Tag: LIfe

Socializing Challenges for Seniors in Westborough, MA


March 1st, 2025, Morning has broken here in Westborough, Mass. The day is overcast so far and 44 degrees as of 9:04 am. Like many days, I have many questions and opinions of my own. Yet, while my political opinions do not match everyone, but, this blog is not that.

Westborough being the size it is and with the population it does currently has wants to make improvements. I get it, for every village, town or city wants to get bigger and collect more taxes. It’s nothing new in American lore, so to say.

Here in Westborough, Ma., there is a growing senior population, of which I am one. There are now, 3 55 plus communities here in town. The price range is 300 grand and up depending on which one you chose. And most seniors tend to like condos, it seems.

The biggest problem with this is, simple, Seniors really just have certain things to do in town. YOu choices are the Library, The Senior Center, or Gyms. Then you have the bars and taverns in town.

The Taverns and Bars are ok if you are under 55 and younger. Or if you have a lot of money to blow. If your a Senior like me, you pay your bills first and secondly, you save your money. Bars are crowded with the 20’s, 30, and 40’s, for age ranges. They are geared to that age range of course. Not for the 55 plus crowd. The other problem is if your like me, a non-drinker, you know better.

There are no Movies in town to go watch. No, Social Dances for Seniors, or meeting places if you are senior and single. Of course if you ask around, people tell you to Volunteer for something. So, you can do that with such things as the Food Bank and such. Yet, while you get to work some and interact some, the chances are slim you will meet someone, to date.

So, what does one do is, your a widower or widow in Westborough, Mass. and 55 and up? Where do you go to socialize? Well some say go shopping and you may run into somebody and start chatting that way. The truth is, if you approach a stranger that way, they will look at you strangely. Casual conversations. do work sometimes. Un;less your like me. At 69, I keep to myself, and i talk to very few. Publicly approaching a woman for me is scary. In today’s world, many are lonely, not only the elder community but, all ages. The older you get, the harder it is to do, we get stuck in our ways. In America the loneliness syndrome is real folks, especially on the eats coast of America here and it is growing. I know many think, I don’t know what I am saying and it is easy to fix. It’s not folks !

While I love life, I love adventures, I love music, I love having fun. It doesn’t stop the loneliness Syndrome from hitting me. It doesn’t stop it from hitting anyone else either. I have seen it in stores, even in Taverns and Bars here in Westborough, even in the mall in Marlboro. People sit alone, they don’t talk or approach. today’s society, is scared of saying something wrong, being rejected. It is kind of crazy isn’t it?

I have learned, not to approach women. They have made themselves inaccessible or approachable. They put up walls, they avoid eye contact. They are very fussy, and place limits on what men they talk to. Most men are doing the same. Why, well it comes down to some simple thoughts and ideas.

  1. No one wants to be someone’s piggy bank folks.
  2. No one wants someone who doesn’t care about themselves, appearances count
  3. No one wants a negative person as a mate or partner
  4. No one wants to have someone force their way into their life
  5. Politics is playing a large factor these days too, especially since Trump was reelected.
  6. Religious or not religious also plays a role here
  7. People have to watch what they say and to whom they say it
  8. Anger is huge in this country now a days

My question is this folks, how do you overcome, approachment, apprehension or fear? How does one overcome being scared of being taken, for you money or property? How do we as Senior Citizens 55 and up, overcome all of the above? It is beyond me, for sure. I try, but, in the end, it does not seem to work for me.

Finding places to go do things for the 55 plus crowd is rough also. Some of us Bowl for fun now a days. A few, play pool. Many of us like to walk for exercise also. We read and we may write. Build Puzzles at home alone and stare at our televisions every night. We know, you shouldn’t stay at home alone. Yet we do so out of lack of places to meet those our age range. It’s uncomfortable for a Senior citizen 55 and up to sit among younger folks. We feel we don’t fit in. Is that hard to understand? I think not. So, I ask, what does one do, if you are 55 plus, or like me 69? Where do we go what do we do? I ask this, and usually get the same answers I mentioned above in this post. So, I ask one more time, where do the senior citizens meet one another? Remember, I am 69 now, and I have heard all the advice above i mentioned. Is there a better way to meet someone in my age range in Westborough, Mass or the area? Please do not tell me dating apps, been there, done that, waste of money in my opinion. Just asking here.

Why Resolutions Fail: Embrace Change Instead


Hello, January 2025, it’s already the second day of the New Year. As January begins, I am looking forward to trying to get out more, see things more and meeting new people and seeing new places. It won’t be easy to do for me, since I am going to be 69 soon, but, it is an option I am looking at. I tire of being a widower, and being alone, but, at almost 69, I am, so what to do is what i ask these days.

As 2025 starts and America rolls back to the Trump era again, I wonder, how bad it can get for all of us. How bad will the economy become under Trump, will he wage a war against his rivals and the justice system that convicted him? What will he do on the wall on the border, who will pay for it and how will it get done? How many agencies and Departments will he try to kill, or shut down and why, is education one? So many questions surround what is coming in 20 days, for America and it’s people, will anyone be able to slow Trump’s madness down and control him some? Time shall tell, I am sure.

All of the above happening in 2025, and in the end, people still make resolutions each new year! I came to the conclusion, resolutions are not worth making, why, simple, most make them, New Years Eve, and by the 15th of the month, they drop em and forget em. So, I thought about it and said why resolve to do anything, anymore, I am about to turn 69 this month? My thought was instead of a resolution, make changes to my life. For if you don’t change a thing it will all remain the same! Make an effort to meet new people, go new places, laugh more and treat people with respect and be kind. That’s a process one can do on your own, if you try, be real, be kind, be generous and laugha lot and help others. Beats making Resolutions you drop in 15 days don’t it? Try it, ya may fly it, as they say, lol!

Each day is a new beginning, each night a sleep pattern that works, at least for now. I say play nice, have fun, take care of business and your health, and in the end try to laugh and smile more. A smile a day and some laughter too, will make life better for me and for you ! When your down and worried and ya have some troubles you carry, remember to just work them through, and bring that smile back to the real you. The world does not work if your depressed, it does not work when angry. So don’t go down those roads my friends, try to smile and laugh till your end, and always know, you can make a new friend. Welcome to 2025, welcome to the present and future !

Reflecting on Life as 2025 Approaches


I think everyone, gets to a point in life, where we stop and reflect on our life, and try to decide where or what to do next, if of course we are healthy enough to.

As 2024 is getting closer to it’s end and the new year shall begin, I do the same I do each year. I examine where I have been, what I have done and try to decide if I did right or wrong in certain cases. The idea is to not make any mistakes or problems in my future. I have taken to not reacting harshly to much these days, and the only thing that ever got me angry, was when a guy tried to take advantage of my wife who passed in 2021. So, unless, someone attacks the ones I call family I do not get mad. I will walk away before I will fight over stupidity.

As I look back at 2024, I find I did things as usual for me. I just go to my Doctors when needed, walk when I can, build puzzles and read. I also walk when I can depending on weather of course. I do participate in playing pool on Monday evening, and Mexican Train Dominos on Wednesday evening. I was doing Friday Afternoon Mexican train Dominos, but I won’t anymore for personal reasons.

Del Webb Chauncy Lake as a community, will be expanding soon enough over time, to a compound, of 14 buildings, 50 condos per. When you figure it out it’s 700 condos. That leaves us as one person said, a large part of Westbourgh’s, Mass. tax base. Hopefully we can maintain some kind of involvement with the town, so we have our say. We have the ability and the people to do it, if we keep abreast of all happening.

As 2025, is now not far off, I see myself, as doing what I think is right for me. I shall maintain what I have of course. As to what to do, well, I try to avoid large crowds, and I know I am not Mr. Popular anyway. Never was Mr. Handsome, or Mr. Personality, and I avoid confrontations and arguing. I find that people do not like me, most of the time. My sense of humor some say is strange, sometimes I speak too fast or soon. I do try to get along with everyone I can, but there will always be some, it doesn’t work with. Thus the avoidance factor I brought up earlier. Get angry around me or upset, I feel it is my fault I leave and won’t bother again. I am old now, so I am set in my ways, in situations, of course.

Someone accuses me of something suddenly, bye. Some judge me wrong, some think I am rude or crude. But, my humor is hard to take at times, and misunderstood. Some I poke fun at, or joke with, it is all a game is all. I have come along way from my childhood of attention deficit disorder and hyperactivity. I lived with those in my childhood years and at times they get me today at 68 going on 69.

The more I stay alone, and away from people the better it is for me, I think so I isolate and stay home. It’s a crazy idea but it works, can’t see me, can’t say I did something, lol. when you get to my age, you know damn well when someone doesn’t like you, and you do avoid.

All of the above just means not many changes will happen to or for me. I don’t attend every event planned here, nor do I plan any. I try to stay away, for these are open events paid for by those who attend them. And I am far from socially as adept as many others here. Never was a social animal, have always been one to stay away and alone and watch from a distance. I think, I never had the right social skills as a kid and as an adult. Yet I survived two marriages, and the service. Not bad. As 2025 comes in, I plan on trying to open up some, but I know, it won’t be easy. It is like I told some people I just talked to about a club, I haven’t talked in front of people in a long time. I tend to avoid women. Most men here, have no problem with women, me well, what can I say. I don’t trust many people that’s for sure, never did. I still have the Navy in me in many ways also, once a sailor always a sailor they say. I don’t drink really, I am not a party person for sure. So, as I go forward, I am going to do what I have for a while since moving here. One day at a time, avoid confrontations and arguments, avoid those who don’t like me. As I told one person, I only come out of my condo for certain things these days. 1) Doctors, 2) grocery shopping 3) Billard’s on Monday evenings, Mexican Train Dominos on Wednesday evening. I walk, I mind my own business, and I try to treat all with the same respect I want for myself. That is how my New Year shall be, it’s like a resolution by me. Time will tell. Some say, volunteer for something to do, so I have. Some say go to church, I am non-religious so that’s out. if I walked into a church it would probably fall on my head. So, the town of Westborough, is like the small town I live in my my teens. All we had were bars, taverns, banks and churches. I am old and I get bored at times, I feel the loneliness of course, but, struggle through like others I had met. It’s a process is all and we live through it all, don’t we?

Embracing Life After Loss: Lessons Learned at 68


December 15th, 2024, it is chilly and cold outside today, the sun is shinning bright here, in Westborourgh, Mass. The day began for me at a lil after 6 am. Each day is different for sure and it doesn’t matter, who your neighbors may be or where you live. Time seems to move right along at a steady pace. I have now loved alone, basically since my wife died, and it is now over 3 years, since she passed. And yes I still think of her constantly, especially when someone or something reminds me of her. But, I also have learned she is not coming back and to look ahead, for I am still here. I have learned to live each day for myself, do the best I can, and have the most fun I can.

Well, sometimes, things happen, and you can’t change them, nor, did you intend them, but, wham they smack ya upside the head. Or someone thinks you did something and you didn’t, and wham again, it’s another smack at ya. I really, don’t care which it is, I just wish it would stop happening to me, these stupid things. I was leaving yesterday to go to the store and as I passed through the lobby on my way out, a lady was bending over and picking up some packages she ordered. As I was going out the door I looked back and she told me I was looking at her ass! I wasn’t of course but, she accused me of that. I told her, I did nothing wrong and she was the one bent over, not my fault, lol. I didn’t want to say what I was going to, which was, Lady I don’t give two cents about your ass! But, as usual I am too polite to do that, so I just left it and went to the store. Afterwards, I thought of seeking her out and telling her, I wasn’t looking, but, she wouldn’t believe me anyway, so I said fuck it. Silly shit happens all the time, when you live in a 55 plus community like I do. I could care less about her assor any other women’s to be honest, at 68 soon to be 69, seen enough of em. lol

Onward I go, throat was scratchy and sore this am, so I got some ice cream and cough drops for it and some chicken for the NFL games later. In the meantime, I wonder if I am doing the right thing, by trying to get out more and interact with others or not. Seems, some people don’t like me period, and because of that I usually stay at home. I don’t like people who think their shit don’t stink, or think they are better than everyone else, or smarter than all. Their not really, they just have this big ego and big mouth they use to say stupid things without thinking first. But, hey, as mom told me as a child, engage brain before you speak, is the only advice I can give these folks. Some accuse other of doing things they never did, and some accuse others of things they think we did, when in fact they do them themselves. It’s a crazy world ya know, and humanity itself, is not really stable in all ways. I know I am not loved by many, who live here and as far as I am concerned I am not worried about it, anymore. I used to worry about it, but then, I figured out, no one is going to love everybody and no will get along with everyone either, so why force it. I am me, and that is who I be, if you don’t like me avoid me and I shall return the favor for you. I think that makes better sense then hiding, or fighting with someone verbally, mentally or physically. So that is how I live, so if I don’t talk to you, much, please understand, it’s either you made it clear by your actions and replies you don’t like me, or I just don’t care for you either. I hope that makes sense. I know it does for me.

In my life, I have many different friends, and I still have some from when I was 14 years old and guess I always will, at least I hope so. I still have friends from my service days too, and my two marriages actually. I am not that difficult to get along with really. Yet, for some strange reason, some misread me, or don’t like my sense of humor or style, whatever. I can only say what I always say to some, I am me, who else can I be! So, as life goes on, I have learned I don’t like stuck up people, I don’t like people who think they are better than I. I don’t like people who think you said or did something when you didn’t, and who never stop to ask, if you did. I am not in love with liars, or thieves, I hate violence also. I think live should be live peacefully, and it should be fun. I had enough pressure situations in my life, in my childhood, my teenage years and as an adult who was married twice and in the service for 16 years. all I want is some peace, and happiness, some laughter, a way to relax. Is that too much to ask folks?

Now being 68 and turning 69 in a lil over one month, I cam honestly say, I never hurt anyone on purpose. I never was a physical person, nor did I torture or bother anyone mentally. I am not a vengeful soul either, I usually just walk away. No sense trying to change anyone else, the only time I hit anyone was to protect myself, period. Time does not change my nature or who I be, I shall always be just me.

Since moving here, I have seen many different types of people, both male and female. The stuck up woman, or the macho man images come to mind for some. Then there is the intellectual types, or those who rely on an attempt at humor to fit in. Then, there is the sarcastic ones too, they are sarcastic about everything they say to anyone and try to hide it behind a giggle, or a laugh, saying they didn’t mean it when they did. people are funny, and you can usually read it, if your patient, and smart enough to. You learn, you see, and you react appropriately, to avoid problems. That’s my way anyway. I never judge a book by it’s cover, I learned long ago, what’s inside a person may be totally different than the cover they show. All, have a way of protecting themselves in place they have learned to do, as they go along.

After two marriages, Two of everything for 40 years, I am now back to just me. No woman in my life, no children to pay for, no big homes to care for, just a decent condo, in a 55 plus community in a small Massachusetts town. A small car and all I need to survive. I read a lot these days, some politics, some murder stories, some biographies. I build puzzles, Walk when the weather is good. I play on the internet, and watch television. It is one day at a time for me now. Shop one day for food, do my laundry as needed, cook for myself and thats my way of life, simple is all. No I do not chase the women here and never will, just so that is known by those who thought otherwise.

I decided after I was asked to try to start a Single’s Group here in my community. To be honest, I have no interest in any kind of relationship. I am doing so, to help Widows and Widowers, but, I am not qualified as a grief counselor, so I had to expand it to all singles. So I did, and will see how it goes. I know at 68 going on 69, no woman wants an old man like me, and I never was a handsome person lol. Hopefully, it will help the ladies and gents here.

The other thing that has my interest, is Veterans and what we need. Many towns have places for Veterans to go and be with others and to entertain them, as well as to provide for their care. So, I was told there was a position open on The Veteran’s Board for the town, so I thought it over. I applied in the hope I may be of assistance to the town and the Veterans. I hope in my own way I can, but time shall tell.

In January, I turn 69 years old, and I have now outlived my father, mother and step-father as well as my mother. All died between 55 and 60 years old. I have one brother is older by a few years I never see, a sister I see now and then and a younger brother who I never see also. One of the five of us died at 30 years old many years ago now. My grandfathers died in their early 70’s, one at 72 and the other at 74, as far as I know. So how long I have left is a question for me, considering I have PTSD, 6 herniated discs in my spine, and more aliments. Pain is like a second constant for me, and I survive. I had Attention Deficit Disorder and Hyper-Activity as a child. I still overcame. I am the only one in my family with a college degree I believe, so I did ok. I write a lot or poetry, short stories and this blog. I do have short stories online and poems. Life hasn’t always been a bowl of jello for me, yet I never surrender or give up. As my life goes forward, I just hope, I can live it out in peace and some happiness.

Embracing Change: Insights for Seniors in the New Year


Hello all, it’s Saturday December 14th , 2024 already! The year has flown by for me and I believe for many others also. An old song said it best, Time, Time, Time, it’s telling me a story. Time does march on no matter what as we all know, and in less than two weeks we hit Christmas again and then the New Year of 2025 will be next. My hope is for a peaceful time for all, but, I know that may not be, due to changes in government, politics and attitudes. yet, asa Senior Citizen I am doing what many before me and with me will be doing, keeping my head low, saving my money and surviving, the best I can. It is a basic approach for sure, but a necessary one in today’s American world.

I set for myself some objectives for 2025 and I hope to full fill them the best I can. Every year people world wide make resolutions for themselves and try to stick to them, well I am no different. With one exception, I try to make any resolutions I make, realistic and attainable. Making resolutions that are unrealistic, just dampens down the hope one has, so make them realistic and honest and you may attain them.

I have resolved to try to get out more and be more friendly and open to others. I have resolved also, to avoid negative people with bad attitudes. Look, I am honest about this, I can not take angry, mad people, who believe no matter what, they are right, and everyone else is wrong. I can’t stand people with a stick up their ass, because they believe they are better than all of us. I will avoid them from now on. I do not like people who have what I call double standards. It’s ok for them to do something, but not for you or I right! Bull shit!

I have resolved to avoid people who can turn nasty in a heartbeat, for stupid minor reasons also. It all seems so childish and immature to me. Now I have been convinced in the past by friends, to return to the fray so to say and hold the course and give others a second chance, that’s fine. But, as the old saying goes, fool me once shame on me, fool me twice forget me. I shall just do what is right for me and avoid trouble when I see it, from now on. I am I guess set in my ways at my age, and yes I can be sometimes a pain in the ass, or accidently upset someone, but never intentionally like others I have seen. No one is perfect and I am far from that, but I am not ignorant, nasty, impolite to people on purpose like some I see.

That said, I wanted to open up the possibilities I had coming in the new year and try to help others and myself. So volunteered to open a new Club where i live and give it a try, if it doesn’t work, like some have told me, well, it’s no hair off my ass, at least I gave it a shot. I also wanted to try to join in more events and clubs where I live and talk to more people in general. Since my wife passed in 2021 and I moved here to Chauncy Lake in Westborough, Ma. I have kept to myself for the most part. I think even if I get involve din more clubs here and volunteer for service elsewhere in town, I must guard against cruel, uncaring people, with nasty attitudes. I learned growing up there are two types of people in the world, one is the competitive ones who must win at everything they do, and the second is like me, non-completive, and able to accept when we lose with a smile. Winning at silly game is not important to me, never was, it not whether you win or lose it how much fun you have playing it. For the competitive person you tell them that, and they will argue with you over it, and tell you what’s the sense if you don’t win? Simple folks, just trying to fit in and be social and acceptable counts.

As time rolls on now, and 2024 comes to it’s end and 2025 begins to come in focus and to begin, we must remember first and foremost all are human. We have flaws, we have faults, we are not perfect and we must all learn to accept the same in one another. Secondly, we must all come to realize we can not get along with everyone we meet, so we learn to adapt and choose and avoid the ones we don’t. I have learned in many ways since living in a 55 plus community, life is not a bowl of cherries so to say. You won’t love all your neighbors, you can’t be friends with all, but you can be kind, generous and you can avoid those who don’t accept you for who you are. It is what I must do, in my own life. You want to know the people to avoid, angry people, nasty people, impolite or insulting people, bossy people, and in the end, people who are two faced, liars, and just down right rude. Thats the list I avoid and will going into 2025.

For 2025, I want to smile more, I want laugh more, I want to write more, I want to live like I was dying. Try to go places and see things i have never seen, enjoy the company of people I have never met, learn from those around me. But, I also want to be able to accept the difference and move forward, and keep a good nature to me. I have never been discriminating against anyone, nor am I predijuced against anyone. I don’t usually hold hate in, and I don’t hate for no reason. So to those who do, do me a favor, look in the mirror first, for if you hate so much, you must also hate yourself. Just my belief.

As 2025 comes into focus, America faces changes, it faces things it never thought it would. As Americans we must fight against, being drawn into wars, for we have enough of our own problems here at home. Immigration and the border isone thing to fight, but it must be fought with common sense, and compassion. We can’t lock up women and children, or toss them in a haphazard manner with out caring. We shouldn’t allow the Department of Education to be shut down either. Nor should we allow, vaccines that saved billions of Americans and others in the world to be banned. This will only bring back illness and death to the world and America. So many things are being planned by Trump and his new Administration that are not logical in any way. For instance, What is Elon Musk doing, being given the control of the American budget for? I remind all Elon Musk is a South African, who immigrated here, and now he is going to be leading DOGE! What is that shit? He is going to decide for America, how many employees our government is going to have? Nice, that means an increase in the unemployment ranks for sure, and more damage to our economy. You can’ just cut jobs and benefits to working people and think we will be ok folks, it doesn’t work that way.

As 2025 comes into focus in my mind, I am glad in many ways I am over 68, retired and on my own. But, us seniors and veterans, disable or not, depend on our social security checks and disability checks to survive. We earned them, and it would be nasty to cut us. As to Social Security, future generations not grandfathered in or currently collecting, they want to strip you of this. Will Americans be foolish enough to allow it? It’s you future, and I expect you may wake up when you find out they are trying to, and all the work and payments in you made will not be there for you when you can’t work anymore. But, who am I right, I am an average American guy is all, but logic tells me this direction is not good for future generations, my kids, my grandchildren and more. It’s a sad state of affairs if it happens.

Women in the military serve daily and have now for many decades. They provide and serve strongly in many positions of importance. From Nursing to engineering, to leadership and more. Now they want to say women can not go into battle zones. Let me say this, it didn’t stop women from doing so, during the American Revolution, or during the Civil War, or any of the World Wars, or wars since. They knew their purpose, they volunteered and died in service too. They know the risk like all men do. Stop trying to take away their rights. Stop trying to tell them what to do with their bodies too. Let them have abortions, if it was you daughter who was raped, you would want her safe. Incest happens, no female should be forced to carry a pregnancy full term and give birth to a baby she didn’t want in the first place. It’s sad world, what’s next you going to repeal the right to vote for women?

2025, marks my 69th year alive, I was born in 1956. I was raised in the 1960’s and 70’s. Life was different then. We got disciplined and corrected regularly. Our parents worked hard, came home raised us even if both of them worked. We never were hungry, we never were naked, we never were cold, and we went to school, when we were supposed to. We didn’t have computers, and video games and consoles, or big screen tvs. No, we went outside and played. We played with other children, we played sports, ran the woods and laughed and cried. Mom would say, be home by dark or by supper and we did it. We survived. Look privilege is one thing, money doesn’t buy common sense though does it, it doesn’t buy social skills or logic either. You learn it as you grow up because your parents teach it to you. They should anyway and they should have taught you manners too. If they didn’t they failed you in many ways. Today, too many parents leave their children to video game consoles to be babysat. Mine never did. They taught us to clean and cook too, to dress ourselves and the normal habits you should have of being clean and neat in appearance. What happened to that America folks? What happened to teaching morals and ethics to your children? Where did that world go, America?

Let me close this way today, 2025 will be a large change for all Americans as a society. I have a prediction for America for the future. I see it as a falling Empire, like the Aztecs, The Incas, the Romans, and even the Germans. we are failing because we do not adhere to what works, we change too many things. Ever stop to remember the old saying folks; Leave things alone if they work, don’t mess with it? Well America has messed with too many of it’s core values, and it will pay a price like all the empires and societies before us. As, Ben Franklin said after the Constitution was Signed, We shall have a republic as long as we keep it! When we start to deviate too far, we shall lose it and fall from grace, and lose our democracy and republic and our rights without realizing we are. I hope it doesn’t happen, at least in my remaining lifetime, but when it does, the the last great Empire and nation on the planet shall disappear!.

That my friends is life in a cup or tea.


I woke this AM at 5:30, and of course I stubled out of bed, like many of others, thankful at 68 years old, my eyes still open and my body still works. Like many before me, I have my bodily aches and pains and even mental angishes too. I have phyical aliments that would stop most I think, six herniated discs in my spine is a killer. Then, I add in what I grew up with, and I have adjusted to and no one sees, PTSD, Attention Deficiet Disorder, Hyper-Activity and Depression. from loes of people of I loved. IT’s been a roller coaster over the last 3 years and some months, since my wife passed, from cancer and I survived lung cancer also.

Yet, here I am at 68, when I thought I would have been dead and gone by now. Never figured on living past 40 years old due to all of it above, but here I am. Life changes over the periods of time we are alive folks. As little kids we are raised and taught what to do and not to do. Then we reach an age where we want to do what all the adults do, but can’t, we be too young right? Then we reach the age suddenly where puberty comes into affect and we notice the opposite gender and the race for, the settling down period begins. And we date, and at some point if we are lucky, we find a partner and create a relationship. We all wish for families of our own then, as we march down the wedding aisle and get married and have kids of our own.

Then, for some of us, we make it till our kids are grown and on their own. For others we end up divorced or never married. And suddenly after some years, we once again find ourselves alone due to the death or passing os the one we love. So we flounderm we run some of us, others of us handle it differently, and we isolate ourselves. In the end we come to realize, 1) We are still here, yet alone. 2) Life doesn’t stop because our partners died, it is still chugging along for us at a slower and more lonely pace, but it is. We grow tired of the loneliness, we end up watching others laugh and others enjoying life and we go why can’t I. Finally after, realizing, all of this, we go I need to live, like mankind is supposed to do. I can still have fun if I try, I can still interact with others if I wish and even if I can’t find a new partner to replace who I lost, I can still carryon and try. Life is a roller coaster folks, it has it’s ups and downs and spin arounds built into it for each of us. The question is not will it happen this way, only at what stage it will happen in our lives.

I have seen people in my life die at young ages, I have seen some go in many ways. Some drug related, some suicidal, some from cancer and more. We all see it and pray it does not happen to someone we love, but it does, and we pray also it doesn’t hit us, and for some of us it does that too. Who knows for sure what the eternal peace of death brings, no one knows what is on the other side, do we?

I sometimes reflect on my own life and wonder how I got this far. I than think of me wandering through the woods as a little boy exploring nature and more. Then I stop to think of my parents who raised me and all they did to keep me alive. Did I repay them enough for all they did, I think I did. I spent my youth, taking care of my younger siblings, helping dad rebuild a house they bought for cheap. never complained just did. I felt it was my place, to be there for my family. Of course we all grow up and as I did I slowly moved on, and helped friends in life too. When the economy went bad, jobs dried up, I couldn’t jump from job to job anymore, I joined the military. First the US Army, then the Army National Guard and finally the US Navy. That lasted for me for 16 years, but it brought me injuries, and I still carried on. I was married twice, first time 12 years, the second 28 till my wife passed. Two daughters, four grandchildren, two step grandchildren two, yet satisfaction is hard to find. Your children move on and have their own lives, you lose the money and time to see them and life still progresses on.

Then one day after your spouse and lover is gone, you wake up and realize time has moved on. Your alone, staring at the world and going once again, how do I fit in? We can’t change how it happens, we are dealt it you see, it is all fate and destiny. Some make bad decisions, and take their own lives, some do drugs and get involved in vice. In desperation mankind will do anything to try to survive and fit in to a society that can be at times cruel and evil. Most avoid it, but there will always be some who fall into it all and never recover or come out of it. We can’t change people, even if we love them, demons can be hidden inside mankind we can not see.

Now I sit back at 68 and reflect on what I have lived thru, and some would be amazed if they knew. yet, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors, of the human mind. So, I go on, and one each day, dealing with my own inner demons, emotions, feeling and thoughts, like many others around me do too. We just do and makeit work for ourselves and try to be kind to everyone else. It’s called life folks and dealing with it, we do so daily. So, I continue to waddle along, laughing, talking or even singing a song. Not everyone will like you, not everyone will want you around or near, but, you have every right just like them to be here. So we choose, who we talk to, we choose who we like, we make friends with some, and with others we fight. In the end as we go on, we come to realize, we don’t all look like a movie star and thats no surprise. we deal with who we are individually, and we gravitate to where we fit in eventually. That my friends is life in a cup or tea.

Behind The Cover


Behind The Cover

September 24, 2024

William M. McCurrach

We all believe in what we see,

But, are we really seeing the real you or me.

How many are hurt inside,

How many have too much pride,

To show the pain they feel,

How many of us go beyond the surface and tell others how we feel?

Yes we look happy, we smile, we talk, and interact,

We don’t tell all about ourselves,

That is a fact.

Like a book with a fancy cover,

We look so good as our pain and hurts,

Can not be discovered.

Physically we hide the fact we are in braces and pain,

We winch at times when someone misuses our name,

We hide the real things that are wrong,

For we do not want pity,

We want to seem strong.

We stand tall even when our spines do hurt,

We fight back when people, drag our name through the dirt,

We have our pride,

But we hide our pains deep inside.

Do not judge someone by the way they look,

Don’t think because they stand tall, or walk well that they don’t hurt,

For if you do, you misjudge, you see,

It’s like looking at a books cover,

All pretty and nice,

When inside there may be someone hard as ice, or a hot mess,

You will never know, if the surface is how you judge,

So, be careful especially if the book cover,

Wont budge !

You never know, what is behind the cover !

Final Blog, MacAttack56


Ok, my subscription to Word Press.com is coming down to it’s end soon. So I want to say, blogging has been a pleasure for me, and I have covered many subjects over the years I have done so. It has helped me through some sad times, some depressing times, some time of writing of stories and books and poems. Through the times of ups and downs, attempts to recover some things of my past, healing some hurts and pains and even creating others. Blogging to me has been a blessing in many ways and I am happy and proud of what I have said or done with it.

Times are changing and I am getting older now and each day brings me closer to the elderly ages of many in America and the world and makes me think twice about continuing in it. The energy level is not the same for me, since my wife passed in 2021. I miss her and he input as well as her caring and loving feelings, she gave me and her encouragement for it all. The Period from March 2021 to her passing on August 1oth 2021, wa sthe roughest period I have faced in my life and yes I miss her dearly and always will till the day I join her.

Blogging has helped me to find my daughters, to know them some and to feel like I told them the full truth and I hope they understand it now. That said, I still get depressed about all the years I missed of their growing up, and the time I wanted to spend with them and the things and moments I missed with them. I wish I could have spent more time with them both, their spouses and of course, my grandchildren. Yet, I am not rich, nor am I able to overcome the fact to travel the over 500 miles to see all of them when I wish or they wish me to. Life, my friends and family is a journey, through which we must pass alone, and make the best of we can, and I have tried. I have laughed, I have cried, I have been up and been down, I have seen highs and lows of which few have experienced. I have seen the world in my days in the services of America from Connecticut, to New York, to New Mexico, to all over the world with the Navy. I accomplished things I never thought I would, my life was filled with 2 marriages, 2 daughters, numerous homes and more.

I have commented on numerous things, of political nature, of news, of life, love and beliefs I have had. I have commented on friends, events, views of where I lived, and even my wife and her fight with cancer and my own. The hardest part of my life has been the years from 2006 to 2021. I stood by, assisted, helped and took care of my second wife, Melinda for those years in all ways I could. While in the middle 2013, I suffered my own bout of cancer and lost a lobe and a third of my right lung and survived it. And continued on taking care of my Melinda, until her passing in August of 2021.

I thank my sister, who helped me through all of it, for without her I would have been lost and frozen in time God Bless her for being there for me, and supporting me in all the ways she has. There is nothing better in life than, to have a sibling who is close to you all the time. A sister rs a blessing, I hope all, can have in life.

As. this is my final blog, more than likely, because, I basically can’t see how I can stay at it, at 68 years old, I want to say one thing to all who ever read my blogs, Thank You for doing so! We may not have agreed on many subjects or ideas I blogged about, but, I thank all who read them. We may not agree on politics or what we believe about some politicians or laws, or things that happened in the world, but at least, I was able to voice them by blogging so thank you WordPress.com also.

In closing let me say this, it has been an adventure and a honor to be able to blog to the world, and to have a small part of it hear my voice and what I believed in and more. Thank you to ALL !!! I did write many poems, that are out there now in the ether of the internet, on Amazon.com, small stories and books, I never claimed to be a real writer, I did them with encouragement of my now deceased wife, at her asking me to. They will remain out there for who ever reads them or likes them or even those who don’t. I tried only because of my deceased wife wo said, I had stories to tell, and I should tell them.

Be well all, and as time marches on, I hope, you all, stay healthy, happy, get wealthy and live a life you love ! God Bless !

I hope you enjoy it and understand it !


Time as we all know, marches on no matter what we do, as we also know we can not affect Mother Nature either. We can only affect the things near to us and that we have the ability to reach, either in nature or in humananity. The truth is mankind is actually limited in many ways, like mental abilities and physical abilities folks. We can only run so fast, we can only calculate so fast, and we can not change nature or time, but we also understand we are limited in our time on this planet. Where we come from, how we act, all depends on those who raise us and then, they depart from the earth. We learn through watching, attempting, and being. We do not have osmosis, or strange new abilities that others don’t, for if you did, you would be cast out of human societies, because people would fear you.

As we grow up in the world some of us like being alone and only enter society as needed. Otherwise we only do so, because we have no choice. We learn in schools of others from kindergarten to college levels, some of us get degrees and use them and some get them and fail to use them for any purpose. Some are labors, some are educators, some politicians, scientists. computer nerds, programmers and more. Others go into medicine, whether nursing or as doctors. There is a vast range of employments, arts, music come into play also.

A few, become special due to high intellect, or physical abilities and they are lucky, for they out show the rest of us who are ordinary in most ways. Very few, remember all that happens in their lives or all they have met or done. Why, because humanity does not like the painful, depressing or injury periods of our lives when they happen, or we have to deal with loses we have experienced in our lives, like when parents die, spouses, die or siblings. These become major changes in how we feel, act and react to others around us and any situation we may find ourselves in. We adapt to it slowly and it takes time to do so, there are many stages when one is recovering from loses, and we all know them I believe, denial, then acceptance, then,depression, then a slow recovery where we realize we can’t change what has happened or bring that loved one back, but we are still here and must carry on. Some when they lose someone special in their lives find a way to just move forward and never look back, but, in my experience and from what I have seen, if someone does not grieve long enough and get through it, they never are the same, nor do they recover, well enough to get involved in others lives, or have anyone in their own.

How we recover and carry on and why is the question here isn’t it? We all need some companionship or friendships in our lives, few are true loners. The Loners as I call them, love to hide from public events, they avoid large crowds, they have lower opinions of themselves, low esteem, and shy from people. Loners like myself, may attend an event, a social function now and then, just to be seen, or to feel like we belong, but then, we know we don’t really, do we? We make weak attempts to fit in, and get along with all around us, because we know we have to to survive. We all have our own personality faults, we all have our own emotional difficulties and we all have feelings we hide, from others. Some of us do so greater than others, and know better then to reveal the truth, of ourselves.

I know, many who are extroverts, who get along with all and will say or do anything I fit in. I also know introverts, they shy from all, but, still when approached, get along with most. So what’s the real difference here, an extrovert has lil fear, can talk to anyone and control their emotions and what they say or do, all the time, except when excited beyond control. A introvert, will not act out, has some difficulty with fitting in, feels awkward and out of place, and unwanted. Introverts have low esteem, and feel themselves below others in many ways. While a extrovert has great pride and burst forth because of their high esteem, an introvert is the complete opposite and hides. Otherwise both have different ways of handling societial norms on a daily basis, so to say. At 68, years old I have witnessed much of what I am speaking, I have lived it and experienced it, and acknowledged it, and accepted it. And if you as an individual stop and examine yourself you will find, you are either one or the other yourself.

What causes us to be either depends on how we were raised, by whom we were raised, what, they have taught us, how they have treated us as we grow up. The importance of parents in this world is vital, for anyone and everyone. Yet, there must be a balance in how we raise our children. We can’t give them everything they want, that’s just spoiling them, we can’t deny all they want either. We can’t not discipline our children and teach them right from wrong, for without discipline we have chaos, and our children end up in prisons as adults. There is a delicate balance to raising a child, that one must keep a close eye on at all times. It’s the job of a parent to make sure their child is safe, cared for and taught correctly, which means you need to teach them manners, respect, how to be honest and caring. Other wise they shall be cast out of society or end up on the lowest tier of said society as we know it. Do, all of us get this delicate balance from our parents as we grow up, no, if we did society would be a perfect thing and it is not. Human Kind is not perfect, society is not perfect nothing is, is it? So, as we raise our children in the world today, we must not only teach them well, discipline them well, and educate them well, we must also make sure we teach them how to care for themselves and the ones they love also. Yes, it’s a complicated scheme to do, and no it is not easy, yet, it can be done.

Stop putting your children down, stopped hitting them or screaming at them. For it is the abuse you put up on them, that makes them not fit in. They rebel, they fight back, they strike out at humanity, if you raise them wrong, for they lack the attention they need growing up, from their parents. If given that attention when they need it, they can overcome anything, positive reinforcement works, teaching works, emotional support works, being there watching them, guiding them, works folks. And let me say this to all, it matters not what color your skin, what background you come from, what nationality, we all want the same things in life, to be loved, to be respected to be heard, and to live in peace, among humanity. So, do yourself a favor, I don’t care what your color, race, or nationality may be, what country you live in, remember, your children are the future for mankind on this planet we call earth, take the time to raise them right, take the time to listen to them, communicate with them, help them emotionally and physically if needed. For you are making mankind better if you do !

You may not agree with all I have said here, but, my opinion is just that my opinion. And in the world today, and especially here in America, we all still have a right to our opinions and to voice them as necessary, as long as we do not harm anyone else. So, this is my opinion and thought for today, made into a blog post !. I hope you enjoy it and understand it !

I hope so, wish me luck!


As we get older, we also, tend to get smarter about life and avoid the mistakes of our own past. We tend to stop before we leap and think first and go wait a second, been here, done this before an dnot doing it again. It happens in daily things we do, it happens in jobs we take on and relationships we have and so much more. The fact is, we all use our past experiences in life to make present day and ongoing decisions every moment we are awake. Just stop and think about it fora few moments and you shall know, what I am talking about.

We all of us can’t all be Einstiens, nor can we all be dumb, we all tend to be in the middle, some of us are polite, some of us are rude too. Some are kind, some are cruel and this is not sexist in anyway, it is just human. Humanity is not perfect in anyway, from looks to habits, to likes and dislikes, we all tend to adjust to what we like or don’t like. Some of us are stubborn and hard headed, some of us are kind and gulliable, some us laugh easy and some of us cry easy. Why we do so is based on what we have experienced and lived through in our own lives so to say. Some have had the easy life, things handed to us on a platter so to say, and other shave had to struggle through in all we do. We don’t have full control over life, it sometimes controls us. Fates, destinies, at times can not be changed and at othe rtimes we tend to realize something that touches us personally, or is unigue to us alone, and it changes how we react and what we do next. Thats the fascination of life, it’s unpredicability daily. Life is indeed a mystery to even me, and I be 68 years old now.

I have learned lately though that you can’t force anything, you can’t search too hard, and make things happen, and that you must take it as it comes to you. I tried hard many times to force things and be something I am not, and in the end learned, people see through anything that is phoney or acting. I also learned it doesn’t matter if you dress uppretty, or dye your hair, or try to fit in by beingl like all the rest, it only makes you look and feel like you don’t fit in. Just be you, and i guess that will always be what works best.

I have friends from my younger days I have known now for over 50 years. One female and one male, and each seem to have advise for me in my current situation and age and I have given each of them advise in our younger days. I recently thought outloud on a blog and Facebook post, how I thought I had grown old and wa slike one of the Old Men in that old Movie Grumpy Old Men. Well, my female friend from all those years ago told me I amnot that way, she knows it, and that I am not too old and done in life, and more than she is and she is my age too. So, that makes one think.

Male friend, wa sthe best man at my second marriage and I have known him since i was 14. We ran the streets of our old home rown together, we fished and camped and hiked together. I knew his wife and his children in his first marriage. So he knows me well as I know him. One day, many years ago I walked into his apartment to find him surrounded by letters hew as writing to numerous women, from a magazine. He wanted a date and to meet a new woman in his life after his divorce. I was going through similar circumstances at the time. I told him to stop writing letters, he was wasting money and time. He looked at me and asked what I meant. I said look, the only way your going to get anywhere in life is to be yourself, do the job you have, do what you love to do, and they will find you. Women want men who are happy, content and who do their own things. Well, he said ok, and then I took him to singles dances and showed him. We walked into one and I just did my thing, ignoring all the ladies and being myself and he followed. Within 10 minutes two women walked upto us and started talking to us and neither of us had said a word. All I did was carry myself with pride and decently and smile. It wasn’t the look, it was the attitude and the confidence I explained to him later. Now, I met my second wife at those dances, and it went 28 years for us, untill she passed from cancer. For him the dances didn’t work, but the advise did when I tiold him to be himself and they will find him, he and his wife have now been married for 30 years now. All he did was go to work and be himself, thats all he had to do really.

Au Naturale, does not mean naked folks alone, it means authenicate, real, being you ! Don’t ever try to be something you are not, don’t try to act like all the rest, it is being comfortable with who you are and accepting yourself first, thats make sit easy for someone else to accept you. I have given up trying to hunt and peck through Dating sites, and web sites now and I have given up looking forfemale companionship, because I learned I can’t keep crying ove rit, nor can I force it, I just have to be me and enjoy life, even as a single man again anda widower. I can’t replace the one I lost and I shouldn’t compare anyone to her, just be me and accept others fro who they are too. It isa two way street, but, forcing anything doesn’t work.

So, I walk, I go out and eat on my own, I may stop in a bar or tavern, and do a movie alone. Doesn’t matter anymore what I do, I may fish, or bowl or play pool, I may just go for a ride. But, I am no longer gonna be playing the searching games, the hoping game, the wishing game of looking. It doesn’t work, the more your push or search or try the less you find it seems to me. So, I shall do what I advised my friend many years ago to do, do me, have fun and just carry on and let nature take it’s course. Thats what life is all about, I believe, and just use my own experiences and feelings and thoughts to make my own decisions as I go along in life. Pretty simple right, I hope so, wish me luck!