Tag: surrogate parents

End Wars,Build Family/And Learn from Past Mistakes


      Sunday has arrived once more and life seems to go on, but the world is cruel to too many in it. At least the societies that are out here are killing each other off for what reasons I know not. I tire of Wars, I tire of hearing of killings and deaths left and right, it all depresses me big time. Why can’t mankind learn to compromise to survive and get along? Sadly mankind has been killing itself off slowly since the day of its creation, we believe we are each of us better than those who came before us, and it is not always true folks!

From an American‘s point of view, we didn’t belong in Korea, we didn’t belong in Vietnam, we didn’t belong in Iraq, or Afghanistan and now we do not belong in Syria either. Why do we get involved, simple we have to prove we are the powerhouse or strong country to watch out for and lead right? Wrong, I say to our government and to the american people. I ask that you look more closely at taking care of America and Americans first before you go fighting someone else’s argument, realize that if you took all the money for weapons, supplies, transportation of troops and weapons back and put it back into the American Economy we would be much better off than fighting wars we can’t win! Ok That is  my Rant for the day, and believe me if I had a million dollars I would use it to stop wars on earth!

Next subject, Family, Family women and gentlemen is not always who you were born next in line to, or who you grew up with for many of us. My case is simple, I grew up running from house to house with surrogate parents instead of my own caring for me. At least on an emotional basis, I had surrogate parents in many places who helped me learn life and peace. Sadly our family units are not always the best and most stable unit to grow up in, so we look for replacements.

One more thing today to put out there, I write because I have lived a life of a mixture of turmoil, pain and hope and recovery. I write of true loves, true pains, and true recoveries. Every once in awhile I throw a bit of fiction and most of the time non-fiction out there. Most of what I have written and now published on Amazon’s Kindle E-books is based on truth, verbaten from my mind and mouth to yours, to learn from and read and laugh some at. My tears, fears, years, loves and military stories will be released as I go along I am sure, each intense yet readable in their own right I hope. 

I did a short  period of time in the Army, and was never happy with my position or job there. I was young and didn’t last and it was not the Army’s fault but mine. From there I went on to The Army National Guard here in Connecticut and learned responsibility, duty, commitment from Veterans who served in wars across the globe. Then I went on to the Navy, where I served until I could not anymore, due to spinal injuries. The point being service won’t hurt anyone who wants to do it, I recommend it to all young folks. Discipline, education and honest work go a long way in the world.

The End of today’s blog is my Newest Book I put on Amazon’s Kindle E-Books; When you read it if you do, and believe me I hope some do, please remember it is real, it happened and it shows the dangers of not knowing who you may marry, what their past may be, or what happened to them before you met them. I leave you today with the link for the Little Book I wrote:

“Dark Secrets Overcome”
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DJR1OKG

This is a True Story, Non-Fiction folks and is about false accusations, Sexual Abuse,Trials and Lawyers and in the end Overcoming the lies!

 

 

 

Surviving Being Unwanted!


      All my life I spent as a boy and a man I believed I was the most forgetable man in the world. I always had low self-esteem and gave up on things and people far before anyone else would. I suppose it doesn’t help to grow up with a mother who always told you, you were no good, you were rotten, you were like the father she divorced from, lazy and greasy and no good!  I suppose mothers as well as fathers, don’t realize the damage their words can do, or the lack of love, caring and hugs and kisses can do to a child. The question for most children who suffer mental and physical abuse in their parental home is really how do you over come it all and make life work for you? The answer my friends, is blowing in the wind, yes the answer is blowing in the wind, a Stevie Wonder classic song right? But oh so true when you stop to think about it and let things blow by or roll off your back. Stevie had it right in his song, for the answer is blowing in the wind!

      When your young and a parent doesn’t want you around or can’t handle you because you’re a rebel and you can’t get along with students in school or in the neighborhood, well you feel lost and alone. How do you over come it all, surrogate families and parents and then friends is how ! I did it as did millions of other kids world-wide I am sure, especially in America. I adopted families of friends I met as my own, let their parents advise me and listened to them speak to their own kids. I learned from friends, surrogate parents and lovers in the end that life is not all your main family that may not want you, it’s a world of people who may need and want you for different reasons.

        The hardest thing for any child is to grow up feeling unwanted, unloved or uncared for, and then to find out and go through your own family trying to give you away to others. I lived it all and I know how I over came it, but others may not have had the attitude, drive or desire to do what I did and make it work, yet they should if they want a life full of promise, hope and believing in themselves. If they want ever to feel wanted,  needed and loved because their own parents don’t really want them, they need to know they can reach out to others.

       Some parents are not made with motherly instincts or fatherly instincts, they never get it and have no idea how to raise a child or care for them. Such was my base family, a family of a mother who babbied one child her first and forgot the other four she had, never extending kisses and hugs except for one. Or the father you grow up with who comes home at night from work to hear his wife complaining of her kids who she thinks are asleep upstairs and makes her husband go up and drag them out of bed and straighten them out one by one. Yes we lived in terror of our father coming upstairs to get us each night, we lived in fear of his anger, the beatings and the boards, pipes and more. Yet I found a way out of it all !. Surrogate Parents and families and being away from home and hiding as much as humanly possible, it worked for me, until I had to make the decisions that shaped my own life further. Yeah I didn’t always have a warm guiding parents to help me so I made mistakes, but I survived and so can you!

Looking Back, 2011 slow ending!


      A little look back at life when your older is sometimes funny or silly or at times serious and ugly, but in the end it compiles quickly for the one living it. We are all actually, an accumulation of the experiences we have plus our emotional make-ups from our childhoods. The things your parents taught you, the way, you used that information and the way you felt about situations make you, who you are.

       We don’t control many factors for sure like who we are born to, who we end up being raised by, or how they really influence us in life, with what they do to us or for us when raising us, do we?. Sadly it is true what I am saying. but once we are out from under the protection rainbow of those who did raise us, what we do next makes us who we are today or each day.

         Life after all is a process of learning, developing, growing and changing, and as we get older we tend to use what we learned when younger to make our lives better. We try to avoid the mistake of our elders, we learned from our elders knowledge and how to react to things. Which makes us all the individuals we are today!

       So, as the New Year now begins its approach slowly and over the final week or so, I think many need to sit back, and refresh their memories of the ones who raised them, taught them and influenced them, and made them who they are today. For me, the greatest influences I had were not always in my family, but from my friends I grew close to over the years, growing up.

       I stop and would Thank, my mother for my birth and the care she gave to all of us, raising us. My Step-father who took on two kids not his own and three of his own and did the best he could. I didn’t always agree with all of their methods or styles, but we survived and got to adulthood.

        The outside influences in my life were many growing up, I had surrogate parents in many places, in Ms. Johnson, Ms. Dudonis, Ms. Geer. I had friends who stood by me and still do today, I love them all.

          My Sister and I have always been close and always will I love her more than the world. My First wife I respect for the years she loved and helped me survive. As I helped her, and I respected her decision to end it all. My Daughters by her were the greatest gift to both of us and they now know that too.

          I learned so many things through relationships with girlfriends, lovers, and in the end military life, I pride myself on my social abilities when i use them these days.  So as 2011, slowly closes and 2012 is what I look forward to, I hope for the best and to see my life through.

         I have now out lived the life span of my real father, who died at my age of 55 currently. I shall turn 56 if I make it in January. My mother rest her soul died at 59 as did my step-father, one day and a year apart in 90 and 91. The years have slowly slipped by and my second wife is with me always to this day, I met her in 93.

         So, I want all to stop and think back at those who raised you, influenced you, helped you and developed you and think fondly of it all, for they are what make us all who we are each day. Have a warm and Happy New Year all.