I wrote a little story I called Ivan Ratoski recently. I will post it here for anyone who reads my blog. I did turn it into a small Kindle Book for sale for .99 cents a copy. I know it will more than likely not sell, but it was fun making it up is all.
Ivan Ratoski
1
Below the streets of New York City, run the sewers, filled with the waste of humans, who rule the city. In one hub of the sewers the central hub, is a being no one knows or has seen. He lives in silence and hunts for food daily through the sewers and byways under the city. How he came to be here is a story in and of it, Ivan is not a human being, he is a rat, but an intelligent one, who tries to accept he is a rat, and works to build his own little empire of rats. The rats obey him and they listen when Ivan speaks in rat language, that they can understand, he tells then how to scavenge for food, where to hide, how to survive and knows the system of sewers like the back of his hand. Ivan is like a King of Rats, for he is the only intelligent one in the sewers. How did Ivan, get intelligent what happened to him and when?
Ivan was born in the winter, and his parents lived under a tower in the sewer beneath the Trump Towers. One day, as his parents were mating, a flush found its way to them, and it was full of human make sperm, barely alive and flushed with the waste. It hit his parents at the exact moment Ivan was conceived and comingled with the rat DNA that makes up Ivan. From the moment of his birth Ivan was different period, although he or his parents or any other rat never understood why. As Ivan grew he leaned faster, than all the rest of the rats, survived better by instincts not usually in rats. He then began thinking at a faster rate than any rat ever could before. He earned the byways of the sewers, and the other rats just naturally flocked to follow him.
Ivan was a superior rat in all ways, brain function, prowess, and his retaining of events and memory for a rat was unbelievable. Ivan led his fellow rats to the center hub and made them a home there in his own way, each rat would forage for themselves of course and take chances of being caught and killed or poisoned, but Ivan led on anyway. He seemed capable of avoiding the normal traps and fall and fails of the rat race. He looked before moving and he never ran in panic. Ivan was living a life no rat knew, for he had more food and a home of his own. Any fights between Ivan and other rats, he won period because he was faster and stronger and smarter, the other rats had instincts of rats, Ivan had those of a human being. It was like Ivan was a human being trapped in rat form.
2
Ivan grew fast and by nature and animal instinct alone he became the leader of the packs under the city, and with his additional human instincts built in, he found he could leave the sewers and roam the city and do as he pleased, he learned to avoid poisons and traps also. He smelled first and examined before he ate anything, and he taught his fellow rats to do the same in his pack. His pack grew in numbers, and of course, they all followed the smartest and biggest by nature.
Ivan and his packs would scour the city by sewer routes, finding the Chinese and other restaurants, they favored for food and avoiding humans was a second nature to Ivan. The rats scurried behind him as heled them to meal after meal. Ivan knew he was the head rat, I was in a restaurant in New York City one day, when I noticed the rats scurrying with purpose and all following this rat who was bigger and leading the way. I wondered how the rat got that big, and that smart to avoid all traps and poisons and so much more it was doing. I studied it and followed it and Ivan which is the nickname I gave him, always acted with purpose. I was surprised as I started to follow this big rat and his packs when they showed up in New York. Ivan as I saw him was one smart and tricky rat, very careful in all he did with his pack. So, this rat caught my attention, and I began to follow and record its activities and routes, and try to find out where he came from and how. I couldn’t believe it but I was now myself a rat investigator and studier of this rat. Ivan was indeed unusual and different as a rat, and I wanted to know why, which is why I followed him, investigated him and tried to find out why!
One day as I saw this rat I called Ivan, he was leading his pack of rats, again a cat in an alley. The cat was outnumbered by dozens of these rats as Ivan squealed out what looked like directions to his pack the cat, was trapped and helpless as the rats bit it from each side when he turned they got him from the back or side and then backed off. Ivan watched and joined in as needed to help and after about five minutes the cat had enough and jumped up on a fire escape and ran away into the night. When the cat leaped the rats fell into a loose line and followed the leader, right back into the nearest sewer grate and disappeared and Ivan as I called him led the way of course. Amazingly, I noticed how all the rats in the pack followed him straight into that sewer and never once did any of them wander off or hesitate. This rat Ivan as I called him proved himself very smart for any rat and quite a leader of the pack. But how did he get so damn smart and such a great leader? I kept watching and every now and then, over the next thirty days, I watched Ivan and his pack when I saw them, each time it was clear which rat was leading.
I set out of course after witnessing Ivan in action, to try to catch this rat I called Ivan, I set traps for him, and it seems he avoided them each time, I did. He grew bigger and smarter and although he looked like a rat in all ways he was bigger and smarter than all of them. So I decided to track him down and try to find where he actually stayed and how and why? I gathered special equipment and lights, and protective equipment and found the main sewer grate Ivan led his pack to each time he escaped leading them. I was about to enter the maze of sewers that only rats go into, and all to find out about this one great, smart, big rat, I was curious of course, but, I had never seen a rat that grew or acted like Ivan, they were usually mindless creates with no cares. In Ivan’s case he was so much more and I knew it Ivan as I named him, Ivan Ratoski why did I name him, well he seemed more intelligent than any other rat, was leader of his large pack and seemed to have a purpose. I wanted to find out what his purpose was for sure so I investigated and followed and mapped his movements on a map of New York’s City sewer system and did a three dimensional map also of where he appeared on the streets and buildings. What did I find out, well that is amazing.
3
Ivan it turns out was one smart rat, he found food and broke into buildings to eat what he wanted, pack and all. He avoided rat traps and poisons too, he also seemed to smell gun power and ammo from guns. Hi pack was amazing in following him everywhere. They followed him above as well as below ground, as I found out one day, when I went down in the sewers and spotting the large pack heading by where I entered. He was scurrying his whole pack to found then onto a mission of tearing down a structure in his way. They gnawed and gnawed at the structure’s key foundations over time each day, until finally it came crashing down, so Ivan could get up on it and reach for the food. It was amazing to watch as all these rats worked with one another till it worked. When the structure fell, Ivan immediately bounded up the lowest side and into it and started tossing food out for his pack. It was like he was big daddy of all rats. Each time I followed Ivan and his pack he seemed to have a different mission set for the pack, and they did it, by gnawing thru or around what they could until they gained entrance or brought it down to their level. How did Ivan know all he did was beyond my ability to consider, but he did, I knew then and there when I saw it all, that I would have to find a way to capture Ivan and then get blood samples from him and a DNA Sample to figure it all out. It would take scientific methods to trap Ivan, for he was one smart rat.
I hired exterminators first to try and trap him without killing him, glue traps, human traps and cages and he avoided all of them. They tried to entice him with food, but Ivan wouldn’t take the bait, he avoided it all and watched as members of his pack died in his place. He held back and let them try it. He seemed to know before he got caught.
One day, Ivan was scurrying around under Trump Tower in the sewers, and I was in the sewer watching again. Ivan then went thru the bottom of Trump Tower and into the structure I saw him enter. He didn’t come out for days, I know cause I put a small digital camera on record right there. When he did the time and date was recorded, I was amazed he had found the same opening to come back out, it was obvious he had a memory and ability no other rats ever had. He even seemed to recognize the camera and look at it each time he came and went. I was intrigued for sure; I wondered how a rat could be so smart and wanted badly to capture him for sure.
Finally I had a friend who I called and told about Ivan, he was a veterinarian and he understood animals well. He told me that. I may want to set up an electronic type trap for Ivan to capture him, to be triggered and closed when he wandered in, by an electric beam. I was sure this would work so I set it up, with his help under Trump Tower. Unbeknownst to Trump the owner of the Tower, he had no idea he had rats in his gilded gold tower, no one had seen them, so Ivan was avoiding people inside the building. I brought the fact to Donald Trump’s attention one day in the lobby of his tower; Mr. Trump said he would hire exterminators to rid the building of the infestation. I didn’t argue or say a thing more for Mr. trump believes he knows it all, plus I wanted to see how Ivan would avoid survive the attempt to kill his and his pack. I set cameras up and recorded the entries of Ivan and his pack of rats, time and time again as they came and went, and never once did any of the rats die, I could count them on the camera saves and frames. Always the same number of them. I was once again amazed, at Ivan’s ability to avoid all the dangers and to still do as he pleased in Trump Tower. Yes Trump Tower was infested with rats, just like his Presidential Administration would be. It was sad to see. SO how would I catch Ivan to see what made him different from all the other rats, well I had to devise a trap big enough and hidden enough so Ivan couldn’t see or realized what it was. I did this, by using a garbage can heavy caged wire mesh and a sliding gate to slam down behind him. I placed the trap in such a way as Ivan couldn’t avoid it in his path of travels. Steel will hold any animal and this trap was all steel, and operated by red laser beams, producers stationed in such a way that as soon as Ivan broke a beam in the trap it would immediately slam close. I had Ivan finally a week after I set it, I found him trapped in the cage one evening. And I didn’t want him dead I wanted samples so, I took DNA samples and blood work and then I let Ivan go again. I released him under Trump Tower in the sewers and Ivan ran off fast as hell and back into the Tower itself. Now I was interested in finding out what I could from my samples, so I left and went to a lab and turned them in for testing I would have to wait a good month for full results. I would be shocked by the results for sure, and amazed, how it had happened I had no real idea but it did. What was it, well I am not sure you would believe it barely could when I saw it.
4
The DNA Sample and blood work showed Ivan to be part human, a small part, but it was there. I stared at the data, and wondered how the hell a rat could be part human, was there a way it could be so. I talked to scientist, and some of the best animal doctor minds in the world, they all said one thing, there had to be a way, a human being’s sperm connected with the rat upon conception. The answer lays in the sewers of New York City, where the waste of humans flow freely and where Ivan was born. Human male sperm had Connecticut with a female rat under the city. Live male sperm had survived being flushed by a human male and hit at the precise moment of conception entering the female rat. Ivan was the result. Yes, New York City had millions of masturbating human males, and one of them had strong enough sperm it survive and created Ivan.
I was astounded and shocked and in disbelief, but it had happened. Ivan would survive for an unbelievable 5 years, in the sewers under Trump Tower and New York City, his remains would be found lying in the street outside Trump Tower, and of course no one paid one bit of attention. But I give you this, did Ivan mate and if so was his DNA passed on to his offspring, and if so how many brilliant, part human rats are roaming under New York City and under Trump Tower these days or in the Tower itself. You tell me folks! We do know one rat, in my opinion came out of Trump Tower and went to the White House don’t we? Hehehehe!
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