25 Years and growing !


25 Years ago this coming summer, I walked into a Tavern in the small town of Oxford, Connecticut, trying to overcome a divorce that occured two years prior, and start over. I didn’t know at the time that asking someone to dance, would lead to 25 years together, and so much adventure and much more. But I do know I would never trade that evening for any other, it led to us living together for 7 straight years and then getting married and we are still here now together seeing each other through job loses, bills, and health issues and so much more. We even shared and lived through cancer so far, hers and mine and here we still be. Our Home and cars paid off and doing all we can for the ones we love together and for each other. 25 years folks is a long term relationship for any couple, you learn to give and give and compromise and negotiate too, but you compromise because you love the one you’re with and to show you care, it’s life folks.

Would I call myself a failure in anyway in life? I asked myself that before many times when I struggled through my first mariage trying to make it work, and it didn’t, I asked it as a child in elementary school and in high school too, but I persisted enough to move on to working for a living and joining the service. Childhood was filled with beatings, pain and suffering and watching the family I was brought up in divide itself in many ways. If you ask the surviving children of my mother’s marriages you would find we all have different opinions about the life we grew up in and that is normal folks. We have different opinions on our mother and different opinions on our father or in my case step-father. Each of us were and are different individuals and I think in the end that is what it is all about in life.

Did, I  fail when I quit High School and went on to go in the service, not really for my service career spanned 16 years folks. My time was spent between the U.S. Army, U.S. Army National Guard in Connecticut and finally the U.S, Navy, I served with pride and honor and have four Honorable Discharges to prove it too. Plus I have six herniated discs in my spine to prove it too, as a Disable American Veteran. I am proud of my service and all I did for my country and would never change it.

Did, I fail in first marriage, I think not it went 12 years before the divorce was final, did I ask for the divorce no. Did I want to give up my children no, was I the one who had the problem that caused it no.  Did I deal with it well, again I would say no for I left two daughters behind, but I had no choice at the time. Did I try to make it up to them and get to know then as adults yes, so I did all I could. So while the marriage failed, I really didn’t.

The Second marriage mine right now is a 25 year relationship, and I am proud of all we have accomplished together ad I love my Melinda to pieces, we are old now. I am 62 and she is 77, but age never mattered and it will never matter. You know when something is right, and just go with it and that’s how it all went here for both of us. We went through our ups and downs and ins and outs and much more, but we have never waivered or looked elsewhere we survived and always will.

We both are now cancer survivors, her twice over, and me once and through it all, we never once thought of  running, leaving, or changing the hands dealt to us both. I love my wife and always will till I die. and vice versa is true too. She made me who I am today, I went to College and got a Degree due to her pushing and helping me. She is a Graduate of UConn here in Connecticut too.  We are not rich and will never be but we get by well enough for two people together.

25 Years is a long time folks, and I am proud to say I hope it goes longer and longer, forever, yet I also know cancer can end it all at any time. My Wife has gone from Breast Cancer in 2006, to the cancer spreading to her bones in 2016 and it is now 2018. Radiation and Chemo in 2006, slowed it down, but it came back in 2016 in her bones now. In between I suffered lung cancer myself and lost a lobe and one third of my right lung, but she stood by me and I by her.

Years from now after we are both long gone, they will find us buried side by side, because that is where we belong together forever!

 

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