March 20th, 2026, the day starts early for me once more. I awaken from pain, in my right broken arm again. Since I broke it back in Febuary, sleep has been a problem. No position is comfortable for me, and my sleeping only goes at best 6 hours a nite at worse 3 or four. Yet, life goes on, and I do the best I can with it.
Physical Theraphy helps for a day, until it tightens backup again, over night and the next day is a painful one. Then it will start to release a bit overtime, unless i move it the wrong way by accident of course. Stretching, when I awaken is not good for me, for the arm will pop on me and the pain begins, and each time I do it on auto-pilot so to say, the pain lasts for a good 30 to 45 minutes before it starts to recede. So careful is indeed what one has to be. Very gingerly, is how I use the arm. I played pool with it now twice, the first time was fine, the second well it became sore on me and I had to stop. But, I have few things I like to do, these days at 70 years old, one is pool, the second was bowling. So, I figured pool is light weight and I would be fine. The only thing I have going for me, is, I have been through pain before, that was worse than this, six herniated discs in my spine from my Navy time. I deal with that daily since the injury in January 1982. So, tolerating pain has become something, I learned to do.
Anyway, next subject. The world is going to hell in a handbasket under the current President. Everything is costing more and the violence and wars have now doubled, in the world. I can’t change it I know, no one can now, but, somehow, it must stop for us to survive.When it stops is no longer up to me or you, folks, how many Americans must die in Iran, before it does? Time will tell, won’t it?
I was up once more early at 4:30 am today in pain, As I tried to walk off some pain and stretch the arm some, I think back on life and wonder sometimes, how I got here. By here I mean how the hell did I ever get to 70 going on 71? I never thought I would go by 40 to be honest, it is just the type of life I have lived. I am actually, surprised I survived my childhood, the way things went, but, I did. There are many things people don’t see or know when they see you as an adult. They do not know if your parents were kind or mean, or violent or not. They can not see the emotional bruising you suffered for you never show it. They can not see, the torments of watching parents fight with one another all the time, or flying silverware and dishes that were thrown. They do not see or know of any physical violence that happened either to you as a child, why, because as you grow up, you learn to hide it and escape it, on your own. I know I did.
When you reach an age where you can run and hide in anyway you can and still survive you do so. Until then, you are locked in that cycle that seems endless you see. Then, one day you finally grow up enough to go no more, and get away from it all. The scars emotionally, physically and mentally never go away folks, we live with them and we hide them well. So never judge, a book by it’s cover or a person by their looks, For they can look like Marilyn Monroe or Rock Hudson, and be the biggest mess inside that you can never fathom. It’s a fact folks.
So to the parents out there raising a child today, some advice, be positive with them, do not hit them or physically abuse them, and don’t constantly put them down. You destroy their chances in life by your negativity, your physical abuse and the emotionaly damage you do. Don’t do it, please! Show your child love, respect them, listen to them, help them, teach them, and guide them. Force, Pressure,Physical Violence or Emotional and Mental Violence kills, don’t do it please.
Anyway, as I have grown older, I have written many blogs here and poems and stories, short and long too. My short stories are not great, yet they sit out there online, as do my poems and these blogs. I do not write to make money, or to get famous either, for I never will. I write as a process of getting out what I need, to say in a way, few can. It is more of a relief valve situation for me, and it helps me. in someways. And when I put them online, I hope in someway, it will help others also to read them. NO I am not a Doctor, or expert of any kind, but, it is more of a mental process and emotional relief valve for me. If by circumstance, it helps someone else to help understand themselves or the world, I am grateful, if not, I am fine with it too. Life is a mystery says the old song, they do not know how right they were, do they?
I had numerous experiences in my life, that made me who I am, like everyone else. Each of us, have unigue experiences that make us who we are each day, we live. Climates, seasons, locations all add in, and then it is in the end the people in our lives that make us who we are. Our Parents, Siblings, and Friends we grew up with. The places we lived, the times and era we lived in all add to our make up of who we really are. Then, on the other hand, some still grow up and old and are predijuced or they discriminate against others. I don’t. I learned long ago as a five year old boy color, race, creed, nationality, ethinicity, mean nothing when it comes down to getting along in life. For we all breathe, we all laugh, we all cry, we all experience pain and suffering and we all have our moments of joy too. The color of our skin means nothing, we all live the exact same way day by day. Yet people get blinded or get stupid because of differences, it is why wars are fought, why killings happen too. It’s how we handle ourselves in life that makes us who we really are, is it not?
I like writting, I like reading, I love music as I said. The arts have always been special, I do drawings also, but I suck at real drawing, I play around for fun. There are many things that make each of us different in many ways, but under it all, are we not all the same. we want respect, we want caring, we want sharing, we want happiness and we want to live in peace, do we not? Yes we do and we all know it too. The scariest part of life, is acually living it, among others. people tend to force their way of life upon you many times, and you get lost in it and try to accept it and fit in, but, it doesn’t always work out. So, we adjust, we try to change to fit into a society we live in, among others. Some fit better than most, some on the average just are fine and some are not fitting at all. IT’s human nature to protect yourself from what one percieves as harm coming. so we hide, we shy away, and we stay alone. That is life for some, and not all, and for those who go through it, it isn’t easy, we struggle and we do the best we can is all.
As Elvis said, Don’t be Cruel, while I agree with that idea and thought, I also know, I live by another saying, in a Song called The Hard Way Everytime, by Jim Croce. I grew up in a world of and a time of some of the greatest music ever produced on earth. My Musical preferences run from Jazz, to Motown, From Rock to Country to Folk and yes even classical music. The music makes us sway and enjoy. It makes us think back over times we had good and bad. Music my friends, keeps some of us alive and prevents our end. For others it is a noise in the background, but for me it is a heartbeat that keeps people like me going.
Let me close this blog today, by, talking about 55 plus communities and how they affect some. I entered this community as a 65 year old , widower, alone and on my own after 28 years of marriage and the loss of my wife to cancer. I figured ok, I will be among people in my age group and I would be fine. It doesn’t always work out that way folks, sometimes, it goes along a different path then we seek. I came in smiling and happy and open to make new friends, and take chances to find someone new to spend time with. No, I did not come seeking love or a companion either. I came thinking this is a good place to live and it will be nice. It is not always so, for sure. We are not all the same, we do not all react the same, no matter our age. we have difficulties getting along with others, we don’t like things said or heard or people talking about us behind our backs, either. Look, I live in this community, I mind my own business and I tend to stay a loner. Why, because people can be cruel, mean, vicious and uncaring. I don’t go there, folks, I tend to avoid involvements. I also tend to avoid large crowds, too. I am not a church goer, I am not an event attendee, I am a walker, a loner on purpose. Why, people can be cruel, I dont like crowds and I will not be the center of attention or a burden to anyone. Not the way I was raised and taught. Just me folks, not your fault, not my fault, just me being me. I grew up, being myself in a world of others who liked to follow. And my choices are my own of course. So, when you look at others an dthey don’t fit the pattern of people, you expect, don’t judge them, talk about them behind their backs, learn to accept them as they are, and let it be. Never force, just accept, you may find the best is ahead, yet!


