Among the many things I have heard lately on television and in news reports, are the new reports of bullies beating on other children in schools and in life in general. By no way do I condone nor accept such behavior out of any child and if you are bullied you should indeed walk away and call for help. The question though is why do these children bully others, what causes them to do so?
The answer lies within the bully not the child being bullied. The bully is the one with the emotional problems, the non-acceptance problems, the I don’t belong problems. The bully is actually attacking those they feel they can dominate and scare and strike fear into, only to make themselves feel more powerful, and superior in every way, because they are ignored at home or else where in their own lives and this is a cry out for attention. Yes the bullied child gets hurt too and damaged, but it is actually the bullying child who is damaged worse. It all starts at home in their own families and grows from there.
Beyond bullying, and bullied children lies a hidden element and problem and many of those are today misdiagnosed and led the wrong way. The children who are born with Attention Deficit Disorder and Hyper-Activity. These children are often labeled as bullies, or the bullied, or as emotionally unstable or mentally damaged when they are not. They see and hear things at a different speed then normal society, they react quicker at times and they seem anti-social when they really aren’t. They may attack a sibling, they may argue endlessly on a subject or even a simple rule. Some can not sit still, they need to constantly move, while others may sit still and not respond at all. Both ends of the equation are apparent with children born with ADDHA. I know because I am one of them who survived it without pills. I was one of the few who came thru my ADDHA years without Ritalin or any other drug being in my body or brain, because I was misdiagnosed as a child of the 1960s as an emotionally unstable child. They were wrong and I know it as do the Doctors I see today for other reasons. So Parents be very careful how you have your child diagnosed and by whom and please get the right Doctors to see them.
A diagnoses of ADDHA is not the end of the world for any child or person and it can be overcome by counseling, therapy and if needed as a last resort medication. The sad part is too many today are medicated and tossed aside and made into bigger problems then they really are. Just because a child acts out in rage, or anger or in silly ways or violence does not make them ADDHA children, nor does it make them emotionally unstable children. Sometime a child in the shape of having ADDHA can actually go in the opposite direction and be a depressed personality. So be very careful and get many opinions before you label any child.
Like depression, ADDHA can be and usually is transferred or handed down through generations although many Doctors may tell you no, I am telling you yes because it happened with me, and my children. It is indeed a problem well-known and not diagnosed properly all the time. Depression in a child of ADDHA can lead to thoughts of violence, happiness, belonging such as attaching themselves to another for safety reasons also. It is all a matter of the stages of the disease and the position of the child and situation they are in. Many times while you are still trying to figure out a child with ADDHA they are so many steps ahead of you it is crazy and of course they are on to something else. They work at faster rates mentally then normal children, the chances they will out grow it is probably higher than expected in most of them and they adjust to handle it on their own, The few who do not, do end up medicated and cared for by families and Doctors. It is not a death sentence to be ADDHA, it is a condition that can be handled, and grown out of and few people know that. So, just because someone is different then you and they work at a faster or slower basis mentally or emotionally do not judge them crazy, emotionally unstable or damaged, look twice and see what it really is.
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