The days slowly tick by in life folks, which leads to years going by so fast your suddenly old and wondering how long you have left to live. Ever been there, I know I have and am still, each day is a wake up and wonder day for me. I wonder what I am still doing here, what my purpose is in my life currently, then I stop and remember my wife next to me in bed. 25 years we have together, and each day I still look at her sleeping when I wake up and stare and hope she is breathing still, before I leave the room. to start my day.
That’s how I start each day folks, my wife is a breast cancer victim whose cancer has spread to her bones, that was diagnosed in January or 2018. I know what the prognosis is yet he is a fighter and still with me and all I can do is take care of her each day the best I can. The prognosis according to all Doctors I have talked to is two to five years for a person with bone cancer, so each day, I try to remember time is growing short.
I do the dishes daily, cook daily, clean when needed as we go, I do the shopping and fix what ever breaks in the home we live in. She calls I come running worried about her each day, she goes to the bathroom and is in there too long I call for her to answer to be sure she is ok. Otherwise I will take the door down if I have to, to get to her. She is the love of my life for many reasons, but most of all because she is everything to me.
Living with a person who has cancer, is not as easy as many believe it to be, the medication cost alone can kill you. Prescriptions like what my wife takes cost 75,000 dollars a year folks and they are experimental to fight the cancer. Lucky us, we have a grant issued in her name and they cover those costs. The side effects are slim and livable to keep her going, other medications cost also, because she needs them for blood pressure, heart, and more. Thousands fly out the door each month and year, but I never complain, I would give my life for hers if I could.
We are closing in on her second anniversary, of her bone cancer diagnosis ,and she is still doing pretty well, but for how long well I am not sure and neither is she or her Doctors. We know the two to five year window is narrowing, at least I do, each day, when she gets up, I silently thank the gods.
Preparations had to be made, so we have discussed her wants for herself, he last wishes. We have a plot for her now next to her long lost son and I will join her next to her when I die too.The Living Trust is now in effect that will cover her death, cremation and burial. Thank God we did that much, thinking of others, like grandkids once we are gone was vital for us both. The House and property are paid off, no car bills exist and it’s the daily cost of living and surviving the is left for us. Each day I wait and wonder will she get up out of bed or not, but that is the life I live now, she is my wife and my life.
Cancer has been with me now in one form or another since I was young. My grandfather died of it first, then a girlfriend had it and survived many, many years, Then it hit my Father who died of it in 84, then my step-father in 90 and mom in 91. It didn’t stop folks it started on my wife in 2006, as breast cancer. And then it got a lobe and one third of my right lung too, but I am still here and doing ok. I just hope some people will give and Help The American Cancer Society and other organizations that are looking for cures find them. Give to The American Cancer Foundation folks, it helps, lets find a way to beat Cancer Please!.
Macattack56's Blog 