how many Americans must die in Iran, before it does? Time will tell, won’t it?

I was up once more early at 4:30 am today in pain, As I tried to walk off some pain and stretch the arm some, I think back on life and wonder sometimes, how I got here. By here I mean how the hell did I ever get to 70 going on 71? I never thought I would go by 40 to be honest, it is just the type of life I have lived. I am actually, surprised I survived my childhood, the way things went, but, I did. There are many things people don’t see or know when they see you as an adult. They do not know if your parents were kind or mean, or violent or not. They can not see the emotional bruising you suffered for you never show it. They can not see, the torments of watching parents fight with one another all the time, or flying silverware and dishes that were thrown. They do not see or know of any physical violence that happened either to you as a child, why, because as you grow up, you learn to hide it and escape it, on your own. I know I did.

When you reach an age where you can run and hide in anyway you can and still survive you do so. Until then, you are locked in that cycle that seems endless you see. Then, one day you finally grow up enough to go no more, and get away from it all. The scars emotionally, physically and mentally never go away folks, we live with them and we hide them well. So never judge, a book by it’s cover or a person by their looks, For they can look like Marilyn Monroe or Rock Hudson, and be the biggest mess inside that you can never fathom. It’s a fact folks.

So to the parents out there raising a child today, some advice, be positive with them, do not hit them or physically abuse them, and don’t constantly put them down. You destroy their chances in life by your negativity, your physical abuse and the emotionaly damage you do. Don’t do it, please! Show your child love, respect them, listen to them, help them, teach them, and guide them. Force, Pressure,Physical Violence or Emotional and Mental Violence kills, don’t do it please.

Anyway, as I have grown older, I have written many blogs here and poems and stories, short and long too. My short stories are not great, yet they sit out there online, as do my poems and these blogs. I do not write to make money, or to get famous either, for I never will. I write as a process of getting out what I need, to say in a way, few can. It is more of a relief valve situation for me, and it helps me. in someways. And when I put them online, I hope in someway, it will help others also to read them. NO I am not a Doctor, or expert of any kind, but, it is more of a mental process and emotional relief valve for me. If by circumstance, it helps someone else to help understand themselves or the world, I am grateful, if not, I am fine with it too. Life is a mystery says the old song, they do not know how right they were, do they?

I had numerous experiences in my life, that made me who I am, like everyone else. Each of us, have unigue experiences that make us who we are each day, we live. Climates, seasons, locations all add in, and then it is in the end the people in our lives that make us who we are. Our Parents, Siblings, and Friends we grew up with. The places we lived, the times and era we lived in all add to our make up of who we really are. Then, on the other hand, some still grow up and old and are predijuced or they discriminate against others. I don’t. I learned long ago as a five year old boy color, race, creed, nationality, ethinicity, mean nothing when it comes down to getting along in life. For we all breathe, we all laugh, we all cry, we all experience pain and suffering and we all have our moments of joy too. The color of our skin means nothing, we all live the exact same way day by day. Yet people get blinded or get stupid because of differences, it is why wars are fought, why killings happen too. It’s how we handle ourselves in life that makes us who we really are, is it not?

I like writting, I like reading, I love music as I said. The arts have always been special, I do drawings also, but I suck at real drawing, I play around for fun. There are many things that make each of us different in many ways, but under it all, are we not all the same. we want respect, we want caring, we want sharing, we want happiness and we want to live in peace, do we not? Yes we do and we all know it too. The scariest part of life, is acually living it, among others. people tend to force their way of life upon you many times, and you get lost in it and try to accept it and fit in, but, it doesn’t always work out. So, we adjust, we try to change to fit into a society we live in, among others. Some fit better than most, some on the average just are fine and some are not fitting at all. IT’s human nature to protect yourself from what one percieves as harm coming. so we hide, we shy away, and we stay alone. That is life for some, and not all, and for those who go through it, it isn’t easy, we struggle and we do the best we can is all.

As Elvis said, Don’t be Cruel, while I agree with that idea and thought, I also know, I live by another saying, in a Song called The Hard Way Everytime, by Jim Croce. I grew up in a world of and a time of some of the greatest music ever produced on earth. My Musical preferences run from Jazz, to Motown, From Rock to Country to Folk and yes even classical music. The music makes us sway and enjoy. It makes us think back over times we had good and bad. Music my friends, keeps some of us alive and prevents our end. For others it is a noise in the background, but for me it is a heartbeat that keeps people like me going.

Let me close this blog today, by, talking about 55 plus communities and how they affect some. I entered this community as a 65 year old , widower, alone and on my own after 28 years of marriage and the loss of my wife to cancer. I figured ok, I will be among people in my age group and I would be fine. It doesn’t always work out that way folks, sometimes, it goes along a different path then we seek. I came in smiling and happy and open to make new friends, and take chances to find someone new to spend time with. No, I did not come seeking love or a companion either. I came thinking this is a good place to live and it will be nice. It is not always so, for sure. We are not all the same, we do not all react the same, no matter our age. we have difficulties getting along with others, we don’t like things said or heard or people talking about us behind our backs, either. Look, I live in this community, I mind my own business and I tend to stay a loner. Why, because people can be cruel, mean, vicious and uncaring. I don’t go there, folks, I tend to avoid involvements. I also tend to avoid large crowds, too. I am not a church goer, I am not an event attendee, I am a walker, a loner on purpose. Why, people can be cruel, I dont like crowds and I will not be the center of attention or a burden to anyone. Not the way I was raised and taught. Just me folks, not your fault, not my fault, just me being me. I grew up, being myself in a world of others who liked to follow. And my choices are my own of course. So, when you look at others an dthey don’t fit the pattern of people, you expect, don’t judge them, talk about them behind their backs, learn to accept them as they are, and let it be. Never force, just accept, you may find the best is ahead, yet!