Facing facts in life is maybe the hardest thing a man or woman can ever do, and self acceptance is the first place it should start. We all start to learn this at a young age as we grow up, some of us know it at 5 years old, others figure it out by 10 years old, but in the end we all figure out most things by 16 years old. Are they lines drawn in concrete or stone, no, for each of us learns and grows at the rate we are exposed to live around us and experiences we go through. We all, understand what we are born by a certain age in our lives, we sense if our senses are better than other, or our minds, and we judge by experiences as we go and we tend to avoid what is not right by using those experiences.
When your 5 or 10 years old you know already is you are straight, gay, or bi, on your own, you can feel what and who you are attracted to and definitely by 16 all senses come alive and you know what trips your trigger so to say. So, sexually you come alive as a person by 16 for both sexes, now the question becomes what kind of a family did you grow up in, and did they let you develop naturally or did they interfere?
IT’s like most things in life and it is a natural process, the unnatural starts to take shape as we go along and feel and sense life. We accept certain things or we dont’ based on what we are taught by others who raise us. Some of us become violent and can rage at society and either one sex or another for being mistreated at a young age. Others accept what is done to them and go with the flow because it is easier to do, it depends on personal decisions we all make or are forced to accept due to circumstances we live through. I know it is hard for some to accept what I am saying or understand it, for you have never stopped and thought about it, but maybe you should.
As you get older and go past 16 years old you tend to develop your own needs, desires and wants, and try to match them with someone who can provide what you want, and learn that to get where you want to go, or what you want, you have to give as well as take and start to listen about the other sides desires, wants and needs too. We all do it, it’s really a gradual process we learn, like a learning curve in education of life itself. If you want pleasure for yourself, you have to give pleasure to someone else in return. The problem come sin when it is all one sided, thus a relationship ends. To make it work compromise must exist between those involved or like nations on opposite sides of a war, it ensures conflicts and destruction. If you can’t compromise, listen and adapt, you lose and end up alone in life. I have seen it more than once, sadly, and in the wake of destruction is a mess few can overcome emotionally, so they go through life damaged and never able to overcome, it is a struggle. So adapt, change, evolve, compromise and listen, be a little flexible and make it work, for no relationships can work unless both are willing to work at it. Always remember, there are very few relationships that are perfect i would say none, it is all about working at them, to make them right for both involved.
I can say this because at 62 years old I am on my second marriage. My first one worked until her problems from her childhood arose and destroyed it. It is the hidden things that destroy the current things and create hate and anger. So open communication is vital, and that goes when trying to connect with those you lost or left behind too. honesty is vital, you must make sure all understand what really happened before you can really move on, and tat goes for all involved, even if you have children, they must be included too.
My second marriage didn’t produce children, but it is one that had gone on now for 25 years and is still in place. Why, because of compromise, acceptance, beliefs and honesty. Accepting each other for who you are and what you are is vital folks and it works both ways for people in partnerships. Always remember the person you are with choose to be with you out or love, respect and caring and maybe a sexual or physical attraction too, it all adds in. Be smart and give as much back as you can or more than they are and make it work, it can be worth it, if you want it to be.
I am now 25 years into mine with my wife. We have been through the good times, the bad times, the ups and the downs, and we have stuck it out together. We believed in one another, we love one another, and now we face the biggest hurdle in all relationships together one is sick and the other healthy, I take care of her, I married a woman 16 years my senior, her health is failing due to cancer. She has breast cancer, since 2006, which we fought through chemo and radiation and beat back in 2006. Then it went into remission and showed up again in 2016 ten years later and is now in her bones. Recently we have learned it has now gone from bone to tissue again and is growing despite all medications and fighting we have done.
The fight begins once more in earnest now and I know as she does too, we are losing it slowly. I wish to God I could change it and keep her with me furever, that is what life, love and caring is about folks. Being there and praying, hoping and watching, waiting and hoping against hope you can prevent what you know, if your a realist you can’t change. We fight, I take her to Doctors, Hospitals, Scans and tests and I see the pain when she can’t lift an arm, when she can’t sleep in a bed anymore, I see her slowly fading but I pray for her and against what is happening, but I can not stop it folks. Cancer is a killer and we both know it, we have seen it before and both have had it it, we watched other die from it so we know what is coming. But we still carry on as close to normal as I can folks, so she can have her full life and enjoy what’s left.