I hope it will work out for me!

Tomorrow it is back to the home in Connecticut to sell more items. Time waits on no one thats for sure and at the sametime I spend time searching for a new place to live in Massachuetts. Basically I want to downsize and find a condo to buy that willo fit me. Being 65, it won’t be easy to find a place i like, I like privacy and the loan company said no to a mobile home so far. SO I am guessing it will be a condo with one or two bedrooms only next.

The hardest part is driving back and forth during daytime hours and meeting people as they buy parts of my life from me. The time consuming is big time for the driving and other things one must do. I wish I didnt have to go through this and my wife was still alive with me and here, but alas, I have no choice for she has passed. I cry at times, remembering her and the way she fought for so long against cancer and I did it with her. The battle was 16 years long and in the end when she finally lost, I cried and I still do, thinking of her. The thing I must do now, is carryon without her, and do the best I can to build a new life without her. I miss her terribly, believe me, but I also know i have to do what I have to do, I am still here.

Each day is an adventure now, as I try to do everything on my own. I had to learn to pay the bills by myself and her way of doing it. Then, I have to sell all I own now to survive and carryon without her and to move forward now. I need to sell the house for what is a widower of 65 years old going to do with, a four bedroom, 3 1/2 bath home? Nothingfolks so I am hoping some family will want it to raise their children in. Time shall tell now as i keep emptying it the best I can.

What the future shall hold for me, is a guess, all I can do is one day ata time and hope I am going in the correct direction, to a peaceful existense for me, till I pass. I have a plot nextto my wife all set to receive me, when i do pass now and the Veterans Administration will bury me.

I have done all I can for others most of my life, from family, to wife’s to daughters, to grandchildren and more. I served Uncle Sam for 16 years and then took care of my second wife for 28 years, and 16 of them fighting her cancer. I hope now, I can find a life of peace and quiet and good times, till, I pass. Do, I deserve an ending for myself that has some joy, some laughter, some peace to it? I hope I do and that the Good Lord will help me achieve it, before I pass myself. Is it something I deserve I am not sure, but I know, I want peace now and some fun times, and comfort. I am hopeful I can find it soon.

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