I want to discuss today an item I ran in to, this week. Called resistance to change, the refusal to see something changing, due to time, or due to the need to change to make it better, that does not happen, because of rules, regulations and traditions, put in place and held for a long time. We build this resistance on the adage and thought of it’s working already and has been for a lengthy period, so we won’t update it. I heard this many times from people who own sims in Second Life and who believe they are right, just because it’s their sim and it has lasted as is so long.
There are two sides to every argument and thought mankind has ever had. And in the end, only one can be right, I know. When you write excessive rules, regulations, traditions, creeds and people who are everyday people walking in your club or business, can not understand what you are writing, due to the language it is written in, then you have a problem. Those coming in are not all Lawyers, Officers in the Military of any sort. Nor are all college graduates, with degrees of any kind, especially, in a BDSM or D/s program.
When you finally realize and start to make changes, because you see problems and results you did not want to see happen, you have to sit back and wonder how did we get here and what did we do wrong to get these results and how do we now go about changing it to correct it so it doesn’t happen again. To fix it all, one has to stop and reevaluate what you have already and then be very careful about the changes you are trying to make, for they have to be in plain English and clear without scaring away the people you already have in place. Otherwise it will tumble down and fall apart and you lose all you have built up over time and effort.
When you members sit before you or in discussions without and debate whether they understand the rules you put out, because of the language they are written in and say, make it simpler, make it easy to understand for all, and stop adding more for people to do, and making it not fun anymore, it’s time to back up and figure out a different way to achieve what you want to do.
What causes the above problems, over one thing. 1) Resistance to Change occurs when an organization or the owner of said organization, is stuck in one thought, one way of doing things and can’t see a reason to go a different way. So you have to show them the reason to do so, first, then show them a solution to what the problem is and how to implement it.
Bureaucracy grows over time, and it even interferes in Government’s operations. IT slows down processes; it gives people hoops to dive through, and so much damn red tape, they finally surrender to it and give up. Sadly, this slowly erodes and destroys the organization from within, by causing internal fighting, arguments, bickering and misunderstanding in said organization. How do you avoid it if you make changes then?
The answer my friends is not blowing in the wind as Stevie Wonder said, the answer is in listening. Listen to your people and act accordingly to correct the situation or it will damage what you set out to create. Destruction of your creation is not what you want, you want to change it yes, not destroy it, so listen. Recently, a friend of mine was advising me, and gave me some advice, I think needs applied here in this case..
Becoming an Active Listener
Pay Attention. Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. ... Show That You're Listening. Use your own body language and gestures to show that you are engaged. ... Provide Feedback. ... Defer Judgment. ... Respond Appropriately.
Now the above works in businesses and in personal relationships too. Now, in a venue such as Second Life, which is a glorified game, listening to your members is vital. The difference between adding or losing members is listening to all they say and adjusting appropriately. When you have members saying, too many rules, too many assignments, make the language of said rules and assignments easier to understand and clarify, then the verbiage and written language and size of the words you are using is wrong for the audience you have watching and listening. So reword it, it won’t kill you to take out the legal wording and bring in common sense language to explain will it. There is always a way to make it easier to understand, and easier to adapt to.
When people go, your changes are too messy, too long, all can’t understand the rules, or they say if you make that change I won’t do it, you have a problem. So what do you do, create more committees and panels to to fix it, and they only make it worse, by doing it and not listening? Listening is vital in business, listening is vital in marriage, life and yes, any other activity where people are included. Listen first. Humans react to excessive rules, excessive work, excessive behavior from those who are bosses. Wake up Listen, that’s where changes begin to happen in relationships and operations in the world. A Blind man can not cross a railroad track alone , or a river or ocean, it takes a crew to sail a ship: it takes enlisted personnel in the service to get the job down, not the Officer yelling and giving orders. I can give a simple example in this way: the United States ordered an attack on Iraq, to rid the world of Saddam Hussen. When that attack was order they gave a mission to General Swatzkoff, go to Iraq and find Hussein. Swaztkoff wasn’t told how to do it, just do it, he had to make his own decisions on tactics, how to advance, and in the end how to reach the aim and submit the plans for approval and then move ahead. I mention this because you can’t as a Leader operate as an island unto yourself, nor can you make all the decisions by your self. It just does not work that way. The way things get done is a mission is given, and an objective is there to complete, what the Boss, President, or General must do is listen to options and ways to reach the objective, but do so with objectivity, impartial vision and with their own knowledge. When a plan falters or falls apart, it is the leader or boss or owner who must step up, review, re-evaluate and correct it, not the pack of individuals in middle-level positions. That is creating bureaucracy where there is no reason for it. Too many cooks will ruin the stew here, too many opposing views will only confuse the way to a correction.
You want to correct it, and make it work, then you need advisors who can see the issues, present them to you, without being intimidated or scared of you and repercussions. If you look down on them because their ideas do not meet what you want, it may not be they are wrong for speaking up or out. It maybe you didn’t make it clear what your aim is to accomplish. Clarify, don’t put down or push aside, include, and encourage and not discourage or put fears in anyone. Be careful. You want it fixed, ask the right people, sometimes there needs to be a change in the peeking order to get a clearer view of the picture and what really needs done. Keep in mind, times change, needs change, demands change, wants, needs, desire change and so do people. And keep in mind fresh look, may be best through fresh eyes, listening to the same people who got you into your rut, you’re into, or who set the rules with you that caused the problems in the first place, may not be your solution. Fresh views and visions, change the world for the better daily, make it change yours too.