Thoughts March 13th, 2022

Daylight Savings time has hit today, Spring ahead folks. Ya lose an hour today, but ya gain some sunshine. Each day is a blessing for all of us still alive, so carry-on, and enjoy is what I say.

Well, that said, spring shall come soon enough, it seems and life goes on each day. I have had no real luck since my wife died, everything I try to do is hard to finish, it is a constant waiting, that makes me worry and feel depressed.

Time is marching on and my wife’s passing is now over 7 months behind me, yet, I still think of her and grieve her daily. I know there are many out there who say, I shouldn’t be grieving still, but, unless you have lived a long marriage/ relationship of 28 years or more with someone, don’t tell me that. I know I post blogs and Facebook posts on how much I miss her, and I probably will for a while. I just wish everyone who has a relationship or marriage could have what I had with my wife. It was a partnership, a lover, a confidant, open communication, and caring very few have these days. People seem to not understand when I say I miss her big time and tell me to let her rest in peace, I let her rest, it doesn’t mean I can forget her or all we had together. I never will till I die.

I do not come from nor understand this so-called woke culture at all. What the hell is a woke culture world folks, I have no idea at all. I come from the old-fashioned culture of a man providing and taking care of those he loves. I am not of the culture where a man tells a woman she has to pay certain bills, she has to do certain things and you can go your way and, I, my way, we can party separately, that I am seeing today. I don’t understand it, nor do I believe in it either. I provided in my marriage, I paid all the bills, I provided the food and cars, and more. I never once looked at my wife and said you have to get a job and pay this or that, I made sure it got paid for her and I. Guess the new world is this woke world, but it is not my world at all.

The same is true of the Trump era and his bullshit, he pulled in office in my opinion. He broke more laws as President than any other in American History, was twice Impeached, and failed at everything he tried to do or touched. He failed at his wall, he even failed at selling water and steaks and a false damn college he produced. Sadly, he is still walking free today, when he should be in prison for all he did, inciting a riot and sedition at the capital, why because he lost an election, well the people choose, and Biden won. Period, end of it Trump, now disappear please! Anyone else not feeling that way is fine with me too, just don’t force what you want on me and I am fine.

Onward, next subject, I have been going through depression and as I do I tend to wonder why others do what they do, but, unless it affects me or those, I love I usually say nothing at all. I am 66 years old folks, an disabled, veteran, with six herniated discs, PTSD, Sleep Apeana, and more. I try just to survive each day and carry on the best I can. I can’t deal with people who act like children, hide from things, or run away when faced with things they don’t like. I can’t deal with lies either.

I gave up many years ago on bullshit from others, lies from others, or those who do as they want, no matter how they hurt anyone. I was raised differently I suppose. As I said above I come from the old school when it comes to relationships, I was taught a man provides and spends his time at home with the woman he loves and his children if they have any. SO I really do not understand the new woke culture or world at all. Never would I get up and get dressed and go out on my own without my wife. I am 66 years old so I am set in my ways, but once you are in a relationship isn’t the purpose to spend time with the one you are in it with? That’s my opinion for sure. I have a firm belief in what a woman wants doesn’t matter, your possessions, wallet size, or materials you have, it depends on the respect, you give them, the caring you show them and they want your time too, for it is not what you have that they really want, it’s your time and interaction with them that counts. Am I wrong?

As I see it, most relationships that end in divorce happen just for the reason that the quality of time and quantity of time is not good enough for the woman involved. They lose contact and end up feeling alone, ignored, or abandoned and they look elsewhere for someone to pay attention to them again. Maybe in some people’s eyes what I am saying is wrong, but it is an opinion I have every right to. Want, to prove it true, look through divorce records, that include military families, the longer one is away, the more likely a woman is going to look elsewhere for love and caring. We all have needs, each of us, and unless those needs are answered or supplied and fed, we tend to find them somewhere else.

Let’s see, I spent 12 years in one marriage and had two children, spent 28 years in a second marriage that ended when my wife passed. Now at no time, did I in my 30’s, 40’s, 50’s or, 60’s now, just go out whenever I wished, doing as I pleased, and leaving either of my wife’s home alone, ignored, and on her own. If they didn’t want to go with me, I didn’t go, simple as that. It’s called, compromising and caring in my book, caring enough to know if I did it would end what I had with them. Am I wrong in my opinion, some will say, it is fine to go out without your partner, as long as they say so, but even the women who say this, say in private they don’t like it or approve! I will never understand why any man thinks it is ok, to shower, shave and dress up and put cologne on, and head out to a bar or tavern and do so without the woman he loves if he is in a relationship. Why are you dressing up and going out, if you have what you want at home?

But I am not of the woke culture that is here today either. Generations are different and people run their relationships, their own way, and do their own things. If the woman involved says she is ok with it, do it guys, go ahead, but when she looks at you and says you should stay home more, you better listen. Last I knew, if you go over 7 years in any relationship, your partner and you separate, she gets half of everything. Laws protect the women of the world. Ask any Judge in Divorce Court or civil court, you will see. Unless the laws have changed that is. I don’t believe they have.

Now, personally, I said something about the above situation to someone who repeated it back to her man and embellished it and exaggerated it and it became an issue between us. I just want to say this on that point, others who are friends, have stated the same thing I have and asked the same question also. One is a man, one was a woman, and then me. What was the question, I asked, you may want to know? Why is a man in a relationship who is of long term, and in his 60’s, showering, shaving, putting on cologne and going out to taverns, and hanging out with people half his age and leaving his woman home alone? The answer I got was, he likes singing and he goes once a week only. No, to my knowledge, he goes 2 or three times a week I have witnessed it. Anyway, no matter what or how many times a week it is done, to me it is wrong to go without the woman you’re with. Like I said I am old school, so I don’t get it at all. It is my opinion only, do as you please I say, but when it costs you, don’t get upset. One other thing let it be known I am not the only one who has seen and said something in this case.

I have witnessed many things in my life, some disturb me and some don’t. But, this new woke culture is not right for me, I know that much. I also know, I don’t understand why everything people do is a competition. It’s sad when you can’t just play cards for fun anymore, it has to be cut-throat, lol. It’s a game, no money involved, I never worry if I win or lose, I only play for fun. If I wanted to play cards, for competition I would do so at a casino for money, not in someone’s home. Silly facts in life right. Life will go on, no matter what I do not have long to what is left of my life, I already know that much. My parents passed at 55 and 59 respectfully, and I am now 66. If I die tomorrow it would not matter to me, each day is just existence to me, so it is one day at a time now.

I also know that in order to forgive someone, you must be able to forgive yourself.

Instructions are left where to bury me, how to bury me, and what I wish in writing, God Bless All.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.