August 31st, 2025, the weather is beautiful outside and it has been a clear day. I walked some today, for the first time in while, but not as much as I have in the past. While walking, I think things over and wonder what is what in the world I live in.
I try to eat and sleep well each day and night. I do my laundry on time and shop when needed. I go to Doctors as instructed and when needed also. I pay my bills like any other person also. I write blogs like this and poems and sometimes stories, although I haven’t since my wife passed, on the stories. Guess losing her, took away my want to or need to, on that point.
I have been asked a question, about where I live. here at Dell Webb Chauncy Lake in these condos. Before I go further with this ubject, I want all to understand, under our laws and constitution in the United States, all have freedom of speech and a right to voice their opinions. In this case my opinion may not be liked by many, but I am a honest man.
My opinion of Dell Webb Chauncy Lake is not what others have for sure. Many believe it’s a great place to live and say they enjoy it immensely. They are happy here and I can see why, until, something happens to their equipment or applianances. Then, they will complain and still have to pay for whatever it is. Can’t escape that one, if you bought here, it’s a part of the deal.
I was asked how I like living here at Dell Webb Chauncy Lake and to be honest, I hesitated before I replied, and told the person who asked they may not like what I say. They replied thats ok, I can handle it. So, I hesitated for a minute or two more, before I spoke.
Then I told them, In my opinion, Dell Webb Chauncy Lake Condos, are one step above being in a convalenscent home. You can move about, associate with the other neighbors but live in a big enough space is all. The appliances in the condos, are construction grade only, until you replace them as needed, The Rinnani Hot Water and Heater is a base one, that won’t last for ever, The AC units are bare minimum models, and they go on you.
I continued, as to the people who live here, well thats a subject I won’t get into too deep. But, most are good people in my opinion, and like all other places you may live, there will always be a few bad apples in the bunch. For me, it is extremely, boring, and yes I have been told it is my fault by some, because I do not participate in events here. Maybe so, but I have my reasons actually. Personally, for me, I have Attention Deficiet Disorder, Hyper-Activity and PTSD. So I avoid large crowds and loud noises. I also tend to avoid people who try to change others to fit what they wish them to be. I don’t appreciate, being told to quiet down, or to tone down myself. I do not appreciate being told, I don’t attend so it is my own fault. I wish some would just take it as it is and stop and think before they engage mouth. I am not into large crowds and public speaking. Nor do I wish to take part in many things here. I have tried events and tried to get involved, but, for me, it is not to be.I would rather stay alone on my own and not say or do something that would bother, hurt or upset anyone else. I also, do not wish at anytime, to be a burden, to anyone around me. I stand alone and I am proud of that.
I thought when I moved here, it would be a nice place for people my age range to be. Then after being here a while I realized, being here is like being put out to pasture, before you die. To me that is a sad realization for me. It means, I am here to face the end of my life, and that is not what I wished for or wanted. Yet, in the end, I could have said no, and I could move, but, I don’t have the energy left to do some. So, I settle for what I have, I mind my own business and I do only what I can for myself and others. I bowl, because it gets my out and about, I play pool, for fun, not in a serious way. I play Dominos sometimes when I can and I am up to it. It’s is like living in an Old Folks Home, but the expanded version for safety purposes, lol. Bigger private rooms, and do as you please. Sadly, I have come to realize at 69 years old, there is not much more to do.
Others have family who come to see them, I don’t. Others plan trips and go out and about, I don’t. Others have wives or partners, I don’t. While the men here who are single are vastly outnumbered by the single women here, I would not venture into trying to date any of them. It could be a mess if something goes wrong for sure, it is a tight knit community and word spreads fast, if something goes wrong. Rumors and gossip flies for sure. It’s something like that old TV Show- Peyton Place.
I have been asked by some about who was picked up by an ambulance, I don’t know when it happens and I don’t watch folks. I have been asked who is moving out and why, not my business either really. If I hear the rumor or gossip and I don’t know I will go to the person it is about and ask them lol. Just me is all.
Yes I miss my wife and always will and at some point, I need to move on and look for companionship. Whether I can find it or not, in Westborough I have no idea. But, at some point I shall try once more. as long as I can breath, and walk and talk, I am sure I will find a way, when I am ready.
As we age, we all get set in our ways, so not easy to change.To Adapt and change is a part of life we all have to do, and I know it too. SO, I go one day at a time and hold on to memories is all.
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