Yesterday January 25th I turned 59 years old and celebrated it by taking the State Exam for Life Insurance Exam and passed it. Adding another accomplishment to my life and moving on and hoping, to keep going a while longer.

I have survived many things in my life, from a brutal childhood filled with beatings, threats, and screaming, to a three-year stretch in high school and dropping out to slowly coming back from that. Going on to an Equivalency  Diploma, and joining first the Army, then the Army National Guard and in the end The Navy for the final twelve years of service. I have survived a Medical Discharge and becoming a Disabled Veteran and going through a Divorce, and bounced back. I went on to going to College and getting an Associate Degree in Hotel Management, and Restaurant Management too. 

I have now written plenty of stories and made them into small books on Amazon’s Kindle E-books for sale. Then I married for a second time, and moved on more. I gained a great wife, a home and love, and a step-daughter and grandkids, and regained my daughters and their children too. I came a long way folks.

So life shall go on and on for me as long as God is willing, Thanks all and God!

      Some of us say very little about ourselves, and we don’t tell everything to everyone, we hide facets of ourselves from the world so they can not judge, or pity us or laugh at us or whatever many do. We tend to keep good times as well as bad times close to our heart and we tend to smile when in pain or say nothing at all. Such has always been my way in my life, I never said to anyone what I really thought, I was taught to say publically one thing and privately keep my real thoughts to myself. You might call it a family trait, handed down through both parents. One did it to control all around her, yes dear old mom, the other did it out of being an introvert and shy and being passive. But in the end both had the same way of doing things and it showed when they died.

Personally, for me it started at five years old and still exists in me till this day at almost 59. I don’t force myself into conversations, nor do I try to dominate them. I stand by and wait my turn, when in groups, or at least until someone asks for my opinion. I have never been one to take control or push anything unless I ha dto, like in the military when they look at you and go your the higher rank, you have to do it. So I did.

 Here is the point of this conversation for you all. Would you if sick, tell everyone, or if you knew what no one else can know about your own health, broadcast it to everyone you knew? Some maybe would, me I just do what i was taught all my life, shut up and handle it quietly on my own. So,  thats how life goes for me, I cough my head off, and rip the protective layer from mt throat each day, I vomit in my own throat and swallow it and say nothing to anyone, I suffer and find it hard to breathe at times when I walk or run to my own mailbox on the street, yet I keep going. Do i worry about it, not really for I was taught at a young age, we all die at some point, and we all have our own time to go. have I thought about what could be on the other side when I die, of course doing we all, but I believe we do not control our time here on earth, we only live it till our mission we were put here to do are completed by us. Then we return to from which we came and rest until needed again. I know  many don’t have the same thoughts or ideas on death, but these are mine, and thats all there is to it.

As I close in on 59 years old in January, and see things slowly changing health wise for myself and knowing my family history on the medical side, well I know what is coming in my mind at least. As my throat fills with vomit and bile and my stomache aches and my bowels stop up some I know, I can’t last forever. I know, a body can only fight so long to save itself, unless it’s own protection systems stop reacting properly and shut down on you. It’s just a physical matter of fact folks, the human body is a miracle yes, but it wasn’t created to last forever was it? It does begin to fail over time and such is the case of mine really. My Attention deficit disorder in my youth started it slowly and I overcame. It was preceded by Seizures as a baby, 199 in all, they were overcome by accident when I fell from a high chair. Yet, I kept going, I was never accepted by my family or the neighborhood kids or kids in school. It was just me, i was an outcast to many for sure. yet I survived that too.

Point being, it was the same all my life struggle through, survive and make it work. In the end what carried me through to this far is something my step-father told me as a child, and I quote, ” You can do anything you put your mind to to do, if you stick with it and see it through!” He was right and I admired him for saying so back when I was a kid and I lived my life by it. Thanks Dad, you were there, although not always right in how you did things, that one you got right! If it wasn’t for my Step-dad’s being there who knows what I would have become or if I would have even survived to this day. 

But what would you say today Dad, to my being here still going on 59, and outliving you who died at 58, or in catching up with mom’s age at her death, or my out living my real father? What would you say to me today dad, if you saw my home, or knew my second wife, or saw how my daughters and grandchildren are today. What would you say to me surviving 6 herniated discs, PTSD, and more. What would you say to my surviving Lung cancer and still kicking today? I think I know, how you would stand there hands on hips, that serious look on your face with your goatee and bald head and smile at me, and say good job. That is who you were, tough but fair to a point and proud when ya saw us all do right. Thank You!

 

      December 24th, 2014 is upon us folks and let me tell you, as you grow older time does fly by. It leaves us Christmas Tomorrow and only a week to 2014 left. Amazingly, I am still alive and kicking and doing my thing, but I do feel old these days, I get aches and pains and lose energy pretty fast. I will be 59 in one month and a day. For a guy who thought for sure he would be dead by forty years old I am still kicking.

 As you get older you begin to savor days, hours and minutes folks and you miss the ones who were in your life and disappeared or died. You begin to look back and think of the past and what it all meant and what is left of your future. You start wondering how much time you have left. In my case I have been one lucky man. I have survived 199 seizures, by being dropped on my head out of a highchair by my older brother. I have survive being ostracized as a kid for having Attention Deficit Disorder and Hyper-Activity, and at the time being unable to control myself. I survived beatings at home and schools and being institutionalized for two years too.

           Survival is what life is all about folks believe me, for the longer you survive the better off you are, we all adapt to the lives we live. I adapted folks, I changed my life by using surrogate parents in the forms of my friends familie. Why, because my home life and family were that bad, I had to to survive. Yelling, beatings, fights, and a lack of paying attention to the children they had were the aspects of my home life, so I escaped to familieswho, live as close to normal lives as they come.

I owe my survival to such families as the Johnsons, the Dudonis’s, The Geers in Naugatuck at the time for thru them I became me. I learned to make my own decisions , to adapt and get along with them all and made friends for life thru them all. So you see, life can change as you move on, and help can be found out there. 

By the time I was in my teens and running the streets free,  I was of High School ages and doing fine, until I noticed girls and they noticed me. It detoured me some for I had never known a real relationship with a female till then. I thank the girls who touched my life in many ways back then, Bettidean, Maria, sisters they were, Mary, Sue, and so many more. The ones who taught me to ice skate and play tennis in the Center, Donna and Marie. The one I first tried to kiss and failed with to the one I kissed first and did it right and learned and surprised by doing so. I grew thru those years and survived threats, being chased by guys twice my size and outwitting them. The first job I had and the way I grew on my own reading and writing on my own. I dropped out of High School folks yes I did, in 1973. went back in 1975 to get my GED and carry on into the service, I served in the U.S. Army, The U.S. Army national Guard and finally the U.S. Navy. I totaled 16 years and became a Disabled veteran. Six discs in my spine herniated, I suffer from PTSD, and much more. Nightmares from childhood and from the service wake me at night, as I try to escape it all by waking and leaping from bed, waking my wife. Yet I continue on. My first wife and I had two daughters who I love like crazy and will forever, their children are now my grandkids i love so much.  My second wife is my savior too, with her I went back to school after the Navy. to Graduate with an Associates Degree in Hotel Management in 1997, I walked away with honors and honor societies and a 3.7 out of a 4.0 average. I found I can do anything I put my mind to like my step-father had told us all those years ago.

Now, I am older at 58 myself about to be 59 soon in January of 2015. I have lived thru the deaths of my parents, my father at 55, my stepfather at 58 and my mom at 59 all from cancer. I sat with the first girl I cared about as she had cancer treatments, and I sat thru my wife during her breast cancer. I then got lung cancer myself folks and survived it too, and went thru lung cancer in 2013 at the veterans hospital and survived. Amazing huh?  Now I must face the mortality of myself and wonder how much longer will I survive. My parents went in their 50’s, my grandmothe ron moms side went at 64, heart attack, Grandpa at 71, my fathers parents in their 60s. so how much longer do I have according to genetics not too long I would say. As I tell my daughters, life seems long to you now when your young, as you age it winds down girls,you too will face the mortality of being human too, so do what is right today, love, laugh, enjoy each day, don’t be overly greedy and don’t hate at all, love is the way to go.

As 2014 comes to an ending soon, I will always have the warm memories of the days of my youth, and friends and first loves and first kisses, I will always look back fondly at friends and times that made me , me and smile. I hope those who shared them times with me can also.On that note, I want to say to all, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and remember always, your life is made up of the memories you have lived through and what you made of them.

The Importance of Christmas [Kindle Edition]
Willam McCurrach (Author)
Be the first to review this item—http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DS5LUNA

A Lil Christmas Story, Worth the Price! A Tale of the Importance of a Real Christmas And What it really means to a Family!

     December 20th. 2014, Five days from Christmas and 11 days from 2015 folks. We have almost completed the year and it seems humanity still hasn’t figured out what the animal population of the world has, and we are supposed to be the intelligent ones right?  We still haven’t figured out not to kill each other, or to take care of our environment and the planet we live on. We haven’t figured out guns are dangerous and kill people cause people are too stupid not to use them, we still haven’t figured out we have more homeless and hungry people in the world than ever before, nor do we care to stop and help anyone along the way, do we folks? No indeed we just want our piece of the pie and it doesn’t matter if we trampled, run over or around someone or something and destroy them or it in the process, nope have to have our piece don’t we? Greedy bastards is what we all are and we all know it too, yet we won’t stop, it’s like an addict on crack, we have ours but have to have more and more at all cost. Sadly it destroys the humanity on the planet, it destroys our world and environment and atmosphere too, so that sometime in the future our survivors, our families will face impossible odds to survive and we shall die off as a species, sad isn’t it?

We have watched America’s and the world economy dip, people go hungry, homeless and get sick beyond measure and die in millions around the world. We have seen human predators take out animal populations and species and each other like beasts in a coliseum in old Rome. We have seen religions and nations fight one another over beliefs, over property, over rights or lack of rights, and still we never do a damn thing right to stop it all. What the hell is wrong with mankind, that we can not see the destruction we are producing to our own ecosystem, atmosphere, and species and world in general? Are we blinded by power, greed and the need for our religions to be approved of  that we shall murder and slaughter innocent women and children and people to prove our points? Sad isn’t it folks, I think so!

As 2014, rolls to it’s conclusion, and the Holiday Season is upon the world in general, can we all stop and take a look at what is happening, stop it now and build a better world in 2015, or is it too late folks? You Tell me, when you read this ok, for I believe if mankind can destroy itself and the planet so quickly, we will make ourselves instinct in about 300 years, it should be time for all humanity to reevaluate it all and save the planet, the species and do things right for a change. Lets preserve, protect and help one another and lets make it an earth where we can all exist and talk, walk and pray in our own ways, but always remember we are a human species not just a bunch of rebels and fools ok?

Let me say this to all, from past generations to current generations and to future generation of all humanity, of all races, creeds, colors and religions and nationalities, Let There Be, Peace on Earth, GoodWill to Men and A Happy Holiday Season to all no matter, who you are, or where on Earth. Peace on Earth Goodwill to man, and May we all be healthy! 

   Happy Holidays to All!

       Monday, December 15th is here for the 2014 year. Ten days left till Christmas Day, when families gather and give presents away. Dinners will be on tables in homes and children will smile for all to see, to get a present from a parent like you or me. The Holiday Season is it you see, for children to laugh and be happy and free, we adults will figure how to pay for what we give, for it is our place and way to pay and live.

 Christmas has many different meanings in the world, for every man and every girl. For some it is the presents you get, for others they grew up and learned it is what you give that counts. As we count down to Christmas day, with family and friends, and  we should all stop to think of how our lives began. We were given the biggest present of all, when we came into the world, after nine months in a ball. We breath, we laughed, we cried and yes at times we even sighed. But in the end do to loving care, we grow up to be adults who love and care. We learn to respect others and to share, we learn to love and laugh and yes care, we learn who is important to us, and get taught to treat the rest like they need to treat us.

So, as your Holiday Season begins with cheer and you wonder where you will get the money to pay for it this year, be thankful you have a home and food, clothes to win and you don’t need the booze. Family is all you need you see, for those were and will always be, the best Christmas Seasons for you and me!.

     December 2014 is here folks and in three weeks time i have plenty to do! I have to shop for Christmas yet, and that is for lets see, 9 grandkids,7 adults and a wife, fun huh! Then I have to package up all I need tos end to another state and get it off in time to get there.

 On top of this I have taken on Primerica and trying to get through classes and studies to pass their exam in the near future to get licensed. I always do things all at once and sometimes I fail and sometimes I don’t, I guess ya can call me a Git Er Done kinda guy!

My writing of poems and stories seems to have taken a backseat at this time to so many things happening in life. Doctors, Medical tests, Primerica Classes and future tests and trying to find people to help and offer help to. But one thing I do know, it’s real living when you finally start moving and doing!

What will the future bring for me, I am not sure anymore I am at the age I thought for sure, when I was younger I would have died by. I survived some rough years for sure and situations too. Yet, as time goes on and i get older, for in a little over a month or so I will turn 59, and head for 60, I am amazed at the world, the people in it and some of the lack of intelligence and caring we give to each other. I am also sad and worried about racial injustices and the failures of the justice system, we created it and we can change it, if we do so peacefully folks, not with riots. 2015 approaches fast folks, as we count down december of 2014, can we all stop and think again of how it all means for Christmas, to Have Peace On Earth and GoodWill to All Mankind! 

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     Well, we all have our fears in life and they are different for each of us. Some fear a gun, some fear a person, some fear so much more and then there are the ones who fear cancer like me. I was hocked to find I had lung cancer in 2013 and that I survived it was a miracle to me. I was shocked first to have it, and then secondly at the fact I had to lose a lobe and a third  of one lung. But I survived it and thank god for the added time I am having today. Yet I know I can’t last forever and symptoms are popping up for more.

 My throat is constantly rough and in pain, plus I hack and cough big time, it is hard to swallow at times and yes I was diagnosed with Barrett’s Syndrome. The lining of my throat is in a mess and I have trouble swallowing and I cough, but how far along it is is hard to tell folks. I am not coughing up blood yet so I gather it isn’t bleeding yet, but my breathing is irregular these days. Today I shall go see a cardio-pulmonary specialist at the Veterans Hospital here in Connecticut and will explain the symptoms to her. She was the one who had me treated for Lung cancer Ultimately so hopefully she will have me examined further for my throat problem now. It is time to have it looked at closer and see how bad it really is and how long I have if it is bad,

My father, lasted till fifty five years old, my mother lasted to 59 years old and my step-father till 58, guess what folks I am 58 soon to be 59 in January. So the time to find out if i will outlive them all is here and the Doctors shall tell. No Matter what happens whether I survive or don’t, live or die, I have lived a full life with many great memories and loves. So I shall look forward to being here more. God Willing of Course, if not, all of you know who you are that I love!