As we age, we face certain things, eventually, that we have no choice in. Loses, like the death of a loved one, not having the money to live like we want. Or other items, of which there are many. The biggest is probably the health issue, physically and mentally. Our bodies and minds slowly go down hill folks and we all know it, and we resist it of course and fight back. Our body shows it’s signs by limiting what we do, not allowing the same movements it once did before. Mentally we lose track of time, appointments, and people and we start to isolate, due to those things. We also start to isolate out of fear, a tiredness of being downplayed, denied, or told we are not wanted. So we isolate, because we grow to believe we are not wanted or needed anymore, so we stop participating in life.
A lesson for many to learn also as we age is to try to keep the mind healthy and strong. So we read, we write, we talk to who we do like no matter how few they may be. I have been down this road now for a while. I avoid people, I can’t handle. I don’t like constant put downs, ribbing and picked on, and I don’t think anyone does. we tend to put up with it to fit in, because most do it. But after a while it wears on a person. So as it did on me, I stopped participating and disappeared from public life basically. Even when I go walking nowadays I avoid people, I don’t talk to them. Cuelity is a big part of american society these days. Our society has indeed gone from a we,we, we society, to a me, me, me society and screw anyone else, I got my piece and thats it, and not caring what happens to someone else.
I guess I was brought up in a different world than most. I grew up with two agry parents, who beat us kids to get us inline, as they said. It wa stheir way of correcting and controlling the five of us. Violence became a daily thing for me, when I was young. If I had a problem in school, my parents stopped going in to talk to teachers. I was suspended in high school in my jumnior year. When that happened, high school was not for me anymore, I was sent to work to pay my own way. It would take a year of working till I finally, said enough and gota GED diploma. when I did I jumped into the military services to get away from home.
What the services did was find the faults I had and problems I had and point me in the right direction. I was always a problem child so to say, but what do you expect when your are born with hyperactivity, attention deficiet disorder. I Overcame both with out drugs. I also have PTSD from childhood beatings and military life now. Yet I persisted and am still alive. While the military gave me discipline and direction, and an education, it also led me to a slower life,
I slowed down and got myself under control and lasted 16 years in the military. I was married had two of everything, including daughters. Amazingly, it worked for a 12 year marriage, that ended in divorced as my military career went down. 6 herniated discs in my spine and bam I wa sout of the military. I had to find my way once more.
I found a way and a woman I loved for 28 years that I married. we shared our lives, our love and we grew together as we said we would in our wedding vows. I had 28 years of a marriage I would never give one minute up of. Now, I am alone again, I lost the woman, I loved dearly to cancer. It was rough in more ways than one.
Like I said, we all face things we can not avoid in life, lose of jobs, friends, family, loved ones. How do we overcome and carry-on is always the answer, is it not? In my case I tried hard to just hang on and reset each time. The last reset after my wife passed was started at 65 years old for me. I have come to the conclusion there will be no more relationships for me. I gave up searching for a woman to be with. Simply put the effort seems to be immpossible, so many things come into play. The dating scene in this day and age is crazy. Dating apps on the internet are not worth paying for. I came to the conclusion, I would no longer pursue a relationship with any woman. I am old, set in my ways, not pretty or handsome, and at times crnky, and cantankerous. LOL! Women look, and probe slightly, and i shut them down fast and walk away. I will not impose myself on a woman, or be a burden to anyone! if I do something and try to participate in an event where ilive and i feel uncomfortable or unwated, I leave. I can’t handle large crowds anymore, I get antsy, I get hyper, I get distracted. some have old me to join in more, my response is always no thank you. I do small groups, yes, I play billards on monday nights, go bowling with a small group here, and do a senior bowling league once a week now.
Destiny, fate, who knows for sure folks. I just know the older I get the more I avoid people. Americans are cruel, mean spirited it seems, due to the climate we live in socially. The American society is slipping away from we, we, we to me, me, me and screw you. There is no doubt in my mind for sure these days. People deported off our streets without due process, arguements over how we protect our borders. Attacks on Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. Confrontations over tarriffs with over countries, our withdrawal from the world as a whole is sad. We used to be the protector, the defender, the leader of the world. Now, we are looked upon as a failure in world politics. Our neighbors are mad at us, our allies are mad at us, and in the end, our own President doesn’t care. What is to become of America’s future or mine well, I do not know. I am 69 years old now, I have lived through presidents since Eisenhowser, thru Kennedy, Johnson, and all in between to Trump for a second term. Sadly, I have never seen anything like what is happening today in our world. Like I said, things will happen, time will move on and eventuality take place, we can’t change it all, but, if americans, look, listen and learn they can change the direction we are heading to. yet, we are blinded by certain things, predijuce discrimination, fears and more. It is a direct reflection of the society we live in, when you run into people like me.
Macattack56's Blog 
Yes, I agree. We do live in a perfect society. It was imperfect in the past, is imperfect in the present, and will be imperfect in the future. Yet, it is not the circumstances that need make us who we are, but it is our reactions and attitude towards them. It is the inner strength that come from an outward source that directs us, keeps us, and gives us hope, meaning, purpose and a future (and a present) no matter what has happened in the past or what is happening in the present. Without this source, we fail in so many more ways than we were created to be. It is better to ponder the good memories, and forget the bad ones. When the bad ones come into my mind, I push them aside. As you mentioned, we have limited time left, so why not make the best of it instead of wallow in our self-pity, our regrets, and such things. We must make the best of each day and get out of our ruts. Think about about others. Help others. Serve others. Learn about our creator and who he is and how he made us. Self absorption is always corrosive to our health. We are imperfect in our mind, our soul and our bodies. But, we don’t have to live that way. It is up to us. It is our choice. Every day is a new beginning. If we don’t have someone else in our lives, we will continue to fail. That someone is greater than us; knows more than us; is wiser than us; loves us and is always there for us through the bad times and in the good times. Without that someone, life, our lives, will be nothing more than just living out our days in negatives ways on this imperfect earth. We must take responsibility for our choices. Blaming others, and their imperfections, will do us no good. We have to take control…or, as others have said, give control to our creator. He is the way, the truth and the life. He is the light of our souls if we would only let him in and follow his perfect ways in our imperfect ways. He is always there. We got to get to know him better.
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