I am beggining to believe and understand that now a days.

Friday has come around once more, and i am now 5 days from being 67. I find it amazing I am still kicking at this age. I have been through enougha nd i am getting tired out, it feels to me. Each day I wake up thinking what am I doing here and why?

My wife has now beem gone for over 17 going on 18 months, and i am still alone and know no one around me really. Being alone takes time to get used to again in life after you had a long term relationship taht wnet 28 years. So it is always one day at a time, and it is alonely world when you get older, more do not want to bother with you due to age. Then we have the covid effect and all that goes with it, the economy isgetting worse and the political climate sucks.

Since I have never learned to flirt in anyway, I am just me day by day. So I say nothing to any women really, and watch from afar. Loneliness sets in, then ya get depressed and then ya just surrender is all. Never was abig ladies man, nor was I one to chase women around. So, even when I do see someone or meet someone online I have no idea what to do or say. It feels like i am in a world out of sync to me and lost.

Now I have tried dating web sites and talked to some women, but then, I don’t meet them all or drive all around trying to either, I am not interested in traveling 50 miles or more to meet someone.Web sites don’t work if you ask me I have tried Zoosk and OurTime and find them to be filled with old profiles and reusing them and of course the scammers who only want money. It is sad really.

Then you have the Adult Sites like Adultfriendfinder and others, offereing ways to meet people for different sexual acts and such and for creating relationships for sexual acts or lifestyles. Again, scams in many ways and they don’t work either in my book, for in todays world, people are scared, too many crazy people in the world, too many desperate people in the world and of course scammers who wnat money, not just relationships or friendships. Sad world we live in today for sure.

As to what is next for me, i do not know, I do what I always do, I walk when I can, for health reasons, I play x-box on and off, I watch movies and tv shows, I write blogs and poems and stories when it hits me to. I chat online for fun also. I play billards once a week and bowl also once a week right now. I tried pickle ball, hurt my ankle, and didn’t go back since. Maybe in the spring I will try again. I tried fishing some last year in the lake here, but no fish bit lol.

Life is a series of the same events for me daily, sometime I read and sometimes i build puzzles is all. Will it change I have no idea, I know nothing of the state I live in here, Massachuetts here, Worcester County, or the town I live in Westborough. So I struggle daily tryingto get around and oit into the public. So I see or know or have met no one. Life is not easy as you age and it seems that no matter what you do, the fates and destinies and the Good Lord drive your life without you knowing why. You tend to finally just give up and hope for the best. Life shall go on, until it doesn’t for me, time shall tell, nut as i said before nice guys finish last and alone. I am beggining to believe and understand that now a days.