For me folks, an era seems to have gone by. I write less and less these days it seems. As I age and as I have become a widower, I find, that, there is less for me to say. I have done Short Stories, 51 to be exact, numerous poems, and numerous blogs . I have spoken of the loss of a spouse, politics in general, Trump and his antics and more. I have even delved into Condo living, and 55 plus neighborhoods. The cost of living and how it has risen has been a subject also.
As time now slips further for me, at 69, and the summer is rolling to an end for 2025, I wonder at times how long I may have left to go. No one knows for sure, because some of us are destined for longer stays on this planet than others, it seems. Personally, I never thought I would go past 40 years old, but here I am. I did many things i would have never imagined doing in the world. I never thought for instance, I would draw, I would do art, I would write. I never thought I would have two marriages, two daughters and in the end 4 grandchildren and never see any of them, due to a divorce. I never thought I would have had a military career that lasted 16 years, between three branches. Yet here I am.
I never thought as a teenager I would be a teenage dropout, who went back and got a GED, but, I did. I never thought I would actually go back to school years later and get a Degree in Hotel Management, but I did. I never thought I would be a member of two Honor societies, Alpha Beta Gamma and Phi Thetta Kappa, but, I am. It’s amazing how, you do things you never thought you would do, and make it work as you go along.
Life my friends is a challenge and an adventure too. I have played the part of a M-88 Tank Retriver for the Army and failed at it cause I hated the Army. I then did the Army National Guard and became a Machine Gunner Scout. In The end I went Navy and became a Boiler Technichan. I saw the world folks, by oceans. I did the North Atlantic, Europe, South America, and the Carribean. met many folks and experienced many cultures. I learned it doesn’t matter what country one is from, what religion you are, what language you speak, if you treat others with respect, they do so in return to you.
I have no enemies list like some do, why, because I don’t play hate. If I don’t like someone, I avoid them, and just carry on. My life is being me for who else can I be. I laugh at what I believe is funny, I smile as much as I can, and I usually talk to anyone who speaks to me. Like I told one person, if you wish to argue or fight, please don’t try me, go home, look in the mirror and do so. I told another who threatened to hit me or beat me up once, go ahead do your thing, cause when I get up, your going to prison. He stopped and didnt do a damn thing then. So, I don’t believe in violence or arguing just to argue.
Am I a paficfist, probally, am I a democrat, definitely. What I don’t do is force my views on anyone, and i don’t expect them to try to do that to that to me either. I avoid such things, if you try to force me into a box so to say, I go the other way. As I told one person, I gotta be me, was said in a song, but it fits me well.
Now that I am a widower for over four years, I have gone through grieving. I have thought of finding someone again, for my later years to spend time with. I haven’t as of yet, because I fumble and pause and halt in either fear of not being liked, or not knowing even how to flirt anymore. You spend a long time relationship with someone who passes like my wife did from cancer, you forget how to attract or approach anyone else. You get stuck in your ways, and you just do you. So, to think about asking someone for a date or approaching someone, you run through numerous doubts in your head and you stop. It’s a thing one goes through, and you just don’t know what to do.
Anyway, I don’t know how many more poems I have in me, how many more stories to tell. How many more opinions on politics I may have to put out here. There more than likely will come a day, when I stop writing, and just slowly disappear from it all. I do still like playing billards/ pool for fun, I do still like bowling when my back allows me to. I like to walk, I build puzzles and I read, I watch tv and movies. While I like women and like to talk to them, I do not cross the line and ask them out. Why, because i look at it and go, no woman wants a man my age. Most women want men with money, or power, or younger than I. And at 69, the choices for dating any woman are few and far between in my mind. Even if I had an interest in one or two, I would not know how to approach or ask them anymore, lol.
So, time ticks and the clock moves, the days pass and the weeks and months and years too. I have had a full life thats for sure. At least two of everything I can imagine. So I can honestly say, I am happy being me. So, in the end, where the rest of my time on earth leads me and whats next I take one day at a time is all. I hope all have a great life and stay healthy, and comfy in what they love best. For as we age, we deserve the best in our senior years. You have something you want to do, places you want to go, people you want to see or know, do it folks, do it now! Don’t procrasinate, don’t put it off. It only causes regrets, live your life fully, laugh, cry, smile and enjoy. We only have so much time to be here.
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