Tag: relationships

The Dating Dilemma: Understanding America’s Gender Divide


Society in America has changed to a point of almost no return. People get angry from discussions, they don’t interact anymore. Women are afraid of men and men of women. It’sa crazy problem few understand these days, or have a solution for.

Across the country, the dating scene or interactions between men and women, have diminished in many ways. The simple ways of meeting a person of the opposite sex for dating or a relationship of any kind has become difficult and hard to do. Dating sites have become a breeding ground for spam, phonies, pretenders and players. It seems, people wnat to tease, or post hemselves as available and then back out or run from anyone online texting or emailing or leaving them messages. men and women get ghosted, or ignored period. Thus, the lack of interaction between men and women in American Society.

There are certain issues for both sides as far as this issue goes in general. Women, believe the only rreason men want them, is for sex, or for money. They want to be independent and able to care for themselves, but, on the othe rhand they search for men, who can provide for them also, in ways such as, fixing their homes or cars, or doing work around their homes they live in. men, also do not want to be taken for money, like women, or their personal belongings also. What’s lacking is trust, honesty, caring and actually talking to one another with proper communication and listening. It’s a pretty sad state of affairs in American Society these days.

Politics divides many a sit is today also. american society has evolved into a war between the sexes, that only is escalating as it goes on and time passes. women complain when men discuss the problem and tell men it’s their own fault, while men tell the women they are not open enough, to allow approaches and availabilty for dating. It’sa serious cycle that keeps spinning and pushes both side further apart for sure.

The common ground is really, that both sides, fear approaching the other for basically many of the same reasons, unless, you include the sex issue of course. SO, what cna be done to overcome it is my question? How do people both women and men, get ove rthe doubts, the issues, the worries that are causing it, when neither will approach the other? when one goe sout even to a Coffee Shop, or a Library, or a Store or anywhereelse you can feel the tension and stress in the air. It exists and i know many wil say, ah, I am always complaining, but, it is not a complaint but the facts, in America today. Which is why our own Government has come out talking about and discussing the LOneliness Syndrome in our country. It’s like a viscious cycle that is hard to break and change.

My suggestions in the past, have been laughed at, or angerily responded to as being my own, and not right. Some say, I dod it to myself and i should complain, but, I am not really complaining, as to posing the real question, which is how do we overcome it? I don’t have the answers folks, but, I do hope and wonder, can it be overcome and things made easier for all!

Navigating Dating as a Senior: Personal Insights


I went on Silver Singles an djoined ot try to find a lady in her mid-sixties to date and get to know. While I understand it is not easy to do in today’s America I figured I would give it a try. I did meet one lady, who is a very nice person, but, there was no chemistry or attraction for me on my part toward her. So I have to politely, let her down and say goodbye the best way I could, without hurting her.

Now I am not, Mr. Handsome, or Don Juan or anything of that sort. I am an average guy in my mind, who is a bit of an introvert, and not one who flirts. I also have not been in the dating scene in many years, except for a few dips in over the last three years. When I do try, I am amazed at how hard it is to find someone and get to know them. I am honest and if I do not like the lady I am with, I will tell them up front. If after a few dates or times together I do not feel an attraction or a romantic inclination toward the lady, I will l tell her either in person or through a text. I honestly am not saying the personality was wrong, for it wasn’t, there just was no physical attraction of any nature and no romantic inclinations on my part. So, I just basically, said good-bye as, nice as I could.

I am not a big bar or tavern person either, so meeting women in them is not my thing. While I enjoy social outtings, I can not handle large crowds well. So I have a two folded problem in meeting anyone that has become now, 3 folded in a way. 1) I am a bit of an introvert when it comes to women I do not know. 2) Flirting is an art I do not know how to do properly. 3) My age being 69, puts me at a distinct disadvantage, because finding single senior women is not easy for me.

Anyway, life goes on and I will keep trying, but, is there a way to get there in Westborough, Ma.? I tried going to Taverns and bars in town, and when I do, they are loaded with people, and I get nervous and can’t handle the crowds so I leave. I usually try to sit at the bar and have a sandwhich and a drink at least, unless it is full and crowded, then I do not stay.

But, I have learned now to live alone again, and take care of myself. While I would like a female friend to hang with, laugh with and as a companion and friend and maybe a lover, I do not want to have anyone take advantage of me, or try to take what is mine. I think that is pretty clear, right?

Would I date someone who lives in my condo complex? Well, originally when I moved here, I said no. But, over time i have thought about it more than once. I think if a woman wanted to date me here, or I wanted to ask one, it would have to be done, with the idea that what happens between two people stays between the two involved. Even if it ended in a breakup that went sour it is no ones business except those involved, in my opinion. I hope that makes sense, for in my book that is being mature about it all.

Anyway, just a few thoughts on what I am thinking about in my search for someone to date. I don’t care what others think about what I do, No matter what you do, people talk, some wil say bad things, some good, and you can’t change that fact. So, Let Them is What I say. Can’t control it, so why worry about it. I can only control my own actions and what I say and do period, so Let me, be clear, I will do as I please to make myself happy, if I can. I hope that makes sense, lol.

Simple Survey of Massachuetts Women


Lets do a survey, of Massachuetts women who are over 60, single, divorced or Widowed I will ask some questions, I do not want your phone number or email or even your name, just simple answers if you can provide them, ladies.

First question,

  1. As a single women in today’s world, what is the first thing that draws you to a man?
  2. While all men will admit, we love a women’s curves and her pretty face, we know, that is not all women want us to notice, so what is most important to you? A) Your intelligence, B) To Be Respected, C) To Be cared for, D) To be listened to?
  3. What makes for a lasting relationship for you?
  4. Why in Massachuetts, a place where all women are well educated, and smart and make their own money, is it so hard for a man to get a date with you women?
  5. Do fears of being abused, used or taken for money come into play and if so, how?
  6. What age differences matter to you as a women, what range say like 10 years or less or can it be more?
  7. As a woman in your 60’s or up, are you seeking companionship, friendship, a relationship or what?
  8. What makes you listen to and be attracted to a man? A) His looks B) His Physical Form C) His intelligence, D) His sense of humor E) His ability to participate in events and such ? f) His Pick-up lines?
  9. In Massachuetts, where do senior women over 60 go and what are they looking to do?
  10. Last but not least, I notice Massachuetts women will look, smile, but never approach a man, in anyway, why is that?

Now I ask these questions for my own personal knowledge and to try to get some insights to the women of Massachuetts. As a Single widower age 69, living alone, I have to wonder all all of these points. So any help ladies would be nice.

If you wish to answer some of these questions or all for me; please feel free to reply in confidence and without any names, numbers or email addresses, to bmccurrach20@gmail.com. Thank You for reading this, if you did and taking the time, if you answer, ahead of time.

Best Dating Apps for Seniors: A Guide for Men Over 70


Ok, I am going to ask, the women of the world,What Dating App is the best for us men who are 70 and up?

I have heard Match/com/ I have heard Zoosk/OurTime/Silver Singles and more. It is confusing for me, because i am a widower at 69, and haven’t been in the dating scene really since 1993. Back then, I went to Single’s Dances and it worked for me. But, as we all know, today, Single’s Dances don’t exist for people my age.

I am not a real drinker or bar or tavern person, although I may stop in once in a while ata atavern for a sandwhich I like and maybe a beer or soda. Just to get out some

I like Bowling and do so once a week in a Senior League at my area’s bowling alley. I like movies, I like reading and walking. I like playing Billards/pool also.

I read alot on and off as I go along, current;y I am reading The Let Them Theory, while is does repeat itself somewhat, the theory itself is an interesting thing, I never considered before. I have learn it doe shelp to just say Let Them, as you go along. And decide to just do what you can or will to help yourself instead of getting involved.

So my question is simple. I don’t wnat a young woman, I don’t want a hustler to take me, or use me for money. And I am sure many women feel the same about us men. So that isa two sided problem in life. What I am wondering is whats the best way to go for me. Maybe I shouldn’t ask, but, I wa staught asa child, have a question, there is no dumb ones, just ask the right people or person for the answers. So, I think the best place to ask for information on dating and meeting women my age, is the women my age. I hope i am right, but time shall tell, right?

Dating is like riding a bike I am told, once you do it, it should be easy. It isn’t really, why, it involves flirting and asking somepone out. If you are like me, and have been out of the dating scene sinc ethe 1990s, well, as you can tell the world has changed and so have people in general and what they expect and are looking for. It is all a mystery to me, all because I dedicated myself to one woan for all the years i did, till she passed from Breast Cancer in 2021.

Not trying to complain or bitch or moan here, not trying to impose or be a burden or an asshole here either. Just looking for the best apps and way to go, I am tired of just being alone these days.

Figured hey, I havea blog site, andI can write and ask and see if anyone will answer me, in a correct manner and not sarcastically or mean. If people get nasty, I can always delete the replies,and just surrender and give up, also. I don’t like arguing or fighting with anyone, I am a peaceful person. just look at it as a man looking for suggestions on which way to go, at a later stage of life, after many years married. This single stuff is not the same as when I was younger lol.

Navigating Life After Loss: A Widow’s Perspective


Yesterday, I went to lunch with my sister. we discussed many things, from our childhood days, to the results as we grew, to good times and bad. It seems, no matter what, life does have it’s ups and downs folks, and each of us color our past, to be what we prefer.

We had five us of us siblings, and as we grew, we had fights, arguements and more among us. as most siblings will tell you, you survive them and you move on in life, and in the end, you always have at least one, your close to they say. Well, in my case it has always been my baby sister, the only girl in the family.

We were raised to be self-sufficient thats for sure. As Dad and Mom used to say, never depend on anyone elese they will fail you, usually when you need them most. So, we learned to stand alone and chug along at a good rate, steady and strong. As Mom used to say, keep moving, keep going, don’t stop, time is short. Good advice for all to Learn for sure. But, Dad, had the best advice, he said, “If you put your mind to it and stick to it, you can do anything and achieve it.” He knew what he was talking about, and his wisdom shows through in many wyas in my sister and myself.

As to the other three siblings, well, they went their own ways and did their own things. Each had their own problems and so did my sister and me. But, in the end, my sister and I turned fine. The othe rthree well, One is lost and lonely and estranged himself from the family at a young age. Another, died, at 30 due to drug use and aids. And the Baby of the family I do not know what happened to him. I know he is a fabulous artists when he draws. Wheithe rhe is happy or sad, well or not, he talks to no one, so I can’t be sure. Nor do I really know where he is, anymore.

It is amazing when you look back, how, each sibling and yourself change over the years and how you grow apart, and move on in life. Some stay seperate from each other as we have mostly, due to who we marry. Some stay close. But, in the end, we all live on and wonder at times, what went right or wrong in our past, don’t we?

Now I am 69, and old in my book, but some say not really. I did things in my life I never expected to do. I survived childhood and teenage years just fine, even through in pain at times and misery at other times.

My 20’s were a world of mystery at first of military days and marriage, and the birth of two daughters came next. Then a divorce, and a changing of circumstances came.

By, my mid-thirties, I wa single once more, on my own struggling to survive again. what I learned from my parents, kept me going as I struggled and made it through, to a second marriage. The first marriage lasted ten years and took two for the divorce to finish.

The Second marriage went well, no more children, but, a steady relationship of love and respect for twenty eight years. We took our marriage vows we wrote ourselves. In which we said we would learn from one another and grow together, we did. Afte rthe 28 years, together ended in my wife’s passing from breast cancer, I find myself alone and adrift once more. It’s now over 4 years since she passed, and I really haven’t dated much at all. I am alone and tire dof it really, but, I do not know how to date anymore or even to flirt anymore. LoL! When your in a long term relationship that ends suddenly, you realize you have no idea, how to date anymore or what to do to get back out there. So, I stay alone.

The real question, when one becomes a widow or widower like myself is, how long is long enough to grieve? How long does one wait, to go ok, enough can I go find someone again? My answer has been, for each of us wheither male or female it is different, depending on the emotional attachment we had and the respect we wish to show for the one we lost. if I am wrong about that, then, so be it, but it is how I see it.

So, somewhere out there is a lady for me, but, I stop short of asking anyone out and avoid it. Maybe it’sa trust thing, maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s noy being confident enough to say, want to go to dinne ror a movie or something. I don’t know. I just know alone is how I stay for now, untill I hit that stage of beingbrave enough to try once more. I know I am far from perfect, and I expect most are on both side of the genders, so to say. I do know to make things work in any relationship you want, you have to respect who you are with, be attracted to that person. and be able to compromise, to keep it all alive. So, I only hope is all.

So I question myself all the time,on that issue. Am I able and capable, will someone say yes if I ask or not? Should I, or Shouldn’t I? I wavier, and wander and wonder. I guess at some point, taking a chance is all one can do. Yet, at 69 years old, the real question is do I want to?

From Connection to Loneliness: The Shift in Dating Culture


Lets discuss, the currect state of the dating world folks. First off the younger crowd has the advantage of course, due to their youthfullness. As we age and marry and the divorce of become widows and widowers things change.

The dating world or scene as I call it is now all online apps, like Match, Our Time, Bumble bee and such. As a senior at 69, and heading todard 70, dating is non-exsistant for me. I tired dating apps and ran into the problems many do not get or understand. 1) Dating apps are not free for anyone, they cost money to join and search. 2) Half of the people on them, do not use their current picture and doll up their profile to attract others anyway. 3) Distances come into effect, and you either drive or you don’t. 4) who wants to drive for an hour or more to meet someone, and then have to do so, everytime you see them. Gas prices and time and wear and tear on your vehicle then come into the process too.4) People tend to make up profiles that are not realistic and they act when you meet them, you don’t get the real person. I have looked at all of the dating apps believe me, from Zoosk, to Match, to Our Time and Senior sites too. What I found is, simple, it’s like a game is beimg played and it is not one for really meeting someone.

When I grew up, you meet your mate or spouse at events, dances,outside playing when young or in school. Or if you went to a park or playground, also. Today these things do not exist anymore. They are no Singles Dances, there are no just talking to anyone you meet, people judge far too fast. So what does one do, when you reach my age? I am 69 going on 70 now.

As a widower, I am alone constantly. I stay alone for many reasons, which are the same reasons the dating scene sucks these days. Trust is an issue for many, money, and holding onto it counts. Honesty is hard to find. People tend to talk, but, they don’t tend to cross the line into your personal space these days. Too many fears come into play. I don’t wnat someone to take my money, or use me or abuse me. I don’t want, someone who has the attitude of me, me, me, and screw you. In orde rto even think of having a relationship, the first thing that comes to mind is honesty, then respect, and loyality. Also, are we on the same wave length on many things or not. I would never date a person who is into Trump or his MAgA World, sorry folks, but, I don’t go there.

I see anger in the world, I see fear of opening up in the world, I see people dodging relationships and hiding in all ways. The world is not an open one these days. Interaction is frowned upon as I see it, except for events like bowling or public concerts and show or ball games. Even then, people tend to avoid interacting with others, for fear of being abused, or used, or stolen from. The world is a mean place these days.

Prices are rising on all items, a simple lunch date wil cost a man a good 40 to 50 bucks at least. Everything costs folks. I own my condo, and no I don’t want anyone moving in with me either. And I don’t want to move in with any woan either, and get told I am trying to take her for money. I find that interacting in this day and age is a constant process of being exteremely careful, of what you say or do. Anger is everywhere in America these days.

Look I miss my wife who passed in 2021 and it now 2025. She was apositive person, smiling, laughing and smart asa whip and I miss that. I didn’t marry her for money or belongings, I didn’t treat her wrong, or cheat on her. What I did was stay with her till she passed. Loyality goes a lone way folks. Honesty is vital in any relationship. Being positive helps. Truth goes a long way too folks. Open communication with each othe ris vital, even if you can’t agree on everything. Compromise is a word seldom heard these days folks. But, if you don’t learn to compromise and accept the differences in the relationship your in, will die out. Compromising is vital not only in relationships, but in life in ggeneral folks, never forget that. No one is 100 percent correct all the time. Accept that for yourself and don’t set the bar too high for someone else to be in your life. If you can laugh at yourself, be yourself at all times, you stand a better chance at surving happily in the end.

I am not a relationship guru so to say, I don’t have all the answers, I don’t think anyone does. What I do is go day by day and accept what happens around me and roll with it. I don’t like people who try to change me for their own reasons, and I hate forcing myself on anyone. I also do not believe in being a burden to anyone in anyway. I don’t impose on people, I don’t need to lie to people, I only trust the ones I know. Maybe it is the wrong way of looking at life, but, it is the safe way.

So, as I go along I gave up dating apps, cost too much and they don’t work. I am now trying to just me be, more than anyother thing in life. I like to read, I like puzzles, I like pool, I like bowling. I like going out for lunch now and then and I like walking some for exercise. As I age, I have learned to just do me, do what I like, be me and have fun the best I can, I am old now an dgetting older by the second, minute, hour and days that roll by. I just want to enjoy life, have fun, and I like to help others now and then also. I have basically, become like a coach for pool, or bowling when I go. I know I am not perfect at either sport, but I have fun is all.

Life in Modern America is getting rougher and more lonely than ever. What I am doing is learning, I force nothing, I come and go, I talk to whoever talks to me. I laugh, I even cry when needed. I am human, and no one should be alone all the time. I do have memories, I do have feelings, if you cut me I do bleed folks. If you slander me, or if you attack me, I disappear totally. I don’t need to put up with taht stuff, I am too old for it. America is a divided nation now, republicans and democrats fight it out constantly. MAGA forces are everywhere, and our country is slowly dying from it all. Instea dof a we society folks, we have gone toa me society and screw you, as long as I get my fair share as they say.

America was so much better when we were a We society than we are now. We all were for good things back then, caring for our seniors, being friendly, helping one another. What happened to that folks, where did it go? I shall say this one more time, America, was and can bea better place for all. If We accept each other, help each other, interact with each other.Sadly America has gone the me. me. me society approach now. What is needed in America now, is for all to start living in a We Society once more. IT’s the biggest problem Americans may ever face, because we are stubborn, arrogent, angry, and foolish. We can’t see that the me, me, me society is not working for all of us. What I am saying folks, America is at it’s best when we are honest, opem, friendly and working together. It is time, to end this me. me.me society and go back toa we,we,we society. If we don’t America will crumble and fall. Think about it folks and i think you will agree.

Understanding Senior Dating and Loneliness Syndrome


Good Morning all, it is Sunday Feb. 23rd, 2025. It’s a whole 35 degrees outside and sunny today here, in Westborough, Massachusetts. Usually most people who read my blogs, think all I do is politics in them. Well, this one is on a different subject, to consider for most.

I am doing this one on what the Government, has publicly stated, is the Loneliness Syndrome. That is real in America. My take on this subject, will be based on 55 plus, Seniors and the dating world today.

I live as many know in a 55 plus community. Now according to all people who know the population here. The women out number the men by at least 3 to 1. Which makes the men living here, basically the minority. So, that said, if like i have been told, there are 40 Single men living here. That makes, a whole lot more single women living here. 3 to 1 means at least 120 women to the 40 men, currently.

Senior dating in such a community among community members, is not well looked upon. At least that is what I was told when I moved in or shortly after. So, I made a decision not to date anyone living here. I thought well it is better that way and safer. Is it really, I don’t know.

Now in general, I hear women complain about men not approaching them on a daily basis. I know women are taught at a young age as girls, not to approach men. They are taught that men should do the approaching period. So they do not attempt, to do so. Now, this is fine, until you realize, the men are not doing it for some reason.

Ever wonder why ladies? So lets break a few myths, or ideas or thoughts here. You may, find the answers you seek in this, for I have viewed it all.

  1. Women set very high standards for the men they date. And men, get the feeling they are not wanted because of that.
  2. Men have some of the same worries that women have, in the dating world.
  3. Like women, men like to be respected, and they worry about finances too, both sexes do.
  4. Men do not like to be taken for money, any more then a woman does.
  5. Men do not like being used anymore than women do.
  6. Women expect men to be able to read signals and understand when they are interested. It not necessarily so, ladies.
  7. Men hesitate to approach a woman for many reasons. As the same applies in return.
  8. One unsure, lack of confidence.
  9. Two, scared of rejection and not sure if they can handle it.
  10. Three is simple, they aren’t sure of how to do so. Either due to lack of experience or what would work.
  11. We sometimes, know we will end up in the friendship bin, so we don’t go there.
  12. Let me say this, in todays society. Men are frowned upon if they approach too fast, too slow or in the wrong way. We know we can be ignored or worse.
  13. Senior Dating while it should be fun, can be rough. men and women both know, we are taking a chance, if we put ourselves out there.
  14. So, what do you do, if your lonely, and want a relationship? Good question right!
  15. I have looked into this and what I got back from many women is the following:
  16. Volunteer in an Organization in town.
  17. Join The Senior Center
  18. Join The library
  19. Get involved in Politics and Town business.
  20. All good ideas, but, not a good way to find someone really.
  21. Join a Gym or Health Club, at 69 not sure that would work.
  22. Dating Apps, like Zoosk, Match, and others. Cost and not always honest.

Now, I have tried some dating apps, like Zoosk, Match, Plenty of Fish, and such. Let me give you my results and see what you think.

A) The first one i met was a woman, who was very healthy and loved to walk miles a day. Took three dates to go no thank you. She didn’t match her profile, in my book, And not my type.

B) The second one I met I took to lunch in her town at a diner. What I found was, she didn’t look like her profile pic first off. Secondly, she was far too busy to be dating.

C) The third woman I met was a nice person and we went to dinner together. We enjoyed a fine meal chatted, but there was no chemistry there. Common right, happens. we even paid dutch.

D) The fourth woman I met off a dating App was kind, polite and a good person. we had a meal on me, chatted and laughed and said goodbye. I am not a religious man and she is religious. So, matching is a problem.

As you can see, the other problem with Senior Dating is matching, age, interests and more. All of us want to date or be with someone we can like, enjoy and do things with. By doing that we all, tend, to get to know each other better and go forward. if we have nothing in common, no physical chemistry or attraction, well, it doesn’t work.

I talked to one woman, I met, and she told me she is in her 60’s, never married. When I asked why, she told me she was too fussy, and wouldn’t go there. we laughed when she said it, but, I could, tell, it bothered her. Sadly, many people of both genders do this. What no one gets is even in today’s world, one answer comes to mind. Compromise! We don’t want to, so we end up alone.

Any good relationship, takes compromise folks, and that is on both sides. some of us will go to Church, even if we don’t now. Some of us will accept a smoker and some won’t. Some will take a drinker and some won’t. The problem isn’t what we won’t take or accept, it is making it clear up front and being honest. Some things many will accept, like pets, children, and more. Others will stand firm, and state they won’t. It’s rough in America, in the dating scene, but even rougher, when your a Senior. Why, because you are set in your ways, you do not wish to change. Until you do and compromise in someway, loneliness will be your companion.

For me I may, have made a mistake in saying I wouldn’t date anyone, in my condo complex. But, if I back up, and change that how will it affect me and those around me? There are many factors one has to consider. Mainly is it worth it to try, and secondly, what happens if it fails? Then, I have to face the backlash that can happen, where I live. I have always thought if a relationship breaks up, it is always blamed on the man. If that happens, then it spreads through the female population quickly, and bam, your an outcast. Maybe I am wrong, time shall tell.

Understanding Emotional Aging: A Deep Dive


Can we discuss the aging process, for all of us? Seriously, as we age certain factors begin to tell us what we can or can not do in life and with our bodies and minds. We notice them first as aches and pains, limits on movement, and forgetfulness. Then we, slowly begin to notice old friends begin to drift away, or pass away and we get lonelier over time, because we are set in our ways, and we basically learn, we don’t want to put up with other people’s bullshit, in our lives, or their little pet peeves, why because we have enough of our own to deal with. lol!

So we begin to slowly isolate seperate and then we complain about that isolation and separation and lack of interaction. yet we are the ones that stop it without realizing we are doing so. It is a process, as we age we go through, and believe it or not each of us do so as we age. Age is a factor, like time is, like mother nature is too. The world does grind us away as we live in it, we suffer through the weather, the heat, the cold, the precipitation, and then, we go damn, can’t we get decent weather anymore. Then, some of us fly south for warmer climates and then come home again in warmer months, and others join move to those warmer spots and settle in, till we pass.

Physically our bodies tell us, how much we can take and for how long by the process of how they do break down. mentally it is a slower decline rate for many and for some a very fast rate due to illnesses, we do not know how we get, but we do. we have the forgetful areas, the slip up times, the loss of control of tempers, or the emotional loss of controls also. We reach out for medical help and we learn, it is best to do so, so the conditions we do have do not get worse. the biggest threat as we age, is not our bodies, physically, not our minds, though we should keep them healthy and use them more. No, the biggest threat to aging folks, is actually the emotional turmoil we go through. Each time our emotion rise and fall, it drives us lower in that area we need most to survive, energy. Your energy gets drained by emotions faster than any other thing that happens to you. For as your emotional well being goes, so goes your mental and physical health. I know I sound crazy, but, if we stop and think about it, examine ourselves better, we find it is true.

Love brings us up and makes us happy, sadness slows us down and causes depression. As we go through each, we begin to experience highs and lows, and they do take their effects upon us do they not? The difference is as we age we do not handle these ups and downs, these highs and lows, emotionally in the same way, anymore. There is not the constant high of being in love, or the constant low of depression, unless, we let it happen to us, is that not the case? I think in my opinion, the less emotional turmoil we go through ion life, the longer we stay feeling better about ourselves, not only physically, but mentally and we reach an emotional level, we like to be at, an even knell so to say. At that point we balance as long as we can, and we strive to maintain what we have. Knowing full well, we can’t have it forever like we would like. we lose different things, the mate we chose, the children we raised, the family structures we loved so much and held so dear. In the end, we learn we must still go on alone, when all else is lost, for the opposite choice is not really one we wish to face. So, onward we go, and we survive, because believe it or not, we do not determine when we must pass from the earth and plane we live on, it is not in our control.

Someone asked me once, what I believe in, God or something else? I stopped and thought about it at one point and I came to realize something, some never do. Whether there is a God or not, there is a purpose for us all. I believe, we are placed upon this planet and plane of existence, to complete missions in our lives, of which we do not know exactly what they be. And as we go along in the lives we lead, we slowly accomplish those missions, without realizing we are. When we complete all we are intended to complete, then we are recalled back to from whence we came. We affect others life’s as we go along, and in each relationship we have, we are there for a reason we do not understand. Yet in the end, that person or relationship is affected by us and they either stick with us till they are fulfilled, or they get from us what they need and move on and we start the next mission. I know sounds like a crazy theory right, but, in the end, it is not, it may be the ultimate truth for all mankind. And that my friends and enemies, doubters or believers, or anyone else, maybe the bottom line!

Embracing Life After Loss: Lessons Learned at 68


December 15th, 2024, it is chilly and cold outside today, the sun is shinning bright here, in Westborourgh, Mass. The day began for me at a lil after 6 am. Each day is different for sure and it doesn’t matter, who your neighbors may be or where you live. Time seems to move right along at a steady pace. I have now loved alone, basically since my wife died, and it is now over 3 years, since she passed. And yes I still think of her constantly, especially when someone or something reminds me of her. But, I also have learned she is not coming back and to look ahead, for I am still here. I have learned to live each day for myself, do the best I can, and have the most fun I can.

Well, sometimes, things happen, and you can’t change them, nor, did you intend them, but, wham they smack ya upside the head. Or someone thinks you did something and you didn’t, and wham again, it’s another smack at ya. I really, don’t care which it is, I just wish it would stop happening to me, these stupid things. I was leaving yesterday to go to the store and as I passed through the lobby on my way out, a lady was bending over and picking up some packages she ordered. As I was going out the door I looked back and she told me I was looking at her ass! I wasn’t of course but, she accused me of that. I told her, I did nothing wrong and she was the one bent over, not my fault, lol. I didn’t want to say what I was going to, which was, Lady I don’t give two cents about your ass! But, as usual I am too polite to do that, so I just left it and went to the store. Afterwards, I thought of seeking her out and telling her, I wasn’t looking, but, she wouldn’t believe me anyway, so I said fuck it. Silly shit happens all the time, when you live in a 55 plus community like I do. I could care less about her assor any other women’s to be honest, at 68 soon to be 69, seen enough of em. lol

Onward I go, throat was scratchy and sore this am, so I got some ice cream and cough drops for it and some chicken for the NFL games later. In the meantime, I wonder if I am doing the right thing, by trying to get out more and interact with others or not. Seems, some people don’t like me period, and because of that I usually stay at home. I don’t like people who think their shit don’t stink, or think they are better than everyone else, or smarter than all. Their not really, they just have this big ego and big mouth they use to say stupid things without thinking first. But, hey, as mom told me as a child, engage brain before you speak, is the only advice I can give these folks. Some accuse other of doing things they never did, and some accuse others of things they think we did, when in fact they do them themselves. It’s a crazy world ya know, and humanity itself, is not really stable in all ways. I know I am not loved by many, who live here and as far as I am concerned I am not worried about it, anymore. I used to worry about it, but then, I figured out, no one is going to love everybody and no will get along with everyone either, so why force it. I am me, and that is who I be, if you don’t like me avoid me and I shall return the favor for you. I think that makes better sense then hiding, or fighting with someone verbally, mentally or physically. So that is how I live, so if I don’t talk to you, much, please understand, it’s either you made it clear by your actions and replies you don’t like me, or I just don’t care for you either. I hope that makes sense. I know it does for me.

In my life, I have many different friends, and I still have some from when I was 14 years old and guess I always will, at least I hope so. I still have friends from my service days too, and my two marriages actually. I am not that difficult to get along with really. Yet, for some strange reason, some misread me, or don’t like my sense of humor or style, whatever. I can only say what I always say to some, I am me, who else can I be! So, as life goes on, I have learned I don’t like stuck up people, I don’t like people who think they are better than I. I don’t like people who think you said or did something when you didn’t, and who never stop to ask, if you did. I am not in love with liars, or thieves, I hate violence also. I think live should be live peacefully, and it should be fun. I had enough pressure situations in my life, in my childhood, my teenage years and as an adult who was married twice and in the service for 16 years. all I want is some peace, and happiness, some laughter, a way to relax. Is that too much to ask folks?

Now being 68 and turning 69 in a lil over one month, I cam honestly say, I never hurt anyone on purpose. I never was a physical person, nor did I torture or bother anyone mentally. I am not a vengeful soul either, I usually just walk away. No sense trying to change anyone else, the only time I hit anyone was to protect myself, period. Time does not change my nature or who I be, I shall always be just me.

Since moving here, I have seen many different types of people, both male and female. The stuck up woman, or the macho man images come to mind for some. Then there is the intellectual types, or those who rely on an attempt at humor to fit in. Then, there is the sarcastic ones too, they are sarcastic about everything they say to anyone and try to hide it behind a giggle, or a laugh, saying they didn’t mean it when they did. people are funny, and you can usually read it, if your patient, and smart enough to. You learn, you see, and you react appropriately, to avoid problems. That’s my way anyway. I never judge a book by it’s cover, I learned long ago, what’s inside a person may be totally different than the cover they show. All, have a way of protecting themselves in place they have learned to do, as they go along.

After two marriages, Two of everything for 40 years, I am now back to just me. No woman in my life, no children to pay for, no big homes to care for, just a decent condo, in a 55 plus community in a small Massachusetts town. A small car and all I need to survive. I read a lot these days, some politics, some murder stories, some biographies. I build puzzles, Walk when the weather is good. I play on the internet, and watch television. It is one day at a time for me now. Shop one day for food, do my laundry as needed, cook for myself and thats my way of life, simple is all. No I do not chase the women here and never will, just so that is known by those who thought otherwise.

I decided after I was asked to try to start a Single’s Group here in my community. To be honest, I have no interest in any kind of relationship. I am doing so, to help Widows and Widowers, but, I am not qualified as a grief counselor, so I had to expand it to all singles. So I did, and will see how it goes. I know at 68 going on 69, no woman wants an old man like me, and I never was a handsome person lol. Hopefully, it will help the ladies and gents here.

The other thing that has my interest, is Veterans and what we need. Many towns have places for Veterans to go and be with others and to entertain them, as well as to provide for their care. So, I was told there was a position open on The Veteran’s Board for the town, so I thought it over. I applied in the hope I may be of assistance to the town and the Veterans. I hope in my own way I can, but time shall tell.

In January, I turn 69 years old, and I have now outlived my father, mother and step-father as well as my mother. All died between 55 and 60 years old. I have one brother is older by a few years I never see, a sister I see now and then and a younger brother who I never see also. One of the five of us died at 30 years old many years ago now. My grandfathers died in their early 70’s, one at 72 and the other at 74, as far as I know. So how long I have left is a question for me, considering I have PTSD, 6 herniated discs in my spine, and more aliments. Pain is like a second constant for me, and I survive. I had Attention Deficit Disorder and Hyper-Activity as a child. I still overcame. I am the only one in my family with a college degree I believe, so I did ok. I write a lot or poetry, short stories and this blog. I do have short stories online and poems. Life hasn’t always been a bowl of jello for me, yet I never surrender or give up. As my life goes forward, I just hope, I can live it out in peace and some happiness.

Behind The Cover


Behind The Cover

September 24, 2024

William M. McCurrach

We all believe in what we see,

But, are we really seeing the real you or me.

How many are hurt inside,

How many have too much pride,

To show the pain they feel,

How many of us go beyond the surface and tell others how we feel?

Yes we look happy, we smile, we talk, and interact,

We don’t tell all about ourselves,

That is a fact.

Like a book with a fancy cover,

We look so good as our pain and hurts,

Can not be discovered.

Physically we hide the fact we are in braces and pain,

We winch at times when someone misuses our name,

We hide the real things that are wrong,

For we do not want pity,

We want to seem strong.

We stand tall even when our spines do hurt,

We fight back when people, drag our name through the dirt,

We have our pride,

But we hide our pains deep inside.

Do not judge someone by the way they look,

Don’t think because they stand tall, or walk well that they don’t hurt,

For if you do, you misjudge, you see,

It’s like looking at a books cover,

All pretty and nice,

When inside there may be someone hard as ice, or a hot mess,

You will never know, if the surface is how you judge,

So, be careful especially if the book cover,

Wont budge !

You never know, what is behind the cover !