August is rolling to an end soon enough it seems. Already August 23rd, 2025 and weather is ok, outside at least and sun is out. Been over 4 years since my wife passed from cancer. Since then I have stayed alone and not dated much at all. I am also in a new state and place, since 2022, so trying to get used to it and things to do here is not easy. At 69, it’s harder than most things i have done in the past. I am set in my ways, and I don’t like somethings others do, and with my problems of PTSD and AD/HA, it makes it somewhat harder.
The older I get, the more touchy I get about large crowds also. Too many people and I have to leave, the stress levels rise and I can’t handle that many in one place. It’s funny, though cause I can do certain things and other things I just can’t handle these days.
Anyway, at least I do play Billards once a week, and bowl once a week at least. Not much else around here to do, besides drinking and taverns and bars. Not a drinker really, so, I don’t go there much, plus, too many people in those. Seems people still love to drink no matter what it cost them, these days.
Me I would rather walk, or read a book, or write. I like to cook now and then, but since it is just me now, not so much. I miss, doing it for my wife and I, but, I can’t change the fact she passed.
Seems to me, dating at my age is rough for sure. Caution is a thing for most my age, and finding someone to date is a game of chance these days. You never know, if someone wants your money or to abuse or misuse you, for their own purposes. Many are feeling the sameway, I have seen and heard. so, the dating scene sucks in many ways. I try to remind many, if I wanted you for money, that would be a poor thing on me. When you reach a certain age if you are not self-sufficent, then you did something wrong. Most who reach my age are ok, money wise and have a place to live of their own. and usually have their own transportation too.
Anyway, I have learned that people in Massachuetts are very cautious, very hard to get to know. So, I just joined the Bowling League I did to get out and about and have some fun. The Bowlers are fun and we laugh a lot as we play and support one another no matter how good we bowl or not.
I still write poetry now and then, when the mood or a subject hits me. I haven’t written any stories in a long time now. Blogs I do, on different subjects from politics, to dating, to Senior living and housing and more. It’s a way to express my feelings is all. So I do it.
I am glad I have tv to watch, a computer to go online with, a cell phone to calll my sister with. I do miss old friends, but, I moved here, to a 55 plus community, figuring it would be easier and better for me. sometimes, I wonder if I made the right choice, when I did it. I find living in such a community a bit hard for me. I am not everyone’s cup of tea so to say, and some are not mine either. I don’t do Community Events, because of my PTSD and problems. The crowds get larger each time it seems. My nerves fire up, and I just have to leave when I do so. Some don’t understand that, when I do it, but, it’s a part of me and my life.
Westborough, is a nice enough town to live in, though expensive at times. I wish it had more to do in it though, like roller skating, or Karyoke Places, and such. Senior Dances would be nice, if they existed, because it is easier for seniors to meet that way. But, Westborough is a growing community and town for sure.
I miss my younger days, I used to run, I used to find things to do easier and meet people easier. yet, as one ages, you worry about, protecting yourself more, financially and emotionally. It’s not something you can ignore nowadays in America.
So I live day to day, and go slow, no more running like I did before. I admire women from afar, say nothing and stay alone. Don’t misunderstand me, I love women in all ways, but, to take a chance at my age, is gonna be hard to do. I had the 28 years with my wife, I loved dearly, and would never trade one second of it. I know it would be hard for me not to compare them to her. although I know I shouldn’t think that way, since she passed. I remember she told me, to find someone and enjoy. Life is so short she said. She was right of course, but, times have changed for sure out here.
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