Tag: love

Navigating Dating as a Senior: A Widower’s Perspective


Ok, Whats new is alwaysa question for me. Since I am a widower and single and 69, I try to find different things to do. Walking is always big for me, as is bowling at least twicea week when I can. I lik eplaying billards once a week where I live. Other than that I am usually hunting an dlooking for things to do.

Some say go to the Senior Center and hang out and you will meet people, thats true. And I don’t knock the Senior Center at all, but, I do feel like I don’t really belong when there. Maybe I am just not there yet, so I feel out of place. Nothing against the Center itself believe me.

I do like to bowl which keeps me active at least. I do read some and try to stay up to date on the news too and tv. I like movies but haven’t been to one in ages, cause it is not fun alone.

Drinking and Clubs and Taverns, are not my thing really. I will go to one, once in a while here in Westborough, just to get out, havea meal and a drink and to look around. Usuaually, most in the Bars, Tavern around wetsborough are people in their 30’s to 50’s who are dating or already have a partner they are dating. So fora single widower my age of 69, it gets to feel like I am a fifth wheel so to say.

As to the dating scene as I see it today here in Westborough, I know many have fears, especially the ladies. I respect their fears and I am never aggressive nor do I chase them. I don’t need a place tos tay, I own, I don’t need someone’s money ladies, I am fine on my own. I do not abuse women either never have and never will wasn’t raised that wya and I do not have a agressive or anger problem. I do tend to stay away from trouble and I do get the fact that not everyone is your cup of tea or mine so to speak. I try to be honest, I try to be fair, and I always try to be respectful and kind. It’s just my nature I think.

So when I do go Bowling, or to a mall or something, even a tavern or bar, I am me. I don’t like talking politics in public it causes wars and fights these days.Sports I love and it’s NFL time once more, with The NBA is coming back soon enough. I am a Celtics fan and hope their rebuild wil be great an dthey have a great season. some ask me about MLB, while I am a Red sox fan, I can’t sit through a game on tv, it puts me to sleep too long. Football I watch, Basketball I watch. But hey, I like sports.

So Anyway life goes on. As a single widower, I find it slow and hard to find someone to match with or date. Age does play a factor for sure, as well as what to do each day when retired. So, I go day to day, and hope, is all. The hardest part of being a widower my age of 69, is the fact of being alone. I have to say I had a total of 40 years of marriage in my life of 69 years. One was 12 years, the second 28 years. So I think I did fine, and I was very lucky. When I look around and see the single , divorced or widowed women, I also see fears and anger in many. Some believe a man wants them just for one thing or another. Let me say this, I don’t wnat someone’s home, or money, or just for their body. I do like companionship, I do love women for their sense of humor, intelligence and to be with. But, dating at 69, is like being interviewed for a job, or something. A million questions, a million different views, and then even if you get through them, you still have to find attraction and chemistry. It’s liek having a job just to get a date, the search, the asking, the dating, the interview and the response can be fun, and rejection can be big. so, what does one do, well, I know what I do, I just go day to day, and hope is all. being positive helps, folks.

Dating for us Seniors is like a trek down a mystery highway, for you know not what the next corner or turn will be. So, one day at a time is all one can do. I will say this, I never dod learn to flirt properly, some are good at it, me I am clumsy and don’t get it. But, I must of done something right, for two marriages totaled 40 years for me. LOL

Be Well, My Blog for today!


Good Morning September 21st, 2025, for me the day began at 5 am. It seems since my wife passed in August of 2021, I don’t sleep as much as I used to. But, I am sure I am not the only person who is a widower or widow who has this problem. we all get used to our better half being there to comfort or cuddle or just as a presense we enjoy so much we relax best around them. It’s a natural occurrance for a married couple or long time couple.

I knew when I married my wife of 28 years, one of us would go first and since she was indeed 16 years my senior, I also knew it would be her, most likely. She knew it too, and accepted it. she also told me, I would be fine once she passed, she told me I am a realist, I realize what must be done to survive and adjust. Of course she was right, she usually always was, she had more experience period.

I have learned more though since she has passed. Dating apps don’t work folks, they suck up your money and no matter what you do or say, you don’t get far in meeting anyone. You can write great profiles, you can be polite, you can be nasty, you can say almost anything to get a date, and it doesn’t work much at all. It isn’t the app itself that kills the possibilities, it’s the people who use them. I say this because I have found certain things people do. 1) They lie in their profiles, 2) They do not use their latest pictures, they use old ones to hide aging, and other problems. 3) I find many are not there just to make friends or find a partner, many want money from you, or to get into your life financially, because they want it. 4) Then, there are those who, want you to take care of them, because they are ill or injuried and need an assistant to help them through life now. All of the above is true on most dating apps these days. The fears and apprehensions that come out are crazy. Too many worries in using dating apps, they do just eat your money and they auto-renew on you, if your not careful.

If you have a bowling alley near by use it. If you have a place to dance use it, A Group to hike or walk do it. If you, can even just play a game for fun, just do it. As long as you participate and meet new people in your age bracket do it. Even if it is a book club or writting club, do it, it gets you out there among others, and we are all human and need some himan interaction in our lives, or we go stir crazy or get depressed. And believe you, me, depression is not good, and stir crazy can get ya into trouble. Some like bars or taverns, they like to drink and eat. Some don’t. Personally while I like open enviroments, and less people, in my opinion, others like large crowds. It is indeed a personal choice for us all is it not? I think it is, just like, we pick and choose our lovers and partners, we pick and choose our friends. Some you get on with easily, others you don’t get along with at all, so you avoid one another and carry-on. I was never one to force myself on anyone, in anyway. So I avoid being a bother to anyone or a burden, and I do my own thing. I write, I watch tv and movies, I read alot, I walk alot. I like to cook now and then, for fun is all. I play billards once a week and bowl when I can if healthy. It gets me out of my home, into the world and among some people. It is called seeking contact, without being too serious, lol, at least in my book. But, that is life is it not folks?

People tell me to go to the Senior Center, get involved there they say. Well, I am 69 but I feel out of place in a Senior Center still. So I try to not go, unless there is a purpose I am interested in. I guess everyone feels different about that, but, thats my feelings on it all.

Am I happy, where I live and how I live? I am happy with how I live, and do the best I can. I try to stay healthy, clean my place and keep my mind busy. I like puzzles to build when I am in that mood, I have played video games also. But, writting poetry, stories and blogs, is my thing these days. Opinions are good to have if you don’t force anything on anyone, you can voice them. Some just putter along, I walk alone when I feel the need, a little walking stretches the legs and keeps me flexiable. But as to where I live, well that my friends is a different story so to say. I think, when we reach a certain age and status in life, we tend to look for more age definded, places to live. Thus a 55 plus community, became the choice for me. I thought, it would be among those my age and easier to get along in. While the community in general is a good idea for downsizing from a large home you can’t take care of anymore, it is not necessarily the way to go. One thing about these 55 plus community is people tend to get into each others business. They talk, and it becomes much like the old TV Show Peyton Place from many years ago, I don’t go there, and it is not my thing to do so. so, I live by a Theory these days, that is out in a book called the Let Them Theory. I let them think what they want, say what they want and do what they want, as long as it doesn’t physically or socially affect me. Then I go by the other end of said Theory too, Let Me Be me. I worry less what others do or say, and more of making myself happier this way. It is something I would reccomend others should do too. Momma always told me as a child, mind your own, and take care of your own and you will be fine. It’s when you over reach or put yourself too far out there, you get in trouble. It’s true, Momma knew!

Each year, I love to watch the NFL Games and NBA games too. while I follow MLB too, I don’t watch it on tv. A Baseball game would put me to sleep, it moves too slow. Hockey no thank you I say. Olympics I love to watch when they come around. In the meantime I watch tv shows that are mysteries, crime dramas mostly. I even like just putting Utube on for music and letting it play. Yet, life moves at it’s own pace and yes I am getting older. I don’t go drinking to drink, not a party animal of any kind. I may have a beer on a social occasion to fit in only. Alcohol is not me, I dislike it, I have seen too many people get addicted to it and ruin theirs and others lives and hurt people both physically and emotionally. No thank you. I don’t do drugs either, medications are bad enough when needed. lol. so, thats me, in a nutshell so to say, I am not anything other than a normal man, who takes life one day at a time, each encounter or person one at a time too. But, thats me, not all do that, some have a set purpose or way of doing things, I believe in some flexiabily in life.

Time has shown me don’t get too involved in Politics either. It is today’s atmosphere in politics I can’t take. I am not a MAGA supporter, and I don’t like the way, our President is doing business. I won’t publically fight over it, I avoid it, too much violence and anger exists over it all. I do realize, while we must all save our money and go day by day, arguing with people you can’t sway is not the way. So, i adapt to what is there and do the best I can to survive, don’t we all?

One thing I will do, if I see someone down, or hurt or needing help, and I can help them, I will. Helping is one thing, getting too involved is another thing lol. So I try to be careful in this area too, for some take helping as an insult to them, and get made. I learned ask first before you help, don’t rush in. when you do, people tend to look at you like an invading party in war time, lol. But, life is all about being careful and not over extending yourself, so we all survive well. Thats my blog for today folks. Be Well!

Navigating Dating as a Senior: Personal Insights


I went on Silver Singles an djoined ot try to find a lady in her mid-sixties to date and get to know. While I understand it is not easy to do in today’s America I figured I would give it a try. I did meet one lady, who is a very nice person, but, there was no chemistry or attraction for me on my part toward her. So I have to politely, let her down and say goodbye the best way I could, without hurting her.

Now I am not, Mr. Handsome, or Don Juan or anything of that sort. I am an average guy in my mind, who is a bit of an introvert, and not one who flirts. I also have not been in the dating scene in many years, except for a few dips in over the last three years. When I do try, I am amazed at how hard it is to find someone and get to know them. I am honest and if I do not like the lady I am with, I will tell them up front. If after a few dates or times together I do not feel an attraction or a romantic inclination toward the lady, I will l tell her either in person or through a text. I honestly am not saying the personality was wrong, for it wasn’t, there just was no physical attraction of any nature and no romantic inclinations on my part. So, I just basically, said good-bye as, nice as I could.

I am not a big bar or tavern person either, so meeting women in them is not my thing. While I enjoy social outtings, I can not handle large crowds well. So I have a two folded problem in meeting anyone that has become now, 3 folded in a way. 1) I am a bit of an introvert when it comes to women I do not know. 2) Flirting is an art I do not know how to do properly. 3) My age being 69, puts me at a distinct disadvantage, because finding single senior women is not easy for me.

Anyway, life goes on and I will keep trying, but, is there a way to get there in Westborough, Ma.? I tried going to Taverns and bars in town, and when I do, they are loaded with people, and I get nervous and can’t handle the crowds so I leave. I usually try to sit at the bar and have a sandwhich and a drink at least, unless it is full and crowded, then I do not stay.

But, I have learned now to live alone again, and take care of myself. While I would like a female friend to hang with, laugh with and as a companion and friend and maybe a lover, I do not want to have anyone take advantage of me, or try to take what is mine. I think that is pretty clear, right?

Would I date someone who lives in my condo complex? Well, originally when I moved here, I said no. But, over time i have thought about it more than once. I think if a woman wanted to date me here, or I wanted to ask one, it would have to be done, with the idea that what happens between two people stays between the two involved. Even if it ended in a breakup that went sour it is no ones business except those involved, in my opinion. I hope that makes sense, for in my book that is being mature about it all.

Anyway, just a few thoughts on what I am thinking about in my search for someone to date. I don’t care what others think about what I do, No matter what you do, people talk, some wil say bad things, some good, and you can’t change that fact. So, Let Them is What I say. Can’t control it, so why worry about it. I can only control my own actions and what I say and do period, so Let me, be clear, I will do as I please to make myself happy, if I can. I hope that makes sense, lol.

3 Poems, from me to all! September 14th, 2025


Heaven Someday

William M. McCurrach

September 13, 2025

Life goes on day, by day,

We live it all,

Is what I say!

As we age we come to realize,

There are less, and less things,

That come as a surprise!

The years fly by,

There are laughs and tears,

The surprise is the passing of the years!

How fast they fly by,

The things we haven’t done,

Without knowing why?

As my life runs down,

There are fewer people around,

The deafening roar of silence,

Engulfs me once more.

I have my memories of fun times,

I have my memories of loves,

Yet, I hope, and pray,

There is a place in heaven for me someday.

Up above!

Don’t Lose your Mind!

September 11th, 2025

William M. McCurrach

In a world of anger,

A world of doubt,

Some of need to step back,

Take our time, and figure it out!

Too much violence,

Too much fear,

Too much pain,

For all of us,

To bear!

We feel the pain,

We feel the loses,

We wonder at the politicans,

Their plans,

and The Bosses.

But, we know the world will go on,

But at no time,

Will we surrender,

For we know, we must go on!

The World will change, and we can help it,

If we just wake up,

Pay attention,

And Stop the bullshit!

We can disagree if we wish,

We can argue if we wish.

We can discuss all of it.

But in the end the violence,

Is not the Answer to it!

It only excubates it you see,

Makes it worse for you and for me!

Lets tone it down,

Let be mature and logical,

Lets be repectful and kind,

Otherwise, we all will lose our mind!

Starting Anew

September 10,2025

William M. McCurrach

The magic of the days I knew in my past,

Come back to me sometimes in a flash.

I see the warm summer nights, the fall days of color,

The cold days of snuggling and cuddling,

Holding one another.

The days in the parks, playing simple games,

Where we would scream and laugh,

And call each other’s names.

The simple things we did to find someone,

Seems those simple days,

Have come and gone.

Or the nights in my teens, when I would dream,

Of someone who I held in my heart,

But didn’t tell.

Because I felt we would not work out,

Or we would part, not well.

The look across a crowded room.

when your eyes met mine,

and the feelings did bloom.

Ah those days when I said lets dance,

Yes I asked and took that chance,

Little did I know it would lead,

To A long Time romance for you and me.

Is it possible to do twice in one lifetime,

It’s a question that lingers,

In My Mind.

Is it possible today in a world so angry and mad,

To find a simple lover or lover,

That will make me happy not sad?

Someone who can laugh at themself,

Someone who likes people and everyone else,

Someone who is looking like I am,

For that one connection, between a woman and man.

I wonder in today’s world,

For I am older now and I am not a boy and you are not a girl.

We have lived our lives, and been either divorced or a widower once, or twice.

The hardest part of growing old,

Is finding the energy and guts to be bold,

The boldness needed to make an approach,

Without, anyone being your coach.

I miss having a companion you see,

For she used to complete me.

If I was indecisive, she would push,

If i was too bold,

She would pull me back.

So many things she did, I doubt,

I can ever get back.

But one thing I can say,

The memories remain,

They stay in ones mind, and heart,

All the same.

We may not be able to find the same once again,

But we can start anew,

And we all deserve to do it, too!

Simple Survey of Massachuetts Women


Lets do a survey, of Massachuetts women who are over 60, single, divorced or Widowed I will ask some questions, I do not want your phone number or email or even your name, just simple answers if you can provide them, ladies.

First question,

  1. As a single women in today’s world, what is the first thing that draws you to a man?
  2. While all men will admit, we love a women’s curves and her pretty face, we know, that is not all women want us to notice, so what is most important to you? A) Your intelligence, B) To Be Respected, C) To Be cared for, D) To be listened to?
  3. What makes for a lasting relationship for you?
  4. Why in Massachuetts, a place where all women are well educated, and smart and make their own money, is it so hard for a man to get a date with you women?
  5. Do fears of being abused, used or taken for money come into play and if so, how?
  6. What age differences matter to you as a women, what range say like 10 years or less or can it be more?
  7. As a woman in your 60’s or up, are you seeking companionship, friendship, a relationship or what?
  8. What makes you listen to and be attracted to a man? A) His looks B) His Physical Form C) His intelligence, D) His sense of humor E) His ability to participate in events and such ? f) His Pick-up lines?
  9. In Massachuetts, where do senior women over 60 go and what are they looking to do?
  10. Last but not least, I notice Massachuetts women will look, smile, but never approach a man, in anyway, why is that?

Now I ask these questions for my own personal knowledge and to try to get some insights to the women of Massachuetts. As a Single widower age 69, living alone, I have to wonder all all of these points. So any help ladies would be nice.

If you wish to answer some of these questions or all for me; please feel free to reply in confidence and without any names, numbers or email addresses, to bmccurrach20@gmail.com. Thank You for reading this, if you did and taking the time, if you answer, ahead of time.

Best Dating Apps for Seniors: A Guide for Men Over 70


Ok, I am going to ask, the women of the world,What Dating App is the best for us men who are 70 and up?

I have heard Match/com/ I have heard Zoosk/OurTime/Silver Singles and more. It is confusing for me, because i am a widower at 69, and haven’t been in the dating scene really since 1993. Back then, I went to Single’s Dances and it worked for me. But, as we all know, today, Single’s Dances don’t exist for people my age.

I am not a real drinker or bar or tavern person, although I may stop in once in a while ata atavern for a sandwhich I like and maybe a beer or soda. Just to get out some

I like Bowling and do so once a week in a Senior League at my area’s bowling alley. I like movies, I like reading and walking. I like playing Billards/pool also.

I read alot on and off as I go along, current;y I am reading The Let Them Theory, while is does repeat itself somewhat, the theory itself is an interesting thing, I never considered before. I have learn it doe shelp to just say Let Them, as you go along. And decide to just do what you can or will to help yourself instead of getting involved.

So my question is simple. I don’t wnat a young woman, I don’t want a hustler to take me, or use me for money. And I am sure many women feel the same about us men. So that isa two sided problem in life. What I am wondering is whats the best way to go for me. Maybe I shouldn’t ask, but, I wa staught asa child, have a question, there is no dumb ones, just ask the right people or person for the answers. So, I think the best place to ask for information on dating and meeting women my age, is the women my age. I hope i am right, but time shall tell, right?

Dating is like riding a bike I am told, once you do it, it should be easy. It isn’t really, why, it involves flirting and asking somepone out. If you are like me, and have been out of the dating scene sinc ethe 1990s, well, as you can tell the world has changed and so have people in general and what they expect and are looking for. It is all a mystery to me, all because I dedicated myself to one woan for all the years i did, till she passed from Breast Cancer in 2021.

Not trying to complain or bitch or moan here, not trying to impose or be a burden or an asshole here either. Just looking for the best apps and way to go, I am tired of just being alone these days.

Figured hey, I havea blog site, andI can write and ask and see if anyone will answer me, in a correct manner and not sarcastically or mean. If people get nasty, I can always delete the replies,and just surrender and give up, also. I don’t like arguing or fighting with anyone, I am a peaceful person. just look at it as a man looking for suggestions on which way to go, at a later stage of life, after many years married. This single stuff is not the same as when I was younger lol.

Starting Over at 69: My Journey Back to Dating


September 9th, 2025 and yes I am back all. My Blog is still alive and well and in my possession once more. It was abit os a struggle with the company to get it back, but, it is worth it if you want it to be a secure one.

That said, away I go once more. Tuesdays are always slow days folks, and at my age of 69, I lose interest in things faster than before lol. I love people and i love women, I admire them from afar of course and have never approached any in many years now, since my wife passed. I grieved her fully now and i believe, I am still here, so at some point I need to find a partner once more.

I have tried different dating sites, and I have taken maybe 3 women to dinner in the four years since I moved here to Westborough, Ma. My reasoning has been ok I will try this, but then, I didn’t really give them a chance. I avoided any physical comtact and did not attempt to even kiss one. I just felt it ws nice talking with them, and they were nice ladies, but, I had to hold back. Like I said at some point, I need to start over, I am not getting any younger lol.

What do I seek I am asked. well i don’t look for a beauty queen, I don’t look for rich, I don’t care. I look for friendly, kind, considerate, intelligent, and with a sense of humor. Someone who likes to laugh some, but can also hold a decent converstaion helps.

I don’t like smokers, sorry ladies, it almost got me years ago, so no thank you. I am not a drinke ror bar or tavern person really, once in a while is all. I like movies, I like walking, I like playing pool, I like helping people. I have fun at bowling and enjoy those who do so with me, in the Senior League I am in. I am not into big crowds, and can’t handle that well, I tend to shut down and disappear really. Yet, I like’ smaller crowds, and will talk to almost anyone.

Politics wise I don’t care either wya, although I do lean democrat. I am a non-Trumper folks and non-maga person. They are destroying our country and our republic and democracy. I can’t and won’t date a MAGA Supporter in anyway.

Ok, now that said, life goes on and we are all struggling to survive in today’s world. Time is short folks, and i believe one should live it dya to the fullest, laugh as much as possible, have fun, and enjoy. Am I wrong, I don’t think so. I like movies, I like plays. I like music of all kinds, from rock, to country and blues, and even classical at times. I read a lot and I am reading The Let Them Theory these days. Mel Robbins stumbled upon a great theory and i can’t say it willwork for everyone out there, but, it helps when you use it in the right situations for your ownself.

Now for the ones who recommended I try dating sites for Seniors my age, I am at this time. I have tried Match.com, Zoosk, and I am currently trying Silver Singles. Now I hate writing profiles of myself, for any purpose folks. So I am not doing good here. But, at least I am trying and will see howit goes. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship folks, between a man and woman, but, there is such a thing as a lasting one, that works if you work at it. Just my thoughts on it all really. So time will tell if I meet someone or not.

As to dating someone in my community where I live here, well I have not done so. Why, because people speak, and even you date someone in your own community and it doesn’t work out, it gets around and itis usually us men who get the blame and bad mouthed. LOL. But, would I date anyonein the community, is there anyone interesting here for me? Of course there are ladies, but if your looking for me to approach you and ask you out, it probally will not happen, because i have no idea, how to anymore. Last time I asked someone out, to dance, I ended up married to her for 28 years. LOL, and I forget how to flirt, I just am me, for who else can I be. I hope that explains that, right1

I am glad to have my blog page back, so I can write again here. I am sure i shall produce more blogs and poems and rants. I always do it seems. It is easier to write, for me, then to try to stand up in front os someone and give speeches or presentations. Some wanted me to read my poetry at an event here, andI said no and they couldn’t understand why. In private i have been asked why, and i told the few who asked, I have PTSD from childhood and military service. So I panic and my nerves get me in large crowds. But, to each their own they say, so I leave if the crowd is too big, easier for me that way. I am not being rude or non-caring when I do it folks, I just have to.

Ok, I have ranted and written again. I have gone over some of what is on my mind for now. Until the next blog, I wish all well.

Navigating Life After Loss: A Widow’s Perspective


Yesterday, I went to lunch with my sister. we discussed many things, from our childhood days, to the results as we grew, to good times and bad. It seems, no matter what, life does have it’s ups and downs folks, and each of us color our past, to be what we prefer.

We had five us of us siblings, and as we grew, we had fights, arguements and more among us. as most siblings will tell you, you survive them and you move on in life, and in the end, you always have at least one, your close to they say. Well, in my case it has always been my baby sister, the only girl in the family.

We were raised to be self-sufficient thats for sure. As Dad and Mom used to say, never depend on anyone elese they will fail you, usually when you need them most. So, we learned to stand alone and chug along at a good rate, steady and strong. As Mom used to say, keep moving, keep going, don’t stop, time is short. Good advice for all to Learn for sure. But, Dad, had the best advice, he said, “If you put your mind to it and stick to it, you can do anything and achieve it.” He knew what he was talking about, and his wisdom shows through in many wyas in my sister and myself.

As to the other three siblings, well, they went their own ways and did their own things. Each had their own problems and so did my sister and me. But, in the end, my sister and I turned fine. The othe rthree well, One is lost and lonely and estranged himself from the family at a young age. Another, died, at 30 due to drug use and aids. And the Baby of the family I do not know what happened to him. I know he is a fabulous artists when he draws. Wheithe rhe is happy or sad, well or not, he talks to no one, so I can’t be sure. Nor do I really know where he is, anymore.

It is amazing when you look back, how, each sibling and yourself change over the years and how you grow apart, and move on in life. Some stay seperate from each other as we have mostly, due to who we marry. Some stay close. But, in the end, we all live on and wonder at times, what went right or wrong in our past, don’t we?

Now I am 69, and old in my book, but some say not really. I did things in my life I never expected to do. I survived childhood and teenage years just fine, even through in pain at times and misery at other times.

My 20’s were a world of mystery at first of military days and marriage, and the birth of two daughters came next. Then a divorce, and a changing of circumstances came.

By, my mid-thirties, I wa single once more, on my own struggling to survive again. what I learned from my parents, kept me going as I struggled and made it through, to a second marriage. The first marriage lasted ten years and took two for the divorce to finish.

The Second marriage went well, no more children, but, a steady relationship of love and respect for twenty eight years. We took our marriage vows we wrote ourselves. In which we said we would learn from one another and grow together, we did. Afte rthe 28 years, together ended in my wife’s passing from breast cancer, I find myself alone and adrift once more. It’s now over 4 years since she passed, and I really haven’t dated much at all. I am alone and tire dof it really, but, I do not know how to date anymore or even to flirt anymore. LoL! When your in a long term relationship that ends suddenly, you realize you have no idea, how to date anymore or what to do to get back out there. So, I stay alone.

The real question, when one becomes a widow or widower like myself is, how long is long enough to grieve? How long does one wait, to go ok, enough can I go find someone again? My answer has been, for each of us wheither male or female it is different, depending on the emotional attachment we had and the respect we wish to show for the one we lost. if I am wrong about that, then, so be it, but it is how I see it.

So, somewhere out there is a lady for me, but, I stop short of asking anyone out and avoid it. Maybe it’sa trust thing, maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s noy being confident enough to say, want to go to dinne ror a movie or something. I don’t know. I just know alone is how I stay for now, untill I hit that stage of beingbrave enough to try once more. I know I am far from perfect, and I expect most are on both side of the genders, so to say. I do know to make things work in any relationship you want, you have to respect who you are with, be attracted to that person. and be able to compromise, to keep it all alive. So, I only hope is all.

So I question myself all the time,on that issue. Am I able and capable, will someone say yes if I ask or not? Should I, or Shouldn’t I? I wavier, and wander and wonder. I guess at some point, taking a chance is all one can do. Yet, at 69 years old, the real question is do I want to?

Coping with Loss: Embracing Memories and Grief


August has arrived folks, and the summer of 2025 is quickly passing by, soon enough it will be fall and then winter once again. Time does not stop for anything as we all know, it barrells on ahead and we age as it does. One thing mankind does is adapt to each day, it’s climate, it’s passing, it’s heat or cold, or rain or snow so to say. I have said to many people, over my years, there are things that never change the passing of time is one, and the battle between Mother Nature and Father Time is indeed eternal. That is a love affair locked into place for eternity for sure.

Well, August to me, is a time to look forward to cooling temperatures, fairer climates and of course memories. I say this because it has always been the fall months where things change in my book. When I talk change, people come and go in our life’s folks and it seems fall is when most of that happens for me. I hate seeing old friends disappear or pass, I hate seeing the loss of people for any reason. But, I know at some point the same will happen for me and I am aware of it more each day that goes by. I think all of us, are in some way, even though we try our best to ignore it or push it aside.

I have had plenty of losses in my life and I must admit that some are more important that others of course, Friends may come and go, and even pass away, but no loss is greater than when one losses a loved one. We all lose our parents eventually as we all know, and that loss or losses as you may refer to them, is painful and devastating enough as it goes. Some lose children and that must be the a very devasating lose for sure. Yet, for me, the biggest loss in my life was my wife of 28 years, in August of 2021, on the 10th of that month. It devasated me, it brought me to my knees, and caused me to reevaluate myself and my life and what I did not wish to put up with anymore. I also had to learn to live alone once more, after 28 years of a great marriage.

Today, is August 2nd, 2025, on this date in 2021, I was hospicing my wife at home, with the help of my sister. It would be an experience that made me cry daily, plead for it to be over daily, and at the same time, hope it would not end. But, as we all know, the eventual time does come and we lose the one we loved the most. When it did, I was lost, I didn’t know what to do, where to turn or how to make it through it all. If it were not for my sister, I would have never made it.

I can remember the final thing I said to my wife and what she said in return. I bent over her in bed and kissed her forehead and told her I loved her. And at the time I didn’t think she could reply, but, she did saying she loved me in return. A few days later, I went in to check on her again, and I knew it was close to the end, and I could tell. I bent over her once more kissed her forehead and I told her to stop holding on, to let go, and go join her parents, grandparents and her son, who had passed before her. I knew she was suffering being unable to eat, drink or talk or move anymore, from the cancer that she had. I just wanted her to pass and be out of pain.

The hardest thing to do, once she passed was to call and report her death, to the authorities. The waiting for them to come and take her away was the hardest to do. I can clearly remember when they finally arrived, as I let them into our home, I told them, I couldn’t watch. I walked out into the driveway and around the side of the house and did not go back in till they were gone. She was gone, but, I could not look at her being taken away. I did not want her to go.

Now it will be four years since she passed on August 10th, soon. as I write this, I cry, because i miss her warmth, her kindness, her intelligence and her companionship. I miss having her to laugh with, to go out with, to even watch tv with. The trips, the outings, the silly things and the serious things we shared. I stop and think of all of it. The shows, the movies, the plays we went to, the dinners we cooked and served together. Our life was not perfect together, but, one thing I can honestly say, is, I miss her each night and day. I wish to God she was here today. yet, I have the 28 years of memories, that well up, when I am alone or I see a reminder of all of it out there. I remember, what she said to her daughter one day, when they were discussing me, before she couldn’t anymore. She looked at her daughter and told her, Bill will be ok, when I pass, why, because he is a realist, he accepts things as they are and deals with it all, in the proper way. Time has proven her correct, in many ways, and for that I shall always love her. I write this today, because I know, I will try to push through the next 8 days and make it pass as fast as I can. It for me is now the hardest time of my life each year. And writting is how I express my grief, my pain, my sorrow, my loss and sometimes my loves and joys too.

I thank God, for the day I met my Melinda and the dances we shared. The romance we shared and the love we had. she saved me, and I her. We did indeed live up to our Wedding Vows, They stated, we would marry to learn from one another and to grow together, we did it so, so well!

Aging Gracefully: Vital Tips for Health and Happiness


As I age, I am finding things that I didn’t know could affect me. First is how I eat and what I eat. Diet and how much is important. I find I need more fruits and veggies as I age and less junk food. I also am finding what I eat affects my energy levels and how I feel each day.

Exercise is another thing. If I walk some, I feel better. Stretching my legs and keeping moving helps. If I tend to stop and lay around I feel worse. S0, movement is vital as I age. To help on this point I took up bowling normally twice a week now one day in a Senior League and the other with some friends, I made, where I live. Yet in the end, it helps, but, still I find there are some other things, I need to do, to keep going, as I age.

Reading is vital, whether for education purposes or for entertainment and pleasure. The mind is a terrible thing to waste was an old saying I heard long ago as a child. I still believe in that one folks. The more you know, the more you can protect yourself and advance yourself and your pleasures. Seems, to me all need to remember these things as we age, for when we fall off the cliff, so to say on any of the above, we tend to slowly go downhill in the life we live so to say. Our way of life and how we live it effects us in all ways. If we slow or do not engage mind and body, we lose the functions at times, and we begin to deteriotate as we go along.

I face the above possibilities, greater than most, being a Disabled Veteran. I suffer from back injuries of 6 herniated discs in my spine, PTSD also in two forms from childhood and service. How do I overcome, well I push through pain, or mental anguish, and look for a horizon of blue skies and smiles and laughter. We can’t always find such blue skies and laughter, so we must at times create them on our own to keep going. I am now 69 years old and live in a 55 plus community and I have seen others, older than me, who are happier than I, for sure. I just want to live my senior years I have left being engaged, participating in life and laughter if I can. As I told my mother when I was a child, when I do die, I hope it will be with a smile and some laughter on my lips.

The next problem with aging is a simple one folks. It is the loneliness factor many of us feel as we get older. We tend to isolate more, engage less and find ourselves spending more time alone than ever before in our lives. We read more, we do things like walking alone, we build puzzles and try to entertain ourselves more. We also as we age, tend to avoid others, who tell us to shut up, or calm down, or stop laughing. we avoid those who don’t like us for whatever reason, or who we dislike due to their actions or words. Now I know many say, I am wrong for doing so and I should just let these comments roll off my back and just keep going instead. But, for me, like I think, many others, if I can’t be me, and laugh, talk and enjoy, I am not staying in that crowd. I don’t care about the reason someone says for me to shut up, calm down, or don’t laugh, I just know, if I can’t do these things, I feel out of sorts and like I am not wanted in said groups.

I have said this before to others and I shall say it here and now, I am me, who else can I be? We are the accumilation of our experiences in life. Each of us react the way we do, due to what we have lived through. We enter each situation with the prior experiences we have and what worked for us in each situation. we reach back mentally and emotionally, look at the present and react accordingly to the current place we find ourselves in, we protect ourselves in this way and that my friends is just a fact of human nature.

Under today’s society in America and our current culture, men and women, are very careful, parinoid and cautious. We do not want to be abused, taken avantage of as we age. Nor do we wish to be taken for the money we earned or as fools. Add in the current anger in the political climate, and in this country, that is currently festering and wham, we have a mess to live through and we do the best we can. Also as we age, if you are divorced, or widowed, you tend to compare who you meet, to whom you had prior in your life, as your partner, wife or husband. When they don’t live up to those standards, styles or ways, you tend to walk away, going not for me. So, in the end ladies and gents, we end up alone, because we are unwilling to accept people who are different. So life tends to get lonelier as you age. It’s a fact, especially if you are a widow or widower. You spent many years with the person you lost, it was comfortable, it was loving. So, you tend to seek someone that is as close to what you had before. And as I can tell you, no two people are the same, so it it like Tom Cruise’s Mission Impossible! These are just my thoughts and ideas and beliefs on May 9th, 2025. I wish all the best, i always do.