Poetry tells stories, it helps!

Ultimate Fate

September 16th, 2025

William M. Mccurrach

Consider, morals,

Consider ethics,

Consider caring, sharing,

And in the end not swearing!

Consider warmth of human nature,

Consider kindness

Stop being angry,

Stop being cold.

Wake up and realize,

To our and my surprise,

We are all in this together,

This thing we call life.

No one is perfect,

No one is pure,

No one is king,

That’s for sure.

So stop, before you go mad,

Stop before you turn bad.

Put away your weapons and your anger,

Put away your hate,

For all of us, must you see,

Face the ultimate fate.

When we leave this plane,

we live upon,

And face the Golden Gates,

For the Judgement, on all, we have done,

Know that the one that greets us there,

Is always, Just and fair.

All I can say is ,

I hope I see you there!

For the Ultimate fate,

Yes at The Golden Gate.

Mondays

September 15th, 2025

William McCurrach

Hello Monday! A new day, a new week,

At times a new way,

To Speak !

Mondays usually begin the work week,

Except when you get older,

You become retired, and tired,

And a little less bolder.

Yet, like all days on the calendar,

They come and and they go,

Like some people you like

And may know.

You can’t be friends with all you see,

You can’t be perfect,

Believe you me.

What you can do and this I know,

Is treat all people well and smile you see,

It is what works for both you ,

And For Me.

Write !

William McCurrach

September 14,2025

Write while you can,

Doesn’t matter if you are,

A woman or a man!

Let it out, say it in anyway, you can.

Writting can be good for your soul,

It can help with pain,

It can cause laughter,

It can help solve problems,

Sometime before,

Or after.

We write poems, stories and blogs,

We tell stories of mysteries, romances,

Running fast and taking chances.

Sometimes it may be just a story we made up,

Other times it may be about something,

That was rough,

Or how it can all, be so tough.

Remember to write, to let it all out,

For in the end,

It is what writting, is all about!

Unlocking Creativity Through Writing

It may be time for me to go back to writting once more. To tell tales and stories, never told before. Or to bring my poetry into a form of a book. Which I am not sure as of yet you see, for, I just know when I feel it, what it should be.

Some say they like my short stories I did before, others say they like my poetry, the choice of course is theirs, for sure. What I tend to do, is find something that interests me, or something that emotionally, gets to me. Then I start there and ramble on with it, til I have said all I can. or, I take a topic or subject, and get into in such a way, it tells the world what I want to say. The hardest part of writting anything, is the beggining folks. For writting must flow from your mind, heart and soul to be any good. If it is forced it doesn’t work really, it sound corny or not interesting enough and it flops. I have learned over my years, there are stories of mystery, there are stories of life, there are stories of husbands and wifes. There are childhood tales, you would never tell, because if you did, you would pay for it, well. Then there are stories of many things for me, from my military days, to actual history. many have a way of just forgetting and carrying on, but for me thats not the way it is done. I have things in my head, from childhood days, days with my main family and things I would never do or say. Days with dad, days with mom, days with my siblings and those memories carry on. I have the days of my youth and teenage years, the feelings of being lost and the fears. Love stories that some never have heard from me, because of they did, things would have gone differently. I can’t change history or the fates, or destinies you see. But what I can do, is just be me, set the words down on paper or computer and, see. We all grow up in different ways, we all have families of different kinds, some good, some bad and some indifferent you see. In the end it is all about who and what made you and me.

So writting becomes a way of letting things out, the only question that remains is how to go about it all. Well, first as I said you have to pick a subject or plot. Then you have to figure out who is who, what is what, and where your trying to get to, to make it interesting and worth while. Then you have to consider how to start, at what place in time and which character will get it moving for all who will read it. If you don’t believe what I am saying then go read some Mark Twain, or go read some Doris Kearns Goodwin books. Or you can enter the world of Patterson or Stephen King even. Each have their unique characters and subjects you see. Some are mystery, some are horror, some are spy novels and some make believe world based on real life locations. But, in each case, each writter, takes you away with the words, the phrases, the locations or the history and they enrich it with their words of wit and style. Yes writting is not a simple subject, it is convoluted and confussing at times, and it can indeed, takea lot of concentration to do it. You need tools also for it all.

Tools like, dictionarnies, and more. You have to understand the english language well, and have paid attention in English Classes. Punctuation, sentences, forming them, starting them, ending them, how to handle characters talking and so much more. At other times it comes naturally, for you lived through it all don’t you see. You remember it because it meant something special to you. So, you try to bring it to life one more time, in the words you write, for all else to live it and enjoy it too. So many things happen when you write. You can relive emotions, events, acts and scenes and even write out your own dreams. writting is an art my friends, not for everyone but for some. You need to go slow, take your time, think it over in your mind. Then, be careful how you say it when you write, if not, it will not be understood right.

I suggest to many who say they would like to write, they find a quiet place they can work in. Settle in relax, get what you need to write, something to drink, and then think before your start. what exactly is it about, where are you going with it, how shall you get there and how many different ways can the story go. Then, decide once you know which way to go, what to start with or who. It’s not simple, and you need to know, is it a mystery, is it a comedy, is it history, is it romance, will it be poems? Determine that first before you even write one word down, for once you start, it will roll on and on and you do not wish to lose the thoughts, that make it work. It’s like a songwriter, with each verse, or song he writes, he gets a tune in his head and then the words start to come, sometimes you scribble them out, for they do not fit, and you need to rephrase each verse of it. Just remember like I try to do, stick to the subject, plot or story line and make it true.

Navigating Holidays Alone: A Personal Journey

December 24th, 2024 has arrived, it is the beginning of Christmas Eve day for me. Outside it is 28 degrees here in Westborough, Mass. and snow is forecasted for today. As I look out my sliding door to my balcony, the skies are gray and overcast and it does look like snow shall be here soon enough.

As to the Holiday itself, I don’t do anything for it, anymore. Since I lost my wife in 2021, Christmas Eve and Day have become just another day for me. The normal is all I have now a days. I stay home, try to eat and drink properly and watch tv, read, and build my puzzle. Clean my home as I go, when needed. I go out these days only for certain things. 1) To see Doctors as needed. 2) Grocery shopping so I may eat. 3) Twice a week I play Mexican Train Dominos at the Clubhouse and on Monday evenings I play Billiards. While I enjoy playing them and the company of others while I do, I am cautious doing so. But, I do so, to just get out of my condo and in an attempt to be social is all. I am trying to fit in, like a square peg, in a round hole here, it is at times uncomfortable for me. Yet, it is an attempt, whether it will work or not is at times beyond my comprehension, yet at least I attempt.

At 68, soon to be 69, I have come to realize many thing regarding myself. I am not overly friendly to anyone. I try to keep a distance and not disturb others. Although invited to other’s homes, I do not attend, I hate imposing on people or being a burden to anyone, always have and will. I have never been a true social person, who interacts with others easily, I don’t have the charm, needed for that. No I am not a scrooge as some may say, nor am I really a loner, or wanderer, I just am very careful and more scared then anything. I get very melancholy on Holiday Season. I miss my wife who passed in 2021 and I am slowly trying to move on, yet, I find it hard. Is that wrong to say or do, I think not, after the 28 years I spent with her. Yes I know, I must learn to carry on without her, but my spirit remembers her too well to forget her too.

Anyway, the year is moving forward and time ticks on. Each day bring me closer to 69, and the New Year ahead. I am disappointed in the American people, because they voted Trump back in Office. I can’t change it, but it depresses me. How did the American People vote in a convicted felon as President and why? I shall never understand the logic behind it, and find it very disturbing that the American People, have fallen so low, as to do so. Yet, I face what may be my final years, living under a President who is a felon, and is being run by the likes of Elon Musk, Steve Bannon and Steven Miller. Having to live with it, will harm our place i the world, our economy and the mental health of the American People. yet, Americans chose this, so forward we go.

As a Senior citizen and a Disabled Veteran, I hope and pray we stay a Republic and Democracy, but, it does not look good for us. Sadly, I will never understand how we got here, but here we go. Trump wants to kill the Department of Education, Attack Medicare and Medicaid and Social Security and give more tax breaks to his rich cronies. he is threatening Mass Deportations and so much more. It seems to me, the American People have been conned by a con man and criminal. People fell for lies, and now the America I defended, protected, and love so well, is being taken over by a cult, led by Trump. In fact as many are now beginning to realize, Trump is not capable of running the country. It is being run and will be run by people like Elon Musk, and Steve Bannon and Steven Miller and the likes. Stop and think people, Trump is taking office at almost the same age that Biden is leaving it. Trump is physically and mentally in worse condition then Biden and will only get worse as his term goes on. You want the real scare of what is coming next, if I were you, I would pray trump hangs on till the end of his term, if not you get a President J.D. Vance, imagine that!

Ok enough politics. I have learned in my life that I must deal with what is, not what I wish. So, I go forward with a body that aches, and has it’s problems. The way I see it, I have overcome many things in my life, and at this point shall continue to do so. I believe, I am actually a miracle being in some ways. I overcame so much in my life. Seizures as a baby, Hyper-activity and attention deficit disorder were just the start for me. Battles with my mother over who my father was and where he was, got me put away for two years as a child, and she attempted to give me away three times through the state. Yet, I returned home. I overcame and persisted. By my teen years, I found a way to find my father on my own and did so, only to have a mother who had to get on her high horse and interfere anyway. After I met my father, mom found out and forced me to go back down there with her. By the end of that day, I faced my father a man who was in his fifties at the time, and scared shitless of my mother who was a whole 5ft 4 inches and 120 lbs. so, I told him, if he ever wanted to see me again, he had to make a stand and tell her, to leave him alone. He did in the end. and life moved on for me.

I served my country for 16 years in three military branches, Army, Army National Guard and Navy, and grew up there. I had no choice, I made the commitment so I lived it. I served Honorably and have a DD-214 to prove it too. I also, got injured, six herniated discs in my spine and live with them daily. I was married twice, had two daughters, my longest marriage was my second for 28 years. I did well I think, because I also went back to school and got a Associate’s Degree in Hotel Management, becoming the first in my family to do so. Two Honor Societies inducted me, Alpha Beta Gamma, and Phi Theta Gamma, not bad for a man who was 40 years old when it was done.

I have written many blogs such as this, many poems and lil stories made into small books online. I did what was right when mom died, and put her with her husband, helping my sister do so. I brought my dying wife home and hospiced her, till her death in 2021. So, I have tried very hard to do what I believed was right to all. I am not perfect, but I am smart enough to be respectful, and kind, and considerate as I go along. Whether the same consideration will be extended to me in my ending, I do not know, I only know, I had the drive to do so for others, I loved.

As, 2024 rolls now closer to it’s ending and tomorrow is Christmas Day, I shall keep going forward. I spend my holidays alone these days, and it doesn’t matter which holiday it is. I do not wish to impose, on or burden anyone in any way and I don’t. Alone is fine with me, I have my television, my internet and books and puzzles to keep me going and busy. I believe I am better off alone, than being taken advantage of by someone else in any way. As Christmas Eve gets underway, and tomorrow is Christmas Day, I Wish all a Very Merry Christmas! Remember, it is not about the material things you give or receive, it is about the time you spend with those who love you and that you love in return. And last but not least, I Wish all who read this, A Very Happy New Year, as 2025 comes rolling at us very soon. Happy Holidays to All !

Embracing New Beginnings in 2025

December 22nd, 2024, is upon us all. We have a few days left till Christmas Day, and people are rushing to the stores I say. As they do, I pray for you, that you all don’t get in each other’s way. Drive carefully out there will you please, and make it safely home, for the holidays.

I have been asked why, I stay alone on the holidays, it simple really you see, the holidays mean nothing to me. I have lost my grandparents, my parents and my wife to cancer, my children live over 500 miles away and so do my grandchildren. My sister God Bless her, is doing her things with friends, and personally I shall never impose on anyone or be a burden to anyone on a holiday or otherwise. Simple right, many don’t understand it though, but that’s ok with me.

I keep to myself, and I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in and heat. I have all the lil electronic toys I need to play with too. I build puzzles, read books, watch television and movies and play on the internet is all. In my mind and heart, my children and grandchildren and sister are all better off without me to drag them down. So, by myself I shall stay, until my dying day.

As Christmas gets closer each day, I use the NFL and NBA to watch and keep my mind busy, I read books and relax. I have food and heat and a place of my own, my 956 square feet condo is my home. I moved here, so I must accept what I choose to do. The Complex is ok, the people are too, I ignore the rude and crude, the impolite and I shall survive well past New Year’s night. I turn 69 in January, of 2025, and I face my health problems as most my age do. I suffer from a bad back, PTSD, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes too. yet, I still march on in life and do what I can do.

I feel I have had a full life so far, my service years, my two marriages. all kept me going. Homes I had to care for, and people too, I think I did my best, can you say that too? It’s been a decent life for me really. I am a lucky man in many ways, I just know I miss my wife and our happier days. It’s not unusual for a man who is a widower at almost 69 to say so, it is hard for some to hear. But for me, I say, do not worry or cray a tear, for soon we all shall face the New Year. 8 days left to 2024, and onward I go to a New Year once more. I shall be fine, I shall be well, and if I am not, oh well. I did my thing, and did it my way, I have no fear or worry about yesterday. I did what was right for those I loved, I cared when I should and now they are all up above. I am alone and on my own, but, I know I shall survive, no matter what, for now, it’s a feeling in my gut. Full life i have lived and I have always found a way to smile and give.

I am working on building a Singles Group for the Condo complex here and at the same time, trying to get on The Veteran’s Board for the town too. The idea is simple for the Single’s Group, I figured many single women here and some single men, see if I can make them at least mingle and have fun. As to the Veteran’s Board position, as a 16 year disabled Veteran I believe i can help them understand what the Veteran’s need in town, and as someone else said, we need to be represented on the board for our complex. Time shall tell if it works out for me.

My thoughts on 2025 are simple. A new year, a new beginning and onward we go. As to politics, I can’t change the election results, and have to live with it. I pray we survive the next four years, I am sure we shall, we survived it before. I hope for no wars, help for the poor, and health for all mankind. I try to keep a hopeful outlook on all I see, and hope it all works out for you and me.

Merry Christmas to All and To ALL A Happy and Prosperous New Year!

It’s a crazy world for sure, in, 2024 for me.

January 3rd, 2024, it’s Wednesday here in Westborough, Mass. I moved here to Westborough from Connecticut in March of 2022, after losing my wife to breast cancer. The idea was to get away from where she passed and I sold the home and came here, thinking, it may bea good place to live and to find a new partner for fun times in the future here or now.

I have tried the BookStore here, then I tried at the suggestions of others, bars/ taverns like The Red Heat Tavern, The Neighborhood Tavern in Northboro, The Central House, and JP’s also. All decent places but, none really made for senior citizens my age and up looking to meet new partners. I wish I could find such a place but, I am also not ready to hang out at the Senior Center and do nothing, so I am trying to find things to do in town.

I know of bowling, and did that last year in two different bowling alleys, like Bowlero and at The Apex in Marlboro, both were fun of course, but, most are younger there. I do like to play pool/billards and do so here in my condo complex in Westborough., once a week.

I don’t see a place to dance in town for seniors, nor have I found karyoke clubs either, which are fun of course. I like Westborough, but, I am not sure what to do it in for my age range, I am about to turn 68, but I am not dead ok!

Is there any place to meet seniors 60 and up, in Westborough or the area? Or am I in a town there is no such place to find? I don’t know, so, I will say this I am not a big drinker, I will drink for social occassions only or to fit in and of course sip a drink. I do like to read, and walk, and write. I like eating out at resturants but, not alone i prefer a companion for such. It just feels strange to do so alone for me, after my 28 years with my deceased wife. My family is no where close to me, so I am alone most of the time, it can get to a person if you get my drift. Loneliness sucks folks , lol, hows that for honesty !

I tried dating apps like Zoosk, Match, Our Time, and I found that the ladies there want money not company or companionship. The apps cost money to join and you find all are many miles away and not really available. It is a crazy thing these dating apps in my book, you can set up profile and tell the truth and still get no one to find you or reply to you. KInda crazy in my world anyway, hoping as you spend money and get no where, because of covid, or fears and anxieties if you know what I am saying. When I met my wife, years ago, it was at a Singles Dance, and I see nothing along those lines around these days, at least not near me.

I want to have fun again, meet a woman I can get along with and share time with. Am I wrong to want that, and is there anyway of finding such here? I don’t know, I just know, Westborough, Mass. and the area doesn’t seem to be a place friendly to it. So, I shall keep trying of course but, I won’t be stupid and blow money or act foolish, it’s not something, I will do is all. I write my blogs and watch Facebook and news daily. Or at least when I can.

I do like to walk the mall near me. As to what happens next, or where i look I know not anymore. It is one day at a time, and just an existance under the current conditions for me. I keep getting told, get out more, meet more people, but how, without being taken for money? It’s a crazy world for sure in 2024 for me.

Happy Holidays to All !!! 2023 becomes 2024 soon!

The hard days are here once more,

The days when we spent time together,

We laughed, we exchanged gifts,

We saw family, yes, you and me.

The Christmas Wreath would hang over the fireplace each year,

The cards on a string for us to read,

The music would drift from the stereo, for you and for me.

Christmas time was special with you,

All because we were together it’s true,

Our hugs, our kisses, are some of what I am missing,

But, most of all, I miss talking to you,

Listening to you, just having you close,

God Bless you, my deceased wife,

For in fact, you were the happiness in my life.

Now Christmas is upon me once more,

And you are gone from me,

The lights mean nothing, the music and Ho Ho Hoing,

Are noise in the background to me,

For I miss you so much,

I am out of touch,

But I shall always have you in my memory,

So, to all out there, who have someone they love,

Hold on tight to them now,

For if you are like me,

Christmas and New Year will not be the same, once they are gone,

So, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone,

There is no replacement or time, when your love one will leave your mind,

Yet, it is indeed Christmas Time and the New Year lies ahead,

I don’t feel like climbing out of bed,

My spirit is low, and my mind does drift,

But I shall carry on, say Merry Christmas to All And Happy New Year too,

As I keep remembering are those moments with you.

Happy Holidays to All !!!

Tax Season/Environmental Problems/Politics

April 2,nd is here folks, tax season has come once more as the 15th looms. Uncle Sam will want their fair share once more and will hit the middle class and lower class with taxes, the upper class will never pay, sadly it is unfair. yet, in America someone has to pay the bills right, well why not take that money mote from the Billionaires and millionaires then the lowly peons we be? And what about our well off and well paid politicians, who are doing nothing in Congress to turn the country around, period, shouldn’t they pay too?

My firm belief is the American Government has protected the rich too damn long and they need to pay their fair share and take some of the burden off the lower classes these days. They jet around the world and country having fun as the worker bees, have a hard time buying a home, eating or dressing and taking care of our kids. Why, is that folks?

The rich get richer and the poor poorer, and in between the middle class gets squeezed for the money they don’t have to take care of it all. Sad Isn’t it? I mean really, how much more blood can you squeeze out of the middle class before there is no more middle class to take from? You tell us, you big ass Politicians who get paid hundreds of thousands a year for sitting on your asses and saying no to everything that could help the country because you don’t like the opposing party and want to look tough and in charge. where are the jobs? when will the economy turn around once more fully? Where and when will we stop fighting wars for other countries? When will America learn as powerful and lucky as we have been, that the first priority should be taking care of our own? As we go forward in 2015, a year I never thought I would live to see, for I will be 60 in January of 2016, and i have survived cancer now, it seems American Politicians need to get the damn message and take care of our people, country, economy period first and foremost. Stop paying to police other countries or fighting s others wars, we must grasp a hold on the Economy at home, at healthcare, fix social security and Obama Care and feed, cloth and educate our own and prepare for an uncertain future in this world. The environment is ruined and we do nothing to make it better or to slow it down, why? Are we as Americans or as humanity in the world stupid enough to believe we did nothing to see it fail us or to damage it, come off of it folks! Icebergs melt at the poles, oceans rise, polar bears face extinction as do many animals, as the oceans rise the land mass will deplete also, so it will encroach up the coasts of America as well as other countries too. As the land masses decrease where will mankind live then and the animals and produce we depend on live? How will we feed ourselves and the animals and plants we need to survive? You all tell me?

I know many will think I am just ranting and raving again and I sound like a fool, or like I do not know what I am saying, but, you better look closely folks, because it is slowly happening across the globe we live on.

Last things for today folks; 2015 is moving forward faster and Obama’s term is coming to an end, and so is Congresses too. as politicians move on and retire and we look for a new leader in 2016 in all areas, we should remember somethings. One Obama tried, he was blockaded and stopped by a Republican Congress, who did so out of spite and anger at losing the White House to him. Two, Congress and it’s leadership needs to be changed period, we can’t continue to allow a Republican Congress or for that matter a Democratic Congress to stop a forward motion in america. Sadly, we have important decisions to make for all of us and the good of our country coming up. Lets not make the same mistake twice folks, if we put a Republican in the White House or a Democrat, lets give then support in Congress to make things happen, or we shall lay dormant like a rug and the country and it’s people will suffer more!

Disabled veteran’s and Writing Stories, Poems and Little Books and Why!

Many Americans, serve their country, and come home healthy and fine, many like me come home with PTSD, and physical aliments like my six herniated discs in my spine, depression, aniexty, and stress and more. Some lose limbs and others their minds serving the country they believe in each day they can. I did so for 16 years and as a Disabled Veteran, I find it rough at times to make ends meet, so I dabble in writing poems, book, and stories and trying to make a few extra bucks off of them to survive in life today.

I wrote now 41 different little books, of all nature, from Murder Mysteries, to Love Stories, to Real Life stories that happened in my life, to of course Military Tales too. each one reflects something in my life that happened or I remember as happening and I document them in this way. A few are well made up stories from cloth so to say, where I came up with an idea nad it became a story or little book now.

My latest little book is 30 pages long, and is about a sailor trained to become a Seal and sent into Alaska on a security Mission, and he barely returns after meeting a deadly russian foe. The Blackness in the story has to do with head injuries he incurs and medical problems he didn’t know he had.

Blackness In Alaska——- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IHY5LCS can be found here on Amazon’s E-Books and on CreateaSpace too. I hope some will try it and leave some decent reviews too. An old Veterans like me at 58 trying to make ends meet can use some extra income and a chance at writing more!

I also want to Thank all who bothe rto read my blog when I do write it, which is now spaced out a bit due to me getting older and my recent bout with Lung Cancer in August of 2013 and the operation to remove one and one third lobes of my right lung. So my life continues on as I keep writing and doing my thing, I hope some will find them worthy to buy and read.

Mackey-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D50GPJM
The Project Murders, in Broad-View Acres -http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3QZZU8
“Tick, Tock The Infernal Clock” —-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CDU0FIC
“Fishing Days with Dad” ——http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CXYI8MS
“Abraham- A Man of Contradictions” —-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CWNZ3Y6
“My Maria”—http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CS3BTOS
“Rusty The Beagle” —–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CQ3S4LG
“Angie’s Folly”—–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CPMGIAC
“Three Mandolin Murder Mysteries in One!” —–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00COQNJ38
“Wails of an Attention Deficit and Hyperactive Child” —http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CO92VOS
“Three Navy Stories” —-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CNW9C7U
“Three Amigos”–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CNV5FMW
“Passing on……………………”—http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CMXC952
“God Damn It!”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CMXD1TU
“Women are in Charge!”—http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CLXBS4Q
“WHy Hide It?” —-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CK7F696
“The Poems of W.M.M.” —-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CHQPNQQ
“National Guard Hereos”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CIH88HU
“The Holy Land Murder”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CCCZQ8A
“The Poems of W.M.M.” —-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CHQPNQQ
“Romance,Sex and Fools”—http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CH6VX1U
“What Really Happened to Alex?” —http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CGPDBX0
“Unattainable Love”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CGPDGDU
“The Northern Woods Murders”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CGMRXDC

Diagnosis, action next and my Stories live! Thanks

Each And Every Day brings me closer to seeing what has infected or grown within one of my lungs. Facing the same disease that has affected so many in my life over its span is scary, hard and not knowing what will come next is even worse. Never knowing whether you will cough up something, loose breath, or just drop from weakness is crazy. Yet so far I am holding my own since they found what ever it may be in one lung, and told me it is isolated to that lung. That is about the only good point so far in this discovery and the news of the illness!

Cancer has taken my Grandfather, on my maternal side way back in 1970, it has struck down my real father in 1984, got mom in 1991 and in between took my step-father in 1990, now it seems I must travel the roads they did with the same disease. My Second wife had cancer also but hers was breast cancer and she is still with us today. Thank God for that miracle is all I can say. At least someone survived through it so far, and that’s a plus. Yet, cancer hits different parts of the human body, and for me it has hit the lungs, which on the survival ratings, is the worse one to get, only 16.4 % survive what i have. So the battle begins, I believe come Friday of this week with them taking a part of the mass by biopsy. Then I will know exactly what I am fighting and the severity of it I am sure.

Each day I wake up thankful for being here still and stopping to look back on my life, to review what I did and didn’t do in it. I can’t change anything that happened before I was old enough to realize what was going on and could control my own destiny, but, I made the best with what I was handed I think. I can’t change who my parents were, how they divorced or who replaced my father. I can’t change the physical and mental abuse i suffered as a kid, nor can I change the fact I was given away by my mother and then handed back to her when I fought against it. I can’t change the beatings with pipes,fireplace pokers and shovels, or the throwing me down stairs, or yanking from my bed for beatings when I was a kid. But, I survived those too, funny how that happens isn’t it? I survived being Unwanted in school and at home to move on to surrogate parents who helped me survive and raised me partially and helped to make me who I became. I survived the short stay in the Army, the Army National Guard and then the longer stay in the US Navy, a job that I am very proud of surviving and doing. I survived a nasty divorce and missed my daughters for years and survived false accusations too. Now I must face the road my parents faced as they died, and I am doing so with grace, pride and strength gathered from friends, relatives and my second wife. God Bless her for all she is and does for me, I love her deeply.

Time to list my stories for reading by all and hope some will read them and remember me in someway anyway. I am no Hemingway, I am no Dan Brown or Robert Ludlum either, I am a guy who takes short incidents in his life and careers and makes them into short stories and writes poetry and murder mysteries for fun and to make a few bucks on the side for my wife, who sells them on KIndle e-Books on Amazon.

Please read a few if you can, I know times are rough in America and money is tight;

My List of stories:”Disappearing Hams”—–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DZPFKYS

“False Accusations”—–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DYAID6G

“The Burner Man”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DWYZE9I

“The Flying Christmas Tree”—http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DV80T9A

“The Importance of Christmas”—http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DS5LUNA

“Dark Secrets Overcome”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DJR1OKG

“Confrontations With Mom”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DC3BQK0

“The House on Phoenix Avenue”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D910XBS

“Children center Lesson and Years (Hamden,Connecticut)”—http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D6VAS6Q

“UnWanted”—–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CEKO3KW

“The Chase and Ending”—http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D6GD8ZY

“Adult Poems of Romance and Lust”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D5L684I

“Mackey”—http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D50GPJM

The Project Murders, in Broad-View Acres—http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3QZZU8

“Tick, Tock The Infernal Clock”—http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CDU0FIC

“Fishing Days with Dad”—http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CXYI8MS

“Abraham- A Man of Contradictions”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CWNZ3Y6

“My Maria“—–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CS3BTOS

“Rusty The Beagle”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CQ3S4LG

“Angie’s Folly”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CPMGIAC

“Three Mandolin Murder Mysteries in One!”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00COQNJ38

“Wails of an Attention Deficit and Hyperactive Child”——-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CO92VOS

“Three Navy Stories”——http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CNW9C7U

“Three Amigos“—–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CNV5FMW

“Passing on……………………”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CMXC952

“God Damn It!”——–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CMXD1TU

“Women are in Charge!”—–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CLXBS4Q

“WHy Hide It?”—–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CK7F696

“The Poems of W.M.M.”—–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CHQPNQQ

“National Guard Heros——http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CIH88HU

“The Holy Land Murder”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CCCZQ8A

“Romance,Sex and Fools”—–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CH6VX1U

“What Really Happened to Alex?”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CGPDBX0

“Unattainable Love”—-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CGPDGDU

“The Northern Woods Murders”—–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CGMRXDC

Thanks for reading my Blog folks!

Cancer for Me/ My Stories Live on!

Well here I go down a road traveled by my parents before me and something I figured would never really be. Before me I lost a Grandfather to cancer in 1970, my mother’s father. Then in 1984, shortly after I found my real father and met him, he died of lung cancer too. 1990- the man who raised me as his son, my step-father died of cancer, then one day and a year later my mother went and followed him with lung cancer too. It seems cancer is in the family for us all and i have tried to tell my daughters to quit smoking before it gets them too, but alas they smoke on, and me well I quit smoking now 6 to 7 years ago, but, I got cancer of the lungs too, recently diagnosed, and the Journey toward Valhalla starts.

First the coughing and hacking stared, then the spitting up of phlegm and blood for a short period of time. Then light pains in chest and the ability to move fast or do anything heavier than sit and talk goes. I went to the Doctors at this point I was sluggish, slightly painful in chest area and still coughing. Doc says ok let’s get a cat scan,so I agreed.

One phone call later, I was told we found some spots on your lungs and I am ordering more tests. The tests included, Pulmonary Clinic, Breathing Tests, Blood tests,MRI of brain and finally a Pet Scan in one day!

The next morning 10:00 am the phone rang in my home and I answered it. My Doctor called, and told me, there is a growth in your lung and it is good size and very active on the Pet Scan. I need two more blood tests from you, and to set you up for a biopsy and to see the surgeons. Stop taking your daily aspirin and I will set it all up. Cancer had arrived in me, and this time the fight will happen, I can’t and won’t go slowly. As I await the call for the set up of the Biopsy and the Surgeons talk, my wife is with me and we shall talk together to the doctors and make the decisions.

Long ago, I used to say and I always believed I would never live passed 40 years old, but I did and 57 isn’t old, but it’s no spring chicken either. I always believed I had missions to complete in life assigned to me by whoever put us on this planet as human beings, is there any more I have to complete before I am done, only time will tell!

Ok enough on that one, I shall do what needs to be done folks. In the meantime I have my stories I am selling on Amazon’s Kindle e-Books site and sales ares low these days. I was hoping for more but what the hell at least some are enjoying reading them and that counts. Never called myself HemingWay or Ludlum, but, told short stories the best I could to teach lessons, talk of love and write health and murder mysteries. I hope they will be enjoyed by many.