As we go through life, we have our ups and downs, our choices we make, make our lives go round so to say.
We all make mistakes and I have made more than a few in my life. I have to admit, not every decision I made in my 69 years was correct and i don’t think anyone else, my age or around my age has either.
I can list the mistakes I made in my lifetime, very easily. To do so is to sit back and review the years I have lived through, and the decisions that made me who I am today.
The first decision I regret, is not bein able to slow down and think things out before acting. I couldn’t change that fact as I grew up because I suffered from and still do today, Hyper-Activity and Attention Deficiet Disorder. In the 1960’s they called it emotionally damaged. They had no idea what was wrong till many years later.
The second decision I regret is, never being close to or accepted my parents, whom I argued and fought with all my childhood.
The third decision was instea dof fighting back when beaten upon by the parents I had an dmy older sibling I let it happen, until I finally, left.
Now, decisions and mistakes are many in life my friends, and i must admit I had my share. I made a big mistake when I dropped out of High School in my Junior year. It put me in a postion, of no diploma and having to go to work for a living. My parenst demanded I work,to pay my way if I was not in school. I did get a GED Diploma the following year.
I regret not speaking up to a girl I knew and telling her how I felt, about the sametime in my life. She went on to get married and i went on to the service. I never pursued any girls really in my life, what I did was associate with them and let them decide. Sadly, I am still that wya today, and females believe if tyou do not approach or pursue them, your not interested. So I lose on on that one too.
Mistakes i made include the first Military experience i had when I joined the U.S. Army. It didn’t work out for me and i returned home after a Trainee Discharge due to my step-father’s health and more.
I survived it though and went on to the Army National Guard and then The U.S. Navy. In total I have 5 Honorable Discharges to my name. 16 total years in service which ended when I fell and fought to stay in the Navy, but was finally discharged under a Medical Under Honorable Discharge.
Some have asked if I madea mistake when I married my first wife. Not relaly folks, we were fine until, I was discharged from the Navy and the money dried up. we had two of everything for 10 years before we seperated, including two daughters. so no, it wa snot a mistake, but, the divorce was not my fault either so. Life went on.
When I found my second wife, I was lucky she saved me. I moved in with her, and got the VA to send me back to school. I graduated with an Associates Degree in Hotel Management witha 3.7 average. But working would not happen due to my back injuries even though I tried.
28 Years with my second wife was a blessing and I would never trade a second of it, for anything out there. I loved her dearly God Bless her soul. I lost her to breast cancer in 2021. I hospiced her at home in the end.
Once that was done, I found myself at 65 years old looking for a new life and needing help. My siser stepped in and gave me that and i thank her for it, everytime I get the chance.
I moved from the home I had, I soold it. I moved north to Massachuetts to be near my sister. I bought a condo in a 55 plus community. In my opinion while it is a nice condo, it is not really for a man like me, but I won’t sell and move, too much trouble to do so.
The move here is maybe the biggest mistake I made in my life. Why, simply put I don’t fit in and never will. I don’t play Bingo, or go to the Swimming Pool or attend events here. I don’t like crowds and I suffer from PTSD on top of all else I have medically.
For me, this is the loneliest I have ever been in my life. I find some people rude, some mean and indifferent here. I know I am not everyone’s cup of tea and no one is, so I try to keep to myself, mind my own is all. I don’t chase women so the widowers and divorcess here are safe from me. never pursued of chased women, not my thing. If i ende dup with a woman, it was the two I did, because they basically came after me.
In the end mistakes I have made, I live with and have no choice really. So these days I live in mostly silence and alone except for a few things I do. I play Billards with some folks on Monday evenings, on wdenesdays and Fridays I bowl some, and Wednesday evening will find me playing dominos. Otherwise I stay alone and talk to very few. I find, many don’t like my sense of humor, or they don’t like my personality, so alone i shall stay. I have neve rbeen a burden, or imposed on anyone i my life for any reason, I shall not start now, at 69, heading to 70 years old.
I am proud of my accomplishments, My marriages, my daughters, my grandchildren. I am proud of my time in Service too. I keep my Awards to myself, my Honor Societies too. My life isa simple one these days. Play Billards, Bowl, Dominos, walk some if capable, read, write my poetry and stories and blogs, build puzzles and watch TV and Movies. I ask no one for anything and never have in my life. I live day to day, and see my Doctors when needed an dtake my medications. It’sa simple life for sure, and I am guessing, the move here to this condo is the last one. As I told my sister, I shall die in this condo, it is where they shall find me. Just do me the favor of having e cremated an dburied with my second wife, all is prepared.
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