Sunday has arrived once more for me and all who are alive. Some of us prepare and go to church to pray, for forgiveness and to be thankful, others love each day in thankfullness for being alive and skip the Sunday rituals of church. Each of us are different in what we believe or do not believe, that is for sure. One person is a fan of country music, one may love roock and roll, another may wnat classical or opera, yet we all dance and live to our own beat and our own inner musical notes of time.
Being a man who was born in 1956, I want to say this to all, no generation, had any better times than mine. We had Elvis, we had The Beatles, We had songs that still ring out today when played and people still sing along. We had creativity, and style from long hair to short, from cars to sports stars. Parentrs worked, provided and cared for us as kids, we didn’t have console gaming, we had board games for cold and wet days. When the weather was nice, we were outside, playing with friends, exploring nature and running and jumping and laughing with others. Now, not all of us were with others mind you, some were like me, an outcast, laughed at for being different or not fitting in. It is how my youth did begin.
Yet, I overcame by exploring nature, running the woods, climbing trees and hiding in hoods so to say. I ran alone and always did as a youth, it was what I was and who I am today in many a way.
Children, have to feel wanted and feel like they fit in, before they get accepted by society and others. It takes time for some to figure out how to do so, so they call us outcasts. The truth is we are not outcasts, we are just ourselves, and until others go well he or she is ok, and let us in, we have figured how to do it alone on on own, and make it work anyway.
Boys, run, jump, play ball, explore nature and more,
We experiement, we check out animals, the woods, mather nature and soone ror later as we grow, we begin to notice the opposite sex, don’t you know. For some of us we do so, in our teens, for other sof us, we do so in the inbetweens. For some like me, it started young and for others boys, it started a lil later than most. I never worried about who was what sex as a child, I just played with both sides. I played dolls with my neighbors who were girls. I ran with the boys in the woods too. I learned that it doesn’t matter what sex you are, male or female, it is how you treat others that counts in life. We all tend to be different as we grow, some are angry, some are joyful, some cry, some laugh, some argue and some agree is all. But, if you stick with who you are inside, in the end it works out, overtime, you wil find your way, fate and destiny happens to us all is what I say.
Now I know, this growing and maturing is not easy for all of us, but it happens for a reason. It is called the cycle of life folks. Born, raised, taught and guided is what most get, some are not lucky enough to get all of that, they do so on their own mostly like i did. Again, I was aloner, a lone wolf type,, scrap and fight for what I wanted and avoid if i could as i went. We all do it different some physically, some mentally, I avoided the physical mostly except at home. There I had no choice an dthe beating would come and i would survive them too, parents, sometimes are not meat to be parents. So I did what I could until I found a way out by becoming a kid who was away from home more than home at anytime. I had surrogate parents and families who helped me through. I wa slucky to have found them.
We grow and age slowly, and we begin to realize, at one point of another, we do not live forever, We want to leave something behind so we are remembered and so we can help those we love. Some of us do it with money, some with advice, and guidance, and other through what we say and do. Yet in the end when we are long gone and our cycle oflife ends, we want to leave some kind of imprint or mark on the world for our families or survivors to see. It’s just a part of our human nature is it not folks/
So, for me, it is my writings, poems, stories and letters to others. It is my thoughts on politics, the gae and times I live in and through. The thoughts on my reasons for all I do. The decisions we make in life, is what makes us decent human being or makes us good or bad, aren’t they. I made decisions, and i kept my word is what I want to be remembered for. Some will say, I am full of shit, others will call me a liar and a bad person. In fact, I am not. Yet some will think so.
Look, life throws curve balls at you as you age and it is whether you hit them or let them pass that makes you. We can’t control how we are raised, we don’t always control our own hormones, but, we can control what we know to be right or wrong and how we handle those situations. I make judgements and decisions not base don what is best for me, I make those decisions on what is best for all involved icluding me. I live with loses i should never have had, I accept what I have to and can not change, and I move on. Don’t we all do that in life?
I made promises to myself an dothers growing up and i kept them. I promised to serve my country honorably and i did. I did 16 years of sevice to Uncle Sam and i am a Proud, Disabled Veteran daily in my life. I made promises to old frineds to tell truths and I did so helping others in their lives an dletting them understand it all. I kept promises to myself and my first wife too. Ipromised her the day we got married, if you ever look at me and say you wnat a divorce, I wil not fight you. When it happened i didn’t fight, but the collateral damage was my lose of my two daughters. They stayed with her. I had no place to raise two girls on my own and no way of doing so so I did what I thought was right. Did it work, well, to a point like most things, but I missed their lives, they missed mine an din the end many years later we said hello again. It isn’t perfect and will never be, and yes it hurts me. But at least I know I tried to keep them safe.
I made many decisions, I wish I could change over the years, haven’t you. I suffer from not being able to speak my mind or heart when it come sto emotions, and love. I married twic ein my life and neither wife, heard me say I love you much, but knew I did love them. There are women I loved I never told i loved them so what did I do, Iwrote it out and sent it to her so she would know. She knows now, but timehas marched on and we have both been married twice had our children and our lives. She knows, I know and that is all a man can do, be honest, I was scared, I was young, I was lost and i moved out of the way so others could be there instead. But, life goes on, doesn’t it.
We all make decisions folks, we live with those decisions once we make them and we carryon. As I always have said in my life, I am me, for who else can I be? I also say, there is no fighting Mother Nature unless you are Father Time! Menaing they constantly struggle neithe rwinning, nor losing, but, in tandem forever more. It is just a fact of life, we can’t change fates, destinies, we can’t control living or dying either. I have seen too many die before I thought their time was up. We don’t control how long we are here on this planet. I have a way of thinking of life, and it goes like this: We are born to a plan beyond our control. We are set upon this planet and born to complete missions, we have no control over. Thos emissions are preset by the creator, and we are here to complete them, When wedo complete them, we get recalled to from whence we came. Otherwise folks, once we reach and achieve our destiny, our purpos eor mission, we get recalled. That is how I prefer to look at life, and death, whether you agree or not, is not my problem it is only what I believe.
Each day we live, each person we meet, each thing we accomplish, leads us to our destiny and fate. So, here is to fate, here is to destiny, here is to a good life and one i hope is not filled with strife. Enjoy life each day, talk, laugh, cry, sigh,rethink and get by. Live and enjoy each day, for that is the real way to be. Take it from me!
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