Life can be amazing, an adventure, an enjoyment, or it can be mundane, lonely, and make you wonder, what the hell your here for ! I never claimed to be apopular person and never was really, I had my difficulties as a kid, bullied in school, did not fit in in my younger days thats for sure. I had conflicts with my mother, my older brother, and of course my step-father. Some I overcame as I grew, like, my elder brother I ignored, my mother and I came to an understanding after I got old enough to investigate her some and figure out things. But each brought me new knowledge of them and the world I have to live in. It doesn’t matter what those moments were as you age, what does matter is what you make from them, as you move on.
I know I learned many things in life about it in general, love, respect, honesty, integerity, and pride come to mind. I also learned that relationships happen and they form over decency for one another. Shit, I have friends from when I was fourteen years old, friendships may fade some, but they never disappear as we move on. Families scatter and go their own ways, but, we still find a way to carry on don’t we?
I reflect many times in my life backon my experiences in it and the people that have left or passed I knew. The famous ones to the mundane and everday ones you walk by daily, each affect us differently. Some you admire because they are family and have departed for the love they gave you, the care they did do for you, and then others you remember for the good times, the laughing, the jokes, good or bad, the tears, the fears, the chances you took with them and more. It is amazing how much the human mind remembers as you age and how much it may tend to ignore or forget also. The painful times we tend to forget, the ones who got away that we loved, or the ones that have passed before us. Yet, The good Lord is the one guiding and directing and leading us to go on till, we can no more and we complete the missions we have been put here for !
Two seems a very important numbe rin my life and world. I had two marriages, two children and I have no idea how they happened. I never learned to flirt, or what to say to the female species. Yet, I wasmarried twice, have two children and find myself with four grandchildren who live 600 miles away from me. They do not know me, my own children were lost to me in my divorce from my first wife. And it was my second wife who encouraged me to go see them when she was alive. I did so of course as much as i could handle it, but, I am not rich and I really do not think like they do, that I owe them anything. I sometimes think they should stop and realize, the divorce from their mother, was not my fault number one, and number two I lost like they did, and more than I would admit or want to. The courts do not favor the male of the couple when divorce happens and the females are believed no matter what and protected, even when they lie. I know i suffered from it and still do today.
Yet, I went on to do things I never thought I could, I found a second wife, a second life and much more. The first marriage went 10 years and then two for the divorce, then the second marriage lasted me 28 years. So you might say, I did something right in it, and I wish it was still happening today, but, cancer took her from me. We all learn and adjust as we go along folks. experiences we had, lead us to make the decisions we do each day, we draw from the past to make the present work daily, never forget that. It is a lesson we all learn as we grow older, mature and find our way in the world we live in.
We can’t change somethings and others we have control over. Yet we learn and adapt to what we face as we go along, or if we do not, we suffer for not doing so. My life is like a roller coaster with it’s ups and downs, but, my second wife put a steadying hand on me and helped me through the rough times. She got me to go back to school, to graduate college, to stabilize and learn again. She encouraged me to learn, expand, become better, and at the sametime loved me. I miss her dearly and always will. As she knew and stated at one time, she told her own daughter, when she passes I would be fine because I am a realist. Fine I don’t know, but surviving I do, and I am so far and she has been gone since 2o21 and we just entered 2024.
Someone asked me, what my resolutions are for 2024. I stopped and thought for a moment then. I haven’t really made any, but, if I did it would be to talk to more people, get out more, and hopefully meet a woman who is intelligent, fun and wnats a companion. I miss that ion my life and I miss a smiling face to smile back at, someone to converse with and help, and who wants the same in return. So, my basic idea is to move on as I turn 68 soon and do the best I can to smile, laugh, talk, joke and interact with others, and be myself the best I can. No one is perfect, no one expects you to be, but, if we are honest, loyal, ourselves, and we care enough, we can at least have fun in 2024.
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