Relationships, Friends/ Woke or not!

An intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Although an intimate relationship is commonly a sexual relationship, it may also be a non-sexual relationship involving family, friends, or acquaintances. 

A Relationship is based on the interaction between two people, they do things together and spend time together and they treat each other with respect. They know what one another is doing, and where they are at most times.

Now, I hate to say this, some believe, in this new world of the woke crowd, that a relationship is not what I am saying above. Some believe because they live in the same house,, and co-pay for it, that makes it a relationship. No, sorry folks, cohabitation is not a relationship. It is cohabitating, in the same residence and sharing the cost only. If you aren’t spending time together, you aren’t at home every night you can be, well, it’s not a relationship.

I understand relationships I lived them, I had two marriages, one 12 years and one 28. Now, if I had dressed up and gone out on my own without either of my wives, at any time, they would have asked what I was doing and would never have put up with it. As my wives put it, if your friends are more important than me, then be with them, don’t expect me to stay here and wait for your return. If in a relationship with someone, in my book, you come home to them, you provide for them, you spend time with them. Old Fashioned maybe, but it is what a relationship is really.

I was raised that a relationship is a one on one with another person you love and respect and pay attention to at all costs. If your, in it you provide for the female and it’s your job to do so as the male half. Now, it may sound sexist or old-fashioned, but, it is how I was raised and taught. I suppose many of today’s couples may see it differently and be a part of this so-called woke movement, and it may be their way this cohabitating, but it isn’t mine. As my dad used to say, you live in my house you live by my rules, I am sure many have heard that growing up. It is like a staple saying from a father to his kids. So, I can’t say it is wrong to cohabitate like some do these days, but I can say I disagree with it. The way I see it with relationships, you are either full in or your actually just dating and living together, period.

By the way, a financial entanglement is not a relationship either. It is co-mingling funds you make, just to pay the bills, you need to meet. That is a monetary agreement is all, unless you have either physical intimacy, or emotional intimacy, and spend time with one another, it is not really a relationship, even if you co-reside. It is just living with one another. I am not saying marriage is the way to go, I am saying that relationships are not, based on money, possessions, or living together, they are based on caring, sharing and, being with one another, They are based on time with one another, listening to one another, open communication with one another. The physical intimacy part is not always a requirement, but the emotional commitment is. Sex drives can die, feelings don’t folks unless you kill them. If that happens then the relationship is not working anymore, when both parties go their separate ways to find fun. When spending time with your friends is more important than spending time with the one you’re in a relationship with, well, let’s just say, like an old friend told me, it’s time to leave the relationship, it doesn’t come first, your friends do.

But again, as I said above, I am not a relationship expert, nor a Doctor, but I did live two long relationships in my life. The only way it works is, paying, attention to the one you are in it with. Spending time with them, being there each day and night

Stats show divorce happens just for the reason of people not spending time together. Look it up, divorce happens for many reasons of course, yet mostly because one side or the other side ultimately looks elsewhere for what they are missing at home. Of course, there are reasons like physical and mental abuse in extreme cases, many know that, but, in the end, stop spending time with the person you are in a relationship with and start spending time with your friends and see what happens. Want proof, look in divorce records. Look at The Beatles even, when John met Yoko, and she drew him away, the Beatles busted up. Lack of time with someone you are in a relationship with causes break-ups and divorce. People want, paid attention to, they want loyality caring, support, dedication. It’s is all what a relationship with a woman is about men. Remember it!

Now, friends are people who come and go, they party with you, drink with you and then go home. Friends don’t, come drink all your booze and never buy their own. Friends care about you as much as you care about them, it’s a two-way street. Everyone likes having friends, to share good times with, but in my case when my friends start interfering with my relationship the relationship wins out, my partner, lover, girlfriend, or wife, whichever it is at the time comes first always, not my friends. Friends shall come and go, and few of us have friends that last over 50 years, I do. So, when I say friends are nice to have, I mean it, but, whoever you are in a relationship with comes first, or you lose them. Call me old-fashioned, call me non-woke crowd, call me whatever, it is, what I believe.

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