I have wrestled with many decisions in my life, from the change in my childhood of how to behave and disappear, to my military endeavors over the 16 years and the decisions of what to do with my first marriage when it ended. The best thing to do about my daughters when my first marriage ended and what I felt proper for their safe keeping and growing up. It was the hardest decision I ever made, to leave them behind with their mother and grandmother and uncle, but my choices were few to none. I had no place to raise them in and no money to do it with, and I knew my ex-wife would raise them, I just didn’t know she would screw it up, which of course she did.

Now don’t misunderstand me, I love my daughters and always will till the day I die, but, my ex-wife used them to get revenge on me and that was sick.  she brainwashed my eldest into believing something that never happened and almost cost me twenty years of my life, by false accusations. The second daughter is selfish and a user of people, all she wants is money from me and calls me her ATM to friends and family, So, I have surrendered talking to her these days, after a confrontation on the phone with her husband.A man is limited by the courts on what he can do, or say about all of the above and I am sorry for that for my girls and for me.  For they will never understand, why I was gone and they will only understand what their mother and grandmother told them, that I abandoned them, that is bullshit. Yet, it is what they believe.  Maybe one day they will get it.

Onward and upward so to say, one day at a time is all one can do, with so many things in life to take care of and watch.My daughters and grandchildren are one part, the second is my second wife and her cancer and our daily life because of it. I take care of her all I can here at home, cleaning her and dressing her and feeding her and then transporting her to Doctors and tests. Plus I do all I can around the house to help her and myself live properly. It’s not easy, but life goes on. Each day is an adventure when you are not sure each day if your partner you love will wake up again. But life goes on anyway and the only one to mess with Mother Nature is Father Time so to say, and that has been one hell of a relationship in this world.God Bless all, for we have to keep going until we can not anymore for it is all we can do.

Will the Republicans react soon to President Trump’s plans and what he is doing with China,Germany and now Mexico?

61 years old is to me a life longer than I have ever expected to life, believe me. I survived many things.in my life, that others wouldn’t even.think of. I am not complaining OK just stating facts.

I always believed because of my lifestyle I would not make.it past forty. I think my decision to go military for all the time I could saved me  and made me a.better.person and.man. It helped me to mature and.slow down and think before acting. God Bless the Military for that.

Now, I sit patiently and.wait for my wife to takes shower, or to complete a doctor’s appointment for her cancer, and consider my self so lucky to have her. She supported everything I did from the day I met her. I will be here with her till the cancer takes her no matter what. I will always love her no matter what, even after she is gone.

Writing has become just fun for me and a way to relieve stress and tension and get out subjects I don’t discuss verbally, at times. relationships come in all forms and I have written about some of the ones in my life and others I have left out.

Other subjects include; romances, my daughter, and murder mysteries and just mysteries for younger folks. I did a How to one in my So, Ya Wanna Write Do ya!, I did some shorts, on my years in an institution and why I was there, such as The Chase and End, and The Children Center  of Hamden. Yet I am finding people don’t seem to read anymore or my work just isn’t good enough, which ever it is has slowed me down and basically began to discourage me in writing much more.

My latest one I did, I called Ms. Amazing’s Battle is all about my wife’s current fight with her cancer which has gone from breast cancer to bone cancer from 2006 to 2016, and how we are now on her third chemical concoction, and how we continue on to fight still.

While writing is a therapy for me and a pleasure to get it all off my shoulders and chest, I have also done books of poetry, two to be precise. Some Love poetry and some not, and all of my works can be found on my Amazon Kindle- Author’s Page-https://www.amazon.com/William-McCurrach/e/B00CQMGTSM/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

I have also tried memes to sell them and gifs, but I guess I am just not interesting enough to sell them or smart enough, so I also do this blog. Nothing works it seems to me, so I have ceased for now with all the writing and promoting of them and if they don’t sell I have no idea what to do next.

In closing today’s blog, I want to say this, I grew up in the 1960s and 1970s, times were different and so were people. Yesterday Mary Tyler Moore passed at 80 years old, sadly. Many of the legends and greats of entertainment have passed in the past few years, and it is a shame, for they not only acted and won awards they taught as they did. That was important to the generations of the 1960s and 70s, for it shaped many people and children back then. Good-Bye Mary Tyler Moore and May You Rest in Peace.

William M. McCurrach

 

 

We shall have to live with the choice of Donald Trump as President, and pay for the mistake so many Americans have made , by voting for him and so many Electors did too. In the end it is only for four years and any executive orders he signs to change things can be revoked by the next President. So we shall see just how much damage this man can do in four years.

As to my writing, well my decision to hold off releasing anything more to the public at this time is going to stick for a good long time i think. I must admit I am disappointed in the fact, my little stories do not sell, at all. I guess writing shorts, is for jack London only or Steinbeck ! Seems the only thing that may sell is my reputation period, going down the tubes. Sadly, I guess, I shall have to do what Donald Trump should and Hillary Clinton did, ya can’t win or lose and not believe it, right? Comes a time when one must accept the facts and surrender, or keep banging my head against a stone wall it seems for no reason, other than to write for my own pleasure.

Next subject, I am 61 years old today, and now officially have hit the years in life I thought I would never reach.  I am proud of my life so far, I have accomplished things and overcome things many may never do. First off, I have out lived both of my parents who died at 55 and 59 years old respectfully. I have paid off not one but two mortgages between the first and second marriages, I so far survived lung cancer, since 2012, when it was discovered in me. I have honorable discharges from The U.S. Army, U.S. Army national Guard, and three more from the United States Navy. I completed the only college degree, in my family , in 2007, in Hotel and Restaurant Management with the Honors of Alpha Beta Gamma and Phi Theta Gamma, and awards from the school too. Not bad for a man who just turned 61 huh?

I also have two daughters full grown, redheads, 4 grandchildren by them too, two girls and two boys, and two step-children twins by my second wife’s daughter. I think I did OK, if you ask me.  As to the future I know not what may be next, but I do know I am taking it one day at a time is all.

My wife’s cancer which has gone from breast cancer in 2006 to bone cancer in 2016 ten years later and her fight with it continues for us both. Each day she wakes up and survives is a blessing to me, and we share each day well with conversations and laughter and smiles. She is now 76 years old and I am 61, yes I married a woman 16 years my elder and have never regretted it.  I know I shall cry and miss her when the ultimate happens, but, I will never regret one second with her.

Ok  For today I shall leave you with links to my latest short stories and hope you have it in your hearts to try them for the cheap prices I have put them up for sale at on Amazon’s Kindle E-Books:

                      Thanks for reading my blog, and you can consider any purchases you may make of my books, a donation to my wife’s fight against cancer!

Thanks:

William M. McCurrach

Seems to me, President Trump is lost in saying there were 2 to 5 million illegal voters in the election. If he is smart he.will shut up and accept his win.  He just.has.to face the fact, Hillary is.more popular than he is and move on. Silly bastard.is being 100 percent stupid !.

Every  story I write or tell starts with a basic idea and grows from there, most of mine are about murder, mysteries or love and a few about child abuse and growing up.

They all seem to be a way for me to let out inner feelings and emotions trapped inside me, over time, in my life. And once I get them out into a story I usually relax and take a deep breath and move on, do other writers, I don’t know.

I do know I get frustrated, because people don’t read them much and I am not selling any it seems. Must be either my language, topic or the fact I am not a professional writer at all, but a disabled veteran just trying to do something for myself and my wife. Whatever the reason they don;t sell, I have tried to find a way to sell them believe me, I just think it’s time to surrender to the idea they won’t sell.

I will never be Doris Kearns Goodwin, Dan Brown, Robert Ludlum or Stephen King that is for sure, but at least I try and maybe one day someone will like what I wrote who knows when. I write because I need something to do as a disabled veteran and because I feel the need to tell stories and create them. That  is alI write for I hope that is understandable for all.

Shall I continue to write, even if they don’t sell, most likely I will for it is therapy for me and gives me something to do. But will I publish anything anymore I am beginning to doubt that one for I know as sure as I sit here no one reads them or cares.

 

 

 

Today is the 23rd of January and I wonder how our brand new President is doing and thinking about the job he took, now?

As the world turns and places burned and people die, we all have to sit and ponder and wonder why? That the truth these days, I just hope all Americans, have paid off their mortgages and bills, and are saving money the best they can. If not then you didn’t heed my advice, before the election, in November.

Next subject folks, as a Disabled American Veteran, I find myself in a state of being able to do only so many things these days. I am not as physically fit as I was in my younger days when I gave my body and mind to my country, to serve it for sixteen years. So I not doing many things physically I used to do. So I have to find, different things to busy my mind and take up my time and writing is it these days. I take ideas from out of my memory and turn them into stories on paper or as word documents and hope they sell. I am not a great writer, but I try to tell my stories in such a way that all can read them if they wish and I hope enjoy them.

Will I sell any, I have no idea really, I try by posting them in Kindle E-books for sale, the purpose is not to get rich folks, my purpose is to say something and get the stories out, and help my wife and myself survive we are both cancer victims.

My wife God Bless Her, is a cancer victim since 2006 when breast cancer hit her and I sat through her radiation and cancer treatments back them, side by side with her. Then she went into remission and now ten years later here it is again back, but this time not just breast cancer, but it has spread to her bones, bone cancer.

I went through lung cancer myself in 2012, and had a lobe and 1/3rd of my right lung removed, so I could survive. I am doing OK , right now, but cancer can come back in many ways and forms. So I shall see, what happens next for me. My concern is not me folks, it is my wife, as I watch her battle on afraid to take chemical concoctions  the Doctors have put together for her to survive I wonder how much more can her body and mind and spirit take?

I wake up each day, and wait a few seconds before I get out of bed to see or hear if she is still with me, each day. Is she breathing, is she moving, all I can do is hop she is ! Once she moves or I hear her breathing, I know she will be with me another day. That is how life goes here one day at a time, one moment at a time. when she comes down for the day and has her morning tea and tries to get her stuff done she always does in her routine and then heads for the lazy boy recliner, she bought for me, originally and passes out, I wonder again will her eyes open once more and she suddenly pops back to life with her eyes wide open. Looking around like she forgot where she is, till it registers with her she is home and safe with me. I watch her, I try to care for her, I clean for her, I water her plants, I clean her cats boxes, I help her dress and I stand by while she takes a shower in case she needs help, and at times I wash her and her hair. I help her dress, and take her to Doctors, because she can not drive anymore and I wonder and wonder more about how long she may have left. Do I know, do the Doctors know as her aches and pains grow in her joints and bones and she struggles to stop hurting, and to get around. she is stubborn, persistent and I love her can do attitude, for she has never given up. we have been together now, going on twenty five years and I know I love her today as much as I did when I met her.

                     Anyway, just so ya all know, my story of Ms. Amazing’s Battle is all about her and I and our struggles and determination together against Cancer the deadly disease. So I have posted it with all the rest of my short stories on Amazon’s kindle E-Books for sale to see if I can help make our ends meet the battle so to speak. I hope some will see my stories and if not for the way I write or the words I put sown, but for our fight against cancer will buy some. So Thanks for Reading my Blog and I hope some of my blogs and stories you are enjoying!!

William Mark McCurrach