Research and studies, living, experiences, teach us each day, about life in general. a They also teach us, right from wrong, ethics, manners, honor and doing what is right, for our selves and society asa whole around us. When it comes to personal lives and how we live them, we all make our own choices, on politics. religion, or sexual preferences too.
We are hard-wired from birth in some areas, such as what we look like, and our sexual preferences are far as gay or straight or bi. So there are some things we just accept as we grow and live with, because we can’t change them and wouldn’t it would go against our human natures, physiology, so to say.
Now, as we age we learn as we go for sure, we experiment and with ideas and try different ways to reach new heights in sexual experiences, or in jobs or lifestyles. It’s just a way we live, if you get what I mean, changing is not really a part of us, for we do not always accept what others do. Why is not the question really for we are what we are taught, we are what was instilled in us by heriderity, DNA or upbringing. Some are taught to be catholics, some hebrews, some muslims, some protestants Some are raised in homes with anger issues and violence between parents, others are taught to never be violent, so are pacifists . The point is certain things, effect who we are, what we are and what we accept as we age and grow to be, who we, are meant to be. That is called individuality folks, it is what makes you different then me, what makes men different then women and on and on it goes.
I have heard many explanations and ways of doing many things in my life, for I have experienced the world, in ways others have not. I have traveled the world in The U.S. Navy, I have served my country and paid the price with now, disabilities that will last for life and PTSD too, on top of it all. I have suffered loss in losing parents to cancer and suffered having it myself and my spouse having it also. You live with it, even though it tears you up inside you never show it to the world. It’s how I was taught to be, and an inner part of me and my nature. When your born with problems you learn to overcome and survive as you go early on.
As a child I was born with problems, like epileptic seizures, of which I had 199, in my first nine months of life and overcame by falling on my head as a nine month old. Then, I was found to be hyperactive and had attention deficit disorder too. That took longer to overcome actually, around about ten to eleven years of life till I adjusted, and overcame. I struggled through those early years of life, not fitting in with my family or other kids in the neighborhood or schools I attended.
Point being at every critical point in my life, at critical stages I faced things few could overcome in their own if they faced them, themselves. So, I make decisions based on what I have experienced and lived through, not what others things or what they believe is right or normal, but on what I see as proper for me to survive. It’s what we all do ultimately, yet we don’t all realize it.
Anyway, that leads me to life these days and things I have recently experienced. we all experience grief, we all experience anger, we all experience highs and lows and we all go through stages of experimentation and trying new things out. we find things in life that lead some of us to sexual experiments, others to drugs, alcohol and more. we test ourselves by trying new things out, and in the end we make decisions on what we find, as to whether to keep that thing or things in our life going forward. It’s called life and living and learning folks.
Lessons can be learned through many ways. Touch a hot surface you jump back and preserve yourself. Go under water you learn to hold your breath. Jump from a place too high and you learn not to anymore, simple right? Not for all out there, while some of us react and adjust, some of us push too far and hurt ourselves, or when we go too far and know we are addicted or caught up in something we know can ultimately destroy us, we fall into it, get used to it and forget we are in it, until it become normal to us and hurts us in the end. It can hurt us mentally, emotionally or even physically if we allow it to. And some sit and continue it because they know no other way to be, and can’t find a way out.
Such is the choice some make to enter the DOminant/ Submissive world, or Bondage, Discipline, Sado Masochism World. many refer to it as a perversion world, one where people hurt each other for pleasure of one another for different reasons on different levels. Some areas are more severe than others, like whips, straps, burnings, markings, tattoos and more. Than there are devices, toys, and more involved, all used to enhance and improve sexual pleasures they say. While all of the above is choice, I am sure all will say that, what isn’t a choice is what happens to the submissive woman or man in this lifestyle. They are used, abused and mentally programmed and controlled by those who call themselves, Dominants, of either sex. These submissives are used, abused and taken advantage of and in the end become broken or defeated to such a point they believe it is natural for them to be that way, when it is not true.
To clarify something here, No I do not hate BDSM or D?s asa sexual lifestyle preference. There is a difference between sexual preferences or choices and forced or mental control of these submissive individuals. Secondly, DOminance/ and Submissiveness is one part of this lifestyle, and BDSM is a second part they are not necessarily combined but it is what many try to make so, at all times. THird point, just because you like to be spanked or use sexual toys on yourself or others, it does not make you perverted. It means you are choosing what you want done to you or to do to another person for the pleasure of yourself. But, let me point out something for all who live this lifestyle, one word choice!
Certain factors that apply to any normal or straight relationships do apply here even in BDSM and D/s. 1) Open communication is vital. 2) That includes listening to your partner at all times, you listen to their wishes, wants and desires and you work to give them what they want and they in return do the same for you. If not, your doing the lifestyle wrong. 3) Open communication means mutual discussions, mutual acceptance or nonacceptance, open discussions not limited to just sexual preferences or toys or devices, but should include all, yes and can include political preferences, religion and more even ethics and manners.
I hear many online Dominants who claim to be Masters in these lifestyles speak of Honor and Trust. Let me be clear their view of Honor and Trust is false, for they do not respect the submissives they are trying to control. When you push people away for disagreements, on subjects such as harems. multiple partners, because they don’t believe in the same as you your not Honorable or Honest period. I have heard this so many times it is silly, listen, a relationship does not include three or four woman to one man, or three or four men to one woman, that is an orgy or gang bang of which I also disapprove of personally. sadly, these so called online Masters, who own sims in second life believe that’s the way to go on their sims. It’s just wrong. I believe in choice yes, but to force it upon someone in a Initiation is stupid and it is mental rape. Period.
Before you decide to enter the BDSM and D/s Lifestyle, make sure you realize what you are entering, read up on it, enter it slowly, carefully and go slow. Be clear about what you will not do, list you limits, make sure they are clearly known to all in the lifestyle. be clear what toys you won’t use, what devices you like or dislike, what you will put up with and won’t period. Know thyself first please. don’t rush in and find out that you got trapped or forced into something that will mentally drive you into depression or a danger area.
Next when you do enter a sim in Second Life or elsewhere online, or in real life, be cautious, be careful, be slow. Watch for those who are there to use and abuse submissives, watch for those who go too far, or act like they know it all. No one knows it all folks in BDSM or D/s, they only know what they have done and what works for them, not what works for all. They tend to be personally motivated to their own satisfactions, needs and desires, not yours, I warn all. I have seen it, witnessed it and it can get nasty, dangerous and when they reject you, they acclaim it to all in the lifestyle and try to banish you from it, period. so, unless you want to sit and listen to lectures and take assignments and lessons from these so called Masters who run these sims in Second Life, I wouldn’t go there. These so called Masters, meet online and discuss people who they think are dangerous to their sims, and ban you from all of them once you make one objection or disagree with them.
What’s the bottom line on The Lifestyles, then? Here is the final bottom line from my point of view, no one can fully agree with all these sims or clubs want done. some are non vocal and walk away on their own, others like me fight the system and rebel against their system or set ups. The truth is any form of BDSM or D/s in real life isa choice, agreed to between those involved and in the end, isn’t it all about choice and preferences? IT should be based on Open communication, careful listening, caring, mutual satisfaction, and if one says no , then it’s no. The BDSM D/s Lifestyle is combined because one usually leads to the other, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be. Don’t let anyone tell you it must be. someone needs to tell these so called sim Owners in Second Life, they are teaching wrong, they are being controlling of submissives and abusing the submissives they draw in. That isa crime in any moral world you live in folks.
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