March is now underway and it seems no matter what time shall move on, it doesn’t care what you or I, or anyone or anything does, it just ticks away, day after day. Now it is fine when you are young trying to get old enough to do things you can’t when young, but, when you reach fifty and above, you tend to wish time would hold still some. We all have things we still want to do, even as we grow older, don’t we folks. For some, it is a special trip somewhere, some special vacation, a special car to buy, or items we want for ourselves. For others, it may be just seeking a comfortable place to live and retire to, where no one will bother you. Each of us is different and it does depend on how well you lived your life when younger, as to how well you retire, and where you can go.
I may be one of the luckiest individuals alive really, for I have been retired for a long time, due to my Naval Injuries while serving. I get medical, dental, and prescriptions free when needed. So yes I did something right in life to have those. Still, I am a firm believer in, if you have no one to share your life with, you really have no reason to be here on the planet. In my life I never did live just for me, I lived most of it for others, in one way or another. It is what people who served in the military do.
As time marches on for me, the aches and pains and discomfort from my military days come back to haunt me and so does my PTSD at times. Nightmares, flashbacks, hit now and then, and I have to halt and wait them out in peace. Yet, for some reason, I am still here on earth, 6 months after my wife passed away last August. I still miss her every day I wake up, and she is not beside me to talk to. I know it seems foolish and like I am being silly or hanging onto her too long, but grief has no bounds folks, and each day something may happen to remind me of her.
Anyway, I do not wish to cry at this time, for right now, there is too much in progress I am awaiting the results of. First, the sale of the home I shared with my wife must close, before I can buy the condo I lined up. Leaving one state, and going to another is what I did, the idea was to be near to my sister in Mass up here. It is getting closer each day to closing down there in CT, and then the buying up here in Mass will start the process. It will be a big week for me coming up and I just hope all goes as planned.
My plans include many things of course, and in the end, I treat all fairly and well for all they did or do for me. I have contractors to pay off, furniture and a car too. Bills to pay leftover will be the first to take care of. The new mortgage will need set up for auto payments each month, and in the end, I will need to ensure I have all I need to live. I need to settle in and get the timing right to do it all, I may need to adjust some in the timing yet, but I will know pretty soon for sure.
Time waits for no one and the only thing that can argue with time is mother nature. It’s fact folks, it has been that way since the beginning of the world I believe. Somethings never change that is for sure. Others change whether you like them or not, like relationships they can go sour, or be affected by what you say or do, or not say or do. They can be affected by many things relationships, for words or lack of them can destroy, relationships. Sadly, I have seen that happen more than once in my life. No two people speak the same, nor mean the same things when talking and some things can be misinterpreted, misunderstood, or taken wrong. I have been down that road many times in my life and seen it and even see it happening today. Sadly, I can’t solve a problem if it is hidden or not talked about openly, nor can I solve a problem someone has with me if they don’t or won’t talk to me about it. It’s just a fact of life I have to accept, and I can’t change it. I am not perfect I am far from it I know and even if I meant well when I said something, all can be taken out of context or meaning and misunderstood also. Sadly, that is all a part of being human and the filters we have built into us as we grow up and live our lives. Let me say one thing before I end today in this blog of mine, human beings are what we are taught as we grow up, the formative years count most, then as you age in life it is the experiences you have lived through that form who you are in the present day. We tend and I am not alone I believe all do it, to look back on prior experiences in life to draw on decisions for present-day matters. Otherwise, we make decisions not on what is in the present-day situation in fact we look back and we pull from the past experiences that are similar and go yes or no based on those, to decide for today. It is a fact, and an old saying, burned once, shame on you, burned twice shame on me. So humans try to avoid the same mistake twice and that sometimes causes a different kind of mistake also. I may have gone that way myself, it’s called over-compensating. I can’t change it, but I can just deal with the consequences of it and go on from it in the best manner possible. We all do it, and we are all human.
Well, the big week ahead is closer, and hopefully, it will be a good one for me and all involved will work out properly. In the meantime it is day by day, thinking it through and trying to get done what is needed on time. One day at a Time is all, all of us can do!