956 Square Feet

When I was young, I would go to sleep and dream of things, that today I can not keep. I would dream of things happening around me, and the next day or week they would happen you see. Some were good and fun, some were bad and dumb, and some were of life and death, thank god I don’t see those still yet.

Premonitions some would say is great to have, unless you lived through some of them, then you would know it’s bad. Seeing the future is a bad thing, for you know what will happen, but can’t change it you see, and that alone can drive a person mad and very angry.

Yet that was many years gone by and today those visions are gone. Today, I sit alone, in a home and just try to get by. I used to have two of everything you see, two marriages, two daughters and lives times three. I was a runner as a kid, I would feel the air in my hair and run as fast as I could. To me the fresh air and breeze, felt so good.

The years have gone by now, and I am older and slower in many ways. I have lost some to a divorce, and then the love of my life passed you see, cancer took her from me.

Now I feel like a person in a gilded cage, it measures 956 square feet, it sits four stories in the air, but to me is just a like a jail cell, for all I care.

I stare at books and puzzles and computer screens, when I sleep I dont even dream. I miss my wife who passed, and find no one to share the present or future you see, for who wants an old man like me?

I have 956 square feet of space, silence is all it does embrace. A tv I can turn on you see, a computer to play with, an X-box for games, and in the end it all seems, the same.

956 square feet I find myself trapped in, in a strange place and know not where to begin or end. Yes people are 55 and up here you see, but, none can I date or know, because they all live here with me too.

There is no companionship, there is no love for me, there is no hanging out with others, not for me. I feel like I am lost, just floating along, waiting now for my ending song.

All I have is 956 square feet for me, miles to walk, and to breathe free. I know at one time I had so much more, I know all I have is my 956 square feet for sure.

I bother no one, although there are many, yes they all spent their pretty penny, to buy a home just like me, but, they all have somebody. Me I am alone you see, like a gilded bird who can’t be free, 956 square feet is all there is for me.

I know nothing of the place I live, town, the state, is strange to me. The silence abounds all around me.

At some point in time, I shall lose my mind and start talking to myself, like a bird on a swing in a gilded cage, who slowly dies ,away. The size of the cage means nothing you see, the silence is just deafening to me. You can have all the toys and puzzles and more, but the silence will get you of that I am sure.

Did I make a mistake, getting 956 square feet just for me, I am beggining to believe that is the case you see. I have no where to go, nothing to do, so I walk alone, and that is so true.

So my 956 square feet, is what I always return to, 956 square feet is what I do. I hide in it like a gilded cage, look out the widows and watch all go by, as I sit in my chair in silence, and cry.

I know not what to do you see, I am stuck like a gilded bird in a cage, it is not good to be in 956 square feet, for in the end my mind will give out you see, for I have no one to interact with, except me.

My mind shall go and I will start talking to the walls, people will pass by in the halls, but no one will know what happened to me, in my 956 square feet, don’t you see?