Coping with Loss: Embracing Memories and Grief

August has arrived folks, and the summer of 2025 is quickly passing by, soon enough it will be fall and then winter once again. Time does not stop for anything as we all know, it barrells on ahead and we age as it does. One thing mankind does is adapt to each day, it’s climate, it’s passing, it’s heat or cold, or rain or snow so to say. I have said to many people, over my years, there are things that never change the passing of time is one, and the battle between Mother Nature and Father Time is indeed eternal. That is a love affair locked into place for eternity for sure.

Well, August to me, is a time to look forward to cooling temperatures, fairer climates and of course memories. I say this because it has always been the fall months where things change in my book. When I talk change, people come and go in our life’s folks and it seems fall is when most of that happens for me. I hate seeing old friends disappear or pass, I hate seeing the loss of people for any reason. But, I know at some point the same will happen for me and I am aware of it more each day that goes by. I think all of us, are in some way, even though we try our best to ignore it or push it aside.

I have had plenty of losses in my life and I must admit that some are more important that others of course, Friends may come and go, and even pass away, but no loss is greater than when one losses a loved one. We all lose our parents eventually as we all know, and that loss or losses as you may refer to them, is painful and devastating enough as it goes. Some lose children and that must be the a very devasating lose for sure. Yet, for me, the biggest loss in my life was my wife of 28 years, in August of 2021, on the 10th of that month. It devasated me, it brought me to my knees, and caused me to reevaluate myself and my life and what I did not wish to put up with anymore. I also had to learn to live alone once more, after 28 years of a great marriage.

Today, is August 2nd, 2025, on this date in 2021, I was hospicing my wife at home, with the help of my sister. It would be an experience that made me cry daily, plead for it to be over daily, and at the same time, hope it would not end. But, as we all know, the eventual time does come and we lose the one we loved the most. When it did, I was lost, I didn’t know what to do, where to turn or how to make it through it all. If it were not for my sister, I would have never made it.

I can remember the final thing I said to my wife and what she said in return. I bent over her in bed and kissed her forehead and told her I loved her. And at the time I didn’t think she could reply, but, she did saying she loved me in return. A few days later, I went in to check on her again, and I knew it was close to the end, and I could tell. I bent over her once more kissed her forehead and I told her to stop holding on, to let go, and go join her parents, grandparents and her son, who had passed before her. I knew she was suffering being unable to eat, drink or talk or move anymore, from the cancer that she had. I just wanted her to pass and be out of pain.

The hardest thing to do, once she passed was to call and report her death, to the authorities. The waiting for them to come and take her away was the hardest to do. I can clearly remember when they finally arrived, as I let them into our home, I told them, I couldn’t watch. I walked out into the driveway and around the side of the house and did not go back in till they were gone. She was gone, but, I could not look at her being taken away. I did not want her to go.

Now it will be four years since she passed on August 10th, soon. as I write this, I cry, because i miss her warmth, her kindness, her intelligence and her companionship. I miss having her to laugh with, to go out with, to even watch tv with. The trips, the outings, the silly things and the serious things we shared. I stop and think of all of it. The shows, the movies, the plays we went to, the dinners we cooked and served together. Our life was not perfect together, but, one thing I can honestly say, is, I miss her each night and day. I wish to God she was here today. yet, I have the 28 years of memories, that well up, when I am alone or I see a reminder of all of it out there. I remember, what she said to her daughter one day, when they were discussing me, before she couldn’t anymore. She looked at her daughter and told her, Bill will be ok, when I pass, why, because he is a realist, he accepts things as they are and deals with it all, in the proper way. Time has proven her correct, in many ways, and for that I shall always love her. I write this today, because I know, I will try to push through the next 8 days and make it pass as fast as I can. It for me is now the hardest time of my life each year. And writting is how I express my grief, my pain, my sorrow, my loss and sometimes my loves and joys too.

I thank God, for the day I met my Melinda and the dances we shared. The romance we shared and the love we had. she saved me, and I her. We did indeed live up to our Wedding Vows, They stated, we would marry to learn from one another and to grow together, we did it so, so well!