Good Morning all! It’s Feb. 18th, 2025. Damn cold outside folks, and I am wishing these days, that the warmer weather would rush in and save us. Yet I still live in Massachuetts here, and I have always been a Northeast Coast American, funny how that is huh?
Well, as a Widower, who lost his partner in crime lol, in August of 2021, I can honestly say I miss her more than anything in my life. we cried, we laughed, we danced, we cooked and we even talked about the books. We did what she loved for the years I was with her and never once did I complain, of anything.
When cancer appeared in her, I did it all with her. The Doctor Visits, the updates, the appointments, the Chemo and Radiation, and in the end the Immune therapy she choose. I would get up each day shave shower, get dressed and off to the hospital I would go to sit with her daily, talk to her and watch tv. Then when she went into a Rehab facility I did the same, day after day, staying with her. Even when she couldn’t talk anymore, couldn’t feed herself anymore, I was there to feed her the best I could and talk to her. And we suffered through the COVID years too.
One day, I went into the convalescence home, and found her trying to eat, by herself. Her arm could no longer bring the food to her mouth. she was like a statute, frozen and no one was there to feed her. I fed her, and she relaxed and fell asleep. I then turned around and walked down to the Administrator’s Office of the facility and knocked on the door. I asked the Administrator why my wife was not being fed. And she answered they had too many patients and were doing their best. I then asked the administrator how long my wife had left on her Medicare, she told me three days. I said ok, that’s enough, call Hospice I am taking her home. The next thing I got was the Administrator trying to convince me, to pay her 350 dollars a day, for my wife to be there. No Thank you, Hospice showed up and I set it up and she was home the following day, with me.
Ten days later, she finally passed in our home, comfortably with myself and my sister to help . We brought her family in to say goodbye to her and allowed them to visit her. The final time they came was within a week of her passing. As they visited, my sister and I stood in the next room, and heard it all. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing at first, and when I did, I just shook my head. I had heard my wife’s sister and my wife’s daughter, sitting there discussing the items they wanted when she died. I want that vase, I want that item there, I want the jewels I gave her as presents back, etc. I couldn’t believe it. I was in shock and so was my sister. Yet, I didn’t toss em out or bother to try, I knew it would affect my wife if I did, I knew she could still hear them, and would know.
When she passed, on August 10th, 2021 in the late afternoon hours, I called her daughter to tell her and she told me, don’t call the Hospice People till I get there and if you do, don’t let them take her away until I get there. I agreed. The daughter showed up before the Hearst for the body and she stood over her mother, thanking her for all she had done for her and said goodbye. when they took my wife away I could not watch it, I stepped outside and walked around looking the other way. I cried to myself and knew I would be hurting for a long time.
When we buried my wife, it was August 20th, 2021. I stood there in a black suit and tie and cried, as my world crumbled for me. I had no one left and I knew it. I was lost and had no idea what I should do next. I knew I could not keep the home we had shared for 28 years, it had to be cleaned out and all sold. So, I started working on that when alone and broke down and called my sister back for help. I also called a Real Estate Agent to put the home up for sale. It would take my sister and I and her boyfriend from August to December to clean the home out, having Estate Sales.
Near the end as we were clearing the home out I recieved a text on my phone from my wife’s daughter. I was shocked. It contained a list of items she wanted, and my wife’s sister wanted now that my wife was gone. It listed games, books, glass items, tables, chairs and jewels. and much more. I couldn’t believe it, but there it was on my phone in text messages. as we cleared the house I set aside all they listed and more. On the final day of clearing the house out, we set all of it in the driveway for the daughter to pick up. She arrived with a SUV and a trailer to carry it all. I didn’t want to see or talk to her, so my sister’s boyfriend did it. She still wanted in the house and I refused.
During the Estate Sales, we sent the daughter a message and told her not to show up for the sales, and to keep her children away also. Well she didn’t listen. She sent her 16 year old daughter in, with a bag full of photographs of her mother and I. The 16 year old wandered into the garage as the sale was happening, holding the bag and looking for me. When, someone told me I rushed to her and comforted her and accepted the photographs and she wanted in the house, so I allowed it. My sister saw her and told her she was not supposed to be there. The child stayed and I walked with her as she pointed out things she wanted of her grandmothers. I helped her box them up, and when she was ready I carried them to her car, and put them in her backseat. I hugged her and told her to take care of herself and to drive carefully on the way home.
The child drove home, and told her mother I kicked her out of our house. She lied and of course the mother believed it. All of a sudden my sister and I were evil people, to my wife’s daughter and her kids. The child lied and there would be no changing my wife’s daughter’s mind. After almost 30 years, and my wife’s death, and all I had been through, with the daughter and her children and all the money I gave for their educations, I was cast out as an evil man who threw her daughter out. No questions asked of course. just, bye.
I took the daughter off of my cell phone, blocked her phone number and her text, after numerous rants on my cell phone. I have not talked to the daughter or my wife’s grandchildren since. The sad part is, it is all based on a 16 year old girl’s lie. But, I can’t change it, so I live alone and mind my own is all I do. Am I wrong for doing so? I don’t think so, and it was far too emotional for me to experience and live through. So, I walked away and never turned back.
If my wife had seen it and heard it all, she would have been one pissed off woman. I thank God she didn’t see it or hear it. I loved my wife more then anything in the world, the disappointment she would have had over it all would have killed her, before her cancer. I miss her terribly and always will, I have pictures of her and my life time together in my home, along side the pictures of the parents that raised me also. I have the memories of the days of laughter, the days of walking, the days of dancing and romancing. I have the memories of our musicals we shared at Good Speed, the concerts we attended at Tangle Wood, and more. These I keep close to my heart forever more. I pray each day and night my wife is resting peacefully, and that she never learns of what happened once she passed. I hope to see her again, when I pass and get buried with her.
As time goes by, the memories remain. They make me smile at times and cry at times, but they keep me going. I know my wife would want me to carry on the best I can and for me to be happy again. I search for that happiness, and hope I can find it once more. I know I am old now, at 69, and as we age it is hard to find a new partner in crime, for companionship and more. I shall just do the best I can, and hold the memories dearly forever.
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