I awoke about 10 minutes to 7 am today. I sleep now some, so it is not too bad for me, rest is vital when your 65 years old. Being 65 and being without my wife is not easy, learning to pay my own bills and having no one to talk to when alone takes some getting used to. I miss her company, being able to talk to her and her presence, but, I also know her long battle with cancer is over and there is no more pain or discomfort for her. I also know I did all I could for her to keep her painless and alive for as long as I could.
Each day I find myself, thinking of our life together, in one way or another. We had a good life and a long time together 28 years worth, I would not give up one day of it with her.
Now I must face the world alone and the process is not easy each day. I want to talk to her, ask her advice or just be with her but she is gone.There is nothing I can do about that except feel the want to see her again. I know she can’t come back, and I feel the loss daily. I will always feel the loss from her passing, she was that big in my life.
After filling two twenty cubic foot dumpsters, and setting the house up for an estate sale which we will finish today and start sellinbg all I can tomorrow, I can now see the past slowly disappearing. I know, I can’t stay in such a big home alone and there is no reason for me to now that she is gone. I must move ahead now and find a place of my own.
My search for a new place has begun, as I search for a condo and a new way of living. So many things need done and done properly. The hard part was her burial and the headstone with both of our names on it now, side by side. I also got a Lawyer working on the probate for it all now. All I need is comps on the house to the lawyer next and that will happen once the house is cleaned out. Realtors will be called to give them, then I will send them to the lawyer.
Each step I have had to take is rough to do for I am shutting down the life I had with her to start anew. I need a fresh start, the memories will always be with me of course, but, I am 65 now and I am still here to carryon, until, who knows when.
That being said, life continues to go on in the world around me. I have been lucky to have a sister who is helping me through all of this. She is a blessing for me and I thank god she is here. I don’t know how long I would have lasted without her.
The world is a nasty place these days. Congress fights over budgets, people get violent and kill others, you have to be careful to survive even in america. Sadly, we are falling down a hole and economically and otherwise we are falling deeper into a hole we may not climb out of.
America also suffers from a problem Congress has not deemed important enough to act on as of yet but should. In American history, we have never had a President who turned on his own country to try to stay in power, untill Donald, J, Trump. His speeches, his rhetoric and his words, have already caused an insurrection, then, we find out he had the Justice Department try to overturn the election results and he pressured states to do so too. No President in American History has ever been Impeached twice in one term folks, Trump was. Donald J. Trump was total disaster as President and his record shows it. Americans need to ban him from holding public office ever again!
For those Americans who still believe in Donald J. Trump, I feel sorry for you, all of you. I will tell you, this man failed to sell water, steaks, Trump University and much more. He was laughed out of the United Nations while President, he failed to build his wall he promised and then he failed to handle the cornavirus, also. He told people to drink bleach folks! Sad. In history, Donald J. Trump is the worse President ever and you want to reelect him in 2024, what is wrong with you?
As time goes on, I have seen plenty in six decades, plus of life. I have lived through the end of Eisenhowser, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford,Carter, Reagan,Bush,Clinton,a Second Bush, Obama, and under none of them was America so divided or so violent then under Trump. It was and is a sad fact now in American History and if anyone should not be able to run for President or public Office again, well it is Donald J. Trump, ban him Congress!
That said, lets discuss the murders in America these days, They are on the rise as attested to by the death of this young lady Gabby. people getting shot, taken, kidnapped and more across the country. It has to stop folks. As to finding Gabby’s finance, well let me say this, I doubr very much that his parents do not know where he went, thats the first thing, secondly, if I am correct, and he is guilty of killing Gabby, they may just find his body, he may commit suicide due to his guilt and remorse. Time will tell for sure, how many believe me or think the same?
Final though for today. As I sit here, I think back to generational difference in raising children in America. Back in my generation and I grew up in the 1960s and 1970s physical punishment was still used on children. Children were disciplined properly and listened and behaved better. Today’s children do as they please, are babysat by video games and cell phones and they do as they please, unless ,they get caught. Then they act like you took their birthday away when you punish them.We lived with it as children and learned from it all, they don’t. It’s a sad discussion to have, nowadays.