Diabetes, has me now!


I am a diabetic folks and I know I don’t look it, but I am. I am only 5ft 8 inches tall and around 205 to 210 lbs. these days at 63 years old.

I never had much for health problems in my life, with the exception of my back and neck injuries from my Naval Service. Diabetes knocks me for a loop if I am not careful about what I eat these days. One second I was fine and the next bam it hit me, I took a blood sugar test with a meter and wham I was at 163, on the scale.

I get that high and my head pounds, my body aches in pain and I will pass out and sleep for at least an hour or a little more before it all comes back into normal range. I have never in my life felt so physically ill before in this way.

I have a Doctor at the Veteran’s Hospital who has me on Metformin and Fatiomodine, both drugs meant to control my blood sugar levels. I have also been given lipitor to help control it all. Yet, it gets me at times, because foods today contain too much sugar and are processed.

I will be looking for alternative ways to eat to stay alive now a days. What foods to avoid, what ones I can eat, and what ones I can’t anymore. It’s a daily struggle when you have never really experienced it before and it suddenly comes at you.

I am told the best for me as far as my numbers go should be between 80 to 120 on my meter. Since I had the bout yesterday where it raised itself to 163, I got up this am and made my coffee and took my glucose level and it was 104. My head is no longer pounding, my body is feeling close to normal and I know I must be very careful from now on.

How long will I last under the diabetic problems I have and health problems I have otherwise is unknown to me. I know now what my Doctor told me at the Veteran’s Hospital, I am going to have to take care of myself, if i intend to take care of my wife, who has breast cancer metastasized to her bones. Each day is a struggle for me, and I have my PTSD, and my back and neck injuries filled with arthritis too.

I still have to shop,clean, and take care of the house and cats and my wife too. Limiting what I eat is the next objective for me, otherwise I believe I won’t last too long. So, I will have to research a diabetic diet that stays far from sugar products and possibly any processed foods. American food is filled with sugars and carbohydrates is a main part of the diet in America. I have to shift from that to more natural foods and manage portion sizes for myself, cut back on snacks and be very careful.

I have heard before of Diabetic Living Magazines and books and advice columns and basically ignored them, because it didn’t really affect me, now it does. Slowly I will have to look at alternative ways to eat and live if I want to keep living.

I have to limit my intake of sugar products and carbohydrates, which contain natural sugars which affect diabetics also. I used to love cold cereals and found out I can’t eat them anymore now, for one bowl full set my blood sugar level to 163. I suppose to save my life I will have to change my diet in many ways.

Breakfast will have to become an egg or two now a days. snacks will have to go bye bye, and become something better for me like yogurts. And suppers will have to include a portion sized piece of meat or fish some veggies and I will have to stop eating potatos, I think. It’s not easy changing your lifestyle is it folks?

My head pounds if I eat too much sugar and my glucose levels rise. My head feels like it is splitting in two, and my chest does too. More than likely I will have a heart attack or a seizure in the future if I am not careful. I hope to and pray I can avoid it, but, all one can do is try each day.

I have lived a decent life if you ask me. I helped all I can, and I bothered no one unless I had to. I served my country and did my job there. I tried to keep my marriage together the first time and failed and if I failed anyone other than myself, it would be my daughters and I am sorry for that.

As my time gets closer and my health begins to decline I tend to look back over my life and hope I did what I could, when I could, for whom I could and took the best care to do so, I could also. If anyone I knew or know today, thinks I did them wrong or hurt them in anyway, I am sorry I don’t think, I ever did.

Regrets we all live with folks no matter if your a man or a woman, no one is perfect, so we do the best we can. Now I fight my diabetic condition and my wife’s cancer all at once and see what happens next and accept the fact, I can not control when the Good Lord Calls, but I can control only my life and how I behave. God Bless!

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