Six day till Christmas of 2010, a time I thought I would never see of course but here I be. I remember when younger thinking to myself I would never make it past 40 years old, but here I be now a little over a month away from 55. But now I face what can happen next with a smile on my face and a heart beating well in my chest. Whether life will continue for me for how much longer is a mystery that’s for sure, but I keep going on.
I once wondered about heredity and genetics and whether or not one can out live their parents or grandparents. Well, now I am at the stage of finding out that is for sure. My Father died when he was 55 in 1986, but cancer took him and I really did not know him well, mom divorced him when I was 9 months old. I did meet him more then once and found he was a normal man who was dominated by my mom like most men in her life were.
My mom died at 59 years old in 1991, also a victim of cancer, as my step-father who raised me died in 1990 of the same. My Grandfather on mom’s side died of pancreatic cancer in 71 and my my moms, mom of heart attack in 64. The eldest one of the bunch family wise was always my grandfather on my mother’s side, he went to 71, but now my mother’s sister has passed that mark and is now 72 and still here. So the real question is how far can I or my elder brother go who is two years older then I? We are sure to find out now.
I have though many times about dying, and what I would leave behind, and as I look back I think only of the good, because for me there was very little bad. I had it tough as a little guy, I had a Mother who was not very loving, and I don’t remember hugs or kisses from her, I had a Step-father who beat us on a whim or an emotional need or on instruction from my mom. My older brother escaped through sports and I ended up the one home taking care of my siblings even though I was supposed to be the emotionally unstable one. Then as I aged and escaped in my own way, I went on to serving my country in three different branches. I did a brief stint in the U.S. Army, then a stint in the Connecticut Army National Guard before transferring in the U.S. Navy. Growing up a little more in each case it seems. But always trying to fulfill hopes and dreams and stay alive, survival was always my purpose it seems. I survived just fine, ending up married and having two daughters of my own. But that marriage ended in divorce, but not one I can blame myself for at all, but what’s one to say.
Then I moved on again to come home, and watch my parents die as I went through my divorce, surviving again a scare of imprisonment for a crime I did not commit, but I was ultimately saved by a Prosecuting Attorney who caught my ex-wife in her lies. It took time to recover from that but I did. Remarrying and carrying on. I have help others when I was a kid and as an adult to avoid trouble and problems in many ways, but never received the same in return, but I never complain I just do.
In 6 days Christmas will be upon us once more, it will be a time to check your blessings and be with family and friends once more. A time to smile and laugh, and hug and hold, a time when no matter your age you don’t feel old. Giving is what the season and holiday is all about, oh how long ago did I figure that one out!. The best thing in life is to make someone smile, and laugh and make them happy, I know, I Know I sound a little sappy. But as you stand around your Christmas Tree, remember those who made our country free. Don’t forget the Veterans and those serving today, for without their dedication, work and service we wouldn’t be free is what I say.
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