As we go through life, we have our ups and downs, our choices we make, make our lives go round so to say.

We all make mistakes and I have made more than a few in my life. I have to admit, not every decision I made in my 69 years was correct and i don’t think anyone else, my age or around my age has either.

I can list the mistakes I made in my lifetime, very easily. To do so is to sit back and review the years I have lived through, and the decisions that made me who I am today.

The first decision I regret, is not bein able to slow down and think things out before acting. I couldn’t change that fact as I grew up because I suffered from and still do today, Hyper-Activity and Attention Deficiet Disorder. In the 1960’s they called it emotionally damaged. They had no idea what was wrong till many years later.

The second decision I regret is, never being close to or accepted my parents, whom I argued and fought with all my childhood.

The third decision was instea dof fighting back when beaten upon by the parents I had an dmy older sibling I let it happen, until I finally, left.

Now, decisions and mistakes are many in life my friends, and i must admit I had my share. I made a big mistake when I dropped out of High School in my Junior year. It put me in a postion, of no diploma and having to go to work for a living. My parenst demanded I work,to pay my way if I was not in school. I did get a GED Diploma the following year.

I regret not speaking up to a girl I knew and telling her how I felt, about the sametime in my life. She went on to get married and i went on to the service. I never pursued any girls really in my life, what I did was associate with them and let them decide. Sadly, I am still that wya today, and females believe if tyou do not approach or pursue them, your not interested. So I lose on on that one too.

Mistakes i made include the first Military experience i had when I joined the U.S. Army. It didn’t work out for me and i returned home after a Trainee Discharge due to my step-father’s health and more.

I survived it though and went on to the Army National Guard and then The U.S. Navy. In total I have 5 Honorable Discharges to my name. 16 total years in service which ended when I fell and fought to stay in the Navy, but was finally discharged under a Medical Under Honorable Discharge.

Some have asked if I madea mistake when I married my first wife. Not relaly folks, we were fine until, I was discharged from the Navy and the money dried up. we had two of everything for 10 years before we seperated, including two daughters. so no, it wa snot a mistake, but, the divorce was not my fault either so. Life went on.

When I found my second wife, I was lucky she saved me. I moved in with her, and got the VA to send me back to school. I graduated with an Associates Degree in Hotel Management witha 3.7 average. But working would not happen due to my back injuries even though I tried.

28 Years with my second wife was a blessing and I would never trade a second of it, for anything out there. I loved her dearly God Bless her soul. I lost her to breast cancer in 2021. I hospiced her at home in the end.

Once that was done, I found myself at 65 years old looking for a new life and needing help. My siser stepped in and gave me that and i thank her for it, everytime I get the chance.

I moved from the home I had, I soold it. I moved north to Massachuetts to be near my sister. I bought a condo in a 55 plus community. In my opinion while it is a nice condo, it is not really for a man like me, but I won’t sell and move, too much trouble to do so.

The move here is maybe the biggest mistake I made in my life. Why, simply put I don’t fit in and never will. I don’t play Bingo, or go to the Swimming Pool or attend events here. I don’t like crowds and I suffer from PTSD on top of all else I have medically.

For me, this is the loneliest I have ever been in my life. I find some people rude, some mean and indifferent here. I know I am not everyone’s cup of tea and no one is, so I try to keep to myself, mind my own is all. I don’t chase women so the widowers and divorcess here are safe from me. never pursued of chased women, not my thing. If i ende dup with a woman, it was the two I did, because they basically came after me.

In the end mistakes I have made, I live with and have no choice really. So these days I live in mostly silence and alone except for a few things I do. I play Billards with some folks on Monday evenings, on wdenesdays and Fridays I bowl some, and Wednesday evening will find me playing dominos. Otherwise I stay alone and talk to very few. I find, many don’t like my sense of humor, or they don’t like my personality, so alone i shall stay. I have neve rbeen a burden, or imposed on anyone i my life for any reason, I shall not start now, at 69, heading to 70 years old.

I am proud of my accomplishments, My marriages, my daughters, my grandchildren. I am proud of my time in Service too. I keep my Awards to myself, my Honor Societies too. My life isa simple one these days. Play Billards, Bowl, Dominos, walk some if capable, read, write my poetry and stories and blogs, build puzzles and watch TV and Movies. I ask no one for anything and never have in my life. I live day to day, and see my Doctors when needed an dtake my medications. It’sa simple life for sure, and I am guessing, the move here to this condo is the last one. As I told my sister, I shall die in this condo, it is where they shall find me. Just do me the favor of having e cremated an dburied with my second wife, all is prepared.

As I age, I have run into a trend, that I am falling into. It’s a trend of isolation and loneliness, that I find myself doing. Some say oh, get out more, have more fun, then I try to, and bam, right back to the trend I go. Why, simply put, society these days is non-accepting, cruel, mean spirited and angry. While I will always love this country, I did defend it for 16 years, in three branches of the military, I will never understand, why it has become as it is.

The anger is frothing at the top of the glass so to say. There is the anger of the American President, the anger over him being President, of his followers, and his maga call. There is the anger of political hate, racisim, segregation, predijuce and discrimination. There is fear among people for many reasons, from going broke, to being homeless and jobless, in a country that hasn’t had that since before World Wars happened.

Yes, we have electronic advances, yes we have medical advances and more, but what we do not have, is the attitude and knowledge of how to bring all Americans along for the ride. You can improve material belongings all you wish, but if you can’t make it affordable or accessable to all, it will cause pain, suffering and more, anger. The anger, pain and suffering is coming to the top of American society as a whole and frothing over, and spreading slowly. It is a sad state of affairs to see folks.

The differences between generations, styles, and attitudes is sad to witness in my opinion. The last great generation is indeed the one born in my era, the 1950’s. We were handed the greatest society in the world, with the greatest economy in the world, by the hardest working parents ever. While we tried through the 50’s, 60. and 70’s to expand on it and make it all inclusive, we lost sight of it. We lost discipline, we lost vision, we lost durability and most of all we lost cohesiveness as a people and nation. Divisions begen to show in America as never before starting in the 1980’s.

Those divisions between the have and have nots and the color lines are now blurred, hazy and in plain sight for the world to see. I wish it wasn’t so, but it is folks. Can it be healed and where would America start, to do so? That is the major question is it not?

It started in my opinion with the lackadasilale way parenting went. Children were given gaming consoles to babysit them. They were ignored and not raised properly by parents who thought they themselves were abused, but were not really. The old talk to your child came into effect in the 1980’s, brought on by what I call the Cosby Syndrome. No hitting a child to discipline them. The line, was put in place by such sitcoms on tv and followed by Americans since. So, today we now have higher crime rates, more undisciplined children, have become adults who now break laws and society norms like they never existed. It is just a fact in american society now. Look around and you see it everyday.

Children running around aimlessly in stores away from their parents, acting out. Teenagers who put piercings and tattos all over their faces and bodies. angry fights in bars and taverns, people shooting others just to get attention. It happens daily now in the 2020’s. We are into 2025 and almost at the halfway point of it, and the violence is peaking, the anger is peaking, people are mad all the time. Does anyone ever stop to wonder why, and how to change it all? No, we keep at it, like spoiled children trying to get our way. In the end that selfishness, anger and stubborness is killing America. It is killing what may go down in history as the greatest society known to man.

Empires of the past have traveled this road to destruction before us folks. Ask the Incas, Aztecs, the Romans, The Germans and others. History shows what I am saying to be true. All fell from the great heights they achieved over years. Why, because they became self-absorbed, self contained, believed they were better then the world, and they were proven wrong. They allowed themselves to become what they believed was better then the rest. In the end it was their downfall folks. Stop and Think, how Inca and Aztec and Roman and even German Dictators and leaders and empires crumbled. we are on the same course folks, unless we stop it. Can we, that is the real question, is there a voice loud enough and strong enough to wake up the modern American Society to what can come next and stop it before it happens? Or will America, end up a page in a history book of the world, as the once proudest and most powerful empires ever, that eventually crumbled and disappeared into history as what once was? You tell me, Americans, can we maintain and better the country and society we have, or we are now at a point of no return and a crumbling of the best there ever was.? Have we lost sight of the pride, distingusment and honor of our forefathers, Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, Adams and more? They believed in a better America, a free America, built for one and all, not an isolated America, not an angry America. How did we get here Americans, and how do we step back, and recover and make it work, instead of destroying what our forefathers put forth for us? You tell me Americans, please! For as we are going, and I am now in the later stages of my life, we may see America, crumble, fall and disappear a sthe once bright shinning star and example it always was. If that happens what comes next for the world, who will replace us, China, Russia, or a communistic world? Will Democracy and Republics cease to exist? Only history and time can give us our answers, ladies and gentlemen, for it wil go as good or as bad, as we the Americna People let it, unless we change it and save it.

Ever stop to think back on life as you have lived it so far. How family interactions of lack of them, attributated to who you are? Or how Friend sinfluenced who you have become? Or maybe how lack of interection made you who you are too?

Or maybe you have thought back over your life and seen what made yo, the best you are and who the people who helped make that so. Anyway you look at it, life can not be blamed on just existence, or being born, it can not be limited to parental guidance either. It can be attributated to, how your react to situations and what you learned to believe from others. Some of us stop, think before we react or do something. Some don’t, some jusyt instantly react on the spot, out of misunderstanding or emotional reactions. No two people are the same are they?

Some of us are emotionally unstable, others are stable but controlling. Yet others, wing it as they go along and react to each situation and person differently. While I believe in a stable person and situation, I walk away from unstable, angry, mean or vindictive people. I also avoid, unecessary conflist at all cost. We grow old and learn how to be careful, by the experiences we live through folks.

We try to meet requirements of jobs we hold, and relationships we are in, but, at times we can not do so, at all times. So Jobs get lost, relationships end and we find ourselfs, searching all over again. It is just a fact of life in modern current America and the world. We seem to make decisions on a more emotional basis then we do base don logic and common sense. When we lose sight of the logic, common sense, educated approach we get lost in the deep grass so to say, and things go haywire so to say. Things get out of control and, haphazard then, don’t they? I have seen it, lived through it and learned, have you?

Each day I see, shootings on tv, unwanted violence and anger, and so much more. Politics had gotten violent and angry, the economy is unstable, education is being shut down and eliminated, people are losing medicaid, medicare and social security, and so much more. The homeless rates and jobless rates climb. What happened to the world we used to have in America folks?

I can still remember jobs being plentiful. families being united, the nation united and working as one, as a we, we, we society. We have gone from one nation of citizens united for the good of all, to a me, me, me society and screw anyone else, the individual comes first. Why?

Where will we get our teachers, scientist, Doctors, Lawyers from if we have no Education System and guidance from our governement? Does anyone know? Where shall the elders go for medical help, or social assistance to survive? How do people pay for medical help, mental and physical if needed? people paid into Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security all their working lives, now, it is being slowly taken away and they are being left with nothing to lean on as we age. Why?

Americans, the rich are getting richer, by taking it out of your pocket and leaving you broke and struggling. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer and the middle income fight to suvive by working more hours. Is it right? How come Senators and representatives have great healthcare and you don’t? How come they get raises every year and you don’t? Why is the American Stock Exchange tanking daily and no one reactiong to it? How far can anyone let it go before, we react and stop it folks?

The only way, we the American People truly have a say in how our economy and country goes, is by the election process folks. If we leave it all one sided as it is now, we lose! You must fight back, if we don’t, we lal lose. Vote so the House and Senate is equal so it balances. All of one party or the other unning the show, drives us down a road we do not want or need to go. The Mid-term elections wil come soon enough, when it does Americans, stop and think how much less you have, how much lower your pay chacks are, and benefits go by. Think about how you have to fight to pay to keep a home, for food, clothing and to live daily. Think of how your benefits an dthe pric eof healthcare is rising. We need politicians and leaders who think more about the poor and middle class, then the rich and themselves. We need to change the makeup of Congress to protect oirselves and our nation as a whole. One sided does not work folks.

The days when this country was at it’s best, are behind us it seems. They were the days when American was run by and controlled by and for the middle class. The factory workers, the truckers, the farmers were protected, they made America Great. Not The Rich Politicians of this country, who sit in a seat in Congress, get richer, give themselve tax breaks and steal your benefits. Wake up folks, unless we change Congress, we lose. We have gone as I said from a we, we, we society, to this me, me, me society, and as we did, we lost sight of what made America Great, the All for One attitude, we lsot it folks and that is sad.

As we age, we face certain things, eventually, that we have no choice in. Loses, like the death of a loved one, not having the money to live like we want. Or other items, of which there are many. The biggest is probably the health issue, physically and mentally. Our bodies and minds slowly go down hill folks and we all know it, and we resist it of course and fight back. Our body shows it’s signs by limiting what we do, not allowing the same movements it once did before. Mentally we lose track of time, appointments, and people and we start to isolate, due to those things. We also start to isolate out of fear, a tiredness of being downplayed, denied, or told we are not wanted. So we isolate, because we grow to believe we are not wanted or needed anymore, so we stop participating in life.

A lesson for many to learn also as we age is to try to keep the mind healthy and strong. So we read, we write, we talk to who we do like no matter how few they may be. I have been down this road now for a while. I avoid people, I can’t handle. I don’t like constant put downs, ribbing and picked on, and I don’t think anyone does. we tend to put up with it to fit in, because most do it. But after a while it wears on a person. So as it did on me, I stopped participating and disappeared from public life basically. Even when I go walking nowadays I avoid people, I don’t talk to them. Cuelity is a big part of american society these days. Our society has indeed gone from a we,we, we society, to a me, me, me society and screw anyone else, I got my piece and thats it, and not caring what happens to someone else.

I guess I was brought up in a different world than most. I grew up with two agry parents, who beat us kids to get us inline, as they said. It wa stheir way of correcting and controlling the five of us. Violence became a daily thing for me, when I was young. If I had a problem in school, my parents stopped going in to talk to teachers. I was suspended in high school in my jumnior year. When that happened, high school was not for me anymore, I was sent to work to pay my own way. It would take a year of working till I finally, said enough and gota GED diploma. when I did I jumped into the military services to get away from home.

What the services did was find the faults I had and problems I had and point me in the right direction. I was always a problem child so to say, but what do you expect when your are born with hyperactivity, attention deficiet disorder. I Overcame both with out drugs. I also have PTSD from childhood beatings and military life now. Yet I persisted and am still alive. While the military gave me discipline and direction, and an education, it also led me to a slower life,

I slowed down and got myself under control and lasted 16 years in the military. I was married had two of everything, including daughters. Amazingly, it worked for a 12 year marriage, that ended in divorced as my military career went down. 6 herniated discs in my spine and bam I wa sout of the military. I had to find my way once more.

I found a way and a woman I loved for 28 years that I married. we shared our lives, our love and we grew together as we said we would in our wedding vows. I had 28 years of a marriage I would never give one minute up of. Now, I am alone again, I lost the woman, I loved dearly to cancer. It was rough in more ways than one.

Like I said, we all face things we can not avoid in life, lose of jobs, friends, family, loved ones. How do we overcome and carry-on is always the answer, is it not? In my case I tried hard to just hang on and reset each time. The last reset after my wife passed was started at 65 years old for me. I have come to the conclusion there will be no more relationships for me. I gave up searching for a woman to be with. Simply put the effort seems to be immpossible, so many things come into play. The dating scene in this day and age is crazy. Dating apps on the internet are not worth paying for. I came to the conclusion, I would no longer pursue a relationship with any woman. I am old, set in my ways, not pretty or handsome, and at times crnky, and cantankerous. LOL! Women look, and probe slightly, and i shut them down fast and walk away. I will not impose myself on a woman, or be a burden to anyone! if I do something and try to participate in an event where ilive and i feel uncomfortable or unwated, I leave. I can’t handle large crowds anymore, I get antsy, I get hyper, I get distracted. some have old me to join in more, my response is always no thank you. I do small groups, yes, I play billards on monday nights, go bowling with a small group here, and do a senior bowling league once a week now.

Destiny, fate, who knows for sure folks. I just know the older I get the more I avoid people. Americans are cruel, mean spirited it seems, due to the climate we live in socially. The American society is slipping away from we, we, we to me, me, me and screw you. There is no doubt in my mind for sure these days. People deported off our streets without due process, arguements over how we protect our borders. Attacks on Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. Confrontations over tarriffs with over countries, our withdrawal from the world as a whole is sad. We used to be the protector, the defender, the leader of the world. Now, we are looked upon as a failure in world politics. Our neighbors are mad at us, our allies are mad at us, and in the end, our own President doesn’t care. What is to become of America’s future or mine well, I do not know. I am 69 years old now, I have lived through presidents since Eisenhowser, thru Kennedy, Johnson, and all in between to Trump for a second term. Sadly, I have never seen anything like what is happening today in our world. Like I said, things will happen, time will move on and eventuality take place, we can’t change it all, but, if americans, look, listen and learn they can change the direction we are heading to. yet, we are blinded by certain things, predijuce discrimination, fears and more. It is a direct reflection of the society we live in, when you run into people like me.

May 15th, 2025, Thurday and half of May is done as of today. Rain falls more often these days here in Westborough, Mass. than in the last three years since I moved here, it seems. Gray and dreary, wet is all we get. At least it seems so lately.

As Today starts, my thoughts go to things some may not think of, everyday and in every interaction with others. Look, I know we all build protective layers and defend ourselves, I know, we are sometimes too busy to realize what we are saying of doing, but, can we at least slow down, and stop and think before we say or do something? I ask this because I have run into some people and things said, I just shake my head at and go, does this person realize what they are saying and to whom they are saying it?

I am far from perfect in anyway. I have my flaws, I have my inabilities, I have my highs and my lows. We all do folks, but, I try very hard to listen to othe rpeople, and to consider what I am saying. Now, I know ribbing and ball busting is a thing we all do, but, conside rthe fact we are not all the same, may not be able to take it.

I say this as a person who has disabilities, as a Veteran, which range in nature from the physical, 6 herniated discs in my spine, to the mental of PTSD and Attention Deficiet Disorder and Hyperactivity. With these things constantly going on in my mind and brain and physical discomfort on and off, I try to survive in life and get along with others. I have been told I should join in more activities, well, I don’t because of all I just said here. I feel uncomfortable in large crowds, I feel pressure or pushed. I feel like I don’t fit in. I get told to be quiet, calm down, shut up, or behave or not laugh too loud. I have lived with thes ethings all my life and i am old now and sometimes just can’t handle it. There are times when I walk away, shake my head and don’t turn back. I look at people at times and wonder what the hell did I do, for you to treat me this way? I know some will not understand what I am saying, but, it needs to be said to the world and humanity in general.

Even in small groups at times i see things others don’t, feel things others don’t. I get the messages different than most and feel the rejection faster than most. Why becaus eit is built into me over years and years of living through it. Let me say this to some who may read this, people you need to consider, that there are people like me, with disabilities an dproblems you shouldn’t say certain things to, or treat in certain ways. In my case i don’t get violent, havent, since i was a child, I choose to walk away and not turn back around. If you insult me and I think your serious, I am done with you, if you tell me to shut up, calm down, don’t laugh or get too loud, I am done. If you tell me in anyway, that I am not wnated somewhere, or needed anywhere, or not liked anywhere i leave, it’s that simple. Yes, I have been told I am overly senistive and touchy, but, your not living my life with my conditions are you? No I am, and some conditions you can not heal or change. You can’t change herniated discs unless you get an operation that won’t paralyze you. You can’t change PTSD from childhood and service years. You can’t shut down Hyperactivity or Attention Deficiet Disorder either, you can take drugs they may give you, or live with the conditions i mention and adjust the best you can. That is what I do folks. I am not crying over it, I am just letting people know, not all of us who walk this planet are normal, many of us have problems you can not see, or realize. People need to stop and think before they run off at the mouth, because, they are hurting people without knowing it. It’s not good folks, if someone with my conditions, does not have good self-control, someone can get severely hurt. I learned self-control by the time I was 12 years old, I had to have it taught to me, by professionals. For at time I would lost it and bad things would happen. I overcame, so now I walk away, I control the emotions the best I can and walk away, I don’t lash out verbally or physically anymore.

If I look at you and go, OK, if you wnat me gone just sya so, I mean it. I will get up and leave, rather than stay where i am not wanted. I will not ever over burden, be a burden, impose or hurt another, knowingly. I don’t work that way, I don’t have the insenistivity to it all, that others have. I guess it is all associated with my mental and physical and emotional problems I have had all my lifetime. So, I walk away, I avoid large crowds, I walk alone, to make myself feel right and not out of place. If i don’t feel like i belong or I feel like I am not wanted as a part of a group, I leave, it’s simple. and in the end best for all around me and me. I do so to preserve myself and not to harm or hurt others.But, not many people can see that, is all. They judge me as too senistive, or not conforming, not not likeable. To them I wil say what many other sin history and overtime have said, Do not Judge a book by it’s cover folks, please don’t. Stories of life’s and times come in many different versions, from poems, to songs, to stories, each come in their own covers, whethe rthey be soft covers or hard covers. But, as we all realize when reading, not all covers give the full story, you can read or understand. So, don’t judge a book by it’s cover, you will be sorry.

As we go through life, we make mistakes, we make errors, but, some we don’t realize until later and than it is far too late to change them. We rush into things and make decisions we later regret, of that there is no doubt, for some of us it is marriage, or divorce and for others it is job choices,, school choices or partner choices also. Life is not perfect and we male decisions based on what? 1) What we have been told or advised of. 2) Lack of care 3) Being foolishly happy or joyful in the moment. 4) Peer Pressure and finally, we make choices based on, others opinions or desires or wants or needs, not our own. 5) The worst decisions we make come from situtaional predictaments. Like a spouse died, or a parent died, or a severe incident happened. All of the above is why bad decisions happen in one’s life, and we later learn to regret them, yet learn to live with them.

Personally, all of us, have regrets. we have regrets of not listening to our parents, we have regrets of things we did, we should never have done. We regret relationships, we thought were great and turned out bad. Or decisions to move, or live somewhere. We sometimes regret what we bought, or what we threw away also. What makes this happen though is, not stopping, thinking it out and then, making the proper decision by looking at the entire circumstances surrounding it all.

I have told many people in my past, we all make mistakes and some look at me like I am crazy, I am not. Mistakes are actually things we learn from as we grow up, mature and settle into the lifestyle we have as adults, parents and senior citizens over time. I have made many decision I regret and look back today and wish I had done differently. Life is complicated folks, and we all, make snap decisions, or quick decisions or improper ones we must, live with later on in life.

I have made some myself I regret more than others of course just like you. I know, one of the biggest mistakes I made is how I am living right now. I live in a 55 plus community in Westborough, Mass. here. I came here after my wife passed from cancer, because my family and friends advised me to. Also, because I felt I had no choice but to get out from under a big home I owned with my wife, because I couldn’t live in the place she passed in.

I have learned since moving here as a widower, people are cruel, mean spirited and as I see it, non-caring about anything but themselves. So I tend to stay alone, protect myself and it is a lonely life. I live it because, it is better to stay alone, then get told to shut up, or don’t laugh, or you make too much noise or, told i said something wrong to someone else. I have also, learned as I age people get set in their ways, and they are not about to change or accept anyone different, in their lives, they don’t have to. They have their income and homes and families, and it doesn’t matter what I have or don’t have to them. So, I keep to myself.

Condo living is for me, like being caged in a 956 square feet cage. You can roam it alone, you can pace it, clean it, and eat and dress in it is all. You sleep in it and, thats it folks. So in the end you pace it, look out it’s windows or doors, and avoid contact with others. At least that is what I do. I will walk the stairs for four floors at 69 going on 70 in six months, to avoid people. Why, because you never know what mood they are in and how they will act or talk to you. I don’t want anger, I don’t want nasty, I don’t want people telling me what to do or how to do it either. Suggestions I am open to of course, but don’t force anything on me and I won’t do it to you, is my stance.

When I moved in in 2022, I thought I had the perfect place to live out my remaining years. A place to talk to others in my own age range, to interact and have fun as I get older. It is not what I have found here. I have found rudeness, impolite people, angry people and upset people. Kindness is rare in this life and this neighborhood really. Since 2022 when I moved in, I do only very few things here in my community. I play billards once a week for fun, I go bowling once a week with a few people here, and then bowl in a Senior league. Then, I play dominos once a week now for fun. I gave up the second time of playing dominos because people would tell me I am too loud, make too much noise, laugh too much and they can’t concentrate to play the game. So, I said ok concentrate all you want, I am out. Otherwise I read, I write, I watch television, movies, or Utube. I build puzzles is all, or I walk when I can. I will walk a mile to avoid people here, because they are upset, or angry. I don’t want it near me, and I am not the social animal others are around me. Some have the ability to take criticism and brush it off, and carry on, I do not. I don’t mind being told I am wrong, I just can’t handle people, who act like they know it all. Nor can I handle people who don’t listen well. I am at 69 a lifetime sufferer of Attention Deficiet Disorder and Hyperactivity. I also suffer from PTSD from childhood and the Service. I will walk away from a fight faster than you can turn your head and cough. It’s me. I can’t handle large crowds, so you won’t see me at big events at anytime. Conversations move too fast for me, and I get confused in those circumstances.

I have some regrets in my life like many others do. I regret the fact there was a girl I never told I cared about. I regret not being closer to my daughters, from my first marriage. But, in the end, I regret I think the most, moving in such a 55 plus community like this that I did. I find it boring, and full of angry people, who suddenly go off on others for no reason. I also, hate when this happens. Look, folks we are 55 and up here in the community, live by the rule of it please. Pick up after your dogs, don’t damage property, or common areas. Be peaceful and be polite. Manners come into play and if you don’t like a conversation, or what is said, step back and drop out of it, not argue over it. We are no longer young folks, we should know better.

I feel at 69, I shall probably be alone for the rest of my life. I don’t look for a lover, or friend with benefits anymore. I am too old to care folks. I like women I do, I just do not have the patience, to go through building another relationship and trying to make it work. As I said we are now over 55, and set in our ways, we do not want to change who we are. we want to be ourselves and live in peace, so, as I told one person, I know damn well, I am not everyone’s cup of tea so to say, but, teas come in many flavors and blends, if you don’t like it, try another. But don’t hold it against me, if I don’t fit what you want. and I won;t hold it against you in return. I know as a widower who also was divorced once, that not all relationships work out, and I don’t expect them to. Neither should you. lets live and let live, lets laugh and let laugh, let’s cry and let them cry. As life goes on there will always be, ups, downs,loves and regrets. lets just work to make it easier for all of us, please.

Good Morning World! It is May 6th, 2025 already and yes time does march on, even if we don’t forever. As we all know, humanity like all other species of life, has a life span, we know not how long it may be. Yet, some of us spend it wondering, wandering, hoping and thinking. Others of us find something we love to do, or someone we love to love and do the best we can. In each case or circumstance, we tend to use our experiences in life, to figure out what to do next. Do we take a chance, do we bodly step out and meet new people, do new things? Some do, some don’t folks, and some are like me, they hold back, stay away from others as much as possible and watch from a distance. Only venturing out now and then, to take a chance, using what we know, to protect ourselves from dangers and more.

Believe it or not, some have instincts and do better than others. some have no instincts and must learn by making mistakes. The world is complicated and so is humanity. Animals go by pure instincts and can not talk, so they communicate by their actions. Humans can communicate but some lack common sense, logic, morals and ethics. Thus we end up with corruption, crime and people being hurt or killed. Mankind is indeed the only species on the planet that destroys it’s own enviroment, it’s own world and it’s own society, over time. It seems, people for one reason os another don’t stop to go why am I doing this or that, that do so on impulse folks. Those impulses, can destroy, hurt, harm and damage others, the enviroment and the world. Stop folks, think, it’s easier to get along then to carry on and hurt all around. We all need our enviroment, we all need each other, and family and friends to survive. No man or woman is an island unto themselves, nor is any country an Island unto to itself in our big world.

As time marches on for me and I get older by the day, I tend to watch all around me. I watch the climate changes, the enviroment changes and deal with them. Societial changes come next, and as they happen, I tend to avoid mean, angry, nasty, picky people. I tend to avoid those who refuse to allow others to be themselves, or to laugh, or to talk. I have a firm belief folks, that if you can’t accept me for being me, and allow me to be me, then I don’t need to be around you. The world and society, does not bend around one person, it never has in mankinds existenance folks. We bend and fit in it, not it for us. So we deal with life each day when we open our eyes and breath each morning. when we get up and out of bed, when we eat, drink and talk and interact. We adapt to loneliness if needed, we adapt, to financial destruction or fortune. We adjust to those around us, by either interacting with them, or walking away from them. we can’t change people’s attitudes, or mental state, we know not what cause, how some are, so we do, what is best for each of us, those we love, and avoid the bad and look for the good.

We are taught as children what is right or wrong, what morals and ethics we should use, we are taught manners and curtisies, we are taught what is funny, what is sad, what is healthy or is not. We get taught in schools, basics, and more. It is how we are taught at home by our parents or in schools, that makes us who we are. Not all are treated the same, not all react the same, and in the end, not all, turn out great or brillant, or rich and talented. But, we do learn basics, and it is how we use what we are taught, that makes our lives, what they are for each of us.

If you are abused, you tend to abuse others, if you get angry, there is a reason. If you get sick, we tend to blame mother nature. In the end, outside influnences come into play and change us, each and everyday. We are a reactive species folks, humanity reacts and responds. As we do and what we do, to do so, makes the world and our society what it is now.

Dont’ scream at me, don’t shout at me, never put your hands on another person in anger. Never attack someone mentally in any way. Don’t bully, don’t peer pressure, don’t fall for any of it folks. Remember one thing, I was told as a child. You can do and be whatever you want to be, all you have to do, is find that, and stick to it, and stay with it. You will accomplish it, you will be proud, you will be noticed if it is possible and allowed. If you try, and you care, the future will be better, and from there you can share.