Always remember that!


For every person out there, there is always a good side that they show publicly to all around them. They smile, they laugh, they talk, and in the end, we all go home and have to be with ourselves at some point. The show we perform daily for public purposes then comes to an end, when our workday is done or business day. We leave the public place and enter our vehicles, and go home where we must live with ourselves. So, in the end, when you lay your head down on a pillow and go to sleep, you have to be at peace, enough to sleep till the next day.

How does one get to peace? How does one feel safe, content, and that they are satisfied, enough they can sleep well each night? The simple answer is never going to sleep angry or upset with someone else you care about. Work it out, so in the end, there is peace between all parties in your life, talk, compromise, and settle. I spent 28 years married to a woman I still love dearly, now, 7 months after she passed from cancer, and we had one rule, never go to bed angry. It worked!

People tend to hide their bad sides when they want to get something or someone to do what they want to be done. OK, I will give you flowers and I will buy you candy, or a car or a house and we can live happily ever after, right? Wrong! Material items don’t work folks, they don’t make relationships work or last. Behaviors do, attention to the other you love does, interaction, communication, loyalty, and building trust works. You can’t get in a relationship, take it for granted, and get away with it, it will come to bite you in the ass at some point and end said relationship for you. There are some basic rules about all relationships, whether they are romantic or not, that need to be understood by many.

The first rule, dating is dating folks, until you both agree to a one-on-one relationship. The second rule, once you are in a committed relationship, is make sure you are all in. Otherwise, it means you decide, both parties to be the only one, the other sees. Commitment is vital. The third rule, compromises, learn that any relationship is a give and take, be prepared to compromise and meet in the middle. If you don’t, the relationship will not work. Fourth, and vital, remember that trust is built day by day, and to get it you have to give it, if you don’t, well, trust will never be there and it won’t work out. Respect for the other person is vital. To get respect, you must give respect.

Now here is a fact few couples remember, your partner you are in a relationship with comes first always. You can’t just do you please, won’t work folks. This circles back to open communication skills, compromise, and trust building. Especially if you are living with someone or married to them in a committed relationship. Humans tend to wonder when one half disappears doing their own thing, and it can cause the big green eye of jealousy to arise. It can also cause doubts, fears, and anxieties, so be careful. Look I am not a relationship expert yet, even I know, undue separation, ignoring your partner for your friends, or disappearing for long periods of time ends relationships. Ask any divorced couple about that one folks, and you will see I am correct.

I had two long-term relationships in my life. The first lasted 12 years, and ended not by my fault, but by the other half, hiding her past and it rising from that ashes. The second was 28 years and ended only because she passed from cancer. There were no secrets on my part, there were no real problems on my part, the truth is, I am not perfect and made my mistakes we all do, but, if I were so bad, my track record says I am not. 12 years and 28 years is a decent run for any relationship or marriage, I believe and many would give their eye teeth to have them. The main reason for them working compromise, and open communication and the one vital thing in all, is listening. Relationships are only hard if you refuse to compromise, listen and communicate openly.

The last item when dealing with relationships, you can’t perform publically in one way and then in private be totally different. You will get caught, and it will blow up on you. Phonies get caught sooner or later, be yourself at all times. This is why con men and women get caught, the act can only be held up for so long before the real person that is you, comes through. In the end folks, relationships, we all want them, but to maintain them, you have to work at them. Always remember that!

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