Embracing Life at 69: The Search for Love

As we age , we get aches, we get pains, and we carry-on and do the best we can. Some of us have more serious condition, physically and some have conditions mentally. Yet, all of us are striving to stay alive and enjoy the time we have on the planet earth, that we call home.

You can’t overcome deadly diseases, like cancer, unless your lucky and catch it early. Other major diseases are all the same way. Some there is just no hope in overcoming. So, if you watch a person who is terminally ill, as they live out their lives, they try to keep active, they try to keep engaged, and they try to participate in their own ways. They maybe can’t jump a rope or run amile, or find it hard to breath and look good in style. But, they never surrender and never give up, until they have no choice.

My wife was such a person, she died in 2021 from breast cancer. She fought for 16 years to survive and stay alive. when all was said and done, and we had 28 years together mind you, she never complained, she never cried, she never said she couldn’t do a thing. She just did it, smiled, laughed and had a good time. Everyone who knew her and loved her, appreciated her for all of it. I loved her for many reasons, and I was there for 28 years with her. we laughed, we traveled, we hosted family and friends. we cooked together, we cleaned together and we loved one another. We went to plays and musicals and concerts, we ate fine food. wewalked small towns and large together when we could.

As time went on, we would watch tv, play game son our computers across the room from one another. I would write, as she asked me to, for it was her who said it was something I should do. She would read my stories and the ideas I had, and that look at me, and say write these, and don’t make them bad. I would write them and print them out for her and she would read them for me. We shared a life, we shared a bed, we had a relationship that few have had.

I miss her, big time and yes I have grieved all over 4 years now. I have held myself in check, not approached or asked another woman out. I respect my memorie sof my wife and our life. I also remember something she said about me one day. She told her daughter and her sister and friends, he will be fine whenI am gone, he will survive and ultimately carry on. heisa realist she told them and didn’t know I was listening. She said as a realist, you know what you must do, to keep going an dliving, and he knows how to too. I didn’t say a word to her about what she said. I just listened and kept her words in my head.

The other day I was thinking and reading a book. It hit me, I need to change something, I am only 69 now. My wife was 16 years my senior when we married and she died. She had told me, age is just a number and I listened and married her . I will never regret that, or 1 minute of our life together, But, I also remember her telling me, I will have to move on and find someone else, cause ultimately, she didn’t want me to stay by myself. I agree with her now for four years, a lil over I have stayed alone. And found that I would rather have someone in my life than to continue alone. But, how to go about that is a mystery you see, for at 69 yeras old, what woman would want me.

I have never been perfec, but always I have been fair and kind. I have never been Einstein, or a Romeo, nor Mr Handsome at least that I know. I can count the women in my life, on one hand, including two that were my wifes. That doesn’t include my sister or mom. Love it seems, is not easy to find, and the longer I live I see that in time.

I have met many women in my life, some funny, some serious and some warm and some cold as ice. I have sailed the Oceans in the Navy, been around the world, been to many countries too. I have been to Europe, been to the North Atlantic area, around south America and even down to the Virgin Islands. Seen ladies of all colors, shapes and sizes, all different nationalities too. It’s amazing, that all wnat the same mostlt too. They want respect, they want to be cared for, they want to be known for being themselve, for being unigue and an individual. They wnat to be smart and some are sassy. But in the end all want the same, to be loved and remembered for being themselves, and someone remembering their name. The women I have met in my life from even my younger days, all were determined to be unforgetable in their own way. So, I don’t look at bodies and shapes, I look at the person inside you see, if she is positive, happy, can laugh and have fun, she has a chance of being my one. If you are bitter or upset all the time, well I am sorry, you can’t be mine. I don’t care if your a model or beauty or a star, if you can’t be positive and happy an dhave fun, you won’t get far.

As I go forward now, and I search, I have been asked what I seek. The above I have written, wil give you a peak. You don’t need to be a Maryilyn Monroe or Raquel welch or something with me. Looks are nice but not everything you see, If i can talk to you and we can get along, we can laugh and dance and sing a song. If we can walk in sombe rmoments you see and I can stay with you and you with me, it works. It isn’t the public moments that count. I don’t perform acts, out and about. I am me and shall always be me, and that is what makes me happy you see. Don’t try to dress me up, change the way I walk and talk or what I do, and i promise I will never do that to you.

Time is ticking and it never stops. It runs down for all of us you see, I just want to live it fully. Is That asking too much, to live it fully with someone to love? You tell me!