Category: Sunday

Facts of American Life


Good Morning all, January 26th, 2025 is upon us all. Cold outside and clear so far, no snow or rain but gray. For me a start to the next year of my life since i just turned 69 yesterday. Spent it alone as usual, since I am a widower, and live alone in Westborough, Ma. here. As I start year 69 for me, I am trying to see if there is any place other than the Senior center in town for people my age to hang out and meet the opposite sex, for companionship. Being alone is no fun, nor is being retired if you have no one to share it with, unless you are into, isolation, and being solo and used to it and I have never been good at it.

As I age I am beginning to see the loneliness syndrome that is affecting Americans these days, in our country, Many get overlooked dur to age, many are scared of saying hello to one another, and there isa distrust between sexes and and people in general in this country, like i have never experienced before in my lifetime. people have trust issues, and judge others too quickly, and at times are overly sensitive and can’t handle a sense of humor it seems. the quickness to judge and condemn makes more enemies in life than friends folks, always remember that, so stop it. Someone, smiles and says hi, it never hurts to smile and say hi back. Be polite, use some manners too, they come in handy in life, your parents taught them to you for a reason you know. society is today a mean spirited world, with less manners then anytime in my lifetime. People get upset over politics, religion, comparing generations, of music and cars and so many subject, they forget they have to socialize and get along to survive, and they end up isolating themselves and pushing away everyone else. Then, they end up complaining, they are alone and don’t get why they are. Sad really.

Anyway, at 69, I wonder, am I ugly, am I cantankerous, am I mean, and I rude or something? I try to be fair, polite, kind and avoid confrontations, or fights. Someone says they don’t like me, I avoid them, someone doesn’t like what I say, I don’t talk to them. I am honest in my opinions, but I condemn no one for theirs too. So, I am not a Trump supporter and voted the other way, so I don’t confront the MAGA crowd either, I live with the results like we all have to. You can’t change, the results, so you adjust to them and carry on. Life is a mystery, as long as it stays one, I shall be fine and handle it accordingly. I just want to still live a full life, have fun, enjoy people again and not have to duck and dodge things or assholes so to say. Is that too much to ask, in a town the size of Westborough, Mass. here? I am not sure anymore, but I try anyway, sometimes failing for sure, to fit in. I am not a religious person and the town has numerous churches. The town has numerous banks and bars and taverns too, and I don’t drink much. So finding things to do is not easy here, for my age at least. I try to get involved in certain activities in my community here I like to do, like bowling once a week, playing pool once a week and Mexican train dominos twice a week.

Lets do a for instance, yesterday was my 69th birthday. What did I do for it. Lets see. I went to the mall and walked it fora bit and had lunch there alone. watched all the people walk by as I observed is all. Left there and came home, chatted on the internet again and then went for a ride in the evening to try to find a place I was told people were meeting in. I found it, got there, looked around for the people, couldn’t find them, thought the place was overcrowded, gave up looking and came home. End of my Birthday was watching tv once more alone. That’s just how my life goes these days at 69, mostly. grocery shopping once or twice a week is all I do now. I gave up, any hope of meeting anyone, I tried dating sites and such, they cost and they don’t always work out. Expensive at times and a waste it seems, for, what I get is most want money not a relationship. That it seems is what drive most not, companionship. But, het what’s one to do, but carryon, laugh, live and try to be friendly at least, in todays American Society.

Whats the deal folks here, in Massachuetts, Westboro, Worcester County,and area?


When I moved to Mass, from Connecticut after my wife passed, I thought it would be easy to meet others, talk to people and find a relationship, even at my age. I am 67, but not dead and I thought well, shouldn’t be too hard, to find a partner or companion here in Mass. I thought by moving here to Westboro, and a 55 plus community it would be fun and simple and there would be plenty to do.

Turns out it isn’t! Mass and Westboro and even this 55 plus community I live in, is filled with cliques and is boring. Now do not misinderstand me folks. The Condos I live in have a lifestyle Director, and events they plan monthly, including clubs for things to do. While playing billards is fun, as was being a part ofa bowling leagur/group, the rest seems to meto be built around cards, dominos and machong and things like that. Fun for many I am sure as is the Bingo once a month many attend, but, those are not for me and seem boring as hell.

So, I try to look for things to do outside of the condos I live in, around Westboro, but the town is not geared for those of us over 55. It reminds of a town I grew up in Connecticut here, it has banks, bars and churches, lol. Banks are good to have and i am not knocking them, churches are not my thing, I am not a religious man, and the bars/ taverns are not geared to the 55 plus crowd for sure all are young in the good ones. In many ways, I thought it would easy to find things to do, but, that is not the case.

It is a very clique area, and it is like being in high school once again. In many ways you need to fight to become a part of any group around here, or they ignore you. I know it sounds crazy, but it is true and i am not alone in thinking that. Others think that who live here too.

Now, let me clarrify something before people start saying it’s my own fault, it isn’t. Condo life is not geared to what many think it is before they move in here. There are all the stories of condo relationships happening and people jumping from one to another and having fun, not true. Here is something to consider for all who live in 55 plus condos like i do. 1) The ratio of women to men is approxiamately 65 percent to 35 percent. Now while that is nice to know it does not help the situation for me. Of the 35 percent of men who live here, most are married and in relationships already. That leaves few like myself who are single as men, due to divorce or being a widower. Second problem is that if you date one woman in such a situation, as this, and it does not work out, the man always gets blamed and it spreads like wildfire among the residents and women. If that happens then, you might as well sell the condo you bought here and find a new location to live, you will be cast out and ignored by all. I know it sound pessimistic and sad and negative, but you can’t argue with the truth of it.

Then, you find yourself in what I call a catch 22 situation here. For you, can’t cross the above mentioned line, so you turn to online dating sites. First they cost, second it’s hard to get someone through typing online. Most are reluctant, or fearful of meeting in person. If you do meet, the odds of finding a match you want to see again or get into a relationship is slim to none.

At 67 not many want to go sit in a pub, tavern or bar, to try to meet someone in my age range. Most in the pubs/bars. taverns are of the younger age ranges and ageism comes into effect, all the time. So, you do what I do, you mind your own, walk alot, read, watch tv and build puzzles and try to find hobbies to do. Lets face the facts, I know i do, the older you get the less people want you around,so you come to realize, there is no way to overcome it all. The real question becomes what to do, at times I walk the grounds and then the malls. I have driven around the area and, when you know nothing much you, find not much either. Basically, you end up, surrendering and just not trying anymore because you are lost and alone and feel stuck in that status and can’t get out of it.

So, I ask, all, is Msssachuetts a state filled with cligues, is it a state that is built just for the younger generations, and am I right and others who say it is boring here in Westboro and around here? Is Massachuetts a state that ageism is a factor in, where people are ignored and cast aside as they age? Whats the deal folks here, in Massachuetts, Westboro, Worcester County,and area?

I also wish to mention there is a loneliness syndrome happening in the State of Massachuetts, and it gets worse as you get closer to Boston. How do you break through all of the above?

What did you do, what would you do, and how did you face it all?


I have grown old really, in many ways, my back is bad, my neck is bad, I have PTSD, and my teeth are going. I am almost totally bald and I have outlived all my parents by many years now. I have done at least two of everything a man can do in life, yet, I know, my time is coming probaly soon enough. I am now 65, a Disabled Veteran and Cancer survivor myself.

My wife is hurt, ill and cancer ridden, and not with me now, I have a big four bedroom, three and a half bath home to clean out and I am alone to do so. I know she can’t come home, unless by some miracle they can shrink a growth or mass in her head without damaging her brain further. Her cognitive functions are lost, and she can not walk or stand now. They can’t even biopsy the mass, it is too deep in her brain to reach without damaging her. I don’t think even radiation can do it without hurting her worse.

My days now, are started by coffee and then feeding her cats, checking her plants, cleaning myself, then getting dressed to go see her and sit with her for 3 or 4 hours a day, till she gets tired, run down and falls asleep or is being worked by Physical, Occuptional and Speech specialists in a Rehabilitation Facility down the road from me. I remind her each day I see her, she has to stay in bed and she can’t walk, so she won’t fall again and hit her head.

28 Years of being together, 7 living together and 21 married and now I face this alone, really. Her Daughter and sister don’t fully understand or want to believe she won’t come home again or that she can’t come home, they hope beyond hope that she can, as do I, but I also have to face the reality of said situation and her said conditions, and know it is now time to be real and start to break down and clean up the home we built and get ready to move to a smaller place for myself. So much to go through, so much to get rid of or sell, or throw out, where, can I begin?

I guess I should start with lowering the cost to live. So the first things to do will be eliminating bills, and costly items of any kind. The cats will have to go, they cost food and time and in the end veternarian costs too. Then I have to eliminate bills, by cancelling what I can and saving money there. Then, I have to start in one place, go through box after box, in each room, pack up what is necessary and then dump what is garbage, I can’t use. Yet I hesitate to do so, because she is still alive, and if by some chance she wants something or needs something or gets to come home, even for a minute, do I want to have her see it all gone? So, I wait for official medical word on her conditions, before I can do anything, it is like being frozen, in time.

I hate growing old, I hate my predictament and hers too. Fate and God is now in charge not me. It is up to the Doctors, the Rehab Facility and in the end her body and mind if she can recover or not. I don’t want to remove her hope, or will to live, or tell her. What am I to do?

As we age we face impossible occurrences and situations as we go along, but none is more impossible, scarey, or frightening, then, this one. I have an inability to tell her, or mention it to her or even deal with it, even though I know, the facts, here. If I remove the cats, or her plants, throw stuff out and start the clean up phase, then I have to go through what stuff will her daughter want, her grandchildren, her sister too. And I have to go through what memories do I keep with me for the rest of my life if she can’t come home or the ultimate happens and she passes on?

It is hard to believe someone you love so much, care for so much, been with so much, depended on and who depended on you, is in such shape! I know it is not my fault she is in this condition and that what has happened to her has happened, now. I know that much, I also know I did all I could for 28 years for her, through her cancer, and so much more.

I find myself rewinding in my mind what I could have done better, what I could have done differently, did I do enough, did i make the right decisions? Did I do right by calling ambulances, hospitalizing her, putting her in Rehab and then bringing her home and then having to call 911 once more 60 days later, because it all, reoccurred?

Did I make the right choice in trying to keep her alive, or am I prolonging her pain and being selfish now? Am I hurting her more, than helping her, just to keep her alive, when I should let, her go? I don’t know, no one is giving me odds, or possibilities yet, so I hang on and replay all in my mind daily, wondering what to do next.

If I move forward and clean up the house, pack up all thats hers, and sell the house and move to a smaller place, I wil be saying goodbye to my last 28 years of marriage and my home and wife all at once. Can I do it and move on and how long do I wait to decide, I am afraid of doing it while she is still alive?

I call this Impossible decisions, sad times, I cry by myself behind closed doors, I show a brave face in public of course and around her. But, inside I am dying with her!

So I ask, those who have faced this with a dying spouse, those who have been in my position, what did you do, what would you do, and how did you face it all?

Sunday Funday and More


     Sunday as my baby sister would say, is Fun Day in the world. You relax, play games, and watch Television, you play with ones you love and have fun.  People rush to Church, make fresh coffee, read the paper and wish they had money to buy things from the ads. The women prepare to do cooking and clothes and the men play video games, fix things around the house and watch the games. Yes indeed, Sunday is Fun Day.

The end of the NFL Season is here men, it seems that time has come again. When the Playoff Picture is clearer for many teams and on the border for others, for some it will be win and you’re in, for others it will be your already in, let the fun begin, and for the rest well, next season will be next.

Major League Baseball produced a Champion in The Boston Red Sox this year of 2013. Then after the game the free agent market swept in and stole players from the team that won, once again. players getting millions of dollars to play a past time favorite, for all, especially kids of all ages. Yes Folks, Baseball, Football and even Basketball started out on the playgrounds of the world and all loved playing it for a while. It seems we all have our Fun days don’t we folks?

Sundays are also movie days for many, as they rent movies, go to the theatres and use Net Flix to look up the ones they missed.  What is the latest Adventure or Mystery Movies. or Sci-Fi flick we can all watch as family together?  We watch our movies with popcorn or treats in hand a drink by our side and a friend be it a woman or a man. The Pets run to and fro and watch us as we watch them go, and we do what we can to make joy and laughter once again. So yes, Sunday is indeed Fun Day for many!