■Loneliness


  • Loneliness
  • By: William McCurrach 
    Loneliness comes in many forms for many different people,
    Some get so lonely and think of ending it all,
    Then, they stop to think, is it all worth it,
    But don’t ask anyone else, because the reply,
    Will bring a tear,
    And that in and of itself; is a scare.

 
Many times the solitude and quiet can get to the mind,
It can make one think, they have no hope,
It can make one feel stupid and like a dope.

 
So when you think it is not all worth living,
And you are so depressed,
And you get tired of always giving,
Don’t give up; remember always, that someone,
Somewhere out there,
Does care, so pull your self up, stand proud,
Join the world, join humanity and the crowd.

Will America ever Learn?


      Noticing the political landscape of America at times is silly unless you are a candidate for office right? Well, sometimes that is true, and may be vital to their plans to get elected to the Presidency, but this year 2011 and into next I think the Candidates on both sides need to wake up. This is not the game you people really think you are playing where you go for people in your own party and that is it. Voting is now complicated and so is figuring the outcome  for each candidate.

       Some believe they need to target the Republican side and the conservatives, others believe they must go for the liberals and Democrats, I disagree with all of that. First and foremost, the candidates need to wake up to reality in America. The one fact they keep forgetting will be the one that will lose them the race, the part of our population that counts most, the Independents. Silently the independents watch the debates and newspapers and listen to news reports. We see the foolish acts these candidates keep pulling and wonder what they hell they are in the race for?

       Independent will determine who the next President is, whether Obama will get a second term or not. The independents are made up of the part of the population, all candidates are forgetting right now, the baby boomers. We baby boomers are older, smarter and number in the millions if not billion range when we go to the polls. So go ahead candidates forget us, attack our Social Security and Medicaid, try to cut them, and you will cut the knees off your own campaigns.  Todays elderly, of the age 50 and over is yesterdays baby boomers results, we are now growing older, smarter and stronger in numbers and will control elections in the end. Take a look candidates at the numbers in America, of citizens over 50, and you will see. We are here in great numbers and silently we go to the polls on election day, do you want our votes?

The over 50 population in America is the forgotten one today. So you candidates rant and rave on how you will cut the budget by cutting Medicaid and Social Security, wrong we paid into it, we want out benefits. Be careful, you won’t win going there.  You want to win, secure and make both Social Security and Medicaid financially solvent and keep them working. Many Americans over 50 today in America are dependent on Social Security / Social Security Disability and Medicaid, don’t take it from those  of us that need it now.

      I tire of politicians who think the only way of cleaning up the financial debt America has is to cut benefits to the elderly or ill and dependent, wrong. I will give you a solution to the debt crisis in America if you want one, listen up.

  1) Stop giving aid to people who don’t give a shit about America

  2) Stop policing other countries and fighting their wars.

    3) Bring home our troops, our weapons and equipment and spend those funds on stopping homelessness and hunger here in America.

 I think America hasn’t learned many lessons over the decades and centuries we have been here. We need to learn to mind our own business, take care of our people and country first before we help anyone else. We have  policed and fought other countries wars now for a long damn time. We went into Korea to defend one half of her people from the other, wasted money, equipment and men and women for what to end up trapped in the DMZ and to accomplish nothing. We then waited a little bit and said oh let’s try this policing thing again and stepped into Vietnam like idiots and did it all over again. America can not police  other countries and fight their wars. These people we jump in to defend to police for and help, don’t give one damn about us.

       Now we got ourselves in predicaments we don’t belong in Iraq, Afghanistan and now Iran is acting up. We are not the police force, of the world we are not the protector of the world, nor are we responsible for how these countries and their people try to kill themselves. When will America learn?

        As some of our troops come home this Holiday Season in time to be with families, we should look once more at what we are doing and back up and say no more. No more defending someone else’s values and beliefs, no more fighting someone elses wars and policing their countries. We led the world for so long, now the world is ahead of us, and we suffer each time we reach out, stop reaching, please. If you think I am wrong here, stop and think of this, America has lost its Triple AAA rating for credit, we have dropped now to the tenth best economy in the world, our job markets are empty and people walk our streets holding signs ” Will Work for Food” , “Homeless”. They live in cardboard boxes, lose their homes and beg for food in many states and areas in the USA. It is time we stopped helping others and helped our own.  

Republican Dreams


      The Republican Party is not getting ready yet to Nominate a Candidate to oppose Barack Obama, but the way this Republican Race is shaping up, not a one of these people could win!.

       Eight Republicans and not one is smart enough to realize they can’t get their own parties nomination, why is that? The way it is going, by the time they get a nominee, people will be laughing so loud it will be over.

     The front-runners who have led the race for the Republican Nomination are silly and not silly candidates at all. Bachman was the first leader of this gang, and she lasted for a short time. She is not Presidential material and she knows it, she is no Hillary Clinton, or even Condy Rice. Yet she intends to waste money and time in an effort just to be heard on a National Stage.

       Then came Herman Cain, He sounded strong conservative, smart and as a businessman had somethings going for him. Then and still comes the accusations of sexual misbehavior, harassment and ultimately now, infidelity. Does Herman Cain really believe he can do what Bill Clinton did and get away with it? I doubt it, Clinton at least had more leadership skills and the Democratic Liberal backing, Cain does not have any of that so far from his own party. As soon as all started to come out on Herman Cain’s sex life and personal life as it is, the Republican Party started backing away from him and it didn’t take them 9 hours, 9 days or 9 months lol.

     Now here comes Newt Gingrich for President.  This man has more baggage than Bachman and Cain combined yet, he is now the front-runner? What the hell is wrong with Republicans these days, have you all been drinking or smoking pot? Gingrich is a man with experience yes, but his experience is not right for America, nor is he capable of leading us to a better economy or back to a world leader position in affairs and might. Some of his ideas are outrageous and foolish just as were Bachman’s and Cain’s.

       What I don’t understand is why  the Republican Party will not just support Romney for President. He looks Presidential, he acts it and his ideas are not too conservative or crazy. Yet because Mr. Romney is a Mormon, they won’t back him? What else is there?  Romney stays steady, speaks clearly and can debate, but is he capable of beating Obama is the real question, the answer is probably no, but close.

      Who is gonna be the next leader in the polls for the Republican Nomination for President? Well, it could turn out to be Ron Paul, but again, Mr. Paul comes up as the most liberal sounding Republican in history half the time. Is Mr. Paul capable of chasing down Obama and beating him, I seriously doubt this. Radical and raw are what I call Mr. Paul and at times he sounds like he rants and raves as bad as my blogs. So what is the Republican Party to do?

      If the Republican Party wishes to seriously compete and have a chance at the 2012 Presidential Election, and win, they need to immediately start to slim down their field  to a reasonable number like two or three. Which ones do you pick then right, well I wish I could say, but I can’t. I do know from a voters view-point, too many horses in a race makes for a clogged field of dreams!.

 

       

Haunted Past


An old song said it best; Life so they say, is but a game and they let it slip away!. Don’t let this happen to you, live life to the fullest and enjoy it all, for you only go around once.

I say this because I know people who are haunted by past events and occurrences in their lives, and one of them is me. With me is lack of love and physical violence that wakes me nightly with recurring nightmares of pokers from fireplaces coming down on me, and large hands that felt like granite and stone yanking me from bed and pummeling me till I cried and slamming me back in bed. Then the voices of the fighting, yelling, plates flying and breaking on walls. Didn’t they know, their children live and hear it all?

I wonder why they never stopped, I wondered why I really did, wouldn’t you?. The screaming would start, the throwing, ranting and fighting went on, yet they stayed married for oh so long. Why? I know if i were married to someone and my life was this bad, I would have left shortly after it started, but they didn’t.

Our parents raised five of us kids, during the 1960s and 1970s. Four boys and one girl. The four boys, turned out all different and we all were affected by this act of our parents in different ways. The eldest boy turned out to be an introvert, intelligent but,he is obnoxious, arrogant, rude and treats people like they are lower than him. The second son, never got hugged, never got kissed, got beat and then made to take care of the rest as the older one played ball to escape. The third son, well he was actually a good kid under it all untill he was beaten badly for lying, stealing and more. He ended up a drug addict and died far from home, hiding from the mental and physical pain he received.

By the time the daughter arrived things mellowed a bit and she got the best of all of it. She got a new room, a new bedroom set, and never once was hit or beaten. And mom even ended up conversing with her some. Yet in the end the daughter was ignored by the mother and given not a thing, at the mother’s death, even though the daughter cared for her as she died.

The final son, well by the time he arrived and started to grow there was no one left to grow up with. He wasn’t beaten because he was the last, he was given anything he wanted within reason.  He stayed until his father’s end. He is a bit of an introvert and fears everyone wants to take everything from him. Sadly, his accusations, falsely accusing his siblings have driven him from his family. This was life in the house we grew up in, sadly, yet we all survived it in one way or another. How? Don’t ask it is a miracle really.

Recently, I took a drive to the cemetary, where my sister and I paid to have our parents buried together, after they died one year and a day apart of cancer. As I stood there, looking down on their grave stone, and the winds of October blew by, I only stared and asked one question, why? Why did they do what they did with us, we were their kids, their children, why did they treat us and themselves so badly?. I guess in the end I shall never know and neither will my siblings. Today, only four of us survive, the eldest lives states away and has a wife to keep him, he can say. He has no contact with anyone, cause no one can take him for real. I have my sister and she has me, we love one another and we live free. The youngest that survived and lives, does so alone and we never see him these days. So like the grass and sands of the cemetary’s grounds as the winds blow on a an October day, we are scattered and lost because of our parents ways. I hope no one else ever grows up or lives this way.

 

Dreams Don’t go Away!


Dreams Don’t Go Away

By: William M. McCurrach

 

I dreamed of peace. I dreamed of joy, I dreamed of things like all little girls and boys.

I dreamed of  love, I dreamed of caring, I dreamed of a family full of sharing.

I dream of all that could be, why couldn’t my dreams come true for me?

 

My Dreams were like every other child’s,

A World of fun, love and things so wild,

I did not dream of what happened to me,

I did not pick my mommy and daddy!

 

I did not ask to be brought into this world,

Any more than any other boy or girl!

 

I did not dream of living in fear,

I did not dream of siblings, who would not share,

Or,  a mother and father who had no care.

 

I did not ask for the beatings I got,

I did not ask to be hurt and threatened to be shot.

 

I did not ask for the memories I got,

Where I wake up running and sweaty from who knows what!

I dreamed of peace, I dreamed of joy,

I dreamed because I was a little boy.

 

The years of dreaming have gone by,

But I still feel the pain and see the beatings in my mind’s eye.

I see the poker coming down on my head,

His big hands, grabbing me, and pulling me from my bed.

I wake up sweaty, my body trembles, my mind races to survive,

My dreams you see were real for me,

Back when they were alive.

 

So, as you raise your children today, think of the pain of my memories and how they won’t go away!.

Please treat your children better is all I can say!.

 

Rusty- The Beagle Problem


Rusty

The Beagle Problem

                                              By William M. McCurrach

 

Back when you’re a child, and you’re lonely, a parent might get you a pet, well I was given a beagle, cute little guy when he came to me. My step-father brought him home one day I don’t remember his name or what exactly I called that beagle but, I grew attached to him over time. I named him Rusty.

Well, dad may have given me that puppy but he definitely wasn’t in love with him, like I was. Dad fed the dog of course and let me keep him as long as I walked him. It was me and my little beagle against everyone and everything, until the poor dog messed up and caused dad a problem.

It was a day we were going fishing, and dad loaded the fishing poles and equipment in the trunk and then the cooler filled with cold drinks and snacks. He smiled at me and said let’s go fishing! Of course I wanted to go and jumped in the car, taking my beagle along. Dad looked and smiled, and said I hope he behaves, the dog he meant of course, not me.

Dad had a problem with my beagle, he didn’t like the fact the dog liked to dig. My beagle dug holes in the back yard and dad had to fix them. He wasn’t happy about that one for sure.

We drove to that lake to fish in dad’s Cadillac, bright yellow with green cloth interior and in great shape. As, we drove along, my beagle, started to scratch at the backseat, and dad told the dog no, in a harsh tone. The dog never understood of course and thought it was playing, dad didn’t take it that way when we got to the lake.

When we arrived at the lake, I got out of the car with my beagle and waited on dad to unload everything we needed of course, I was still young. Dad unloaded the cooler and snacks, and set them down, then the fishing poles and tackle box and bait. Then as I watched, dad, unload a piece of chain, duct tape and an item that looked like a lead doughnut. I was puzzled, what that was for? Dad looked at my beagle and then at his backseat of his Cadillac, and his face changed to anger. He looked at the dog, then at the seat and back and forth he went, dad was mad, the beagle had dug a hole in his backseat. That was it for my poor beagle.

Dad turned and grabbed my beagle by the back of its neck and held him high helpless. The poor dog yelped and cried but, that didn’t bother dad, the dog ruined his Cadillac.

I watched in terror as dad, took the duct tape and taped my beagles mouth shut, and then taped his front paws together and his back ones too. Then he looked at me and said damn dog will never ruin another thing for me. He reached out and grabbed the chain and weight and wrapped the chain around my beagle, the next thing I know, my beagle was heaved by him into the lake. I watched as my beagle struggled against the weight, but he never came back up, just bubbles. Dad had solved the problem of the beagle, it was his solution. The dog ripped his seat up and that was the end of it. Dad said, well the hell with that dog!  Never again did I have a dog or pet, and if I ever thought of one, my mind would replay dad’s solution to his torn seat by my beagle and I forgot any thoughts of having a pet. As Dad put it damn dog gave me a problem so I got rid of it. Sadly, he never mentioned it again, and I knew then, my dad was a cold hard bastard.

Dad’s way of handling things was through violence and threats. Because when I spoke up, asked him about my beagle and why he did it, dad, didn’t explain a thing, but he did get angry at me. What he said was, I pay for you to eat, sleep, drink, dress and go to school, and if you think I am going to let you ruin my life, well, I will shoot you and bury you in the backyard and it won’t affect me one bit.

Because of my beagle, Rusty and how dad handled it earlier, and what he said to me after, when I was a grown man and dad was dying, I refused to go anywhere with him. I didn’t want to be anywhere near, never mind alone with him due to his cold ways.

Family Traditions


  Family traditions seem to hang with people for many years after their parents are gone. Ever notice how, if a mother screamed and ranted and raved, their daughters do too. Ever notice how if one parent or the other beat their children for whatever reason, that child tends to too, to their own children. These are endless cycles in lives and families that keep repeating, sad as it may seem, it looks and acts like it is hereditary or genetic right, wrong!. It can be overcome and to do so is not easy. It takes a  concentrated effort on the survivors part to not make the same errors the parents before did.

       The second thing is mankind and medicine and knowledge is expanded concerning these things and errors humans make. We have learned that 1) If you are repeating your parents traditions and mistakes someone will say something to you. 2) Once they are brought to your attention you can seek mental help to prevent the next generation, which is your own children from carrying it forward. 3) The biggest thing to do is to realize what is being done and stop doing it yourself, for mankind is a creature of habits, and we are what we are taught. Yet everything we are taught is not socially, and humanly normal in society and the world. For all human beings have faults no one is perfect and never will be.

      Holiday times are a good time to talk and converse with people regarding traditions. Some have religious traditions of attending churches for holidays, some have traditions of going to families and friends, and others host on Holidays. Then there are the few who have a totally different version in mind for the Holidays, like Peace and Quiet, they prefer being alone and are happy that way. So, individuals choose how they celebrate, families set traditions and societies make traditions. It’s all a matter of what one feels is right for themselves.

Traditions also extend to how families are buried upon death. Many have bought burial plots side by side and are laid to rest that way. Many are cremated to save money of course and buried that way. Other get cremated and spread across places they love and some end up partly broken apart by families in Urns. Sadly once you are gone the tradition you choose is no longer yours to say or do, if you didn’t write it down somehow.

      Families have traditions of pets, homes, cars, games and sports. They have traditions of marriages that last decades and years or short periods. It is funny how if you look at families with high rates of divorce or separations between parents, how the same happens to their children too. Hand-me downs come in more than clothes ,ladies and gentlemen they come in mental actions and reactions too. We pass on our faults because our children learn from us and do as we do, not because we purposely hand it down, it is unintended but happens.

So as our Holiday Season of giving and receiving begins and people fight for positions in lines and shop for things to give, remember the examples we set for our children and grandchildren will be carried on in family traditions, so try to make them pleasant and nice.

 

    

       

Black Friday-Rushes/Injuries


      Ladies and Gentlemen, Black Friday now starts on Thanksgiving night and people line up to race and fight, for items put on sale for a short time, the facts that the stores do it, should be a crime. People line up around the store building all in a row, waiting for security and police officer to say it’s ok to go. They stampede one another to grab certain things and give no care of who they hurt as items fly and fling!.

        This year Black Friday brought out people who cut lines. fought with others for positions in malls and stores lines, and some in each side of our great and grand nation, who even decided to bring pepper spray and spray their fellow customers and human beings to get the items first!. Why must people go to these lengths to hurt each other over items that will come back to the stores shortly after the Black Friday Sales end, beats me. I don’t go to stores on Black Friday Weekend just because of these things happening.

      Black Friday started the Christmas Season along with ending Thanksgiving day, talk about commercialization of American Holidays!. The Christmas rush now starts Thanksgiving night before Thanksgiving ends silly huh. People first fill themselves with food and place all the dirty dishes in their sinks, and rush to a store to start Christmas Shopping and fighting with each other to buy presents. Sad isn’t, how greed to save a few bucks causes man and woman to attack one another over an item that is only a few bucks cheaper them it would be regularly?

      The Television news channels are full of people who decided I will take pepper spray with me and spray anyone who stops me from getting what I want, first. Sadly people were injured,tasered, and pepper sprayed so Americans can attempt to save a few bucks on toys and such. Wake up people, you may have to pay a few bucks more later, but at least no one gets hospitalized or injured. It’s a  sad statement on America, when grown adults go to sales at stores and actually attack one another, but it’s a sadder statement on the American people when they bring weapons and assault one another over it all. The American legal system needs to get involved and do something to calm this scene down and control this. And State, Cities and Federal laws need to be corrected or created to prevent this kind of damage to people over sales.

Personally I believe to read the stories of what happened at the start of Black Friday, on Thanksgiving Night, where customers acted like animals and fought each other to save a few bucks, reflects badly on the American people and society as a whole. This is the land of the free, then land for all, but it is not a land where you should do as you please to get what you want. Wake up, Folks!.

 

 

Holidays,Family/ Politics


Holidays are meant to be peaceful, with children laughing, parents talking and family and friends. But as we all know this is not true for all in the world and the way the world is going this can indeed be a rare occurrence for many families. Arguments, fights and more are traditions in some homes for the holidays as weird as that sounds. People love to gather around and argue politics, religion,books, films, history and in their own way to them it is fun. For others arguing in any manner on a holiday is just plain wrong, but you can’t change what is ingrained into a family no matter what, for you are indeed what you are taught. It take a conscious effort on people’s parts to change their ways, to fully understand one another and make it all work.

       Yesterday, Thanksgiving 2011, brought together families who watched football, or cooked together and many who ate together and socialized. That is what the holiday is meant to be. Most families on such a holiday will go out of their way to make ends meet and make it right for family and loved ones.

         Traditions are hard to break as it is also hard to change someone. You can’t force change, but you can guide it, you can teach it and make people believe and know it is the way to go.Leaders of Nations, movements,organizations and businesses, make changes as needed for financial reasons, operating reasons, or because of poor employees. America is built on change, advancements, and the need to socialize in my eyes. Again though I am just one opinion among billions in the world.

Here is the vital question after a Holiday such as America’s Thanksgiving, where so many gave thanks for what they have, Are we really able to accept where we are politically, financially and stability wise here in America? And is there a peaceful way to make the changes necessary to bring back our jobs, our homes, and more? Is there a peaceful way to get our politicians in Washington, we voted in, to get off their asses and help the American People instead of deadlocking the system and going no- where? We need to find it if we can, for each day America goes further and further down the tubes.