Thanksgiving 2021 has arrived today! It is to be my first major holiday without my wife who died on August 10th and who I buried on August 20th, 2021. Each year my wife and I would go through the holiday season together and travel to places she wanted us to be at. We would laugh, we would smile and we would enjoy seeing others get gifts we gave. I think that many we gave to for the Holidays, did not return the same to us over the years, but the Holidays are not about what you receive, they are about giving to others and watching them light up and smile.
I married my wife over 21 years ago, after living with her for seven more years, before. Now, for 28 years, we gave to her family and mine too each year and on all holidays too. Let me say this to those who received what we gave them and the grandchildren whose education we gave to, and her daughter and sister too, my wife had no money, she had no job, she had in income I did, I provided. Let me say this, no one understands I gather that I provided, I gave and I took care of my wife, Melinda. For 28 years if she wanted something I found a way to provide it. Medications, Doctor Appointments, Scans, cars, homes, and more. I wonder if her daughter, her grandchildren or her sister realize any of it. I doubt that for sure.
For the first time in 28 years now, I have no wife to be with, the silence is deafening, and the fact she is not here anymore, can eat me alive if I don’t move on and do what I can, to keep busy. I wonder what her daughter, her grandchildren and her sister think now?
In reality, it is sad to know they don’t care about me, or the fact I took care and loved her dearly, sadly they don’t even bother to pick up a phone to say hello or ask how I feel and each of them have my cell phone number too. I find the lack of respect a sad item from all of them. I find it insulting that they came to my home as my wife was dying and sat at the sides of my wife’s bed as she was dying, and talked about what they wanted after she died from me or her estate. Who does that folks, please tell me?
What I find sad is the following, when my parents died it was 1990 and 1991. All of us, who were their children, were present and there. We didn’t worry about work, or anything we were there together. We didn’t go on vacation with our children, or not visit them. Then I heard comments like, I don’t understand how fast her condition worsened. Let me say this, my wife Melinda suffered through her cancer for 16 years folks and I did with her too. We fought cancer for her and me in the same damn time periods, Her decline toward death was not fast, or sudden, it was slowly happening over the sixteen years. Yes, the fall she took at the beginning of her ending, affected her health. Yes, I did all I could to rush her to a hospital, yes I stayed and watched over her and put her through hospital days, tests, treatments, and then through rehab, not once mind you but twice in her final six months. Yes I brought my wife home and into hospice in her final days, so she would be near me, and in her own home. So I did it right, did you?
When she died in her hospice bed in our home I noticed the Hospice Nurse and then I notified her daughter. I did right in all ways I could. I worked with her daughter on her obituary, her urn and burial and yes I paid for all of it and her headstone too. Her daughter, her grandchildren, her sister or family, did not pay a dime for any of it, I did.
So, before you judge me, before you ignore me, or say I didn’t do enough, I did it all, where were you? Did you offer to pay a penny for your mom’s death, did you? No! Have you contacted me for anything other then to demand and request material things out of my home, that you wanted of hers? No!
Now as Thanksgiving is upon me, and my wife is gone and buried over 90 days and more, I am thankful for the time and years I had with her and I will always be. Happy Thanksgiving my love and wife, I miss you dearly, God Bless You!
Macattack56's Blog 