Tag: Family

I hope so, wish me luck!


As we get older, we also, tend to get smarter about life and avoid the mistakes of our own past. We tend to stop before we leap and think first and go wait a second, been here, done this before an dnot doing it again. It happens in daily things we do, it happens in jobs we take on and relationships we have and so much more. The fact is, we all use our past experiences in life to make present day and ongoing decisions every moment we are awake. Just stop and think about it fora few moments and you shall know, what I am talking about.

We all of us can’t all be Einstiens, nor can we all be dumb, we all tend to be in the middle, some of us are polite, some of us are rude too. Some are kind, some are cruel and this is not sexist in anyway, it is just human. Humanity is not perfect in anyway, from looks to habits, to likes and dislikes, we all tend to adjust to what we like or don’t like. Some of us are stubborn and hard headed, some of us are kind and gulliable, some us laugh easy and some of us cry easy. Why we do so is based on what we have experienced and lived through in our own lives so to say. Some have had the easy life, things handed to us on a platter so to say, and other shave had to struggle through in all we do. We don’t have full control over life, it sometimes controls us. Fates, destinies, at times can not be changed and at othe rtimes we tend to realize something that touches us personally, or is unigue to us alone, and it changes how we react and what we do next. Thats the fascination of life, it’s unpredicability daily. Life is indeed a mystery to even me, and I be 68 years old now.

I have learned lately though that you can’t force anything, you can’t search too hard, and make things happen, and that you must take it as it comes to you. I tried hard many times to force things and be something I am not, and in the end learned, people see through anything that is phoney or acting. I also learned it doesn’t matter if you dress uppretty, or dye your hair, or try to fit in by beingl like all the rest, it only makes you look and feel like you don’t fit in. Just be you, and i guess that will always be what works best.

I have friends from my younger days I have known now for over 50 years. One female and one male, and each seem to have advise for me in my current situation and age and I have given each of them advise in our younger days. I recently thought outloud on a blog and Facebook post, how I thought I had grown old and wa slike one of the Old Men in that old Movie Grumpy Old Men. Well, my female friend from all those years ago told me I amnot that way, she knows it, and that I am not too old and done in life, and more than she is and she is my age too. So, that makes one think.

Male friend, wa sthe best man at my second marriage and I have known him since i was 14. We ran the streets of our old home rown together, we fished and camped and hiked together. I knew his wife and his children in his first marriage. So he knows me well as I know him. One day, many years ago I walked into his apartment to find him surrounded by letters hew as writing to numerous women, from a magazine. He wanted a date and to meet a new woman in his life after his divorce. I was going through similar circumstances at the time. I told him to stop writing letters, he was wasting money and time. He looked at me and asked what I meant. I said look, the only way your going to get anywhere in life is to be yourself, do the job you have, do what you love to do, and they will find you. Women want men who are happy, content and who do their own things. Well, he said ok, and then I took him to singles dances and showed him. We walked into one and I just did my thing, ignoring all the ladies and being myself and he followed. Within 10 minutes two women walked upto us and started talking to us and neither of us had said a word. All I did was carry myself with pride and decently and smile. It wasn’t the look, it was the attitude and the confidence I explained to him later. Now, I met my second wife at those dances, and it went 28 years for us, untill she passed from cancer. For him the dances didn’t work, but the advise did when I tiold him to be himself and they will find him, he and his wife have now been married for 30 years now. All he did was go to work and be himself, thats all he had to do really.

Au Naturale, does not mean naked folks alone, it means authenicate, real, being you ! Don’t ever try to be something you are not, don’t try to act like all the rest, it is being comfortable with who you are and accepting yourself first, thats make sit easy for someone else to accept you. I have given up trying to hunt and peck through Dating sites, and web sites now and I have given up looking forfemale companionship, because I learned I can’t keep crying ove rit, nor can I force it, I just have to be me and enjoy life, even as a single man again anda widower. I can’t replace the one I lost and I shouldn’t compare anyone to her, just be me and accept others fro who they are too. It isa two way street, but, forcing anything doesn’t work.

So, I walk, I go out and eat on my own, I may stop in a bar or tavern, and do a movie alone. Doesn’t matter anymore what I do, I may fish, or bowl or play pool, I may just go for a ride. But, I am no longer gonna be playing the searching games, the hoping game, the wishing game of looking. It doesn’t work, the more your push or search or try the less you find it seems to me. So, I shall do what I advised my friend many years ago to do, do me, have fun and just carry on and let nature take it’s course. Thats what life is all about, I believe, and just use my own experiences and feelings and thoughts to make my own decisions as I go along in life. Pretty simple right, I hope so, wish me luck!

Reflections/Resolutions 2024


 Life can be amazing, an adventure, an enjoyment, or it can be mundane, lonely, and make you wonder, what the hell your here for ! I never claimed to be apopular person and never was really, I had my difficulties as a kid, bullied in school, did not fit in in my younger days thats for sure. I had conflicts with my mother, my older brother, and of course my step-father. Some I overcame as I grew, like, my elder brother I ignored, my mother and I came to an understanding after I got old enough to investigate her some and figure out things. But each brought me new knowledge of them and the world I have to live in. It doesn’t matter what those moments were as you age, what does matter is what you make from them, as you move on.

 I know I learned many things in life about it in general, love, respect, honesty, integerity, and pride come to mind. I also learned that relationships happen and they form over decency for one another. Shit, I have friends from when I was fourteen years old, friendships may fade some, but they never disappear as we move on. Families scatter and go their own ways, but, we still find a way to carry on don’t we?

 I reflect many times in my life backon my experiences in it and the people that have left or passed I knew. The famous ones to the mundane and everday ones you walk by daily, each affect us differently. Some you admire because they are family and have departed for the love they gave you, the care they did do for you, and then others you remember for the good times, the laughing, the jokes, good or bad, the tears, the fears, the chances you took with them and more. It is amazing how much the human mind remembers as you age and how much it may tend to ignore or forget also. The painful times we tend to forget, the ones who got away that we loved, or the ones that have passed before us. Yet, The good Lord is the one guiding and directing and leading us to go on till, we can no more and we complete the missions we have been put here for !

  Two seems a very important numbe rin my life and world. I had two marriages, two children and I have no idea how they happened. I never learned to flirt, or what to say to the female species. Yet, I wasmarried twice, have two children and find myself with four grandchildren who live 600 miles away from me. They do not know me, my own children were lost to me in my divorce from my first wife. And it was my second wife who encouraged me to go see them when she was alive. I did so of course as much as i could handle it, but, I am not rich and I really do not think like they do, that I owe them anything. I sometimes think they should stop and realize, the divorce from their mother, was not my fault number one, and number two I lost like they did, and more than I would admit or want to. The courts do not favor the male of the couple when divorce happens and the females are believed no matter what and protected, even when they lie. I know i suffered from it and still do today.

 Yet, I went on to do things I never thought I could, I found a second wife, a second life and much more. The first marriage went 10 years and then two for the divorce, then the second marriage lasted me 28 years. So you might say, I did something right in it, and I wish it was still happening today, but, cancer took her from me. We all learn and adjust as we go along folks. experiences we had, lead us to make the decisions we do each day, we draw from the past to make the present work daily, never forget that. It is a lesson we all learn as we grow older, mature and find our way in the world we live in.

 We can’t change somethings and others we have control over. Yet we learn and adapt to what we face as we go along, or if we do not, we suffer for not doing so. My life is like a roller coaster with it’s ups and downs, but, my second wife put a steadying hand on me and helped me through the rough times. She got me to go back to school, to graduate college, to stabilize and learn again. She encouraged me to learn, expand, become better, and at the sametime loved me. I miss her dearly and always will. As she knew and stated at one time, she told her own daughter, when she passes I would be fine because I am a realist. Fine I don’t know, but surviving I do, and I am so far and she has been gone since 2o21 and we just entered 2024.

 Someone asked me, what my resolutions are for 2024. I stopped and thought for a moment then. I haven’t really made any, but, if I did it would be to talk to more people, get out more, and hopefully meet a woman who is intelligent, fun and wnats a companion. I miss that ion my life and I miss a smiling face to smile back at, someone to converse with and help, and who wants the same in return. So, my basic idea is to move on as I turn 68 soon and do the best I can to smile, laugh, talk, joke and interact with others, and be myself the best I can. No one is perfect, no one expects you to be, but, if we are honest, loyal, ourselves, and we care enough, we can at least have fun in 2024.

 

 

The Westborough Dilemia for me!


 Hello January 4th 2023. As usual my morninga nd day started at 6 am, always up early it seems, must be aleftover from my service days. Ha dmy two coffees and took my meds, now I chat some and try to decide what to do for my day and with it.

  Each day is a new beggining and away we go 2024. Now the question is how to make it better for me, each day as i go. Finding new things to do or go or to meet people can be rough on someone my age, I am 67 soon to be 68. At some point I have to get out more and meet new people, but where and how I have yet to figure out here in Westboro, Mass.

 Westborough, Mass. is a quaint town, and a quiet one for sure. While I appreciate the fact it has so many banks and bars, and lots of money in it, it, still lacks places for people my age to have fun and meet others. The Senior Center is ok, but, slow always, many avoid it I believe unless i am stopping there on the wrong days or something, lol.

  I went to BJ’s in Northboro, to get a membership one day, and ended up flirting with two ladies there lol. Of course nothing happened except smiles and laughs but at least it was fun. I looked around a bit in there, big place lots there, so I will probally go back if for nothing else except gas or frozen food.

 I go to Solomon Mall to walk a lot, which is fun just to watch people go by and get some exercise, especially now in the winter months. I may walk it two or three times a week. I window shop and may stopandhave lunch in the food court there. Of course finding a woman to talk to or get to know there is a case that is slim to none, there days. The malls are not packed and most women stay to themselves anyway, they, are scared of talking to people they don’t know. So, I basically watch the crowds and people go by and stay by myself. I have learned, the women of Massachuestts are very careful and are scared or have anxieties and fears regarding men. Why, I do not know, but, there seems to me, that the women here, are putoffish and stuck-up, or something.

 I shall do my thing as normal of course iwalk here in my condo complex of the mall. I shop at SHop and Stop, and Walmart and Target. I used to bowl but, again that died out due to lack of interest of those in my complex. Then I play billards once a week on monday evenings, for fun and chat to people there and laugh and joke. reading I do, puzzle building I do and of course watching tv and such at home. Every now and then if I see a movie I really want to see I may go to a theather, to see it. I am not rich, so, I don’t try to spend a lot.

  So at times I feel like one of the characters in that old movie, Grumpy Old Men lol. Which one I am I don’t know for sure, there was Jack Lemon and Walter Matheu lol. Same old routine daily, putter around, say hello to folks ya know and just carry on. I can wish it was different for me, but, I can’t make it so, so far. I moved here in 2022, and I am lost and have no idea what to do or where to go for fun.

 Dating apps as I said before cost too much and again what I find is the women there don’t want a partner or boyfriend or man in their lives, except as a wallet for their wishes. Men get taken on those apps, the cost of the app, the paying of dinners for the women and it seems to me, the women have their own fears and anxieties there too, so they are always guarded and withdrawn or scared. Society it seems is now all digital , one on ones people fear and that goes for both sexes. Sadly, the loneliness syndrome is real in America, and the reasons are just what I am talking about. How to change it, is still a question that is ongoing, now-a-days.

 The News is never good from politics to crimes, very few good reports on anything anymore. Americans are growing tired of it all, and in the end, they ignore and do their own thing and wala, weend upwith the Trump fiasco, and a mess. Is there a way out of it all, we shall see as we enter the election year of 2024. I do know this, if Trump is found to be immune whilePresident and can’t be prosecuted or charged as he is now, then I pray for the fate of America, for that will mean all President’s can do what they please while in office without any consequences at all. Imagine then, what President’s could get away with while in office. I won’t take sides here, but my opinion is well known, in my blogs.

 I did the tour of the bars in the area, Neighborhood Tavern, Red Heat Tavern, JP’s and Central House. All have decent food and drink, and thats all I know of them really. Not a big drinker or a regular at any of them. They added the new Brewery Cold Harbor in town too, I hear it was great when it started but went downhill fast, due to lack of service, not enough employees I believe, only went and looked around once an dleft havent been back there yet.

 Anyway, 2024 has begun, I am gonna try to stay positive, hopefull and keep smiling as I go along and hope is all. 2024 has to be better than 2023, for all of us. Keep smiling, keep laughing and I will try to enjoy life as I do. Good Day to All!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Post Today Is My Poem!


                                     Dreams Don’t Go Away

                                     By: William M. McCurrach

 

I dreamed of peace. I dreamed of joy, I dreamed of things like all little girls and boys.

I dreamed of  love, I dreamed of caring, I dreamed of a family full of sharing.

I dream of all that could be, why couldn’t my dreams come true for me?

My Dreams were like every other child’s,

A World of fun, love and things so wild,

I did not dream of what happened to me,

I did not pick my mommy and daddy!

I did not ask to be brought into this world,

Any more than any other boy or girl!

I did not dream of living in fear,

I did not dream of siblings, who would not share,

Or,  a mother and father who had no care.

I did not ask for the beatings I got,

I did not ask to be hurt and threatened to be shot.

I did not ask for the memories I got,

Where I wake up running and sweaty from who knows what!

I dreamed of peace, I dreamed of joy,

I dreamed because I was a little boy.

The years of dreaming have gone by,

But I still feel the pain and see the beatings in my mind’s eye.

I see the poker coming down on my head,

His big hands,  grabbing me, and pulling me from my bed.

I wake up sweaty, my body trembles, my  mind races to survive,

My dreams you see were real for me,

Back when they were alive.

So, as you raise your children today, think of the pain of my memories and how they won’t go away!.

Please treat your children better is all I can say!.

 

Don’t Think the missing parent is missing on their own!


        Today’s subject may upset some people, and some children of people who were raised by second parents, like step-moms, or step-dads. But the subject must be discussed because I find the fact the some people think, because their original birth parent is not with them growing up that we forget them, don’t love them or like being replaced or that we left on our own free will, we didn’t. Parents leave their children behind for many different reason and if the parent is decent they will come back later and try to straighten out the feelings their children have of abandonment. We didn’t ask to be divorced, nor did we ask for the circumstances we had at the time, and not always are we responsible for leaving, we were forced out by the parent your living with, always remember that! Choice had to be made at the time of the leaving parents departure, like where would my kid or kids be better off, why would they be better off there and would  I or could i raise them on my own. For many fathers the truth is they won’t be able to handle raising a child on their own, they work too much and they can’t handle all of it alone. Even if most father’s won’t admit it it is true! 

        No father, or mother would voluntarily walk away from their child, unless they are on Alcohol or Drug Addicted, or Mentally Ill in some way.So the assumption by many children missing one parent or another, is the automatically to blame the missing parent. Wrong folks, it is more likely the parent you grew up with, the mother is the one that asked for the divorced and forced the father out for her own reasons. So reevaluate it and see the truth.