That my friends is life in a cup or tea.

I woke this AM at 5:30, and of course I stubled out of bed, like many of others, thankful at 68 years old, my eyes still open and my body still works. Like many before me, I have my bodily aches and pains and even mental angishes too. I have phyical aliments that would stop most I think, six herniated discs in my spine is a killer. Then, I add in what I grew up with, and I have adjusted to and no one sees, PTSD, Attention Deficiet Disorder, Hyper-Activity and Depression. from loes of people of I loved. IT’s been a roller coaster over the last 3 years and some months, since my wife passed, from cancer and I survived lung cancer also.

Yet, here I am at 68, when I thought I would have been dead and gone by now. Never figured on living past 40 years old due to all of it above, but here I am. Life changes over the periods of time we are alive folks. As little kids we are raised and taught what to do and not to do. Then we reach an age where we want to do what all the adults do, but can’t, we be too young right? Then we reach the age suddenly where puberty comes into affect and we notice the opposite gender and the race for, the settling down period begins. And we date, and at some point if we are lucky, we find a partner and create a relationship. We all wish for families of our own then, as we march down the wedding aisle and get married and have kids of our own.

Then, for some of us, we make it till our kids are grown and on their own. For others we end up divorced or never married. And suddenly after some years, we once again find ourselves alone due to the death or passing os the one we love. So we flounderm we run some of us, others of us handle it differently, and we isolate ourselves. In the end we come to realize, 1) We are still here, yet alone. 2) Life doesn’t stop because our partners died, it is still chugging along for us at a slower and more lonely pace, but it is. We grow tired of the loneliness, we end up watching others laugh and others enjoying life and we go why can’t I. Finally after, realizing, all of this, we go I need to live, like mankind is supposed to do. I can still have fun if I try, I can still interact with others if I wish and even if I can’t find a new partner to replace who I lost, I can still carryon and try. Life is a roller coaster folks, it has it’s ups and downs and spin arounds built into it for each of us. The question is not will it happen this way, only at what stage it will happen in our lives.

I have seen people in my life die at young ages, I have seen some go in many ways. Some drug related, some suicidal, some from cancer and more. We all see it and pray it does not happen to someone we love, but it does, and we pray also it doesn’t hit us, and for some of us it does that too. Who knows for sure what the eternal peace of death brings, no one knows what is on the other side, do we?

I sometimes reflect on my own life and wonder how I got this far. I than think of me wandering through the woods as a little boy exploring nature and more. Then I stop to think of my parents who raised me and all they did to keep me alive. Did I repay them enough for all they did, I think I did. I spent my youth, taking care of my younger siblings, helping dad rebuild a house they bought for cheap. never complained just did. I felt it was my place, to be there for my family. Of course we all grow up and as I did I slowly moved on, and helped friends in life too. When the economy went bad, jobs dried up, I couldn’t jump from job to job anymore, I joined the military. First the US Army, then the Army National Guard and finally the US Navy. That lasted for me for 16 years, but it brought me injuries, and I still carried on. I was married twice, first time 12 years, the second 28 till my wife passed. Two daughters, four grandchildren, two step grandchildren two, yet satisfaction is hard to find. Your children move on and have their own lives, you lose the money and time to see them and life still progresses on.

Then one day after your spouse and lover is gone, you wake up and realize time has moved on. Your alone, staring at the world and going once again, how do I fit in? We can’t change how it happens, we are dealt it you see, it is all fate and destiny. Some make bad decisions, and take their own lives, some do drugs and get involved in vice. In desperation mankind will do anything to try to survive and fit in to a society that can be at times cruel and evil. Most avoid it, but there will always be some who fall into it all and never recover or come out of it. We can’t change people, even if we love them, demons can be hidden inside mankind we can not see.

Now I sit back at 68 and reflect on what I have lived thru, and some would be amazed if they knew. yet, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors, of the human mind. So, I go on, and one each day, dealing with my own inner demons, emotions, feeling and thoughts, like many others around me do too. We just do and makeit work for ourselves and try to be kind to everyone else. It’s called life folks and dealing with it, we do so daily. So, I continue to waddle along, laughing, talking or even singing a song. Not everyone will like you, not everyone will want you around or near, but, you have every right just like them to be here. So we choose, who we talk to, we choose who we like, we make friends with some, and with others we fight. In the end as we go on, we come to realize, we don’t all look like a movie star and thats no surprise. we deal with who we are individually, and we gravitate to where we fit in eventually. That my friends is life in a cup or tea.