Relationships !

Relationships, whether they be straight, homosexual, or anything else humans wish to call them, are vital to humanity surviving on the planet earth. Now I can tell you this, I have had two long term relationships with two wives.

One was my first wife which by law and history lasted twelve years and produced two daughters. I was in the Navy when I married her and I thought for sure it was the one that would last for all of my life. In the end it was her past and childhood and what her father did to her and her siblings, that ended it all. Sadly, the divorce affected not only both of us in different ways, but, it also affected our daughters, who were never the same. That first marriage I did all I could to try to save it, but, the situation was not my fault really and in the end I had no choice but to leave and protect myself from what I knew was coming. People who are sexually attacked and abused by their parents as children should never attempt to get married, I know they need love and deserve a decent life, but, they should consider the children they may have and the spouse they married when it all comes flooding back. In my first marriages cases there was no saving the marriage and the children suffered big time.

My second relationship I determined to never have children again, and to be a lot more careful, and always to be ready if it fell apart. Under those circumstances I learned, age means nothing, what does matter is open communication, caring, compromise, and a determination to make it work. I know because it has worked now for over a quarter of a century, my second wife and i have been married going on 19 years in September but we just passed the 26 year mark this Month of May 2019. Yes we lived together for seven years first, respected each others belongings and ways and learned to live with one another, never losing any emotional ties we have and that have grown stronger over time. Relationship may start from physical or mental attraction, they may develop out of physical need or out of emotional need, but in the end, it must be a two way street period. As long as you are grounded in a relationship that has love, respect, understanding, communication and compromise in it, it works. If you get to a point of selfishness, or anger, you should leave it before you or your partner of the relationship gets destroyed.

Relationships I have learned depend on certain things and I know I am repeating here, yet it is necessary all understand them.

  1. Some attraction either physical or mental must be present. Or Emotional Even.
  2. Open and honest communication at all times.
  3. Dedication to the relationship
  4. Compromise- it must be a two way street at all times.

These are the primaries for a good Relationship, add in listening and be patient and wala, you can make any relationship work. You can’t not listen, if you do, you will lose the relationship for sure.

I am proud of myself actually, for I did all the above in my second relationship and 26 years together has been great and we made it work. So, if you get in a relationship that last, do yourself a favor, never forget why you started it in the first place, and what attracted you to the other person in the first place. For if you remember that quality, and what attracted you to them in the first place you can always find it in them again and it will save it all for you in the end.

One thing to always remember about any relationship in life, love, no relationship lasts without working at it, to make it work. Don’t give up persistence pays off!

Dedication must be present also, I say this because I deal daily with a wife who has breast cancer turned to bone cancer now. I would never do what many others would do, which is run away from it. I will stay with her to her end I have no doubt, because our love has no bounds. If she should pass on me, I will be here to help her go gracefully and as painless as humanly possible, that folks is dedication, caring, and love.

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