Holidays and Christmas is what many say a special time of the year. It is a time for caring and giving, laughter and living. It is a time to reflect and remember, to give and exchange. In many ways it makes us all change. For some it is pure happiness, it’s wondering and hoping for what we may get. For other sit’s the time you spend with family and friends, that makes it all worth while, year after year time and again.
For me it has never been the same, as when I wa syoung you see. For overtime and I age, certain things get to me. I do not like crowds or parties, Too many people bother me. I suffer from ADHD and PTSD too you see. Now I do not burden others with them or me, for thats not the way I am you see. So, I just go day by day and night by night, being me which just feels right.
Some think, he doesn’t attend, he doesn’t get involved. It’s his own fault, he is alone, and one his own. They are right, it’s what I choose. I choose it so, I shall not bring others down, I will never be a burden or a pain in the ass to those i am around. So, I avoid big time, and stay alone. I spend my time at home. For everyone, Holidays mean different things. I understand it and I am fine with it of course, but like Mr. Ed, I am a different kind, of horse. I feel safer and more relaxed alone, my ADHD does not kick in as much and my PTSD, stays under control. So, this is the way I choose to go.
So, let me say this to those who may know me, or of me. Do not feel sorry for me, or be concerned. I am fine an dbetter off this way, over years of it, I have learned. As a kid, I didn’t love the Holidays and I still do not today. Chaotic and crazy is what I call it. And I stopped doing Holidays of any kinds many years ago now. Even when my wife was alive, I stopped, for I could handle it no more, I would do it for her is all. Now she has been gone since 2021 and I have not celebrated Holidays since 2020. Instead, I stay alone with my memories of my mother and wife, both who were vital in my life. I would rather stay alone and live with the memories, then to be a burden, a pain, or a bother to any other. The peaceful silence of being alone, is good for my soul.
So, to all, I wish a Happy Holiday Season, A Very Merry Christmas of course! I hope when the New Year arrives, it bring all Good Luck and Happiness and Love too. 2026 is on it’s way, and I am getting older each day, as we all are you see. But, in the end, it’s each day, that counts more to me.
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