Wendsday is slowly ticking by. Time slides by so quickly as we age, you somethimes do not realize how fast it does go. Seems to me, that life is far too short for each of us. We keep putting aside things we want to do or places we want to go or see, why, because we just do. As we age, we get slower and more careful, and we always seem to double check things.
We are all human and we all have some aliments as we age, some not as bad as others of course. So, we carryon in life the best we can, and end up where we want to be most of the time. There will always be times, we don’t get what you want and, we learn to live with it all.
My health goes up and down, or painful, so each day I wake up I wonder how long I have left on this plane of existence. I try, to stay stable mentally, emotionslly and physically. I work overtime trying to find things to keep my mind busy and alert. Physically, it is harder when you are like me, running around with injuries. Back injuries and PTSD, add in other factors and i am still kicking, but how long can one beat the odds, before they catch up to me. I find each day, a maze to go through, without a co-pilot to help me any more.
I do have memories of my wife that make me smile, and sometimes i cry over her death. It’s like a roller coaster on the emotional stream. One day on a level I can handle and the next it puts me through loops. Yet, I am srill alive and I wonder why?
Now, as life goes forward my back aches and tightens up and then it snaps, cracks and causes me severe pain I live with.
So, I know I am not alone as far as pain, both physical and mental do exist. It is a common problem for many of us, in this world we live on. I tend to work overtime to avoid whatever may be there. The only way I see with dealing with these pains and injuries, is to press on, and live with it all. I have Doctors yes and they do a good job of trying to keep me going, and I appreciate all of them.
I use television and the news to distract me from the pains I have. I honestly believe one must have a sense of humor and laughter goes a long way. As I told many today, if you don’t laugh or can’t for some reason, it will ultimately lead to depression and tears. And that becomes a circle of pain that will not quit on it’s own. The person in such shape must find their own way out of it. So I struggle thru and do the best I can each day, I live.
Some days I am happy to be alive yet they are few and fae between to bew honest. Other days I am depressed and in a crying mode, hurt by the loss of my wife and the crazy shit that happens in daily life. I am learning slowly, I must press on and keep apositive attitude, for if I don’t I may end all for me. Am I ready to die and enter the next plane of exsitence, no! I am lonely, I do get depressed and somedays I do tell myself I should have died with my wife. It’s hard to stay alive, when you have lost your partner of so many years. Yet, here I am.
Life, it seems is not all candy and cream sauce or sweets. There are many times it is bitter, nasty and it makes one think, and run away. Running from something or somebody will not help in anyway. Yes you avoid a confrontation, but the problem persists and festers inside you, as an invidual. Many people go through angry all the time and hide it, if you hide it or avoid it, it does fester, it does knaw on you and make your life miserable. Don’t let that happen to you is what I say.
Don’t waste your energy or time and effort on stupid fights or arguements. Don’t take advantage of others, earn your own way. Be a person who can stand alone, one who relies on themself no one else. And Remember: You can’t like anyone or anything else, until you like yourself first! It all begins to go right if your smart enough to like who you are, it makes it possible to accept others as they are. I hope that makes sense to all out there.