Tag: health

Constructive Criticism of UMASS Memorial Hospital’s Emergency Services


Recently, I have been going through some medical stuff. One is my back, whichI know full well, is associated to my bad herniated discs in my lower spine. The Second is a bout with controlling, my sugar levels from type 2 Diabeties and my Blood Pressure also. I depend normally, on The Veterans Clinic in Worcester, Mass. Which has done a terrific job of taking care of my medical needs.

The second I usually Depend on is Convienent MD, around the corner from me when things are not going right and they normally help me fine and things straighten out. I like it, and would use it more.

Finally, lets discuss, UMASS Memorial Hospital and their Emergency Room, Trauma Center. I went in on the basis of two things, because The Veteran’s Adminstraion told me to go there, for highh BLood Pressure and high sugar readings yesterday. I arrived early at 9 am there and complaine do my BP and Sugars being high and having pressure in my chest. They signed me in and then directed me to a EKG in the back, and took one then places me in a wheelchair outside the EKG area and left me there for hours, taking blood twice. Then they told me to go out to the waiting room, which I did. The Emergency Room Waiting area was full of people, sitting around in numerous conditions waiting to see Doctors.

People had been there ob=ver 30 hourts and counting waiting. Now, I uderstand it is a Trauma Center/ Emergency and they area busy place. Yet, the longest wait times ever exist here to see a real Doctor to even explain your test results. Sadly, people sit there, wanting to know the results of their testa nd if they are ok enough to go home, No one explains that the EKG is normal when it is or the blood tests are normal to you, they just make you wait to see a Doctor period. After numerous hour from 9 am to 12 pm, I sat waiting for the results and to see if i wa sok or not. I never did recieve the official results of see a actual Doctor. When you ask when you can see a Doctor or how soon or your numbe rin line, they look at you and tell you, We area Trauma center here and we have no place tp put people or rooms. We can’t tell you how soon you will be seen. Then, one of the nurses says to me, Sir if you don’t like our hospital you can go to another ypu don’t have to stay here. Thats just set me off honestly I had invested over 7 hours trying to get my test results and see an actual Doctor.

I stayed hoping even then just tpo see a Doctor an dmake sur emy EKG and Blood work was normal, so I was sure i was fine. By, Midnight, I had , had enough and basiclaly went up and had a nurse cut the wrist bands off an dtold her i was going home, I was done waiting. she was kind enough to cut my bands off, and tell me that if my EKG had sj=hown anything they would have whisked me in the back for immediate care. Then, before she would lalow me to leave, she took a peek at my blood test results. She said, and I quote, Sir I would never bother a Doctor with these results. That told me my blood work was fine. If i had been told that earlier i would have gone home, instead of waiting all that time. Their processes are screwed up in this Emergency Room due to the fact they are also a Trauma Center. The two in one combo does not work properly folks. And this is not the first time i have been through this experience with this Hospital’s Emergency Room. I know, if i have an Emergancy again, I shall not use them, it was a rude experience and uncomfortable and crazy to be there all that time an dnever see a Doctor. Others had been sittiing there over 30 hours waiting I found and one young lady had hurt her back at a gym she and told them she couldn’t sit yet they put her in the waiting room, in a hard wheelchair and she was crying on and off from pain. They ignored her repeatedly and just let her cry. I tried tpo help the ypoung woman, by getting them to provide her a pillow to sit on and they got one finally. But her pain persisted of course. I finallt told the young woman, you want them to help you have have two choices, one stand up and fall down on the floor and scream in pain and they will pick you up, they wil have no choice. Or make enough noice, crying till they come get you. It worked, they finally paid her attion and took her in. Sadly, that is what she had to do to get seen faster. This Hospital, is one messed up, mismanaged operation in my view.

If you are going to run a Trauma Center and Emergency Room you need to make changes to survive. 1) seperate the Trauma Center from the Emergency Room. 2) Hire more Doctors to man each,a nd more Nurses. 3) Be more picky on what Nurses and doctors you hire. The bedside manner of some of them is just crazy and ridiculous. 4) Expand the rooms you have in the Hospital for Admitting and for the care of patients. 5) You can not keep telling patients we have no rooms at the inn so to say and think you are going to maintain a Hospital and make money, you lose people we leave. 6) Then when patients who have waited long hours to see a Doctor, ask when they are going to be seen, you can not, sit there and tell them to go elsewhere is they do not like it. 7) And last but not finally, if you do not have rooms for patients due to overload, you ned to inform people immediately, so they can go elsewhere, not check them in, and make them wait forever. As a Hospital and a facility, that is supposed to help the people an dprovide for them, you must be responisible enough to say, we have no room here at the Inn so to say, much like Joseph and Mary were told, before Jesus’s birth. Be honest, put upa damn sign an d let people know you are overloaded, so they don’t wiat these long periods and get angry.

If as a Hopsital you can not afford to expan and seperate these two units, you will not last much longer. people will begin to go else where. People like myself wil lbegin to write blogs and reviews of your services and lack of services and problems. It’s not to be derogortory of your Hospital or your Emergency Room or Trauma Center, it’s a constructive critizism of it all that is intended here, with suggestion to help inprove it. The Emergency Room/ trauma Center is intirely mismanaged and not being operated correctly. If you have too many people coming in do something baout it, don’t let them suffer and wait.

The President of the Board, that Operates this Hospital is a Doctor Lynda Young, who chairs the board. She need to know these problems exist and she needs to know she has staff with lack of abilities and bedside manners too. Yet, as i wa stold she or the hospital as a whole wil ignore it all. You can’t be profitable or make money getting patients angry, or sending them else where after they come and check in. It will not work Doctor Young. so in the end likeme many will come yes, but like me also, many wil lwalk out, upset, angry and wanting to be seen by Doctors. They wil go elsewhere of course, and then in the end, it won’t make your opertaion, any better, it wil only decline not onlt in the services you provide by in the patient inflow. Wake up and fix this!

Socializing Challenges for Seniors in Westborough, MA


March 1st, 2025, Morning has broken here in Westborough, Mass. The day is overcast so far and 44 degrees as of 9:04 am. Like many days, I have many questions and opinions of my own. Yet, while my political opinions do not match everyone, but, this blog is not that.

Westborough being the size it is and with the population it does currently has wants to make improvements. I get it, for every village, town or city wants to get bigger and collect more taxes. It’s nothing new in American lore, so to say.

Here in Westborough, Ma., there is a growing senior population, of which I am one. There are now, 3 55 plus communities here in town. The price range is 300 grand and up depending on which one you chose. And most seniors tend to like condos, it seems.

The biggest problem with this is, simple, Seniors really just have certain things to do in town. YOu choices are the Library, The Senior Center, or Gyms. Then you have the bars and taverns in town.

The Taverns and Bars are ok if you are under 55 and younger. Or if you have a lot of money to blow. If your a Senior like me, you pay your bills first and secondly, you save your money. Bars are crowded with the 20’s, 30, and 40’s, for age ranges. They are geared to that age range of course. Not for the 55 plus crowd. The other problem is if your like me, a non-drinker, you know better.

There are no Movies in town to go watch. No, Social Dances for Seniors, or meeting places if you are senior and single. Of course if you ask around, people tell you to Volunteer for something. So, you can do that with such things as the Food Bank and such. Yet, while you get to work some and interact some, the chances are slim you will meet someone, to date.

So, what does one do is, your a widower or widow in Westborough, Mass. and 55 and up? Where do you go to socialize? Well some say go shopping and you may run into somebody and start chatting that way. The truth is, if you approach a stranger that way, they will look at you strangely. Casual conversations. do work sometimes. Un;less your like me. At 69, I keep to myself, and i talk to very few. Publicly approaching a woman for me is scary. In today’s world, many are lonely, not only the elder community but, all ages. The older you get, the harder it is to do, we get stuck in our ways. In America the loneliness syndrome is real folks, especially on the eats coast of America here and it is growing. I know many think, I don’t know what I am saying and it is easy to fix. It’s not folks !

While I love life, I love adventures, I love music, I love having fun. It doesn’t stop the loneliness Syndrome from hitting me. It doesn’t stop it from hitting anyone else either. I have seen it in stores, even in Taverns and Bars here in Westborough, even in the mall in Marlboro. People sit alone, they don’t talk or approach. today’s society, is scared of saying something wrong, being rejected. It is kind of crazy isn’t it?

I have learned, not to approach women. They have made themselves inaccessible or approachable. They put up walls, they avoid eye contact. They are very fussy, and place limits on what men they talk to. Most men are doing the same. Why, well it comes down to some simple thoughts and ideas.

  1. No one wants to be someone’s piggy bank folks.
  2. No one wants someone who doesn’t care about themselves, appearances count
  3. No one wants a negative person as a mate or partner
  4. No one wants to have someone force their way into their life
  5. Politics is playing a large factor these days too, especially since Trump was reelected.
  6. Religious or not religious also plays a role here
  7. People have to watch what they say and to whom they say it
  8. Anger is huge in this country now a days

My question is this folks, how do you overcome, approachment, apprehension or fear? How does one overcome being scared of being taken, for you money or property? How do we as Senior Citizens 55 and up, overcome all of the above? It is beyond me, for sure. I try, but, in the end, it does not seem to work for me.

Finding places to go do things for the 55 plus crowd is rough also. Some of us Bowl for fun now a days. A few, play pool. Many of us like to walk for exercise also. We read and we may write. Build Puzzles at home alone and stare at our televisions every night. We know, you shouldn’t stay at home alone. Yet we do so out of lack of places to meet those our age range. It’s uncomfortable for a Senior citizen 55 and up to sit among younger folks. We feel we don’t fit in. Is that hard to understand? I think not. So, I ask, what does one do, if you are 55 plus, or like me 69? Where do we go what do we do? I ask this, and usually get the same answers I mentioned above in this post. So, I ask one more time, where do the senior citizens meet one another? Remember, I am 69 now, and I have heard all the advice above i mentioned. Is there a better way to meet someone in my age range in Westborough, Mass or the area? Please do not tell me dating apps, been there, done that, waste of money in my opinion. Just asking here.

Understanding Emotional Aging: A Deep Dive


Can we discuss the aging process, for all of us? Seriously, as we age certain factors begin to tell us what we can or can not do in life and with our bodies and minds. We notice them first as aches and pains, limits on movement, and forgetfulness. Then we, slowly begin to notice old friends begin to drift away, or pass away and we get lonelier over time, because we are set in our ways, and we basically learn, we don’t want to put up with other people’s bullshit, in our lives, or their little pet peeves, why because we have enough of our own to deal with. lol!

So we begin to slowly isolate seperate and then we complain about that isolation and separation and lack of interaction. yet we are the ones that stop it without realizing we are doing so. It is a process, as we age we go through, and believe it or not each of us do so as we age. Age is a factor, like time is, like mother nature is too. The world does grind us away as we live in it, we suffer through the weather, the heat, the cold, the precipitation, and then, we go damn, can’t we get decent weather anymore. Then, some of us fly south for warmer climates and then come home again in warmer months, and others join move to those warmer spots and settle in, till we pass.

Physically our bodies tell us, how much we can take and for how long by the process of how they do break down. mentally it is a slower decline rate for many and for some a very fast rate due to illnesses, we do not know how we get, but we do. we have the forgetful areas, the slip up times, the loss of control of tempers, or the emotional loss of controls also. We reach out for medical help and we learn, it is best to do so, so the conditions we do have do not get worse. the biggest threat as we age, is not our bodies, physically, not our minds, though we should keep them healthy and use them more. No, the biggest threat to aging folks, is actually the emotional turmoil we go through. Each time our emotion rise and fall, it drives us lower in that area we need most to survive, energy. Your energy gets drained by emotions faster than any other thing that happens to you. For as your emotional well being goes, so goes your mental and physical health. I know I sound crazy, but, if we stop and think about it, examine ourselves better, we find it is true.

Love brings us up and makes us happy, sadness slows us down and causes depression. As we go through each, we begin to experience highs and lows, and they do take their effects upon us do they not? The difference is as we age we do not handle these ups and downs, these highs and lows, emotionally in the same way, anymore. There is not the constant high of being in love, or the constant low of depression, unless, we let it happen to us, is that not the case? I think in my opinion, the less emotional turmoil we go through ion life, the longer we stay feeling better about ourselves, not only physically, but mentally and we reach an emotional level, we like to be at, an even knell so to say. At that point we balance as long as we can, and we strive to maintain what we have. Knowing full well, we can’t have it forever like we would like. we lose different things, the mate we chose, the children we raised, the family structures we loved so much and held so dear. In the end, we learn we must still go on alone, when all else is lost, for the opposite choice is not really one we wish to face. So, onward we go, and we survive, because believe it or not, we do not determine when we must pass from the earth and plane we live on, it is not in our control.

Someone asked me once, what I believe in, God or something else? I stopped and thought about it at one point and I came to realize something, some never do. Whether there is a God or not, there is a purpose for us all. I believe, we are placed upon this planet and plane of existence, to complete missions in our lives, of which we do not know exactly what they be. And as we go along in the lives we lead, we slowly accomplish those missions, without realizing we are. When we complete all we are intended to complete, then we are recalled back to from whence we came. We affect others life’s as we go along, and in each relationship we have, we are there for a reason we do not understand. Yet in the end, that person or relationship is affected by us and they either stick with us till they are fulfilled, or they get from us what they need and move on and we start the next mission. I know sounds like a crazy theory right, but, in the end, it is not, it may be the ultimate truth for all mankind. And that my friends and enemies, doubters or believers, or anyone else, maybe the bottom line!

Looking Back, Still here!


Saturday March 23rd, 2024, began for me at 5:30 Am, when I awoke. Chilly outside at this time 23 degrees and we are now in spring, yet it has ceased to actually have sprung, it seems. It, seems to be a morning for me of reflections and thoughts of the past mostly. I stop at times to think of my childhood, and growing up the way I did, under the circumstances my parents had and all my siblings and I.

We were never a rich family, and my step-father and my mother both worked all their lives , practically. Dad was a Machinist, who worked in a factory and mom a Nurse’s Aid, they both worked mostly the second shift 3 pm to 11 pm. To save money my elder brother would babysit us in the evening, until I was old enough to take over. He went off into the sports world playing any sport he could to escape, and I ended up the babysitter for my two younger brothers and my sister. I used to have to rush home everyday from High School to be there, when they left for work. Until, I hit a point in time, I met girls and made friends in the town we lived in. Then I basically escaped too. But, I always was forced to help dad rebuild the home, and the stone wall we had. I had to fight with my younger brother, who was mad as hell at dad for beating us and mistreating us, and he went after his younger siblings, until I stopped him. It was a position of older brother and protector I was forced into for a while and learned things from.

Eventually, I had enough and got fed up with it all and by my Junior Year of High School I quit school, got a job, and paid my parents a rent to live home. At one point I had blow-up with Dad and he threw me out into the street, clothes and all in a snow storm, I ended up in the YMCA, for a couple of years. I did The U.S. Army for about 6 months and got a trainee discharge, but, joined the National Guard. Did that for a few years, and then joined the Navy, for a good 12 years.

I was married the first time for 12 years, the last two separated from my wife and daughters and came home. My first wife I met in the Navy and it was a decent marriage until her past came back to haunt her. Once ethe divorce became final, I floundered some and move around, from the YMCA, to a apartment in a basement of someone’s building who gave me a break on the rent. I used to hang out in a friend’s apartment at times and at the Dunkin Doughnuts in town. Then I started looking for a way to start my life over, I was lonely. So I started going to Single’s Dances at a Tavern in a different town.

That’s where I met my second wife, who was really the love of my life. She was 16 years older than I, smart, pretty, a sense of humor and a lady I will love forever. We hooked dup on that dance floor first, dated some for the summer and by fall she invited me to move in with her. I did. We stayed together from there on for the next 28 years, in two different homes in two different cities. Our life was a quiet one for 28 years as we worked at first untilI couldn’t anymore due to Naval Injuries, and then lived off my disabilities and out social securities until she died. We paid off the home we had and we would always go to visit her kid, he family and the only one I saw was my sister now and then.

I was fine, because my family was never close. Then in 2005, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and the battle to keep her alive began. Doctor’s, tests, prescriptions and then ultimately chemo and radiation, until she went into remission. Then, I got lung cancer in 2013, and had a lobe and a third of my lung removed, no chemo or radiation needed and survived. Then her breast cancer returned, and the treatments came back, taking her back and forth all the time. COVID hit and she had to suffer thru the treatments on her own for a few months until they let me in with her. Then COVID restraints were lifted and we kept her on them steady. Finally at one point the Doctors told us the treatments were not working for her anymore and dher cancer was advancing, she opted to go to Immunno therapy then. I had no say, because it was the last resort for her and she knew it.

Immuno Theraphy it was for a year or so,until they shut her off and I was pushing her in a wheel chair to the Doctors each week for check-ups. She recovered some and was able at one point to be as close to normal as she could and even walked around the house and such. It was almost normal in all ways. Then, one night it was bedtime, I looked at her and said lets go to bed, she said no, she was staying in my recliner that nite. I went up to bed and went to sleep, till 3 am, when I heard the walls banging. I rushed downstairs, and found her, on the floor in the doorway to the bathroom. She had fallen and hit her head, I got her up and into a chair and tried to check her, but, she wasn’t well. I then told her I was calling an ambulance she refused and told me to call her daughter. I did, but, that only delayed me calling the ambulance and off to the hospital we went. We went through her hospitalization the first time halfway decent, took her two months to get back home after a stay in a rehab facility. I visited her daily, talking to her, watching TV with her, staying with her all I could. Then, she came home for a while once more for about a month.

One night we were atching television together, and she slumped to one side in her chair. I asked her why she was slumping, she said she didn’r know and I knew she wasn’t right. I called an ambulance again and off we went to the Emergency Room. They admitted her, treated her for two weeks the best they could then sent her off to a new Rehab in Hartford. For a month I drove there each day, spending time with her as she tried to recover once more, until a doctor came in and told her and I they were transferring her back to the rehab near our home. What I didn’t know and learned at that time was her cancer has spread to her bones and blood stream and brain and she has a small tumor in her brain. I was hocked and scarred now, but I stayed strong for her, the best I could.

My wife knew she was dying, at that point, and tried to fight back the best she could. I stayed with her, and tried to feed her the best I could,watch TV with her, talk to her all I could. But, by now it was the beggining of July of 2021, and she was fading fast. I came in one day in late July to find her trying to eat an durable to get the food to her mouth, so I fed her and went to see the Aministrator of the Rehab. I asked why she wasn’t being fed, and was upset. The Administrator looked at me and told me they are doing what they could. I asked how much longer her medicaid would cover and was told three more days. I called in Hospice and set her up to come home in two days.

The Hospice team set up a bed and equipment for her in our home and she came home to me, on July 29th, 2021. If ed her, hired a nurse to clean her daily and did the best I could. I had my sister come help me with her and tried to get her daughter too come and help. In the end, we did all we could for my wife, I know I did, On August 1oth, 2021, the nurse came to clean her, and told me she would not touch her. I asked why and she said, she had seen this stage before and my wife was on her way out. The nurse stayed for her hour I paid for and then left, 20minutes later, my wife passed. The cancer had won and I had lost. I still remember I had kissed her forehead and told her I loved her, and her last words to me were she loved me too.

Ten days later, we buried my wife, and I said my final goodbye to her by her grave as I cried. After 16 years of her fighting cancer rit was over, she was finally at rest. Thank God for that, for she had suffered bravely for those 16 years. As to me, I had to go on, which meant, selling all in the house and the house and getting out of it myself. My sister helped me thru it all and I stayed with her till I could find a place of my own, in another town and state nearer to her. Now a days, I live in a 956 ft. condo in Massachuetts, by myself, I am lonely at times and sometimes find myself reminising and looking back. I miss her everyday and I know she can’t come back and I can not reach her either. So I struggle at times, and push through the best I can, it will be three years in August of this year 2024. As to what happens to me, I do not know, I go day by day and push through the best I can, living in a 55 plus community in strange town, but, I am still here. The question is for how long and what is next ?

Changes/Writings/ Preamble/Health


       Changes come and go in life, and that includes relationships, people and jobs. It includes Doctors, Lawyers and more too, sadly each lose, causes changes in emotions in people. That is why the whole of human nature still spins on planet earth is it not? we survive by reaching out when we need someone or something to survive and they sometimes come from unexpected sources so to say. But if the fates allow it, they can work out also and make life better for all.

        Next Subject; as many know I write and a lot of my writings I have made into little shorts and short books and try to sell them on Amazon’s Kindle E-books. My Luck has not been there so to say, my writings  don’t seem to sell well. I have thought many times my stories were assembled well and good enough for others to spend a buck to buy and enjoy. I guess I am wrong on that point, so my 41 works  sit in Amazon’s E-Book library waiting on someone to find and like them. Nothing I can do except keep trying to write on subjects I know something about, or an stories I may believe are good enough to sell that i make up. Nothing much more one can do is there?

           I did commence work on a new story, I am calling Phasing- I hope at some point to finish it and edit it properly before releasing it at all. It’s just barely begun, but i hope when I finish it, it will entertain and impress some people, but it will be a slow work. I did the Preamble to it and started and finished one part so far.

           

                                        Phased Life Time

                                               Preamble

       Blurred Vision is all I have; I can see basic shapes but no, clarity here can’t move I am frozen in one spot! Slowly things start to phase in, a building then the brick in it, and windows, become clearer, the floor comes thru next appearing below my feet. Suddenly, I am here, on earth it seems, in a building still frozen in place as things become clearer all around me, slowly phasing in for me, but it is all material things found on earth, windows, doors, bricks, floors and some furniture slowly comes into vision. Slowly everything becomes more solid, the floor I can now feel beneath my bare feet, it is cold and damp but it’s now solid. Where the hell am I , I don’t know yet, but all I can do is wait frozen in place as it all comes into slow focus now.

       Each moment that passes by brings more vision to me and makes it clearer to me, I am on earth, but where and when, what year is it, what date and where are the people I see nothing but a window, a floor, a brick wall, and nothing else still. Everything phases in and then back out and then back in, what’s wrong with me, what is happening? I don’t know, so I suck, in a big breath, and try to steady myself standing there, unable to do much else. I feel a little dizzy and uncertain as things come into focus my stomach is doing flips and my head aches from a headache that is unbearable in my mind. I don’t know what happened what the hell is wrong with me? What is going on, nothing is stable it feels like I am going in and out of somewhere, but where and why and what the hell happened? Finally, I see a metal bed against a wall and stumble to it, falling hard on it and finally resting on the surface in a prone position, I fall asleep now. My body and mind has been pushed to the limits I can feel it as I pass out, and can’t do a thing about it, just sleep and the darkness takes me away.

             The above is the Preamble I put together for it, it wil cover adventures in time and space so to say. I will see how it goes, and how I work it, I hope impressive enough to grab and hold a readers attention, I will indeed see.

             Well, Next is  the health question for me, I have had to face the fact I am a cancer survivor and that my body basically turned against me in such a way. I survived it all, after lung cancer surgery last September 2013. Now I face more tests coming up on April 23rd, one will  be an MRI of my liver, where a spot has been found that was never there before. The second is my throat, the esophagus  swollen and they want to find out why. So they are going down through my mouth with a scope to my small intestines, and hope to make sure no polyps are in there or in my throat. Hopefully, it is no more than just acid indigestion problems and I will be fine, but time shall tell. No one knows until the test results come back is all I can say. I di get lite headed, a lil  dizzy and very tired at times where I must lay down. But what causes it at 58 I have no idea, but the tests could find out I guess. Sometimes I believe fully the life essence which is me, is slowly ebbing away inside this mortal body. Time shall tell.

 

 

Health Updates and Tests


       We all get tested in life, when I was a baby I suffered through 199 seizures and survived, then I went through Hyper-Activity and Attention Deficit Disorder and overcame to go on to being a service member in three branches, U.S. Army, National Guard and Navy. I went through the test of surviving those years and going on to survive 6 herniated discs in my spine, ptsd, depression and more.

        I feel I am tested more now then back then, period. I suffer from depression, anxiety,ptsd,six herniated discs, plus now have sleep apnea, and now have survived lung cancer too since last August 2013. Today I went to the Doctor for a six month check-up after a cat scan and blood tests were done on me. Again, I am tested more, for while my lungs of which they took 1 and one third lobes from are fine now and clear, no sign of cancer. But, now my esophagus is in trouble and thick for some reason, and needs scoped out. And to add to the fun and games the cat scan shows a spot on my liver they don’t know what it is yet so that is an MRI coming up next. What other tests will I face and pass or fail I do not know, I just know each day is becoming a challenge in and of it’s own right.

         My father God Bless him lived till only 55 and died of lung cancer, my mother lived till age 59 and died of lung cancer too. Me, I am currently at 58 years old, and unsure if tomorrow will come or not half the time, will I go past mom’s 59 I have no idea. One day, one Doctors Appointment and test at a time is all I can say. Lord have mercy on me is all I can say. But I am old, stubborn and ornery as they say and I refuse to go yet, so I shall fight on no matter what is next.

Survivial at it’s Best


  At 57 soon to be 58 years old it is hard to believe that 2013 is slipping away one day at a time now. I have seen 57 years of life, strife, laughter and work, and it seems no matter how you look at it, there is  still a purpose to my being here, what it is I have yet to realize.

        I believe that all of us are put here on this planet for a reason, a mission so to say we must accomplish in our lifetimes, in order to return from whence we came. Some missions are simple and given to people who die young and they accomplish them without knowing why and head back to their maker in a hurry. Others, take longer to get there is all, like me and billions more across the globe we live on. Amazingly, we do find that mission at some point complete it and then suddenly we are gone from the planet, because we did what we came here to do. So, who knows when I shall be recalled and what I must get done to get to rest again, but I do know I am trying to do and be my best.

          I survived so far, 199 seizures as a baby boy in the first nine months of my life, till I was dropped on my head and they stopped. I survived a step-father who beat myself and my siblings senseless many times over, I survived being the outcast in school, institutionalized as a 10-year-old for two years and returning home. I survived being bullied in Elementary School, High School and more in my teens. I survived puberty which is amazing in itself to me and then went on to survive more. I survived 16 years of Military Life that gave me in the end depression, anxieties, PTSD, six herniated discs in my spine and sleep apnea. I survived a divorce and a lost of my children and fought to see them again and won. Now the latest survival for me, was cancer.  I have survived Lung Cancer Surgery, they took my middle lobe of my right lung and the small cell cancer out in September 2013 and here I be still alive. Why I still don’t know, but here I am.

         My mission in my book these days is to try to straighten out the mess that occurred around and during my divorce from my first wife. Vindictive people who lie should be arrested for ruining too many people’s lives. Sexual Abuse of any kind is nasty and it is even nastier if you are falsely accused of it and have to fight your way out of it over decades. I know I survived that false accusation also and fought to get to the truth and get it revealed and did. Again it is surprising I am still here, trying to straighten out a mess my ex-inlaws caused with their children and then to me and my children too. Will it be solved, probably not, but I know I worked to clear my name and got a admittance from the daughter who accused me, that she was told to say what she did. So I went on in life and do what all men do, take it one day at a time and Survive!

 

Health, Prince George/Survival/Stories


      Welcome to Hacker and wheezerville a place for people with lung problems. We hack, we cough, we spit of  blood and we try to breath here! Ah life shall go on I guess, even when sick right? Went to the Doctor and hospital, cat scan was done, spots on one lung near connector at top pretty good sized. Doctor has looked at it and yesterday became test day for me, I went through PUlmonary Breathing Tests, a Pulmonary doctor, then blood tests, and then a MRI of brain and a Pet Scan of full body to find out if anything has spread from my lung to anywhere else in body. Time shall tell next, so I await the results. Taking it all one day at a time until I have a diagnosis at least, but I suspect cancer has hit me, like my parents before me.

Next subject folks, The royal baby has been named George Alexander Louis, my question is why? LOL, don’t the British Monarch realize it was King George who tried to keep America as a colony and failed at it so bad? Ah at least Americans know, it can’t be repeated King George or not!

My Medical journey has begun to find out what is in my lungs with all the above tests mentioned. What it is, is suspected to be cancer, if it is I shall fight on till it overcomes or I overcome is all I can do. It comes on top of 6 herniated discs in my spine from Naval injuries, sleep apnea, PTSD, and Depression what a lucky old sailor I be huh.?  I shall survive in anyway I can like any other human being would try to do, I fight is all I can do. In the meantime life continues along at it’s usual pace, as my dad said before he died, the seconds turn to minutes, the minutes to hours the hours to days, the days to weeks and the weeks to months and then years. It shall continue long after i am gone and I hope the best for mankind and humanity of course.

Attached is links to my stories on Amazon’s Kindle E-Books: 

“God Damn It!” —http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CMXD1TU

The Serial Killer he wanted to get and did, at what price!

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DZPFKYS
Disappearing Hams
A Navy story of humor, and sailors out smarting Officers!
Ya might like this if ya like a laugh now and then and silly stories!

“False Accusations”
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DYAID6G

A true story of how abuse ruined not one, but three families and lasted for decades!

“Angie’s Folly” —-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CPMGIAC
“My Maria“——-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CS3BTOS
“The House on Phoenix Avenue”—–http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D910XBS

“Dark Secrets Overcome”
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DJR1OKG

A story of False Accusation of sexual abuse and the destruction the original criminal did not only to his family but to mine too from the period from 1978 to 2013!

 

America Are you Abandoning ?


      America, America, God shed it’s light on thee, and Crown thy good with brotherhood, from sea to shinning sea! I used to sing this song each day while i served my country for sixteen years in three different branches of service. I did the Army first which I wa stoo young and immature to be in at the time and , then went back to the Army National Guard and then finally the US Navy. Sixteen years I gave on the belief that America was and is the greatest country in the world to live in and call my own. I thought of family and friends as I served in ships across the world steaming from port to port and doing missions asigned to us. I love America and I gave my spine up for it and for my children and wife at the time, yes as I humped my ass off and did my jobs I did precisely that, I thought of how American Families are safe because of the military and what I was doing.

       Now a days I am a Disabled Veteran who takes pills daily for blood pressure problems, to prevent strokes an dheart attacks of which I have had two. I take pain pills for my spinal injuries and pills for depression due to PTSD, and I lay down when my spine won’t let me stand up. I do less each day and I depend on The Veteran’s Hospital to take care of me here at home, and through my disability payments I get and social security disability I survive. I don’t have medical insurance i can’t afford it. I am not rich or even upper middle class I am regular low income folks. I struggle to provide for myself and my family, and those i love, but thats life when you don’t work, or because you can’t.

        I can’t go out an dbuy new computers, or I pads or Tablets or video games, I have to get used when I can find the money for them. My clothes are older now and my tee shirts ripped and torn, my sneakers give out and i go back to old ones for some to wear. These are now the ways Americans in their fifties, sixties, and sevenities have to think. You can’t go out to eat, or to a movie unless you planned for it ahead of time, life in the USA is not the same way it was growing up.

        America, America, God forsaked us you see, for he left you and met jobless, hungry and homeless you see, America, America, why did you forsake me, I served you well and went through hell and yet you abandoned me. Across America Veterans, and average everyday people who need disability, social security, medicaid, and medicare, cry out for help and Congress wants to cut these benefits, why so you can kill off the generation that produce and protected the country we live in. STop and thionk please, and lets see if we can get America, America, back to God’s good graces, and help our disabled, veterans, and elderly survive longer and live happier.

10 Silly Stupid Things/ Life!


      Funny little things people don’t realize or see, are what sometimes can bother you or me, or at least make us laugh or cry. They happen on television, or in real life situations, or by accident but they do happen don’t they?

       1) Ever stop at a convience store to use the rest room?  A man runs in yelling where is the men’s room and holds himself, a woman walks in where’s the ladies room and doesn’t even cross her legs, why is that?

       2) A woman can shop till they drop no matter how tired she is as long as she likes the sale items, a man wants to go get what they want and get the hell out?

   3)   Women mature at younger ages than men, period! It’s a fact of nature and humanity, that’s why they notice boys, before boys notice girls, hormones and fermones.

   4)  Men think they rule the world, when in fact women do, even in America. Ask President Obama who his boss is, his wife! Ask any married man or one in a relationship who the boss is they say themselves, put the ring on and the woman controls!

     5) Politics, ever notice during primaries, politicians will change and say whatever to get your vote, but once elected they can’t give what they promised? Happens every four years doesn’t it?

     6) Everyday I see CNN and newscasts across America, the economy is getting better, gas is coming down and houses are getting worth more! Reality nothing changes we are losing jobs, house prices are going down  and companies are going out of business. Just ask JC Penny, Macy’s Sears, and many more now! Why do they lie to us so?

      7) Video games are good for your children and great for fun! Bullshit, they get violent, teach killing and make our children fat and lazy. Notice that at all?

      8) The Catholic and other churches preach one thing and do another, they molest children, hide the ones who do it and preach not to. Why is that?

     9) How come when a woman gains weight and goes out of shape a man is not allowed to call her overweight or fat? Yet when a man gets over weight we get your too big, rfat, you got a pot belly, etc?

  10) How come women can buy thousand of dollars worth of shoes to match almost every outfit they buy, but when a husband wants a toy or a tool he has to beg for it?

     These are just ten of the silly things one can find in an American town or marriage or life. Silly they may be, we all live with them and laugh and cry over them all and carry-on. Life shall not stop for us, no matter what goes on in the world, but, neither will silly, stupid things either!