Lets stay free Americans!.

Americans, we stand for freedom, we stand for people’s rights to live and flourish. We extend our helping hand to countries in need like Ukraine and more. Yet we can nor and do not solve our own problems, somegow we let them linger and fester and they grow worse over time. We need to change the way Congress reacts and how we make them react, by being more careful who we put into the Congress, both the House and Senate.

Let me say this first and foremost, many may disagree with me, and many more will agree, the worst thing America ever did in recent history was elect Donald Trump President. His four year tearm utterly destroyed America in many ways, economically, politically and made the world laugh at us. Yes we need changes in political offices, yes we need changes in both the Senate and House, but how should Americans go about it all?

Number one in my book and mind is stop Donald J. Trump, from ever running for the Presidency again! He has so many legal issues and crimes he is accussed of it is crazy and getting worse. Look I know the Trumpers as they have begun to be called run around saying he was so good, he wasn’t. Congress wants to do something, Ban Donald J. Trump from the Presidential Ballots country wide period. Don’t allow this man to have the stage and cause an uprising again. What kind of man, denies his loss, and then causes a riot and destroys our capital and gets away with it? Why is he allowed to be walking free now, he should have been charged and indicted by now!

I know the wheels of Justice turn slowly and take time will be the major answer to the above question, but that has to change soon! Congress ran and hid from Trumpers because they feared for bodily harm and more on that January 6th. Yet they do not act to stop Trump from running again, it’s sad. Trump isa dangerous, violent man, spreading rheotoric and lies left and right and using groups for his own purposes. Please listen America, ot the next election will end in real coup!

Sadly, I don’t think Americans are as bright as they should be on the political front, and on these elections. But besides the lack of education levels in America, we still make the worst choices. Why is this? Why is it so easy for a man like Trump to run again after the destruction and upheaval he caused in our capital while President?

I would like to see, Trump charged legally for his actions and inactions as President leading to and including the January 6th attack and more. I want to see him, taken to court, and convicted, not as a candidate for president again! ON top of all that occured on January 6th, Trump took all kinds of secret documents with him, to his home, not legal action has happened there either,why?

Trump, should be made to pay for all damaged to governement properties on January 6th! He caused it and he caused it against the American People and while he was still in office. He did nothing to stop it either, as he sat and watched it on televison, feeding his face. Why hasn’t Congress acted to ban him from the Presidential Race in 2024? They are gutless and in my opinion worthless if they can not defend their nation by banning such a person from running again.

The young of America must stand up now and face these facts. They have tp make better choices and bring the country forward again and make it better for all. We don’t need Donald J. Trunp vs Joe Biden again! We need younger blood, for in the end Americans, it will be the ypoung who determine who wins or loses the next election. If I were once again just reaching voting age, I would go to the polls and my friends and do all I could to prevent Trump from winning again. The youth of America who can vote in Novemner of 2024, needs to start acting now, to prevent another major disaster like there was on January 6th. Move now, call your Senators, and Representatives, tell them to use the government powers they have to stop Trump being on the ballot. Make noise folks, scream, shout, rally, call and stop it before it happens again. Donald J. Trump does not have the right to run for President again, he already shamed and dishonored the office, don’t let him do so again! If Americans do not act and stop Trump, and he wins again, you may as well be ready to become a communist country! Lets stay free Americans!.

Welcome to March 2023

March 1st, 2023 has begun for me, it is now 7:05 am. The weather has been on and off snow now for almost 2 weeks, nor accumilating anything really, but threatening too here in Massachuetts. Being 67 and living in a small sleepy city like Westborough, is quiet mostly and meeting people is rough at times. You might think, it is easy to meet people for most, go out have fun and talk to everyone right, well, for most that works yes. But what does one do if your 67, lonely, scared to get involved with anyone of the opposite sex and people think you look like you should have no problems, but you do?

I never was one for flirting, I never learned to flirt, and i know many will think I am crazy when I say this, but, it’s true, as the first girl I ever kissed told me one day, I have known you for years she said, but you never firt. It’s easy, I always have an inner feeling no matter how attracted to a female I am, that they will never go out with me and I basically use built in tactics to avoid them. It is an auto-response built in from my childhood and being told all my childhood I was useless, and worthless.

So, yes I know, some ask me then, how did I end up married twice, having two kids? I always tell them the samething, I have no idea. Did i ever ask any woman out basically no, except for my second wife, once. We just seemed to click. The first wife i met in what is called a Wave Cage in the Navy, she wasa sailor too, I met her playing pool and listening to music. So, now when my second wife, passed due to cancer, and since i have been flaying about and alone, a loner. Always have been a loner i guess you may say, and at 67 that is saying a lot. In life there are extroverts and introverts, I am a weird combo of both at different times and situations. I don’t do large crowds well, I avoid them mostly. And I usually say hello to women only or hold just small or idle converstaions with them.

As it goes today at 67, I am holding on and doing my thing, I walk, I write, I play pool and bowl. I shop as needed and live alone in a 596 square foot condo that is almost brand new on the fourth floor and hide and look out at the world. It isa quiet life, no more climbing roofs to clean then, over snow blowing driveways or cutting grass. No more major problems with pro[erties or the home. No more driving my wife to exams, appointments, tests or chemo and radiation, or immunio-theraphy. No more running back and forth to hospitals and doctors and nursing homes.I miss her big time, we had open communication, we had caring, sharing, and more for 28 years. I will always miss her, there is no one across the room to talk to anymore, she is gone and cancer took her from me.

As to how I will continue on I do not know, I stumble through each day, I smile and laigh and sarcastically joke with people here. I have not had female companionship now in about 6 years physically and i don’t even know if I could perform if it happened. I miss the closeness, the intimacy and more, but, life must go on.

As to dating site, I have posted profiles and looked and paid the price for them. Yet I find they are money grabbers and really don’t work. Many fake or old profiles on them, that are never removed. Few answers, but no connections, i chat a few times, maybe meet for coffee and move on. Finding a partner to date in this day and age in 2023 is almost impossible, for me it is impossible. No woman wants a old 67 year old man, who is retired and alone. So, I go day by day, I try to walk, eat when hungry, go to Doctors as needed and leep to myself, scarred to ask any woman out. I never was a big dater.

Now some will say I am lying I am not, I can count on my one hand the number of females I have been with, intimately. or even in a relationship of any kind. So if you figure it out fast, it was the two wive and only three others in 67 years of life so far. I am not a goggilo, or playboy, nor am I a women chase rof any kind. I just do me is all. If that doesn;t work, I am brave enough to walk alone and carry on in life anyway. To where ever the Good Lord leads me is where I shall go, for I am controlled by fates and destinies is all. For me if I am to find another owman to share my ederly days with fine, it will happen organicly or not at all, I force nothing and never would.

Lately, ipay no attention to the news or the world, i stay introverted and quiet, I laugh and joke playing pool with the guys and laugh and joke while bowling too. But, other wise I walk alone, up to 3 miles or more a day if weathe rpermits, I read, I build puzzles play X-box games and lif eis day to day.

Whats Next for Me?

Welcome to Febuary 2023 the 19th. It is much like any other day at 6;26 am, still partial darkness as the sun looks for a way to start the new day. people are sleeping still and I am awake once more. Sleeping is just something I do whenever it hits me to do now a days. I love alone in isolation, even in a 55 plus community here. Maybe I madea mistake coming here after my wife died, but the choice was made by me so I must love with it, in my 956 square foot condo. Yes I have all I need to survive, except company and companionship which my wife provided me till she passed.

Now, i am not asking for mercy or pity from anyone, but I can not help but say when you are 67 like i am, it is not possible to find a lover, or friend of the opposite sex. It’s just a fact of nature and humanity I think, all of us seem to end up alone don’t we? Humanity folks, can not exist in isolation or by themselves, we need one another to survive and prosper. I keep trying to find someone to share my remaining years with, but, it does not seem fated for me.

I have lived a full life so far,I struggled the first nine months of my life with seizures, that stopped when I was dropped on my head. Long story. Then as i grew up I became an outcast from other kids and not accepted because i had ADHD and Hyperactivity. As i grew up I would spend hours and days alone wandering the woods and neighnorhoods of my childhood. All through my childhood I wa stold how bad I was, how hard i was to get along with and how i wasn’t a normal child. Wasn’t my fault, but hey I couldn’t change it then, it was all medically induced.

At about 12 years old before I finished Elementary School, things changed for me, I began to accept I would never fit in and just did what I thought was right, within the normal bounds of the law and society norms. By fourteen years old I was more normal in actions and reactions and my mind and body became more in sync for me. Yet, as close to normal as I was by then, othere factors would affect me, as I grew. Physically I am nopt a big man, never have been only 5 feet eight full grown now and I have gone anyhere from 150 lbs. ytp 230 and back down now to around 180 lbs. An average man, most of my life I was always restless.

As I went through my fourteeth year, I began to norice the opposite sex and that became a problem for me. I became distracted by females, and had no idea how to handle them. I found some I really liked of course and I knew they would never like me , so I would not and did not know how to act. I felt socially unadept around the female species as a fourteen year old, clumsy and awkward and I always thought, I never wasa handsome guy. So, I would stay away as much as I can.

By 15, I found myself attracted to a girl slightly olde rthan I and that led to my teenage years of trouble. As much as i like the girl in question I also knew she was bad for me and i for her. So by the time we drifted apart, her younger sister decided to come after me, While I will always appreciate the two years I spent with her, and even my first sexual experiences with her, I knew she and i were not meant for long term. I dinally figured out by 17 that high school was something I would never complete, so I dropped out and went to work in a factory for a few years. When that fell through and ended, due to my attention deficiet disorder, I knew I woul dhave to make some kind of choice soon.

I actually, had to make a choice, so I ended up, examining who and what I was by walkiing the streets of my hometown at the time and looking for things to do. I was constantly bored and moving, I lived in othe r people’s homes more than my own with my parents. I spent most of my teen years this way. But, I looked at the girlfriend I had at the time an dtold her, I was leaving and joining the military. And one day I walked into a Recruiting office and joined, after I got my GED Diploma.

While the Military supplies discipline and structure, the Army wa snot for me and I could not function properly, so I was given a trainiee discharge unde rhonorable conditions, I came home to try to start over again. I live din the town YMCA for a few years. While there i ended uo joiningt he National Guard and serving there for a few years, as i bounced from job to job. I knoew I had to do something a sthe economy was dying around me and i was barely surviving as I worked helping a resturant out. I knew i had to find something and needed more.

I decided to renter he Military, but shied away from the Army, and joined the U.S. Navy, where i found structure, discipline and a education in a trade so to say. I became a Boiler Technichan for 16 years total I served my country in three branches of service until in an accident I was injuried and forced to a Medical under Honorbale Discharge due to disabilities. I fought to stay in for seven years after injuried but lost. During my time in the Navy I married for the first time, and had two of everything, including children. Yet when my discharge happened my marriage also failed, the income was gone. Times were changing and I became adrift once my first wife asked for a divorce, so I came home once more. I was searching for help, and searching for my footing onc emore when first my dad died, then my step-father an dmy mother during the time period. It was big lesson in humanitya nd it’s limits for me, I wa snow alone and drifting again.

Back to basics I went and found a small apartment and with help of some friends I settled in. I would find a new woman in my life when I decided I was tired of being alone. I decided it wa stime to get out and see people again. I went to Single’s dances, looking for something to do. I met my secomnd wife there, and she became the center of my life. I tried working again and couldn’t so I ended up back in school at 40 years p;d graduating from College. I havea degree in Hotel Management, I erned, along with Awards and being a member of three honor societies. Yet, I wa sstill unsettled and restless and I guess i shall always be. I ran hotels for a bit and then basically quit due to boredom and not fitting in.

I did odd jobs for a year or so and found my back injuries interfeared and couldn’t work anymore, so I fought for disability and won after a seven year span. Been disabiled since now. so life went on. My wife and I were constantly together, and we staye dthat way living off of what we could do. She worked, and I puttered and took care of home. In the end our marriage would last 28 years, and we had a beautiful life an dhome. Each year we invited family for Thanksgivings we cooked together, we went to plays and shows, and walked/ When she was diagnoised with breast cancer I stood by her, when I got lung cancer during the same time we supported one another. We never gave up. I sat through her chemo, radiations, Doctors appointments and I hospiced her in the end till she passed. She sat through my 16 hour lung cancer operation and prayed I would survive, even thinking I wouldn’t, but I did. Life has hit me with more curveballs then any baseball pitcher has thrown in his lifetime. Yet I continued on, even after my wife died and I buried her. Her gravestone has my name on it and I will be buried with er when I pass.

But Life has slowly moved on now, it is now over 19 months since she passed on me, I had to sell all we had, the home belongings and more and move on. I moved to be closer to my sister who is 9 years my junior, but, that didn’t last long, for we all have our own lives to live don’t we. She needs a life of her own and I decided to move intoa 55 plus condo community to try to stay close to her. Yet that, didn’t go as planned either as she moved on to anothe rlover and life and i endeded up alone in my 956 square foot condo alone.

Life alone is a struggle, why, well health, loneliness, isolation all factor in. When you lose someone you loved for so long to cancer or illness you miss them, No two people are the same, and you are slow to heal and decide to move on It doesn’t help when your in your sixities and know no one around you. Fears creep in, like i am old, and ugly an dno one will want me I don’t know my area so Is truggle to find things to do and meet people. I have taken up bowling once a week for company, and playing billards too. I walk miles a day for execise and pray I meet someone for company and companionship, but no luck. At some point you come to accept, that the destinies and fates are not yours to control anymore, and accept you may never find someone to share the final years with. So, you putter, you read, you build puzzles, you walk, you watch televison and movies, and look for places to go do things. In the end, you learn you can only do so much to keep going and begin to accept you are doing all you can. So, time moves ata snail pace each day, the aches and pains of old age set in and even if your mental abilities are fully intact you understand the limits of senior living. So you pay your life insurance and you hang on. for that is all that is left, is it not?

Aging is no fun as I am sure anyone will tell you, including ex_presidents like Jimmy Cater who is now in hospice at home. We all fac eour own mortality at some point and begin to wonder whay we are still here. We have no choice unless we decide to end it on our own, but our faith tells us not to. I have seen too many take their own life. I am tired. So what is next for me, at 67 years old? I know not but I shall putter on a bit more I guess.

Because, A poem!

Feb. 1st. 2023. Winter is still upon us here in Mass. and the temperatures will drop once more soon. I shall sit in my 956 sq. foot condo alone in the cold days and dream of the days when I had someone to cuddle to and keep warm. I miss the das when I had a good woman by myside to converse with, to laugh with, to cuddle to and enjoy one another, but, I also know in todays society and world, money drives everything and I am not rich. I have no money to buy love or sex, or even companionship, at times I can be grumpy like the old movie Grumpy Old Men, and at other times I can be fine and funny, It all depends on what is happening around me each day.


By William M. McCurrach

Feb. 1, 2023

Because I walk in silence,

I walk in peace,

Because I walk alone,

I do not need to search for peace.

Peace comes from the inner soul,

That part of you that makes you whole,

The comfort of being who you are,

No matter where you be, or how far.

Do not judge me and ask me why I am alone,

I may not be the only one alone.

I may not wish to be lonely and with no one,

But I am not a fool to fall and be used by someone.

Some want money, some want fame,

Some like to pay what I call mind games.

I prefer to avoid it all,

For I have lived loves and survived them all.

So I am asked why I have no girlfriend,

Or No lover in my life,

Because I am smart enough to not rush down,

Loves edge and get cut like a knife.

I prefer to stay free, and let things happen naturally,

And let the Good Lord make the choices for me.

I control not what my fate may be or even my destiny, but I do know i awake each day and try to just carry-on. We know not why the Good Lord put us upon this planet, but we do know we are here, for what reason, well, that only our lifetimes will tell us. I believe each of us are here on earth for certain things we do not understand, We are preprogrammed at birth to complete certain missions here on eartha nd when we complete those missions we get recalled to the Good Lord’s side. Life ends for all of us at some stage and we come to understand when it does that we have done all we can, and there is no more to do. We have no choice but to surrender to the ultimate fate of dying.

Fate, Destiny, whatever it may be, is it reall the truth of life for you and for me. I do not know, because i still am running on this world. Because i have no choice do I? No, I am stubborn, old, set in my ways and I shall continue to ne me day by day. I shall walk my own road, carry my own load, care for those i can and always be my own man. Isn’t that what life is about, being who you are meant to be, being you just because. You Tell me folks!

I do know, when I die my poems, stories and even my blogs will live online beyond my time. I know some will call them good and fine and some will say they are the worst of all time. I never have sought fame or fortune, so I write to let out what I feel, I hope over the ages and time, it will feel real to others too.

Thoughts, after I turned 67.

January 28th, 2023 has begun for me and I woke up at 4:30 am today. Why. I have no idea, I am 67 years old now, and I still have the mystery of what my body does and why not explained to me, nor do I understand it. We still continue daily and we do as our bodies and minds tell us to do. Why, well, we are human and we do not control what the Good Lord wants for us do we?

Anyway, life for me is a boring routine these days, wake up have coffee, look at e-mails, and maybe write a boh is I am in the mood fo rit, like now. Otherwise I watch television, play x-box, or I walk as much as I can till tired. On Mondays I go down and play blilards with the men and people who live in the condos I do, and on Thursdays I bowl. Now, for me at 67 there is not much more I can do these days, although I do miss the company and companionship of my wife, who passed on me in August of 2021. 18 months after she is gone, I am still alone with no woman in my life, and wondering if I shall have one ever again.

I have tried Zoosk and now Our Time also, finding that the dating sites do not seem to click for me, no matter how many profiles I click on or read. I get nervous trying to meet any females out there, and I do not understand the process anymore and I never have known how to flirt, guess at my age I wil lprobaly never learn either. I see othe rmen who all they do is flirt, and I am like what are they doing, I never understand it. I think I am an old fashioned man, lost in a world of the woke crowd and alone because the Good Lord wants it this way for me.

The Dating scene for people my age of 67 is rough and not easy to handle or understand anymore, for me. I guess, I have found all the women the good lord wanted me to be with by now and it is my job to just wind down my life slowly alone. Is it fate or destiny, stubborness or foolishness, i do not know, but, I live alone in 956 square feet, trying to survive. I get people telling me I should get out more, meet people in the area, volunteer, they say. Well, while in certain situations and enviroments I do interact some, I am tole I talk too much, and i scare the women away. What do you want from a 67 year old man who has spent the last 30 years, with a wife who died on him to do. Do you think I should be jumping women left and right, I doubt it and wouldn’t go there. The dating scene of today is nothing like the dtaing scene of yesteryear, it is different. The woke movement, covid scares, nuts with guns and more.

This is not the Americaq I grew up in anymore. We have politics gone crazy, disrespect for laws, lack of manners by many and so much more out there. So many saw join a dating site I did, I met two womenin now four months is all. Neither was a fit for me, and it seems I not for them either. So I wandr on my own walking malls and streets for exercise, sometimes build puzzles till bored, play x-box for fun, watch tv and read if I feel like it. I amnow one of the old men society I think and slowly wasting away in a way. I am reluctant to ask aby woman for a date, or out, because I do not think I am a catch they would want in anyway. My opinion of my chances are slim to none if I did it in my opinion. So I stay alone and surrender to the eventual.

Although I should get out and explore where I now live, I don’t. I seem to fall into patterns of life that are simple and easy. I don’t spend a lot of money. I am not rich folks, I live on disability and social security these days. I come and go to Doctors and Dentists, or if I get sick I go to clinics to to be checked out. Basically, the way I see it, if I have no one to share life with, I shall slowly fade away, it is how life is I gather, as I age for me.

I have had few loves in my life and I can honestly say, I can count them on one hand. I wa snever one to date alot, or get involved alot with the opposite sex. I smile at them, them at me and then we speak and I do not get past thefriend stage, at any point anymore. So I have surrendered to the fact I am meant to be alone at this stage in life, I told my sister at one point already, I bought this condo, and it is probally here, where you shall find me dead one day. For unless one invovles themself in the world and is active, one diminishes or fades and no one worries or cares about, people who stay alone. This is how we all pass away soone ror later isn’t it alone. I remember an old movie, called Grumpy Old Men, it starred Walter Matheau and Jack Lemon, who competed for a beautiful woman in ther old age. One gets the lady an dthe other gets left alone. I am now one of those grumpy old men like they were, alone on my own and just barely surviving. I am not competing for any woman’s attention, though. So, my demise wil lprobally come soon enough, we lal face the fact of our passing sooner of later don’t we?

Aging is a natural thing, out bodies slow down, our minds go on and in the end we begin to realize we are set in our ways also. We tend not to want to change much, for we know what worked to get us to the old age we are. I don’t run anymore like I did in my teens, there is no ice skating or roller skating these days. No climbing moutains or trails anymore either. I tried pickleball and hurt myself when I arrived here last year and delt out of place doing so, so I gave it up. I don’t heal as quickly as i di in my youth lol. I may go back tp pickleball for somethoing to do when the weathe ris wamer and if I make sure I am dressed for it, in the right sneakers.

I used to love fishing also, but everything these days cost money. I still like the outdoors and always will, fresh air is good for us all. In the end, I know, I am alone, and wil probally stay that way. I don’t have the sense of humor I used to anymore either it seems and little things get to me. maybe it’s because I am always alone that it matters, but I seem to avoid most things these days. Life is right now boring, depressing and in all reality just a day to day routine for me, so I know unless it changes or I meet someone to change it, this is it, in my case. The good lord is picking how and where my life shall end not I.

I am beggining to believe and understand that now a days.

Friday has come around once more, and i am now 5 days from being 67. I find it amazing I am still kicking at this age. I have been through enougha nd i am getting tired out, it feels to me. Each day I wake up thinking what am I doing here and why?

My wife has now beem gone for over 17 going on 18 months, and i am still alone and know no one around me really. Being alone takes time to get used to again in life after you had a long term relationship taht wnet 28 years. So it is always one day at a time, and it is alonely world when you get older, more do not want to bother with you due to age. Then we have the covid effect and all that goes with it, the economy isgetting worse and the political climate sucks.

Since I have never learned to flirt in anyway, I am just me day by day. So I say nothing to any women really, and watch from afar. Loneliness sets in, then ya get depressed and then ya just surrender is all. Never was abig ladies man, nor was I one to chase women around. So, even when I do see someone or meet someone online I have no idea what to do or say. It feels like i am in a world out of sync to me and lost.

Now I have tried dating web sites and talked to some women, but then, I don’t meet them all or drive all around trying to either, I am not interested in traveling 50 miles or more to meet someone.Web sites don’t work if you ask me I have tried Zoosk and OurTime and find them to be filled with old profiles and reusing them and of course the scammers who only want money. It is sad really.

Then you have the Adult Sites like Adultfriendfinder and others, offereing ways to meet people for different sexual acts and such and for creating relationships for sexual acts or lifestyles. Again, scams in many ways and they don’t work either in my book, for in todays world, people are scared, too many crazy people in the world, too many desperate people in the world and of course scammers who wnat money, not just relationships or friendships. Sad world we live in today for sure.

As to what is next for me, i do not know, I do what I always do, I walk when I can, for health reasons, I play x-box on and off, I watch movies and tv shows, I write blogs and poems and stories when it hits me to. I chat online for fun also. I play billards once a week and bowl also once a week right now. I tried pickle ball, hurt my ankle, and didn’t go back since. Maybe in the spring I will try again. I tried fishing some last year in the lake here, but no fish bit lol.

Life is a series of the same events for me daily, sometime I read and sometimes i build puzzles is all. Will it change I have no idea, I know nothing of the state I live in here, Massachuetts here, Worcester County, or the town I live in Westborough. So I struggle daily tryingto get around and oit into the public. So I see or know or have met no one. Life is not easy as you age and it seems that no matter what you do, the fates and destinies and the Good Lord drive your life without you knowing why. You tend to finally just give up and hope for the best. Life shall go on, until it doesn’t for me, time shall tell, nut as i said before nice guys finish last and alone. I am beggining to believe and understand that now a days.

Questions for the women of America!

Lets start easy ladies,

  1. Are you single, divorced or widowed and in the 55 plus category for women and straight?
  2. Do you like being alone and not dating?
  3. Are you looking for dates if you are 55 plus and female out there?

These are just a few of my starting questions I have for women of the world and especially in The USA!

Further Questions:

4) Being 55 plus and single, divorced or widowed, what do you look for in men?

5) Are you in bars, taverns or clubs, to meet men or elsewhere?

6) What qualities do you look for in men, that attracts you?

7) How important is sex to you, after 55 and up and is it vital for any relationship?

8) Do you seek companionship, or one night stands, or friends with benefits? Or Long Term Relationships?

9) How many dates does it take for you to believe you are in a relationship with a man?

10) Do you look for honesty?

11) Do you look for compassion, understanding, and loyality? if so, how much so?

12) What is the most important thing to you, about a relationship with a man?

13) Does covid affect your dating process and how?

14) How do you overcome covid and trust issues in your relationships?

15) Do you date from online dating sites, and do you find them reliable and good?

Lets start with these questions Ladies/ Women and see what your answers are, I am looking for honest answers here only, please do not get angry over the questions. The intention here is to learn something as a man and help others as well as you women, to understand what each side is seeking out here.

I live in Westborough, Ma., a sleepy small town. There are limited things to do here to meet the oppposite sex, so I would also like to know what or where to meet women 55 plus around here for fun times. I do walk some, I also play billards and bowl. So, what do the women all really like to do on dates? I know dinner is always good, but I want to know activity wise and not just pickleball please.

You can answer here on my blog page, or you can e-mail me, at bmccurrach20@gmail.com with replies. If the answers are decent and not angry or outragious or mean, I will answer back, for discussion if you like. Just ask!

I hope to get some replies and to learn from this all, and help others also. Lets see if the women, will respond to honest questions! I will wait and see,

Bring it Women, let me hear you roar,so I may learn more.

Dating in the 60’s!

MLK Day is here, and soon enough I turn 67 years old, January is flying by. As the politics fly by, reports of documents and deaths and more, I wonder, whats next for me. I live alone in a 55 plus community, and as my sister said, don’t get involved with the women, they all talk, and it will spread like wildfire.

So I stay alone and try to get along on my own hoping to run into a decent woman somewhere up here. I play pool on Monday, evenings, bowl on Thursday evenings, and then chat online and have profiles on dating sites. But so far no real match, pretty women yes, but, not a match as of yet.

As we age, we tend to not know how to flirt anymore, or what to do once we become alone once more in life. I suffer from this daily. I never did learn to flirt, so as I age it is rougher for me to find women to date. I try dating sites like Zoosk, and OurTime and such, find some nice profiles chat and have dated two, but no fit as of yet. I guess it is a process, I have to live through. I hate phonies or people after just your money. It happens online always.

Look I hate complaining I really do, but, what the hell is this shit online. Ya chat, and pay for dating sites and you hit a wall, because people aren’t honest, open or trusting anymore in this world we live in. Why is it now, the best way to meet someone may be in taverns and bars, and everyone wants to drink? Is there anything else to do in this day and age? or are we now a society or drinkers and drunks? Or are we now a society that depends on dalcohol and drungs to interatact and get along. what is it?

Anyway trying to get back out there and find someone to spend quality time with at 67 years old soon, is not easy. People my age usually stay home and try to relax in the evenings and watch tv or read or go to friends or relatives for company. Stranger danger is a problem, and trust is a commodity few have anymore. Any relationship is built on trust, honesty, and then you have to navigate around assholes and covid too, It’s a tough world out there. As much as i love females, the requirements and demands they have these days can be frustrating to say the least, and the men do it also to themselves.

We are too judgemental and we don’t tend to understand no one is perfect, and we all have our faults and problems. We need to learn to compromise and make do. No person is perfecta nd we all make mistakes folks, learn it and make do.

Dating in todays, day and age is rough for all, but more so for those of us 55 and above. What we need is a more open mind and heart and some trust to give it all a try. Respect those you meet yes, be polite yes, but be realistic if your 55 plus and single. We have to realize we all have lived a life already and bring our own baggage with us forward. No one is perfect. Dating in the 2020’s era wil get more complicated and more fussy out of fear of covid, and more. If we sit back and do not open ourselves to possibilities there will always be lonely people out here !

How long your legacy really will be.

Whats next in life, lets see, I started life and then overcame 99 siezures as a baby, by being dropped on my head at 9 months old. Then, worked my way up in age, with attention deficiet disorder and hyperactivity, having trouble in school and at home.

By, the time I reached 12 years old I had been put into a Institution for Emotionally danaged children and released. I went back to Grammer School and graduated as all the other students stared at me, like i was a freak or outcast.

Then I went on to High School years, where I would not make it through because I was too distracted by too many things. Yet I made friends there and when I did drop out I kept some. I went onto go to work in factories then, working sometimes 80 hours a week. Yet I did not really fit in anywhere, I was like an odd wheel in a square world so to say. Just not one to fit any model or mode that there was.

I left home and went on to join the Army first, then The Army National Guard and finished in The US Navy, for a total service time of 16 years. I had a marriage and two daughters and I did the service for them not for me, until I was injuried. We had homes and two of everything, until I was Discharged Medically under Honorable Conditions. Then that marriage and my daughters were gone one day when my first wife decided she wanted a divorce. I never fought it and I lost my daughters in the process.

Overcoming had by then become a way of life for me, I went thru a very bleak couple of years then, walking the streets and living in a YMCA. Struggling job to jon, meal to meal. I even worked to eat, cleaning resturants and doing dishes. Making menus, I still survived.

I went through the loss of my parents who died each of cancer, in their fifties, when I was in my 30’s. I not only lost my parents I lost my step-father who raised me to it also. I survived and paid my part to bury those who raised me. It’s called life I always have said we do not live for ourselves but fot others.

I continued, and foung a woman, I loved and spent 28 years with, I married her. God Bless her soul, for she passed on me also from cancer and I have never missed aperson more than her. Pretty, smart, able to communicate and always there she was with me. We had two of everything, like my first marriage,except children. I never wanted more children and missed my two daughters until I comtacted them after they reached legal age. Nut, ny then my daughters were not interested inhaving a father, they wanted a piggy bank, a ATM as one of them called me. Well thea ended those rerlationships basically for me, I am nobodys fool nor shall I be used by anyone, in such ways. I love my daughters and their children too, but, I am no fool. I went back to school, at 37 to graduate at 40, and get a Degree. How many do that!

Life continued as i said for me, and my wife too. Then came the sad endings once more for me. First I stood side by side and helped my wife with her breast cancer over 16 years. Doctors, hospitals, chemo, radiation, remission finally. Then I got cancer in the middle, lung cancer almost got me, but I wa slucky, I losta lone and a third of my right lung but survived. Then my wife’s cancer roared back. We battled it, my wife and I, till agter a 16 year fight the cancer in her would not disappear. We turned from chemo and radiation when it would not work anymore to immunio theraphy for her. In the end itfailed, cancer keeps coming. I took her to Doctors, tests, Chemo, radiation, Immunio-theraphy and all failed. In the end, she was in and out of hospitals, rehab facilities and back home and back in twice in her final six months. In the end i went to see her down the road in the Rehab dacility she was in and she couldn’t feed herself anymore, no one was feeding ger now, so I brought her home amd hospiced her for her final ten days of life. She passed at least with me near in our home we shared together knowing I loved her, and she lobed me, for those were the final words we spoke to one another. I kept my word to her, I burioed her next to her son she had lost when he was younger. And I prepared the headstone for both of us, so I will be buried next to her whenI go too. I paid for all, and went through the motions in tears and sobbing, but I did it all.

Today I have sold all my wife and i owned together an dleft the area we lived in and the home we had behind. Why, some ask me, simple, I could not live there and not be depressed any further, by her memory. I love now in a new state, a new condo and I am trying exteremly hard to start a new life for I am now only 66 about to turn 67. Life is lonely and yes I miss my deceased wife and I talk to her picture daily telling her I miss her. I ma old now, at least it feels that way to me, I have seen the world, I have loved two women and had two daughters and two different loves. Creating a third one is tiring for me now. It is hard, for I am old my body is aching, my joints hurt, my muscles don’t work the same anymore and even my teeth are failing now and I meed massive repairs. As my wife wasdying, I was grinding my teeth down in my sleep in worry, so I have bad teeth now and tey are being crowned and capped and more now.

Someone asked me what I want next in life, I just want peace, to be able to have a female for companionship, someone i can communicate with, and laugh with and enjoy. I want to be able to relax and basically hope to die in peace without pain. Will that happen for me I do not know, for I have no control over fate or destiny, but I only comtrol my own actions daily. I now go day by day when I wake up to when I sleep.

Fate and destiny has kept me alive this far and I am here for some reason, I do not know why, anymore then anyone else may. I have a belief, that we are all placed here, upon this planet for a reason none of us can fanthom as we go thru life. We have our mission to complete, in someway, someday, and then we are recalled to from whence we came in the end. The Good Lord puts us here for us to interact with other human beings, in the end we shall all be remembered not for the money we made, the possessions we owned, but for how we treated others in life. People do not stand over graves, and cry, over material possessions folks, they stand over graves and cry ove rthe person they miss, the onethat treated them well and respected them and was always there for them. Those are the ones we miss, those are the ones we would like back in our lives again. We are remembered for how we treat others and only loved for that reason, always remember that! Remember, as you go through life, it is the interactions you have with others, how you treat them, that makes your memory to them worthwhile and as long as you live in their memories, will be how long your legacy really will be.

Odds/ and opinions/ Politics and Thoughts

January 6th, 2023, began at 5:30 am for me, I awoke onc emore with back spasms and pain, which is fast becoming the normal for me these days. Yet, I persist, and keep walking, and doing what I have to survive is all.

These days I tend to watch the Celtics and the NFL when I can when they are on. I love both, but, refuse to pay the prices to go see them live, they are just crazy. Being elderly, on Social Security and disability, I tend to watch my money closely and go day by day the best I can.

When, you get to a certain age like me, in your mid to high 60’s, you just want peace and quiet and in the end, someone to share it with. I have the peace and quiet now, I miss having the someone to share it with. My guess is, I will have to get out and find someone to be with, but to do so, I will have to learn the area I live in, here in Massachuetts.

Well, I do play pool on Monday evenings with the gang at the clubhouse for fun, Then on Thursdays I Bowl for fun too with the group here from the condos I live in. Walking I try to do daily if i am up to it and my back lets me, these days. In the meantime I write my blogs here, chat online and watch mobies and shows. I started a puzzle a while back but it is like the 5th one since last March when I moved here, but, I got bored with it all, so it sits waiting. I read now and then, but you can only read so much before you get bored also.

So, what do tou do, when your going on 67 in a few days, and you have a back that goes out on you and you live alone? I am not sure it would have been any different for me in Connecticut, then it is now in Massachuetts, age is now becoming a determining factor in all I do or try to do. I have seen card playing clubs here, majong playing cluns and domino playing clubs here also, but I have not joined them. I am tending to avoid gettng involved with the women here in the condos I live in, gossip would rule the place if I did and women tend to talk. Plus I do not beed to as one put it to me, shit in my own backyard, it would make living here a drama circus on a daily basis.

So I guess I shall start looking for things to do and places to go. Maybe events, or clubs, I don’t know what the area I live in offeres up here. Most I have looked ta here in Westborough is geared for the younger crowd of course, so I shall have to expand my looking some to see what else there is. Maybe, try to look into Meet-Up and their events, or things along those lines. Most of what I see so far in this area is aimed at younger crowds and couples, not senior singles.

Anyway that will give all an idea what is happening for me here, so far on my new life. I have been watching this farce on a vote for Speaker of The house happen now for three days and 11 rounds. Now, let me say this, if I ran 11 times for the same position and my peers didn’t vote to give me the Gavel and Seat, I would drop out, from pure embarrasement! How can Kevin McCarthy sit there through each vote and know they don’t want him as Speaker of The House and keep going? It must be humiliating at the least.

Will he get The Speaker of The hOuse position and Gavel eventually, naybe, but, what shall be left isa spineless, weal Speaker of the House, he is giving away far too many concessions period. You can’t be Speaker of the House under the concessions he is giving away. He will be the shortest term ever for a Speaker.

In the meantime the Legislative Branch of our Governement is basically shut down and incoming Representives can not be sworn in either. Things have come to a stop in The House and McCarthy has not budged and is stubborn and so are his opponents, sadly. The damage this battle is causing to the country and the Republican Party, will not disappear if McCarthy gets the gavel and Spreakers seat, for a long while. You can’t have a Speaker of the House who has no spine or backbone or power left, because he gave it all up, to get the seat. It won’t work, the Republican party wil run over McCarthy and he will look like an ass.

Next subject to tackle, so to say. The near death of a young 24 year old NFL Player due to heart problems here. I doubt very much if the illness or almost death of Dumar Hamlin, will be blames on the NFL in anyway. First off the condition that happened to him, is a rarity in and ofitself in sports and in the NFL. When one plays the game of football one understands that you are taking a chance in the first place for it is a violent sport. Secondly, I believe it was a hidden condition Hamlin either did not know he had, or did know but woul dnot admit to, because it was his goal to play in The NFL. Now, I am not saying Hamlin hid the condition, I am saying this condition he suffered, is a rare one and is nota common occurance at all. The NFL did the right thing and did it as fast as possible, the equipment and ambulance needed and medical staff were present and kept Hamlin alive. I am sure The NFL and The Bufflao Bills Organizations are covering all the costs for his care now, as he slowly recovers, Hamlin will neve rplay football again in my opinion, the danger of someone with his conditions and what he has experienced now having it happening again are high. God Bless Hamlin and keep him alive and bring him back to health,

Yes I cover many subjects in my blogs on and off and i know sometimes it seems likea scattershot view of the world I present. When you get to a certain age, you have more time to listen to news of all kinds don’t you! LOL!

The world has changed in so many different ways in my lifetime. While the constants remain as standards the society in America goes up and down and changes always. The status of men and women go up and down with each generation of mankind it seems. We argue over who is the more dominant sex, who can hold what jobs, who has what options in life and why. We argue over common care and health for all, we argue over who has earned retirement or not, and so much more. In the end, are we not all equal, whether we are male or female, black, white, hispanic or asian? We all want the same things, to be able to stay healthy, to be able to earn our own way, to live peacefully and in the end, die in peace too. So tell me, why do we argue over the color of our skins, or the races we are part of, the answer is simple, we all want the same things in life, but we tend to blame others for not getting them. If you don’t get what you want, it is usually because you don’t press to go get it yourself, or you allow others to push or shove you aside and they take it. Do, yourself a favor folks, no matter what your age, color, race or anyother thing may be, never surrender, never give up and in the end go for what you wnat most that wil make you happy in life. If you don’t we only have so long on this planet, it is your own fault. Not everything is easy folks and the world and society competes at everything out there, make sure you do too, or you shall lose out. It’s just a bare fact all must face in the world and deal with each day.