Dating After 60: Realities and Hurdles for Widows and Widowers

March 31st, 2025 is here folks and going by quickly for me. The wetaher has not been that great as we all know who live in Westborough, Mass here. While it got warmer today, the overcast and rain mix, doesn’t disappear. I guess it iosa part of living in New England as i know from living and being raised in Connecticut.

Anyway, I have sometime before i have to go out tonight to play Billards, with my neighbors here tonight. So I wanted to discuss what I have found out about the dating world for people in my age range of 60 and up, for i am at 69 now. when I moved here in 2022, I was 65, and a sudden widower.

One problem is the age range i am in and the fact that not many my age of the opposite gender are really interested in dating anyone. The reasons are many I gather and have heard. 1) Being taken for money, 2) The sex on the first date syndrome so to say. 3) The availability of the opposite gender, period. 4) There are many more widows than widowers for sure. 5) Many fears come up for both genders, the chance of being taken for property, money or being abused and used. 6) Both genders do not want to be the pocket book for the other for sure in today’s economy it is tight and expensive and getting worse. 7) Being that I am not a drinker of partier so to say, I do not go to Bars, or Taverns, it is a waste of money and time, because that is not where one would normally meet someone in my age range. 8) There are few places for senior citizens to really go to, to meet the opposite gender, in this town I live in. 9) The Westborough Senior Center in town, is a poor place to hang out and not very enjoyable for anyone. It is a sad place, that has very little. 10) Westborough it seems is made up of banks, churches, bars and taverns and stores, resturants. 11) While there are pleanty of Bars/ Taverns in town, they are not geared to the elderly crowd or senior citizens. 12) Dating apps, I have investigated them, tried them, and they cost money, and do not work, again, many fake profiles and hucksters and people trying to take others for money. Attitudes are very guarded and protective among seniors and others these days. Trust has become an issue and no one will really takea chance these days. Security and self-protection is vital. And no I don’t blame anyone for it, it is now a part of American Society and it’s culture these days.

The dating scene is rough, it’s tough, people are choosey, and careful. Do I blame them, no I am the same. No one wants to lose what they have and have earned over time. The rich of course are better off and may take more chances in the dating world, but in the end even they know better these days. So, what does a Senior Citizen do, to survive and find comapny or companionship? Some Volunteer for organizations in town, which I get, it is being civic minded and helpful. Some go to The Senior Center here and in nearby towns. There is nothing geared to Seniors really here. Some walk the malls for exercise and to keep healthy. There is one book store in town and some will hang at the Cafe there, and talk to friends. Ever try to talk to complete strangers, to get to know them? I know for me, and I am a man, I have the same fears, most women have, rejection is the big one. We lose our confidence as we age, our looks go down, our health goes down, etc. So what do you do, if all I am saying is true? Well, I know what I do, I stay to myself, save my money, mind my own business, venture out very seldom and know, that chance of me finding someone to share life with is very slim. yet there is not much one can do is there folks? This is what happens to people who are widows or widowers in America and in Massachuetts here.

The hardest thing for anyone who was married for a long period of time to overcome, is the fact that, we are stuck in our ways, and we have no idea anymore, of how to approach someone we may be interested in. We forgot how to flirt! The dating scene is different, and we are totally out of practice. So, we stumble, we bumble and we fail. We are not sure of anything anymore for we are not young. So, if you are like me, you try things, places, apps and then finally go, ok, I did what I could. I guess, I am destined to be alone till my time comes, and surrender. Thats the current life, many of us who are senior find ourselves in, these days.