Challenges for Singles in 55+ Communities: A Guide

55 plus living communities, are great indeed for you are among people your age group, yet they also have their in and outs and problems too. What many do not get is the finances required to live in such a community, the maintenance needed to stay in one and the interactions with the other residents that can happen or not happen.

First lets discuss, the cost of living in 55 plus condos in a community. You have to pay your mortagage like owning a home, what that is, depends on what you put down and the rate of the loan you get, Second automatically you are hit with HOA fees, which will grow as the complex grows of course. Then you have your utilities and amenities of course on top. You need to track your bills and budget just like living anywhere else. It’s a matter of income vs output, really.

Then you have to be able to adjust to living close to other people, without becoming involved in their personal lives. It is fine to be polite, friendly, but be careful how far over the line you cross. We who live in such complexes are set in our ways, whether we are solos, divorcees, or widowers or widows. We do things the way we have always done, most of our lives, by force of habit. Plus you have to be able to adapt to other people, and be acceptable of the differences between you. You may not like a neighbor, but, you have to deal with them politely and without getting anyone angry at you.

I also noticed somethings in the community I am in myself here. The male to female ratio favors the female population. So, if your a single male in such a complex, you are a commodity that is hard to find within it. if your 55 plus community is like mine, the percentage of single women to single men is like 65 percent or better female. So, as a single man, one must not get involved with the single women in a romantic way, for if you do and make a mistake, well you get the idea. While I love women of all kinds, I also know, that women gossip, they talk among themselves and you make one mistake in any relationship that may start. you can end up an outcast and isolated from the community. which in the end can force you into a position of moving, unless you love isolation, and ignore all. Even if you do over time, you will feel not wanted, and probally move or sell the condo you purchased. while one as a single male must guard against this, you also come to realize it quickly, if not immedicately if you have a awareness of your surroundings. So, what does one do if you are in such a complex and situation, to survive?

Personally, I took the approach of not dating anyone in my community. I based it on the fact that, women gossip, they talk and they communicate their relationships more freely than men. They discuss their male friends, openly, among themselves, and if you as a single male say or do something wrong and it ends a relationship your in, it will spread among the community quickly. so, what does one do, if your still an eliable single male looking for companionship and a relationship? You end up doing online dating apps, or going to bars and taverns. Hoping to find one female who will fit your desires and needs and is friendly enough to get into a relationship with. I don’t drink so for me bars are out, never did believe in blowing my money in a bar or tavern and getting drunk. That leaves churches, and for me, I am non religious and not interested.

So if your like me, that leaves dating apps on the internet and better then half of the women on them use false pics, fake profiles. So to sit and pay a dating service online , can be a total waste of money and time on my part. You can’t find a match on these dating sites, because they will say anything they wish and they lie. So, in the end, your better off, staying to yopurself, protecting your heart and wallet if your a single male. Now, I know many women will say, oh I don’t know what I am talking about, or I didn’t give the apps a fair chance and not all are the same. I tried several apps, and found that the few women I dated, thru them, were not what they said they were on their profiles. I am not saying all were liars, but, each had some problems with men they were trying to overcome, trust issues, honesty issues, or they were seeking men to pay their ways in the world.

At one time in America, it was easier to find people to date on both sides of the gender gap. we used to go out, do things in public places, like bowling, roller skating, singles dances, etc. Today those have disappeared basically, and all is now online. Why, I shall never understand, what I have always believed and shall always believe if that if you are yourself, natural, have fun in life and what you do, the chance of you finding someone increases. Be you, folks, do what you love, live, laugh and enjoy each day. I always have believed, if you do that, people notice you, they talk to you, and you stand a chance of finding a relationship, a companion, a friend or a lover. If your a phoney person and fake, or a narsicist you lose out. Anyway I, divert from the 55 community factor somewhat, but the basic idea still is here. If your in the 55 plus age group and in a community like mine, you learn quickly to walk quietly, carefully and avoid the mistakes I have listed above. I have seen some cross the boundries of what I have outlined above and survive, but they are few and rare for sure. Some want to know why single men who are 55 and up do not approach women in the same age group, well here it is folks. we are just as scared of getting taken for money, or being used and abused as the women are too. In the end because of the way today’s society handles being a 55 plus person, and being single, we guard and protect ourselves in all ways too. We may be males, but we too are smart enough to say no, or to walk away, or not accept if we get abused, feel used, or taken for what we have. so, it goes both ways, doesn’t it? You Tell me!

My real question is this, what does a senior citizen whether male or female do to find a companion, or a relationship in today’s world and society? While we live longer in this day and age, we also, get divorced, or never married, or we end up widowers or widows, in the natural course of life. So, what to do, once you reach the over 55 age group or better? Or are we all destined to be alone. till we die?